Let's Play: BERF CERTIFICATING IT UP

[MKSheppard]

"Well, I need something with enough punch to take down large animals but isn't too big or bulky. A large-calibre handgun should do nicely, unless of course you can suggest a better weapon."

"Oh, so you want a Desert Eagle. We have both calibers, .357 Mag and .50AE."

[OOC: he is trying to sell you an overpriced piece of shit handgun with a significant NERDCRED markup]

[Eternal_Freedom]

"Now that's tempting, but I get the feeling I'd be paying for the brand. What else you got in that kind of calibre and power?"

[MKSheppard]

"How about the Smith and Wesson Model 29? It's .44 Mag, but you did say you were looking for power in your calibre."

[OOC -- Dirty Harry's gun. Again markup land. He's a good little capitalist]

[Shroom Man 777]

FEELIPINO AGENT and COMPANY arrives at the LIBRARY

He finds the LIBRARIAN and begins the INTERROGATION

"Have you seen this boy?" FEELIPINO AGENT holds up a picture of one of the FUCKERS who SHOT HIM.

"N-no" the LIBRARIAN replies

FEELIPINO AGENT growls.

He HURLS the LIBRARIAN to the floor. LIBRARIAN SCREAMS in HORRER.

A HUEG BOOKSHELF CRUSHES HIS BODY, up to his TORSO

The SICK sound of RIBS CRACKING can be HEARD

FEELIPINO AGENT'S AUDIENCE WINCES

"WHERE DID THESE TWO FUCKERS GO?!" FEELIPINO AGENT SNARLS.

[PeZook]

POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT is FREAKED OUT by the sudden OUTBURST of VIOLENCE.

POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT takes a GLANCE at the EXIT, as if he was ABOUT to make a RUN for IT.

[FaxModem1]

APRON WEARING STUDENT looks at the weapon. "Can we get something a bit less showy?"

[Eternal_Freedom]

"Ostentatious isn't it? What else you got?"

[Shroom Man 777]

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT," the FEELIPINO AGENT SNARLS at the POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT. "UNLESS YOU WANT A SWIRLY."

His FACE EXHIBITS several NEUROTIC TICS

He LEANS OVER to the CRUSHED LIBRARIAN and LISTENS to the MAN'S LAST BREATHS

FEELIPINO AGENT RISES

"They are heading for the gun store."

[MKSheppard]

"You're busting my balls here, mangs" whines the gun salesman.

"How about a Glock 19 in 9mm? Or would you prefer something in a more AMERICAN caliber, like this Springfield Armory .45 Government?"

[MKSheppard]

[OOC Shroom -- man, the entire POINT of Feelipino agent is that he's a smooth actor, not a maniac like JANITOR. I can use some of the roughing up, but it'll be less JACK BAUER]

[Eternal_Freedom]

"Springfield Armoury .45, tempting. Very tempting."

[Shroom Man 777]

[OOC Shroom -- man, the entire POINT of Feelipino agent is that he's a smooth actor, not a maniac like JANITOR. I can use some of the roughing up, but it'll be less JACK BAUER]

He's starting to degenerate!

Hey, his very first entry is fucking up a couple of cops. So I thought he was prone to violence.

[MKSheppard]

He's starting to degenerate!

Hey, his very first entry is fucking up a couple of cops. So I thought he was prone to violence.

Point. I'll find a suitably shroomy way to pick on someone

[MKSheppard]

"Ok, Since you seem to want the GOVERNMENT .45; we can fill out the PAPERWORK", says the GUN STORE OWNER.

He WHIPS out a form which is full of strange WORDS

[The Yosemite Bear]

In an effort to PROVE GRAVITY (or disprove it) THE CAT knocks BIG REFRENCE BOOK off the highest shelf in THE LIBRARY. THE CAT watches to see how many f/sec the BIG REFRENCE BOOK falls, and calculates how many NEWTON FORCEZ it hits the skull of VICTIM

[MKSheppard]

The LARGE GOVERNMENT SUBURBAN pulls into the parking lot of a LIBRARY.

Getting out of the vehicle, FEELIPINO AGENT grabs POLISH STUDENT and drags him in with him for some reason. The others are left in the DOOMTILITY VEHICLE.

Before they can MOVE A MUSCLE, there is a NOISE from the Passenger Seat.

LARGE IRRITABLE DOG is STARING AT THEM from the PASSENGER SEAT.

HUNGARIAN STUDENT makes a MOVE FOR THE DOOR, resulting in LARGE IRRITABLE DOG ALMOST BITING THE OFFENDING HAND OFF.

*SNARL WARF WOOF*



YOU ARE FEELIPINO AGENT AND POLISH STUDENT. YOU ARE IN A LIBRARY. IN FRONT OF YOU IS A RECEPTION DESK where a PARALYZED LIBRARIAN is sitting in a WHEELCHAIR.

"Have you seen this boy?" says FEELIPINO AGENT, holding up a picture of one of the FUCKERS who SHOT HIM.

"Nope."

A nervous TWITCH begins on FEELIPINO AGENT's face.

"YOU LIE!"

With that, he HURLS the PARALYZED LIBRARIAN out of his WHEELCHAIR and onto the FLOOR.

PARALYZED LIBRARIAN SCREAMS IN HORRER as FEELIPINO AGENT begins to BEAT HIM.

"WHERE DID THOSE TWO FUCKERS GO?" he screams, spittle flying from his lips.

Off to the side, POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT is FREAKED OUT by the sudden OUTBURST of VIOLENCE and takes a GLANCE at the EXIT, as if he was ABOUT to make a RUN for IT.

"Don't even THINK ABOUT IT," FEELIPINO AGENT snarls in between punches onto PARALYZED LIBRARIAN's FACE.

"They were uncommonly interested in the phonebooks!" squeals PARALYZED LIBRARIAN.

"Stop hurting me, PLEASE!"

FEELIPINO AGENT STOPS the punching and kicking and hurting and STANDS UP. He is BREATHING HEAVILY, and his FACE EXHIBITS several NEUROTIC TICS.

Walking over to the PHONEBOOKS, FEELIPINO AGENT runs his hands over them until he notices the telltale disturbances left behind by a diseased mind. Opening it, he flips through it, noticing the RIPPED OUT PAGES.

Checking with the other books, he DEDUCES that the TORN OUT PAGES had something to do with GUN STORES.

Reaching up to his EARPIECE, he speaks with the FRONT OFFICE.

"They're headed for gun stores."

FEELIPINO AGENT then strides back towards DOOMTILITY VEHICLE, motioning for POLISH STUDENT to FOLLOW HIM.

[The Yosemite Bear]

{ooc] THE CAT is a heroic sociopet. FOR SCIENZE

[PeZook]

POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT SUBMITS to VIOLENT AUTHORITY, though he is virtually CERTAIN he will REGRET this. However, he is too MEEK to SAY ANYTHING, choosing instead to SHIVER UNCONTROLLABLY.

OOC: I love question k on that form.

[Eternal_Freedom]

ENGLISH STUDENT QUICKLy FILLS OUT the FORM, describing HIMSELF as his MURCAN ALTER-EGO, BUD SANCHEZ.

With the FORMS FILLED, he ASKS:

"So, how much is it for this puppy and, say, four spare magazines and five hundred rounds?"

[Scottish Ninja]

QUIET STUDENT is getting BORED.

QUIET STUDENT looks up the NEWS on his PHONE.