Let's play: Buzz Aldrin's Race Into Space

[Simon_Jester]

If anyone wants to do a sanity check on this fine, but basically I'm reluctant to sink the extra 10 MB into a Luna probe launch this season rather than trying to finish the hardware needed for a lunar pass and for getting Lapot ready to fly.

[OmegaChief]

Though the reduced effectivness of the Luna probe is 81%, and only for a single mission, might it be worth trying to launch it without paying the 10 megarubles at all? We've put our faith in worse numbers before after all.

[PeZook]

Oh man, I only just got the shoe joke.

It's hilarious

[Scottish Ninja]

Kapustin Yar Missile Range
Launch Pad 15L
July 3, 1969



"You think it will work, Vasily Pavlovich?"

The representative from the State Planning Committee looked unconvinced. Mishingun gave him a weary glance. "It is not a question of whether or not it will work, comrade. Despite the incredible labors of the computermen, the huge number of rockets in the first stage still seem to have control and interference problems. The purpose of this test is to determine ways in which the carrier rocket can fail and why. Since that directive came down prohibiting the use of rocket test stands, we have been forced to conduct all-up testing where the entire rocket is launched. Even so, in this case the upper stages are boilerplate dummies - the rocket engines for them simply are not ready yet. We have taken the opportunity to practice fueling procedures, however, providing valuable experience for when this program truly gets underway."

"Da, da, I see. Even so, do you really think this is worth the black budget which this has cost? The funds provided under the cover of the Northeast Siberian Field Hockey Association and the Chechnya Multi-Ethnic Brotherly Cooperation League might go to more deserving areas."

"Of course, comrade. It is imperative that Zenobia take the lead in spreading socialism into space. We wouldn't want to have to wait for the Murcans to do it, would we? It might take many decades before their society progresses on its natural course towards socialism - many decades indeed! Any cost we bear is preferable to losing."

"I understand. Is the rocket ready for this test?"

"I believe we will have final confirmation of that momentarily. Comrade, we stand to gain much knowledge from this test, no matter what happens. Almost nothing could be considered a failure. However, in the case that something quite dramatic does happen, I have prepared an appropriate report. Ah, here comes an engineerski with the final pre-launch report. Let us take shelter in the blockhouse over there."

Kapustin Yar blockhouse

The walls here were concrete almost five feet thick, and most of the blockhouse was set deep into the ground. Behind and below Mishingun were the control panels for the huge rocket. Despite the distance to the launch pad and the thickness of the walls, Vasily Pavlovich felt very tense as his eyes stayed locked on the rocket and the engineerski counted down behind him.

Moments passed.



"SHULYATA!" said Deputy Designer Vasily Pavlovich Mishingun.

The Anglian Broadcasting Company
July 5th, 1969

"This is London. The Zenobian news agency TASS reported yesterday that the Zenobian Onion has successfully tested a new conventional thermobaric or "fuel-air" tactical rocket system. The weapon is reportedly comparable in power to a small nuclear bomb..."

[Simon_Jester]

Scottish Ninja, as far as I'm concerned, no N-1 rocket is anywhere near ready for launch tests. Very much a work in progress, metal has not been cut except perhaps for dummy test stages. You should know this. That is our story and we're sticking to it.

But still, hah!

Though the reduced effectivness of the Luna probe is 81%, and only for a single mission, might it be worth trying to launch it without paying the 10 megarubles at all? We've put our faith in worse numbers before after all.

No, Comrade Omeganski, we haven't. When all stages of the landing operation are factored in, the odds of success are 25%. Prestigewise, we barely break even in terms of expected outcome, and expend great resources (18 MB) with a very high probability of accomplishing nothing but placing a 5 MB ding in next year's budget. We also delay Lapot and/or Kicker-B research, which is a serious problem since I'm trying to push those systems to readiness as soon as practical.

[Scottish Ninja]

Scottish Ninja, as far as I'm concerned, no N-1 rocket is anywhere near ready for launch tests. Very much a work in progress, metal has not been cut except perhaps for dummy test stages. You should know this. That is our story and we're sticking to it.

But still, hah!

Indeed not But since we'd be starting off the N1 at 60% reliability, I figured that some things might be underway, especially as the time frame in the video was perfect... nyet, nyet! Is no such thing as N1 rocket. Pure Western speculation and hyperbole.

... does the N1 show up in the Murcan intelligence report?

[fnord]

After all, even the AI (as of 0.4.8) waits until reliability is within 15% of max R&D before flying something.

[PeZook]

... does the N1 show up in the Murcan intelligence report?

The Awesome Superspy Agency reports:



The People's Truthful Bi-Yearly Ideologically Verified Intelligence Report states:



...frankly, I'm not sure if both agencies are underfunded, or just don't give a shit

[FaxModem1]

To be fair, the CIA weren't the ones who discovered the Soviet plans for the spaceplane, they just used the funds for such an effort and claimed the credit. Maybe both sides are more focused on the cold war via getting third world nations to be commie or capitalist.

[OmegaChief]

Not only do the Muricans have a space plane, they have a Jupiter at 97%! This is terrible! (God those reports are so innacurate)

[PeZook]

MISSIONS LAUNCH
HERMES II, NOVEMBER 1969

"In an effort to prove, to the Murcan people and the world, that the space program is indeed viable, and capable of delivering results..."



"...the flight crew of Hermes II is, as of this moment, soaring towards orbit aboard the space shuttle Pioneer. They will accomplish many complicated tasks during their flight..."



"...tasks that are important to science, to the space program, but most importantly, tasks which will deliver the information and expertise necessary to take Man to the Moon, and perhaps one day beyond."

The Congresscritters seemed bored. After grand fanfare and pomp of the Hermes I flight, Hermes II seemed utterly mundane to pretty much everybody. Several congressmen disappeared below their benches, laying down comfortably for a nap away from cameras.



"Amongst other things, the flight plan presents our brave astronauts the following challenges: verification of orbital maneuvering system upon large orbital changes. Verification of docking radar. Crew medical experimentation. Ergonomics and comfort evaluation. Emergency procedure verification..."

The Director's speech continued. It stretched on and on, until all the congressmen got too bored to listen, and then continued some more.



After six hours, Johnny von Braun left Washingtoff, quite satisfied. Because, by threatening to continue his speechifying until it reached truly Zenobian scale, he managed to secure a promise from the terrified representatives. A promise that would save them all.



He has scored a real touchdown. Ja.

[HMS Sophia]

Awesome
So are we back on track? Could the MURCAN's actually be in for a chance of success?

[Eternal_Freedom]

From what I know of BARIS, the game is proof (if any more were needed) that the race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong.

[FaxModem1]

BARIS: where cuisine and long winded speeches are the worst tortures inflicted upon enemies.

[OmegaChief]

And pits full of bears!

[Eternal_Freedom]

Only if you're a degenerate commieninski!

We cultured MURCANS!!!! (fuck yeah) prefer a more rrefined and humane form of torture, speeches and Stenchian cuisine.

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 10: THE CHROME AGE
Time is: Spring 1970

Launch windows: Mercury, Venus




MURCA
TEDDY SPACE CENTER

O! say can you see by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

"THE BRAVE MURCA, FUCK YEAH!", a hundred throats yelled out into the night. Not in unison - the astronauts, technical personnel, administrative officials and scientists were all too drunk to sing in anything that wasn't a mismatched and hoarse alcohol-fuelled chorus.

The Teddy Space Center was celebrating, because Congress, terrified by their Director's threats of speechifying, approved a new budget for 1970. A budget almost as high as the one from before cuts instituted by Lyndon Joanson, that traitor...that Satan Mekratrig...that fucker. That stealing fucker who decided to steal from the rockets to give to the clothed and fed, or something like that.

Who the hell needed schools and housing projects when you could have spaceplanes, anyway?

Only one person did not partake. Barn Est I, a long time veteran of the program and crewmember of the Hermes I flight, quietly left his resignation on the Director's desk. He has had enough of this bullshit. Everybody else could celebrate all they wanted, but he knew better: Zenobians were in the lead, Murca was lagging more and more behind, and the budget could only be maintained with more and more outrageous PR stunts.

That was a recipe for disaster, and so Barn Est I would get the hell out while he was still a hero.

Code: Select all

Current funds: 121 megabucks

Astronauts in XMS-2 program:

Crew I:
OLDS - CAP 3, LM 0, EVA 0, DOCK 3, END 3 ; MOOD: 46 (Pilot)
GORDON - CAP 0, LM 1, EVA 2, DOCK 2, END 3 ; MOOD: 74 (LM Pilot/EVA specialist)
WILLIAMS - CAP 1, LM 3, EVA 1, DOCK 2, END 1 ; MOOD: 79 (Docking specialist)

Crew II:
RAVENSBURG - CAP 3, LM 3, EVA 0, DOCK 0, END 4 ; MOOD: 48 (Pilot) 
COLLINS - CAP 0, LM 3, EVA 4, DOCK 1, END 1 ; MOOD: 99 (LM Pilot/EVA specialist)
BARNESTI - CAP 2, LM 1, EVA 2, DOCK 2, END 4 ; MOOD: 55 (Docking specialist) - will retire next year

Crew III:
BROWN - CAP 4, LM 2, EVA 2, DOCK 1, END 2 ; MOOD: 45
CUNNINGHAM - CAP 1, LM 2, EVA 1, DOCK 0, END 4 ; MOOD: 99
MCCANDLESS - CAP 3, LM 0, EVA 0, DOCK 2, END 2 ; MOOD: 94

Crew IV:
CONRAD - CAP 4, LM 1, EVA 1, DOCK 1, END 3 ; MOOD: 23
ROCKET - CAP 3, LM 0, EVA 2, DOCK 2, END 2 ; MOOD: 84
CHAFFEE - CAP 0, LM 1, EVA 2, DOCK 3, END 2 ; MOOD: 84

Unassigned astronauts:
MAY - CAP 3, LM 2, EVA 2, DOCK 4, END 2 ; MOOD: 76
LOOPY - CAP 4, LM 1, EVA 2, DOCK 3, END 2 ; MOOD: 61
SUITCASE - CAP 3, LM 2, EVA 2, DOCK 4, END 3 ; MOOD: 76
HAISE - CAP 4, LM 3, EVA 0, DOCK 0, END 2 ; MOOD: 71
EISELE - CAP 0, LM 0, EVA 2, DOCK 1, END 3 ; MOOD: 71
SWIGERT - CAP 2, LM 0, EVA 0, DOCK 1, END 1 ; MOOD: 69
ANDERS - CAP 0, LM 2, EVA 2, DOCK 2, END 1 ; MOOD: 66

Other astronauts:
REXMODEM - retired fall 1968
BORMAN - retired fall 1968
KNIGHT - retired fall 1967
FLASHHEART - retired fall 1967
MODEMJR - retired spring 1965
CUNTSER - retired fall 1965
KELLY - retired spring 1965
MCCAIN - retired fall 1963
HARDBEEF -  retired spring 1963
OHJESUS - DECEASED, MERCURY IX
JOHNSON - DECEASED, MERCURY XVI

Programs running: Explorer, Ranger, Mighty Strapons, Atlas, Titan, Mercury, XMS-2, EVA Suits

Launch pads: 3

Scheduled missions: 
Launch Pad A, DESTROYED BY EXPLOSION, 20MB TO FIX
Launch Pad B, None
Launch Pad C, none

***

ZENOBIA
BAIKONUREK

"Comrades of the Zenobian Onion!", Syrgy winced. He was standing right next to the Premier himself, who visited the cosmodrome once more in January. Some genius placed one of the gigantic speakers right behind the Chief Designer's pot, so every time comrade Shroomanski made a booming announcement, Syrgy was blasted with its full force.

"Through a great many feats of Strakhanovite socialist technolabors, and the wise and beneviolent leadership of the Party, the industries and mines of the Onion have managed to provide the space program with a great many gifts! Thanks to competitions in saving resources, grand work of morale officers and the New Zenobian Spirit, the Baikonurek Cosmodrome will be given tools needed to breat the filthy capitalist scum to the punch! Da! I announce fire sale! All hardware 50% off this season!"

Syrgy could barely hear at that point, but he did notice the cosmodrome's crew cheering. But what could that mean?

Code: Select all

Current funds: 122 megarubloids

Cosmonauts in Lapot program:

Crew I:
KLIMUK - CAP 4, LM 0, EVA 2, DOCK 1, END 2 ; MOOD:83 (PILOT)
LEBEDEV - CAP 3, LM 1, EVA 2, DOCK 1, END 3  ; MOOD: 76 (LM PILOT/EVA SPECIALIST)
BRZECZYSZCZ - CAP 3, LM 2, EVA 0, DOCK 3, END 3 ; MOOD: 40 (DOCKING SPECIALIST)

Crew II:
KARZANOVSKI - CAP 4, LM 1, EVA 0, DOCK 0, END 3 ; MOOD: 41
ZHOLOBOV - CAP 1, LM 3, EVA 1, DOCK 1, END 3  ; MOOD: 61
SMIRNOFF - CAP 2, LM 0, EVA 1, DOCK 3, END 2 ; MOOD: 61

Crew III:
IVANCHENKOV - CAP 3, LM 1, EVA 1, DOCK 1, END 3  ; MOOD: 72
LAZAREV - CAP 1, LM 3, EVA 0, DOCK 0, END 2  ; MOOD: 62
RUKAVISHNIKOV - CAP 1, LM 2, EVA 1, DOCK 2, END 3  ; MOOD: 71

Cosmonauts not assigned to programs:

BORISOV - CAP 3, LM 0, EVA 2, DOCK 1, END 1  ; MOOD: 40
FILLYERESKI - CAP 1, LM 1, EVA 1, DOCK 3, END 1  ; MOOD: 67
NEFARTNYI - CAP 2, LM 2, EVA 1, DOCK 3, END 2  ; MOOD: 56
YEBANOVY - CAP 2, LM 3, EVA 0, DOCK 1, END 2  ; MOOD: 67
GRECHKO - CAP 2, LM 1, EVA 0, DOCK 3, END 1  ; MOOD: 79
KOVALYANOK - CAP 2, LM 1, EVA 3, DOCK 1, END 4  ; MOOD: 71
MAKAROV - CAP 0, LM 2, EVA 1, DOCK 3, END 2 ; MOOD: 61

Other cosmonauts:
MAMETOV - joined the Red Army in 1969. 
PETROV - imprisoned for re-education in Spring 1969
FAAABIO  - retired spring 1969
BEREGOVOY - retired spring 1969
YEBANOV - retired spring 1968
ALEXANDROV - washed out in training, fall 1967
DIGADITCH - left to join the Red Army, spring 1967
NIKOV - retired Fall 1966
DOSTAROVASKI - Forcibly retired, Fall 1964
TITOV - Retired Spring 1964
IVANOVICH - Grounded due to lung cancer
VLADIMIRENSKY  - Deceased, training accident
IVANOV - Deceased, VOSTOK VII

Programs running: Sputnik, Cosmos satellite, Lunar Probe,A-Series, Proton, Booster stage, Voskhod, EVA Suits, Docking module, Lapot, Kicker-B

Launch pads: 3

Scheduled missions: 
Launch pad A, Lunar probe flyby
Launch pad B, Lunar probe landing
Launch pad C, Mercury probe flyby

GM Notes:

Yes. While Murcans recovered their budget, Zenobians just got the coveted FIRESALE events.

Any and all hardware they buy this season will be 50% off. Research costs the usual rates, but rockets and their payloads do not. Go wild, guys

ALSO: Both sides can recruit the next group of flyboys, for the low low price of 15 megabucks fo 16 men.

[OmegaChief]

Now might be a good time to buy an N1, if we can do that? Or another Lapot or two, worth investingin some hardware while we have the chance.

[Scottish Ninja]

Looks like Mishingun's little stunt made an impression on the State Planning Committee after all

Now how not ready is that N1, eh comrades?

Note that we now get half off on startup costs for programs too. This is basically the best event we could ever get at a pretty good time, so I highly recommend buying as much as we can, even if that means delaying research, since it will save us so much over the next couple of years.

We can start N1 for 42 MB and extras for 9 and Duet for 17 or 18 (I think it rounds down, so probably 17), with extras for 4. We can also buy R-7s for a whopping 1 MB.

We should also grab another Lapot for 15 - or even two, for a high rate of flying, since we probably could just do suborbitals to improve reliability - we don't have to go farther and faster to get the safety improvements. We can justify that as developing a suborbital point-to-point transportation system.

[PeZook]

Oh, yeah. Costs to start program are ALSO cut in half.

EDIT: And yeah, it rounds down.

[FaxModem1]

Geez, even when the Murcan side sees a light at the end of the tunnel, it turns out to be the express train for the Zenobians.

If new Murcans get hired, a Mr. Notmodem will join the ranks.

[OmegaChief]

If the cost to start up programs is also halved we really, really, really should start up the N1 now, we won't get a better budget chance then this, even if we do just leave it in a hanger collecting dust for now.

[Simon_Jester]

Glad to see this. Will take it in tonight and put together a budget post tomorrow, after my tour of Murca's famous Chair Force Museum, featuring such legendary aircraft as the XBOX-70 Valkylieminogue.

[Dave]

And in a semi-related note:
This weekend I learned that my grandfather met all the Mercury 7 astronauts when he was auditing the Mercury program. (!)
He was with the Government Accountability Office, trying to find out why the price of some of the contracts had jumped from $20k to $120k. (miniaturization)

I also learned that the original window design for the Mercury was to be a round porthole (the better to withstand pressure on it) but the astronauts wanted a rectangular window so they could fly the ship. The astronauts back then had "real pull" and the design was changed, at the cost of ~$80k.

[ChaserGrey]

Oh, hey. No idea why I wasn't getting email updates about this thread, but good to see things have been moving along. Murcans need to start docking their asses off (the many, many jokes that can be made from that phrase are my gift to you all), and thinking about how they're going to get their recon groove back.

Since Barnesti quit, let's take the other two 'nauts from his crew and see if they can be made into a compatible crew with one of the spares. Maybe they're not all totally antisocial. Maybe.

Hmmm. Could we actually, maybe, pull this shit off? Film at 11.