Let's Play the Megacampaign

[The Vortex Empire]

*Inches away from the strange robot*

Anyway, Paying a little cash to Leon and France so we can grab Wales seems like a good deal to me. I say we go for it.

[HMS Sophia]

Take Wales. The more crowns we hold, the more power we have. The more power we have, the easier it will become to crush this world under our boot heel.

[doom3607]

...Are you sure you aren't secretly megalomaniacs or something? But sure. Next update- we at least begin the Fall of Wales.

[Eternal_Freedom]

You ask for players to run a megacampaing that involves conquering and subduing the ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD, and you expect us NOT to be magalomaniacs? My God man, what are you THINKING?

[FaxModem1]

Right, so Bribe the other empires and conquer Wales.

[OmegaChief]

And then we'll never run out of sheep again.

Also be one step closer to dominating the british isles too.

[doom3607]

You ask for players to run a megacampaing that involves conquering and subduing the ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD, and you expect us NOT to be magalomaniacs? My God man, what are you THINKING?

Good point. To megalomania!

[doom3607]

THE MEGACAMPAIGN: CRUSADER KINGS: DEUS VULT
And seriously, does anyone have some actual name suggestions so it's not just 'The Megacampaign'?

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Chapter the Fifth: The Art of Cheating People Out of Their Land

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Within a few months, the King's preperations were done. Not that they weren't absurdly simple. He had enough prestiege to force a claim on one of the two counties in Wales owned by Leon, and the other was kind enough to make an independant declaration of war against Ireland when Ireland declared against the initial target- along with the kingdom of Leon, of course. Within a matter of months, half the Royal Army had dropped on their heads and beaten them both into submission. The King owned half of Wales, now, and was very close to the title. There was still the matter of the Kingdom of Leon to deal with, of course, but for the time being, things were going very well indeed...

---

It's short because we have a choice. We do have a pre-existing claim on one of the Welsh territories. The problem? It's one of the ones England owns. If we beat up Leon a bit, we can get enough prestiege out of the peace to take the French duchy, though. So my question is, who would you prefer open war with, at least for a bit- England, who we can reach easier, and with more of our army still alive after the crossing, or Leon, who cannot effectively counterattack and is currently fighting a whole swarm of angry Muslims?

Also, we got a new marshall. I practically had a heart attack when I saw his character sheet. Let me put it this way- he has the trait Strategic Genius, IIR the name C. You know how I said 15 or so was the best we'd ever see? He's got twenty-three skill. Napoleon would rank in lower. Julius Ceasar would lose to this guy. The best part? He's a teenager. He'll be our Marshall for a looong time. IRELAND. FUCK YEAH.

[OmegaChief]

It's a tough choice, my gut instinct is to go against England though, as we're already there and they can easily reach us, while Leon cannot and is currently distracted.

[doom3607]

Well, we'll see what everyone else says. In any case, since our new marshall is nearly twice as good as our last one and undoubtedly far better than anyone else's, we now stand a far better chance than we did previously.

[FaxModem1]

Make the Irish people happy, burn the British.

[The Vortex Empire]

Let's crush those pathetic English fools. Leon can wait.

[doom3607]

By any chance shall we yell about hamsters and the smell of elderberries? No wait, we're not French. Damn. All right then. Early tommorow, war with England. Thank Q for the reset option.

[doom3607]

THE MEGACAMPAIGN: CRUSADER KINGS: DEUS VULT

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Chapter the Sixth: The First War of Wales

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In July of 1089, Ireland was ready. The King had his army ready and waiting to begin the assult on the last part of Wales he would need, to claim the thone. Ireland declared war on the county in question, and so began the Ireland's first real war against an enemy that simply outclassed it.

By October of that same year, the war was over. The English had immediately flattened the Royal Army, and had marched and taken Laigin. They had emptied the treasury, and the province that was the Irish objective was now held personally by the King of England, removing any easy route of getting it. And just to make matters even worse than they already were, the Duchy of Ulster decided to turn rebel, dividing Ireland against itself once more.

---

[sarcasm]That went well.[/sarcasm]

[OmegaChief]

Because clearly attacking Leon would have gone so much better.

[doom3607]

Leon can't drop sixty thousand troops on us.

[HMS Sophia]

Can we start beating up the muslim's now? People are more tolerant of us doing that...

[Eternal_Freedom]

Bollocks.

Admiral Kursk has nothing further to add at this time.

[Kingmaker]

Are there any crusades we can go on to make ourselves look good?

[doom3607]

Well, we could do that beat-up-Leon-for-a-bit thing. Although it'll take several years to get the cash we need to move our army down to Iberia or Africa again.... And yeah, we could always attack the Muslims in Africa.

[Vanas]

"Sooo, while we're waiting for our guys to respawn we can actually do that diplomacy thing? I don't think these english guys have a kill limit though, so they might not shut down if we poke them again. Oh, hey, let's declare war on Leon, that'll be easy now we've got no money or men!"

Synthesised snickering begins from somewhere in the back of the room.

[HMS Sophia]

"I don't think I like the robot much" Montgomery whispers to the Admiral next too him "Do you think they have any rules on shooting AI's here?"

[Eternal_Freedom]

"To be precise, my good General, the King makes the laws, and we control advise his Majesty. Therefore, we can make anything we wish legal. And since none of these savages have any inkling of what an AI or a robot, making a law allowing for an AI's summary execution is child's play.

Alternatively, we could simply get a priest to declare the robot heretical and summarily burn it at the stake. After all, no one really needs persuading to attack what they do not understand."

[Vanas]

"You'd think that they'd have been all kinda weirded out if they could see me as me, huh?

But, seriously, it's cool. And we're immortal and stuff.

Wait, you're a General? Awesome. A real human general? Did I miss the introductions or what?"

It pauses and extracts a notebook from it's home-made uniform. For some reason it also puts a pair of some glasses on it's metal head, a fair way from it's 'eyes'.

"Lessee... 'Q'... 'humans, real humans', 'his kingness'... Huh. Guess so."

[Eternal_Freedom]

"Yes, you pathetic excuse for a can opener. He is a General, General Montgomery to be precise, and I am an Admiral, Admiral Dimitri Kursk, Fleet Commander of the Order of the Void."