What If...

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

I would ask him whether he seriously intends to torture every non-Christian forever, as the "true believers" say. If he says no, I would tell him that there are an awful lot of people who have been spreading shit about his intentions for about two thousand years. If he says yes, I would debate the morality of his intentions with him.

Damn, I'd pay good money to see that debate!

I'd invest in a nice copper roof with a lightning rod atop of it for Wong. You know how petulant would-be deities can get when they're being out-thought and out-talked.

[Darth Gojira]

Here's an even thornier question:

Suppose Jesus comes back, Mohammed descends from heaven abd teh Buddha appears. They are each what they say they are and that their God is the true God, in teh case of Buddha, he has the true answers. Whoch religion do you choose to follow now having absolute proof that each one truly exists.

BTW I don;t mean to offend any Hindus not knowing how many are on this board please assume that those gods have been proven correct as well.

In other words, given incontrovertable proof that each releigion is valid, which is closest to your heart OR do you simply refuse to believe in any and go on your merry way.

Since all of the religions are simultaneously true, this means that you are bound by the rules of whichever religion you chose to subscribe to. Therefore, Jesus and Mohammed are out. Both of them represent religions where any misstep or disloyalty sentences you to eternal torture. Buddha might be a better solution because you're not necessarily tortured forever if you don't make the big boss happy, but reincarnation is pretty weird. I'd say that you'd be best off trying to start your own cult at that point, since its rules would be true too, and you can simply concoct useful rules like "Beautiful women must give me blowjobs every day".

All we need now are the Roman, Greek and Egyptian gods and we have a huge melee match just ripe for Fox's new reality TV show season.

I would watch that. It sounds better than all those reality shows. Bet Zeus could kick Osiris' ass!!

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Zeus, kick Odin's ass?! You must be joking! See, Odin fights dirty... he'd call in the Valkyries, and Zeus would be so fucking hard'n'horny he wouldn't know which sword to use... Odin +1, Zeus -Manhood. LOL!

[StarshipTitanic]

Play Age of Mythology.

[kojikun]

Raoul, he said Osiris not Odin.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Raoul, he said Osiris not Odin.

Oh. So he did. Time for a prescription update, heh. Yes. And here I say "Osins", which I thought was a typo.

And in that case, I agree. Zeus would kick Osiris's ass and take his chick.

Although I'm pretty sure my friend Osiris, who works at the Graffiti Shop, could drink Zeus under the table and thus win by default.

[Darth Yoshi]

I would say that I will go up and start asking awkward questions about biblical inconsistancies, but that'd be lying. I'll probably crawl into a corner and whimper at my impending doom.

[Connor MacLeod]

I would ask him whether he seriously intends to torture every non-Christian forever, as the "true believers" say. If he says no, I would tell him that there are an awful lot of people who have been spreading shit about his intentions for about two thousand years. If he says yes, I would debate the morality of his intentions with him.

Last time I recall, you were kicking his ass with a chainsaw

[Connor MacLeod]

<-- wonders why Wong didn't say give anal sex??

Obviously, you don't watch enough porno. First the girl gives a blowjob, then vaginal sex, and then anal sex. There is a proper order.

Plus its Hygenic

[Connor MacLeod]

<-- wonders why Wong didn't say give anal sex??

Obviously, you don't watch enough porno. First the girl gives a blowjob, then vaginal sex, and then anal sex. There is a proper order.

Eating the girl out comes after the blow job and before the vaginal sex. You're getting careless.

You know, we could get really creative complicating his basic statement with the various permutations of sexual activity possible. I mean, just throw in another girl or guy and the ordering becomes exponentially more complicated..

[Darth Gojira]

Zeus, kick Odin's ass?! You must be joking! See, Odin fights dirty... he'd call in the Valkyries, and Zeus would be so fucking hard'n'horny he wouldn't know which sword to use... Odin +1, Zeus -Manhood. LOL!

Ah, but is a spear really that more deadly than a thunderbolt? I'm not sure Freyja can stand a chance against Athena. Think: Aegis+Lightning=PAIN

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Zeus, kick Odin's ass?! You must be joking! See, Odin fights dirty... he'd call in the Valkyries, and Zeus would be so fucking hard'n'horny he wouldn't know which sword to use... Odin +1, Zeus -Manhood. LOL!

Ah, but is a spear really that more deadly than a thunderbolt? I'm not sure Freyja can stand a chance against Athena. Think: Aegis+Lightning=PAIN

Well, considering that the weaponry of all the gods basically have the same effects, I'd say the spear might just trump the thunderbolt. After all, Thor (who is lower in the Aesir heirarchy) carries Mjollnir, (or Destroyer, a.k.a. Thor's Hammer) which basically was the Asatru explanation for lightning. So really, a fair matchup for the Greek pantheon would be one between Zeus and Thor, as they are more equivalent than Zeus and Odin.

But to address Zeus vs. Odin anyway, I'd have to know what sort of toys Zeus has to play with, and what abilities he has to go with them.

Odin=access to omniscience, immortal (he sacrificed himself to himself to get the runes) shapeshifter (actually, this might've been Loki, don't remember whether Odin had it as well) Has Gungnir (spear that will always return to his hand when thrown and which never misses) Sleipnir (eight-legged flying horse) Draupnir (gold arm-ring that spawns nine copies of itself every night) Huginn & Muninn (Two ravens, their names mean Thought & Memory; omniscience pipeline) Freki & Geri (Two great black wolves, their names mean Hunger & Wrath; think hellhounds).

[LadyTevar]

Zeus, kick Odin's ass?! You must be joking! See, Odin fights dirty... he'd call in the Valkyries, and Zeus would be so fucking hard'n'horny he wouldn't know which sword to use... Odin +1, Zeus -Manhood. LOL!

Ah, but is a spear really that more deadly than a thunderbolt? I'm not sure Freyja can stand a chance against Athena. Think: Aegis+Lightning=PAIN

Well, considering that the weaponry of all the gods basically have the same effects, I'd say the spear might just trump the thunderbolt. After all, Thor (who is lower in the Aesir heirarchy) carries Mjollnir, (or Destroyer, a.k.a. Thor's Hammer) which basically was the Asatru explanation for lightning. So really, a fair matchup for the Greek pantheon would be one between Zeus and Thor, as they are more equivalent than Zeus and Odin.

But to address Zeus vs. Odin anyway, I'd have to know what sort of toys Zeus has to play with, and what abilities he has to go with them.

Odin=access to omniscience, immortal (he sacrificed himself to himself to get the runes) shapeshifter (actually, this might've been Loki, don't remember whether Odin had it as well) Has Gungnir (spear that will always return to his hand when thrown and which never misses) Sleipnir (eight-legged flying horse) Draupnir (gold arm-ring that spawns nine copies of itself every night) Huginn & Muninn (Two ravens, their names mean Thought & Memory; omniscience pipeline) Freki & Geri (Two great black wolves, their names mean Hunger & Wrath; think hellhounds).

Mostly right... but what Odin sacrificed was his EYE to gain the knowledge of Runes, and Loki was the shapeshifter.

[Captain Cyran]

What if Jesus came as in the Second Coming?

I just wonder this because I missed a mini-series on this weekend called "Second Coming" where it's basically about Christ appearing again on Earth in 2003 in the form of a man in England (I forget the actor's name ) and he finally shows himself up as Jesus.

The world goes mad from what I can tell and it's like Armageddon or something. Y'know, nice panic stuff.

So, what if he did come back, was the son of God (thus proving a God existed as the Bible said) and he actually had proof of this e.g. turning of water to wine, walking on water blah, blah...

Just curious what your reaction would be.

Well, once it was proven that he was in fact Jesus. My jaw would drop, I'd shake the mans hand.


And IMMEDIATELY get into a theological discussion with him, I WILL get Jesus to agree with me that the Bible is a bad example of God.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Well, like I said, Odin being able to shift I wasn't sure about -- but you're off on one thing yourself: Odin gave up his eye to Mimir so he could drink the Mead of Wisdom from Mimir's Well.
But the suicide/autoressurection thing is described here:

So indeed, based on the traditional texts, these appear to have been seperate and distinct events; the first a trade and the second a sacrifice.

[Darth Gojira]

Zeus, kick Odin's ass?! You must be joking! See, Odin fights dirty... he'd call in the Valkyries, and Zeus would be so fucking hard'n'horny he wouldn't know which sword to use... Odin +1, Zeus -Manhood. LOL!

Ah, but is a spear really that more deadly than a thunderbolt? I'm not sure Freyja can stand a chance against Athena. Think: Aegis+Lightning=PAIN

Well, considering that the weaponry of all the gods basically have the same effects, I'd say the spear might just trump the thunderbolt. After all, Thor (who is lower in the Aesir heirarchy) carries Mjollnir, (or Destroyer, a.k.a. Thor's Hammer) which basically was the Asatru explanation for lightning. So really, a fair matchup for the Greek pantheon would be one between Zeus and Thor, as they are more equivalent than Zeus and Odin.

But to address Zeus vs. Odin anyway, I'd have to know what sort of toys Zeus has to play with, and what abilities he has to go with them.

Odin=access to omniscience, immortal (he sacrificed himself to himself to get the runes) shapeshifter (actually, this might've been Loki, don't remember whether Odin had it as well) Has Gungnir (spear that will always return to his hand when thrown and which never misses) Sleipnir (eight-legged flying horse) Draupnir (gold arm-ring that spawns nine copies of itself every night) Huginn & Muninn (Two ravens, their names mean Thought & Memory; omniscience pipeline) Freki & Geri (Two great black wolves, their names mean Hunger & Wrath; think hellhounds).

Actually the reason of Odin's rule is A)hereditary rule, and B)Brains, which both Zeus and to a greater extent, Thor, lack.
As for Zeus' weapons, they are as follows: immotality, thunderbolts, mojo over brains morality(think Austin Powers), aegis(shield which he lends to Athena), shapeshifting, eagles, harpies, griffons, and one hell of a family(just when does Frigg try to kill Odin's children. The fight between the Aesir and the Olympians would mean Raganarok for both sides.

However, I must admit that Thor and Zeus match up better than Odin and Zeus. Zeus, Hades, Hermes, Athena, Poseidon, Apollo, and Heracles could prove a formidable team against Tyr, Thor, Freyja, Balder, Hod, Odin, Frey and Hemidall, maybe even a stalemate.

[Keevan_Colton]

Odin was also a shaman...and he did have the power of shapeshifting....he sacrificed one eye for a draught from the fountain of knowledge/wisdom and used shape shifting in various eddas to get what he needed to do done...