OMFG THE STATUE OF DAVID HAS A DING DONG?!

[Chardok]

From HERE

ABILENE, Texas -- A piece of yard art is drumming up controversy in an Abilene neighborhood.

A family has displayed the statue of David in their garden. If you didn't know, the statue of David is of a naked man, and though the owners say this is just art some residents are finding it offensive.

Roxanna Nunez, who lives down the street, says her children have started asking questions, "Mom what is that, uh...what can you tell a child if you haven't talked about sex yet."

Alina Hatcher agrees, "You have a lot of mothers and parents in this neighborhood who are outraged by it."

The homeowner didn't go on camera Tuesday, but did talk to KTXS saying they are not trying to offend anyone.

They say it's a statue they fell in love with, that it's just art, and its just body parts. At this time they don't plan to take it down.

Neighbors say they understand it's art, but does it have to be this anatomically correct? "To have this type of expression of yourself to put out it's a little daunting," said Hatcher.

"Some art needs to be left in the dog gone museum," echoed Nunez.

We showed Abilene Police a picture of "David", they say it is not against the laws to display art like that. However, they encourage the owners to cover him in order to "keep the peace" among the neighborhood.

Bolding mine - and posted without comment because my brain literally cannot form sentences in human terms that accurately describes the level of...something...I feel due to my fellow Texans' complete and total lack of anything resembling culture.

[Zed]

Is this news, or is it just another chapter of the book "let's mock Southerners!"?

[Serafina]

I can describe it with two words:
Sexual repression.

[Kuja]

I hate to say it, but...

http://www.tv.com/the-simpsons/itchy-an ... recap.html

Simpsons did it.

[kaeneth]

Is this news, or is it just another chapter of the book "let's mock Southerners!"?

Its another round of lets laugh at the culture-less southerners.

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission. I mean, what is the difference between a statue of a cock and a picture of a cock?

[Karza]

Is this news, or is it just another chapter of the book "let's mock Southerners!"?

Its another round of lets laugh at the culture-less southerners.

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission. I mean, what is the difference between a statue of a cock and a picture of a cock?

I doubt a statue with a dong is going to ruin anyone's life. Really, you'd think the difference in equipment between boys and girls would come up sooner or later anyway, unless the parents keep the very existence of the opposite sex a secret from their kid. And if your kid asks about the dong on the statue and you don't want to explain sex yet, just tell her it's the thing boys use to pee. That should suffice until the kid is old enough to learn about sex. Which by US standards is at the tender age of 25 or thereabouts .

[Darksider]

I'm still laughing at the idiot who said that the statue needs to be "left in the dog gone museum."

It's like they want to actively perpetuate the stereotype of Texans being uneducated, uncultured, redneck idiots.

[Gil Hamilton]

Its another round of lets laugh at the culture-less southerners.

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission. I mean, what is the difference between a statue of a cock and a picture of a cock?

It's not statue-porn. It's a scaled down replica of (what I presume is Michelangelo's) David. It's not a statue of a cock, as you put it. The statue has a penis, which isn't pornographic in and of itself.

In fact, less seriously, I'd classify it as necessary for any representation of King David, give how prominently King David's inability to keep it in his robes plays in the Bible. Canon fact; King David showed his penis to ALOT of people, given that he had danced naked though the streets of Jeruselam at least once... er, for God, of course, not that made his wife any less pissed at him when he got home.

[Dalton]

Yeah, that's offensive, but they'll execute a mentally disabled person. Fucking priorities are wired wrong.

[Broomstick]

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission.

It's a statue of a naked man, it's not porn. Actually, the statue's dick is rather on the short side compared to those I've seen in real life, and it's far from a focal point of the statue. It's just a guy's dick, nothing special. What's weird are replicas where the genitals have been edited out (OMIGOD! It's a eunnuch! Who gets to explain that to the 5 year olds?) or covered with some dumbass figleaf or something.

Then again, I grew up in a house where a small replica of that statue was part of the living room furnishings, so from my viewpoint as a young child it was just part of the landscape. I did have a friend who used to turn it towards the wall when she came over to visit, but never while anyone was looking at her, but most of the others who came over either didn't notice or didn't find it remarkable.

[wautd]

Simpsons already did it.

And fuck, I knew it would be about Texanistan again.

[Thanas]

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission.

It's a statue of a naked man, it's not porn. Actually, the statue's dick is rather on the short side compared to those I've seen in real life, and it's far from a focal point of the statue.

That is due to Michelangelo emulating the ancient ideal of beauty, which did prefer small male genitalia.

[Kodiak]

Roxanna Nunez, who lives down the street, says her children have started asking questions, "Mom what is that, uh...what can you tell a child if you haven't talked about sex yet."

You say "that's a penis (or peepee), honey. It's what boys have for making potties with." All the kids want to know is what you call it- you don't have to explain coitus to a 4 year old who just wants to know the name of something. I'd say roughly 50% of being a parent is just explaining things to your kids. If you're really uptight you could even say "those are boys private parts and we don't talk about them". But come on, seriously- one thing kids seem to find fascinating is biological necessity and the associated plumbing.

[weemadando]

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission.

It's a statue of a naked man, it's not porn. Actually, the statue's dick is rather on the short side compared to those I've seen in real life, and it's far from a focal point of the statue.

That is due to Michelangelo emulating the ancient ideal of beauty, which did prefer small male genitalia.

Or alternately, it's him also representing the fact that David is a naked dude who's about to fight a goddamn giant. And has some shrinkage as a result.

Also the face:

"Holy fuck what am I getting myself into?"

*edit* correct hotlink now inserted.

*edit 2* the classic beauty thing does however cover why the king of the Hebrews is uncircumcised.

[Uraniun235]

The degree to which the penis hangs out while flaccid also varies from man to man. A guy built like the statue of David might still have a fully average-sized erection.

[Korto]

Roxanna Nunez, who lives down the street, says her children have started asking questions, "Mom what is that, uh...what can you tell a child if you haven't talked about sex yet."

Tell her kids to ask my 3 year old daughter, who could tell them "That's the penis, that the wee comes out of. Boys have penises and girls have vaginas" No doubt following about how "daddy has a penis and Johnny has a penis. Johnny's my brother. He's Johnny. My brother, Johnny. But mummy doesn't have a penis because mummy's not a boy; only boys have a penis." etc.

Life must be hard to be that damn uptight.

Leaving for a moment. I think Jasmine's just let the chooks in the house again, judging from the laughter.

[Count Chocula]

I'm amused that it's the adults, who have seen dongs over and over and over again in their lives, that have such a "hard-on" for the statue. Hey, at least it isn't a fountain with a cherub peeing!

I'm tempted to put one in my yard next to the palm tree, just to see the neighbors' reactions.

This message was edited for spelling and punctuation, can't let that 700 verbal SAT go to waste. And that's 700 on the old 1600 point combined scale for you whippersnappers!

[The Spartan]

An Arnold Schwarzenegger family comedy (*shudder*) got this right 20 fucking years ago.

20 years and people are still too fucking stupid to figure this out.

[Patrick Degan]

Yeah, that's offensive, but they'll execute a mentally disabled person. Fucking priorities are wired wrong.

"We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene!"

—Col. Kurtz, Apocalypse Now (1980)

[Serafina]

That said, I'm not sure statue-porn should be displayed on someone's lawn where a 5 year old can see without a parent's permission.

How is that porn? It's just a statue of a male human.
You know what, kiddo? In my porn, people FUCK each other. A picture of a naked man or woman standing around doesn't count as porn unless you are 12-years old or a perma-virgin.

[Raw Shark]

The degree to which the penis hangs out while flaccid also varies from man to man. A guy built like the statue of David might still have a fully average-sized erection.

Yeah, David is a grower, not a shower. Stealth obscenity!

[Norade]

Frankly, fuck prudes. Protesting against a replica of a classic work of art is not only ass backwards given that the book these people likely worship is older than the statue they so hate. Hell, I'd full support somebody having larger than life statues of a massive bondage bukkake orgy on their front lawn and would likely go mildly out of my way to have a picture taken with it.

[Dalton]

Ironically, I am reminded of a Superglue commercial involving nuns and a statue's broken-off wiener. As the last nun turns to go, she turns it upwards.

[Simon_Jester]

Frankly, fuck prudes. Protesting against a replica of a classic work of art is not only ass backwards given that the book these people likely worship is older than the statue they so hate. Hell, I'd full support somebody having larger than life statues of a massive bondage bukkake orgy on their front lawn and would likely go mildly out of my way to have a picture taken with it.

More to the point, the statue depicts an event in the holy book- David about to slay Goliath.

That said, I do support some degree of public obscenity statutes because of the public nuisance factor. If it's something I'd really rather not see right this minute (like a larger than life massive bondage bukkake orgy), and you put it on your property in such a prominent state of display that I have little choice but to see it whenever I'm in the neighborhood, you're imposing your amusements on me to some degree.

There's a line here somewhere- the mere existence of public depictions of people with no clothes on shouldn't trip the obscenity statutes, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be any.

[Thanas]

If it is good enough to stand in the middle of Florence, it should be good enough to stand in a yard.