All Drug Olympics

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-03-01 07:06am

I was just watching a rerun of SNL, and in an old Dennis Miller Weekend Update, they have a piece about the fictional "All Drug Olympics," where crazy drug use is not only allowed, but encouraged.

I got to thinking, this isn't such a bad idea. We should see the full potential of the human body by letting total whackos drug up and pull off amazing feats.
I mean, we do that already, but we should come out and admit it, and actively pursue it. I can't really think of any good argument against an All Drug Olympics. Lots of people would die, lots of people would be horribly stunted and mutated, but it would be really cool. And hell, they knew what they were getting in to.

But then, I'm not in favor of protecting people from themselves. I don't think this would fly in the US of A, so maybe they should start it up in some crazy country that doesn't care. And yeah, they probably already do this kind of thing in those kind of places, but I want it to be well documented and publicized.
I looked at the world deadlift record: 901 pounds. Puh-leeze. I'm sure someone totally more drugged up could lift like twice that, and then die right afterwards.
When aliens come and hold some sort of insane wrestling competition for the fate of the universe (and comic books assure me that this will happen), what kind of seeding are we going to get with our current puny un-drugged records? This is ludicrous. By banning drugs in professional competition, we are dulling our intergalactic defenses.

Now I'm going to go to sleep, because it's 4:06 in the AM, and when I wake up, I probably won't agree with this, or even remember it, but right now, it seems like the right thing to be for.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-03-01 10:40am

I had a mental image of a coked-up 70's Eddie Murphy running around the world...

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-03-01 12:27pm

This thread brought to mind one of the biggest ass spankings I've ever seen in 100 meter dash. Ben Johnson (on roids) totally owned Carl Lewis and co at the 1988 Olypics. I think he had a time of 9.79 seconds. Before he failed a drug test Ben Johnson was the shit in sprinting.

Flo Jo, another track athlete that was either a genetic freak or on some serious drugs. Her record times are so ridiculously ahead of what the best atheltes today are coming close to it's not even funny. Was it all worth it since she died at the age of 38?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sport/177433.stm

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-01 01:06pm

Get me stoned and I can eat a sizeable percentage of my own body weight in seafood.....

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-01 03:48pm

Tsyroc wrote:This thread brought to mind one of the biggest ass spankings I've ever seen in 100 meter dash. Ben Johnson (on roids) totally owned Carl Lewis and co at the 1988 Olypics. I think he had a time of 9.79 seconds. Before he failed a drug test Ben Johnson was the shit in sprinting.

Flo Jo, another track athlete that was either a genetic freak or on some serious drugs. Her record times are so ridiculously ahead of what the best atheltes today are coming close to it's not even funny. Was it all worth it since she died at the age of 38?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sport/177433.stm

Since Pierre De Coubertin created the modern olympics every athletes cheated to win,so i think istead of whinning when one of them take steroid or something similar,they should let it go that will make good publicity for the company who made the particular product.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-03-01 03:54pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Get me stoned and I can eat a sizeable percentage of my own body weight in seafood.....

Get someone stoned and they can eat a sizable percentage of their weight in [insert food here]

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-01 07:49pm

I think an eventlike this would also give Bio-Chemists glory, think about it, at the end of a race, he'd go, I'd like to thank my supplier, and the country of Columbia.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-01 07:51pm

I'm against it because I want to see the full ability of the human body naturally. Something that could be achieved without taking something artifical.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-03-01 07:53pm

ArmorPierce wrote:I'm against it because I want to see the full ability of the human body naturally. Something that could be achieved without taking something artifical.

Well we had better banned processed food and exercise equipment then.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-01 07:57pm

Heh, actually, I wouldn't have a real problem with that actually. In fact, I'd rather have it so that people are required to do things in the Olympics naked. Exercise equipment? They would have been able to make weights using pretty much anything. Processed food? Can't you do that over a fire? Basically, I think it would be best if we kept it at what we would be able make 2,000-3,000 years ago, maybe further back.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-03-01 07:58pm

ArmorPierce wrote:Heh, actually, I wouldn't have a real problem with that actually. In fact, I'd rather have it so that people are required to do things in the Olympics naked.

Oh yeah, that would fly real well on national television.

Keep the clothes.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-03-01 08:00pm

'And now back to the fifteen hundred meters for the deaf! They're under starters orders...'

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-01 08:03pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Oh yeah, that would fly real well on national television.

Keep the clothes.

Heh, it's how the Greeks originally did it

.

I want to run naked! I want it to be actually what the human body is suppose to be capable of!

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-03-01 08:08pm

ArmorPierce wrote:Heh, it's how the Greeks originally did it .

I want to run naked! I want it to be actually what the human body is suppose to be capable of!

Trust me, rating will go down down down when (a censored version, even) we see some guys cock flapping in the air as he runs, like a dog sticking its head out of a moving cars window, or something.Icertaintly will turn it off after that. Yuck.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-01 09:03pm

verilon wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Get me stoned and I can eat a sizeable percentage of my own body weight in seafood.....
Get someone stoned and they can eat a sizable percentage of their weight in [insert food here]

You know, I've never gotten the munchies. And it's not like I haven't ever been really stoned before. I've been off prancing through Fucked Up Land plenty of times, but I've never gotten even a little hungry.

Darth Balls · Post by **Darth Balls** » 2003-03-01 09:24pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
ArmorPierce wrote:Heh, it's how the Greeks originally did it .

I want to run naked! I want it to be actually what the human body is suppose to be capable of!
Trust me, rating will go down down down when (a censored version, even) we see some guys cock flapping in the air as he runs, like a dog sticking its head out of a moving cars window, or something.Icertaintly will turn it off after that. Yuck.

Womens Events.

'nuff said

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-01 09:33pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:]Trust me, rating will go down down down when (a censored version, even) we see some guys cock flapping in the air as he runs, like a dog sticking its head out of a moving cars window, or something.Icertaintly will turn it off after that. Yuck.

Watching the NATURAL peak of the human physique, who wouldn't want to watch that

.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-03-01 10:10pm

Great idea! [Guerrero]Cheat to win, essay vato![/Guerrero]

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-03-02 04:31am

ArmorPierce wrote:Heh, actually, I wouldn't have a real problem with that actually. In fact, I'd rather have it so that people are required to do things in the Olympics naked. Exercise equipment? They would have been able to make weights using pretty much anything. Processed food? Can't you do that over a fire? Basically, I think it would be best if we kept it at what we would be able make 2,000-3,000 years ago, maybe further back.

But that's the thing...why do you draw the line at 2-3K years ago? One of our main advantages as humans is our superior intellect. We should be able to fully utilize that. That means making excercise machines, spandex, health food, and crazy-go-nuts drugs. After all, we're natural, so why aren't our tools and products natural? None of this quasi-religious nature reverence for me.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-03-02 09:42am

ArmorPierce wrote: Watching the NATURAL peak of the human physique, who wouldn't want to watch that .

I'd be just like auto racing. People would be waiting for the injuries from...the hurdles, pole vaulting, cycling and diving just to name a few.

Naked women's gymnastics might be okay if all the female competators weren't jail bait age or younger. Women's swimming events might be nice, especially syncronized swimming.

I think the naked olympics would probably kill wrestling and judo for most people (while making it more popular for others).

By the way, when you mean NATURAL does that mean all body hair is to remain in place as well?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-03-02 10:48am

RedImperator wrote:
verilon wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Get me stoned and I can eat a sizeable percentage of my own body weight in seafood.....
Get someone stoned and they can eat a sizable percentage of their weight in [insert food here]
You know, I've never gotten the munchies. And it's not like I haven't ever been really stoned before. I've been off prancing through Fucked Up Land plenty of times, but I've never gotten even a little hungry.

True... The last few times I stoned, I didn't get the munchies. Sometimes people don't. But for the most part, they do.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-02 11:06am

Yes but it would be fake. I won't to be compared to the animals to see how we actually stand up to it, not something that we would never be able to achieve if it weren't for moder society. I don't like all this stuff talking about the fastest human runs at 27 mph. I'd like to see how fast you would run naked, on the grass, with no shoes on. That'll show how we really measure up instead of it being a competition of who could get the best equipment. I run a 4:13 mile, I'd like to see how fast I'd do it naked. I'd l like to see how Hicham El Guerrouj would run a mile naked and without shoes.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-02 11:12am

"This Soviet weight lifter is going to lift 1500 pounds, tripling the current record"

(Weight lifer struggles, and then his arms fall off)

I was thinking that such an idea would glorify the use of performance-enchancing drugs, but that can be averted by taking the steroid-using weight lifters and showing their man-boobs and .25" dick. And besides, the Special Olympics doesnt' glorify being a retard, so an All-Drug Olympics might not glorify drug use if done correctly.

However, I still think that a Naked Olympics would be better.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-03-02 11:20am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:However, I still think that a Naked Olympics would be better.

[drools over the gymnasts]

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-02 11:36am

verilon wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:However, I still think that a Naked Olympics would be better.
[drools over the gymnasts]

But, you gotta feel sorry for the ones with unusally large dicks. When they're running, it will be smacking thier face, for example. And the censors will have trouble trying to keep it blotched out.