My Little Warhammer: Friendship is Heresy

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2011-08-16 11:22pm

There has always been a part of me that has been of two minds on Celestia.
She is "supposed" to be essentially a creator "god", controlling the sun, moon, and all aspects of a planet
However we see little to know examples of her power demonstrated in any onscreen evidence. When there is trouble she has a habit of using young inexperienced ponies to help.
Thusly there are two options:

One: She is not as powerful as she claims, and rules through a mix of fear and respect, using others to do what she may not be able to.
Two: She IS a powerful as she is supposed to be, and runs the planet of Equestria as a mere plaything to amuse herself.

This fic supports option number two, which has always been my personal favorite option. The very idea that the happy carefree world of Equestria could exist within the same universe as GRIMDARK WH40k, where dark corruptive forces seek to spread chaos to every world, every being, where no place is left untouched by war or death; if this is indeed the case and the world of ponies is still an Eden in such a universe, it means that Celestia may truly be "that" powerful, and above all else simply wish to be left alone.

Fantastic stuff mr.Soup, do continue.

Purple · Post by **Purple** » 2011-08-17 08:18am

evilsoup, you my man are the definition of genius. You answer questions that I newer thought to asks in ways that I can not begin to imagine.

Ave Equestria

Zixinus · Post by **Zixinus** » 2011-08-18 06:03pm

I donnu. I sort of think that she sort of descended to their level.
Unlike some here, I never quite imagined Celestia as an actually all-powerful ruler that is underneath a massive asshole. More like a mother-figure.

Still though, anything that smacks the Imperium around for the sake of how big of an asshole they can be.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2011-08-18 07:58pm

Or, like the rest of the Gods, she is limited to working through minions with only occasional Avatars like she did on the ship.

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2011-08-18 10:47pm

LadyTevar wrote:Or, like the rest of the Gods, she is limited to working through minions with only occasional Avatars like she did on the ship.

Agreed, one of the main traits of 'most' Gods in Fiction is that, while being "All Powerful" they tend to employ others to do their work.

However I will agree with something Zixinus, that of Celestia being "Motherly"
With the popularity of "Trollestia" it is hard not to fall into of the Meme of seeing her as an 'asshole' or out to dick around with others. but from everything in the show (the highest form of Canon after all) We have only ever seen her as truly caring, heartfelt and protective. As many know the old saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" Well the only thing more frightening then a woman scorned, is a Mother scorned.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2011-08-18 10:54pm

I have a question that's been bugging me for a while.

How are you going to have the ponies react to the sheer level of violence and brutality present in 40k-style warfare? Everything i've seen of the show seems to indicate that the ponies lifestyle can only be described as idyllic. Yes, there is some violence shown, but it's always of the "loony toons" comedic variety. To the best of my knowledge (Which is admittedly rather limited) the show doesn't present a single drop of blood. How are the ponies going to react when their friends get their heads exploded by bolters, or gutted like fish with chainswords? These are events that they shouldn't be mentally prepared to handle.

evilsoup · Post by **evilsoup** » 2011-08-19 05:08am

Wait. Did Celestia come across as an dick? That certainly wasn't my intention. First, you have to bear in mind that she was willing to banish her own sister to the moon for a thousand years to protect the rest of the ponies; I don't think trying to intimidate a bunch of space-assholes who are coming to her world with the explicit intention of genociding her people is either out-of-character or particularly dickish. 'Descending to their level' would be killing the crew, taking the ship and slaughtering a couple of planets worth of humans; whereas she healed a member of the crew and told a colonel to stop being such a raging asshole to his regiment.

Darksider wrote:I have a question that's been bugging me for a while.

How are you going to have the ponies react to the sheer level of violence and brutality present in 40k-style warfare? Everything i've seen of the show seems to indicate that the ponies lifestyle can only be described as idyllic. Yes, there is some violence shown, but it's always of the "loony toons" comedic variety. To the best of my knowledge (Which is admittedly rather limited) the show doesn't present a single drop of blood. How are the ponies going to react when their friends get their heads exploded by bolters, or gutted like fish with chainswords? These are events that they shouldn't be mentally prepared to handle.

You'll just have to wait and see

lordofchange13 · Post by **lordofchange13** » 2011-08-19 10:18am

this may be unimportant but: how does the magic the pony's use work? is it warp based for some sort of sufficiently advanced tech that they don't understand? Also as far as have ever been shown the pony's have no weapons besides perhaps knives (or any industrial tech what so ever), im really interested how they will fight of humans with weapons that blow you to tiny chucks with a few hits. I really liked the part about one of the IG soldiers wanting to rape a horse(will be funny when the inquisitor splodes his head for conferring with a alien).

Grimnosh · Post by **Grimnosh** » 2011-08-20 10:16am

lordofchange13 wrote:this may be unimportant but: how does the magic the pony's use work? is it warp based for some sort of sufficiently advanced tech that they don't understand? Also as far as have ever been shown the pony's have no weapons besides perhaps knives (or any industrial tech what so ever), im really interested how they will fight of humans with weapons that blow you to tiny chucks with a few hits. I really liked the part about one of the IG soldiers wanting to rape a horse(will be funny when the inquisitor splodes his head for conferring with a alien).

Well you have to remember a couple of things.
#1 While they do not have weapons, some of them can move increadbly fast and also have the strength of a pony while some are stronger. While its not as strong as a horse a pony's kick will still hurt like hell and can cause a decent bit of trauma.

#2 The magic the ponies use can be based in many ways (warp based, granted by Celestria like a priest's prayer, toad sacrifices, or similar to wizards/magicusers from D&D, whatever), but in general it seems to avoid most offensive types according to the show. However Twilight was practicing teleporting rocks which was supposed to be advanced magic. The advanced magic that they have could also include more offensive spells (fireballs, lightning, thermal nuclear explosions, ect), and the application of nonoffensive magics can be used to stop attackers by say teleporting thier weapons to a difffrent location.... such as suborbital space for example, where it'll provide a nice skyshow with a lemon russ main battle tank and an accompining a scattering of lasguns and heavy bolters as they burn up on reentery.

#3 The soldier that was suggesting horserape wasn't Imperial Guard but a Penal Legionarre. He's in the legion until he dies for crimes against the Imperium and as such doesn't get ANY of the benifits that IG would normally get such as decent health care should he get wounded, bad food, and absolutely no form of leave or vacation. This means that once he's in there, he isn't going to get any form of sex EXCEPT while in the field (Commissars get rather [understatement] unpleasent [/understatement] at anything that could cause dissention in the ranks and being a shower bitch (or using one) would most definatly qualify as such). As such it could have been years sense he last had a piece of ass and as such wouldn't be picky about what or where he could get some... or he could come from an agri-world where beastiallity isn't quite so uncommon and as such is less repulsive to him then others.

#4 The Inquisitor currently has more important things to deal with right now then a soldier with sex issues.

evilsoup · Post by **evilsoup** » 2011-08-20 04:24pm

lordofchange13 wrote:Questions

Again, you'll just have to wait and see.

Grimnosh wrote: #3 The soldier that was suggesting horserape wasn't Imperial Guard but a Penal Legionarre. He's in the legion until he dies for crimes against the Imperium and as such doesn't get ANY of the benifits that IG would normally get such as decent health care should he get wounded, bad food, and absolutely no form of leave or vacation. This means that once he's in there, he isn't going to get any form of sex EXCEPT while in the field (Commissars get rather [understatement] unpleasent [/understatement] at anything that could cause dissention in the ranks and being a shower bitch (or using one) would most definatly qualify as such). As such it could have been years sense he last had a piece of ass and as such wouldn't be picky about what or where he could get some... or he could come from an agri-world where beastiallity isn't quite so uncommon and as such is less repulsive to him then others.

I can see why you would think it, but I don't intend for the 9th Akarak to be 'penal legion' in the proper sense of the word; rather, the government of Akarak decides to fulfil their tithe to the Imperium by emptying their prisons. Why would the Imperium accept such clearly inferior troops? Well, this is why they are called the 'Demoralisers': when a world is rebelling too often, units like the Akarak will be sent in to demoralise the civilian population.

You are right about their being much less prison-rape than one would expect from such a situation: it is standard Akarak procedure to deny any of their prisoner-soldiers any kind of sexual release, so that they will be properly frustrated on arrival. That is also the reason (apart from human psychology) for the over-the-top abuse of the officers towards their soldiers: to alienate their soldiers from humanity and break down any remaining psychological barriers to violence towards human civilians (as opposed to soldiers or aliens that most of the IG are willing to fight).

The good Inquisitor left to destroy the ponies in rather a hurry, and took whatever forces he could get (which also handily explains the lack of commissars amongst the ranks - the regiment was not at the stage of deployment when commissars would be attached by the Departmento Munitorum); based on the information gained from his investigations, the only thing really special about the ponies is their ability to befriend anyone (which he interprets as psychic domination), and so even a low-quality regiment like the 9th Akarak should be able to do a lot of damage.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2011-08-20 07:31pm

so let me get this straight. The Imperium is about to turn a bunch of sex-starved criminal lunatics who've been constantly beaten down loose on the ponies, with little or no commissariat oversight?

Yeesh. This is gonna be messy, although the lack of commissars is really going to bite them in the ass when the inevitable revolt comes

(I'm assuming that that's how you plan on resolving the plot, as there is literally nothing the ponies have that can stand up to a proper guard regiment.)

Also, what is the loadout of the guard troops here? Since they're essentially penal legionnaires, I assume they don't have much in the way of armor or artillery.

lordofchange13 · Post by **lordofchange13** » 2011-08-21 01:13am

A question i really want answered: does there unicorn magic have offensive spells? and do the ponies have any real capability of forming a resistance(like a militia,don't think Celestia has an army) to the invading human scum? On a lesser note is there any possibility to weaponizing pinky pies physics breaking ability;would be really badass to have imperial soldiers defeated from a hoping air head.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2011-08-21 01:27am

LadyTevar wrote:Or, like the rest of the Gods, she is limited to working through minions with only occasional Avatars like she did on the ship.

Equestria is a remarkable well organised country which runs itself at almost every level without the direct intervention of the local sun-goddess. Besides for making the orbital mechanics 'work', there really isn't much call for Celestia to interfere with the daily activities of Ponyville. Even the more exceptional events are easily handled by the locals.

There is always the option she is training up the holders of the Elements of Harmony, and interfering defeats the entire point.

Grimnosh · Post by **Grimnosh** » 2011-08-21 10:09am

evilsoup wrote:
Grimnosh wrote: #3 The soldier that was suggesting horserape wasn't Imperial Guard but a Penal Legionarre. He's in the legion until he dies for crimes against the Imperium and as such doesn't get ANY of the benifits that IG would normally get such as decent health care should he get wounded, bad food, and absolutely no form of leave or vacation. This means that once he's in there, he isn't going to get any form of sex EXCEPT while in the field (Commissars get rather [understatement] unpleasent [/understatement] at anything that could cause dissention in the ranks and being a shower bitch (or using one) would most definatly qualify as such). As such it could have been years sense he last had a piece of ass and as such wouldn't be picky about what or where he could get some... or he could come from an agri-world where beastiallity isn't quite so uncommon and as such is less repulsive to him then others.
I can see why you would think it, but I don't intend for the 9th Akarak to be 'penal legion' in the proper sense of the word; rather, the government of Akarak decides to fulfil their tithe to the Imperium by emptying their prisons. Why would the Imperium accept such clearly inferior troops? Well, this is why they are called the 'Demoralisers': when a world is rebelling too often, units like the Akarak will be sent in to demoralise the civilian population.

You are right about their being much less prison-rape than one would expect from such a situation: it is standard Akarak procedure to deny any of their prisoner-soldiers any kind of sexual release, so that they will be properly frustrated on arrival. That is also the reason (apart from human psychology) for the over-the-top abuse of the officers towards their soldiers: to alienate their soldiers from humanity and break down any remaining psychological barriers to violence towards human civilians (as opposed to soldiers or aliens that most of the IG are willing to fight).

It should be noted that a lot of planets in the Imperium (such as Necromunda, Stranivar, and Lubiyanka among many other hive and/or forge worlds) to empty thier prisons for use by the Imperial Guard and Imperial Navy as penal legions and untrained ship ratings where they are used to provide cannon fodder (guard) and brute muscle as ship crew (navy). Usually this is done during war efforts in response to attacks (such as a Black Crusade or Hive Fleet incursion) but can also be done to support Imperial efforts to claim new worlds for the Imperium.

Over all the Akarak legions are not unique among the rest of the penal legions as sexual relations among the prisoners is very bad for disipline and as such is suppressed by thier handlers, but I will admit that most penal legions are usually sent to places where they are used for meatgrinder campainges against the enemies of the Imperium instead of rebelling worlds. Usually rebelling worlds are just reconqured, thier leaders executed, and recieve a (very) heavy occupation force (often one or more of the regiments that retook it) with a large detacthment from the Adeptus Arbites to maintain the peace. It also isn't unusual for an Inquisitor (or more then one) to take some time to go undercover and snoop around looking for hersey and other signs of trouble, perticularly if the world has a history of repeated successful rebellions. If the Arbites and PDF are doing thier job and keep slapping the revolutionaries down then the Inquisition will usually not spend much time there. However the Inquisition has been know to make exceptions from time to time.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2011-08-25 03:34am

lordofchange13 wrote:(or any industrial tech what so ever),

They can build high rise buildings and railway lines, despite the bizzare way they run their trains. At the very least they must have mid to late 1800s industrial technology somewhere. The mere existence of these things implies that they must have mastered comparatively sophisticated metal casting.

They also have a modest amount of electricity, though no mass media they have been demonstrated using grammaphones and loudspeakers. Given the lack of sockets, this implies that they have batteries, and therefore battery factories somewhere.

lordofchange13 wrote:do the ponies have any real capability of forming a resistance(like a militia,don't think Celestia has an army)

She has some guards. Quite how many there are is unknown.

lordofchange13 · Post by **lordofchange13** » 2011-08-26 06:00pm

NecronLord wrote:
lordofchange13 wrote:
lordofchange13 wrote:do the ponies have any real capability of forming a resistance(like a militia,don't think Celestia has an army)
She has some guards. Quite how many there are is unknown.

the guards aren't shown to have weapons, and there usually not unicorns so they cant have magic.

Hawkwings · Post by **Hawkwings** » 2011-08-27 12:48am

Considering 4 earth ponies can pull a train at high speed while bodychecking buffalo twice their size, who says they need weapons?

dworkin · Post by **dworkin** » 2011-08-27 05:17pm

evilsoup wrote:"You do not know what I am, little man! If you did you would turn this ship around, and run back to your home, and hide in your bed, and pray to your corpse of a god that I do not come to seek revenge for the murder of my friend!"

Well, that says a lot. Whether Celestia knows it or not that is a stock phrase of the ruinous powers and their little playmates.

evilsoup · Post by **evilsoup** » 2011-08-27 06:52pm

Not really. Chaos would be more along the lines of 'run home and pray that I do not follow you and rape your eyesockets and eat your soul'. Chaos wouldn't care about avenging a friend, though I suppose a daemon might resent the loss of a particularly amusing plaything.

PhilosopherOfSorts · Post by **PhilosopherOfSorts** » 2011-08-27 11:16pm

I think he meant the "corpse of a god" part.

Night_stalker · Post by **Night_stalker** » 2011-08-27 11:26pm

Which is not going to really make any Imperial just turn around, I mean, COME ON!

You just insulted their God, that usually doesn't bode well with fanatics...

dworkin · Post by **dworkin** » 2011-08-29 08:59pm

I don't think it will make them run away. It will just confirm for their little grimdark minds what they're facing.

Grimnosh · Post by **Grimnosh** » 2011-08-30 04:46am

dworkin wrote:I don't think it will make them run away. It will just confirm for their little grimdark minds what they're facing.

Well when the techpriest comfirms that what Celestia told them about that universe (and that she caused it to happen) I think they WILL be scared out of thier grimdark minds... because it would seem that they just entered an area of space that she can change at will.... in short a place in the Eye of Terror, where the Warp merges with real space. The place where no Emperor fearing human ever wants to be.

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2011-08-30 10:08am

Really? Because usually when shit like this happens the Imperial options for dealing with it range from "Send in an Eversor or two and giggle at the stains their leave on the carpet" to "Deathwatch Kill Team" to "Fuck it, we didn't need that planet anyway. Exterminatus time!" Really, all I think lil' miss pony britches managed to accomplish was get the Inquisition's attention, and that's never a good thing.

Grimnosh · Post by **Grimnosh** » 2011-08-31 11:30am

Mr. Coffee wrote:Really? Because usually when shit like this happens the Imperial options for dealing with it range from "Send in an Eversor or two and giggle at the stains their leave on the carpet" to "Deathwatch Kill Team" to "Fuck it, we didn't need that planet anyway. Exterminatus time!" Really, all I think lil' miss pony britches managed to accomplish was get the Inquisition's attention, and that's never a good thing.

An Eversor needs to know what its target looks like, plus finding her could be "tricky" at best. Also the matter of getting a ship in to the planet to drop the assassin off might be probmatic as well.

A Deathwatch team would be too outnumbered and outpowered to work.

Exterminatus..... as many worlds in the Eye (and similar places) are largely unnaffected by viral bombs and similar due to the time/space/reality bending mechanics of the place it has never been done as its just not a good thing to give the powers of the Warp ideas. The last thing you want them to do is start "experimenting" with a Warp based Exterminatus effect on Cadia.....

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