David Cameron Descends Into Self-Parody

[Zaune]

The Guardian

David Cameron calls for Britain 'to show some fight'

In his speech to the Conservative party conference, the prime minister said that there was 'too much sogginess around'

David Cameron has urged Britain to shun "can't-do sogginess" and instead lead itself from recession by tapping into Britain's indomitable bulldog spirit.

Speaking against a chilling backdrop of ever gloomier economic news, on the day that new official figures showed Britain's economy had flatlined over the past nine months, he sought to lift the country's mood by saying: "Let's show the world some fight", adding: "We can turn this ship around."

Closing the Conservative conference in Manchester, the prime minister said: "Frankly there's too much can't-do sogginess around. We need a sharp, focused, can-do country" that would form the basis of a new economy built on fairness.

In a patriotic speech suffused with one nation rhetoric and promises to tear down educational "apartheid" in Britain, he repeatedly hailed the country's historic capacity to recover from reverses, such as the loss of empire, the threat of communism or economic decline in the 1970s.

"Britain never had the biggest population, the largest land mass, the richest resources – but we had the spirit," he said. "Remember it is not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Overcoming challenge, confounding the sceptics, reinventing ourselves, this is what we do." He said: "It's called leadership," a phrase that occurred 17 times in his speech.

The attempt to offer optimism, as well as a portrait of a Tory purpose that goes wider than deficit reduction, ran the risk of appearing out of touch with the depth of economic crisis. Cameron fervently argued that Britain should not be paralysed by gloom and fear, saying it was "possible to turn this time of challenge into a time of opportunity".

His officials privately admitted it had been a difficult speech to pitch with Cameron only 18 months into government, the crisis in the euro overshadowing all else, and the need to balance optimism with realism. Cameron also had to tweak the speech at the last minute after an earlier draft appeared to instruct the entire country to pay back their credit card debts, a move that some calculated would shrink GDP by 15% at a stroke.

Despite a string of right-of-centre policy announcements during the week, the prime minister was firmly camped on the compassionate centre ground, defending the international aid budget, offering more help with parenting and legalising gay marriage as "a way of strengthening the ties that bind us". He declared: "I don't support gay marriage despite being a Conservative. I support gay marriage because I am a Conservative."

He also promised a new focus on getting very young children out of state care by allowing black children to be adopted by white families. "We've got people flying round the world to adopt babies while the care system at home agonises about placing black children with white families."

He also defended the way in which he had distributed the pain in the spending cuts, claiming controversially: "This is a one nation deficit reduction programme – from a one nation party." Similarly, he promised that the new economy he was in the process of building would be a different economy, built on solid ground and working for everyone.

But he offered little fresh detail on how growth was to be achieved, apart from the familiar litany of deregulation, controlling debt, tax breaks for enterprise and a determination to push through planning changes to give industry the space to grow.

Ministers are increasingly confident that the argument over planning reform is being won, with Cameron angrily telling his implacable critics: "Take your arguments down the jobcentre. We've got to get Britain back to work."

In probably the strongest section of his speech, he claimed "something massive" was already under way in schools as standards and aspiration rose. "Rigour back in learning. Standards back in schools. Teachers back into control. Yes, the Conservatives are back in government."

An old Etonian, he demanded private schools take greater responsibility by starting or sponsoring more academies: "The apartheid between our private and state schools is one of the biggest wasted opportunities in our country today, so let it be this party that helps tear it down."

To some of his loudest applause he said: "Believe me, I do understand and I am disgusted by the idea that we should aim for any less for a child from a poor background than a rich one. I have contempt for the notion that we should accept narrower horizons for a black child than a white one. Yes, it is the age-old irony of the liberal left: they practise oppression and call it equality." Without mentioning Ed Miliband, he accused Labour of giving Britain a casino economy and welfare society.

He said the government's deficit reduction programme was "just one big bail out of the last Labour government". Labour was "on a sort of national apology tour", he said, adding: "There has not been a peep on the one thing they really need to say sorry for – wasting billions and billions of your money."

Miliband, preparing to reshuffle his shadow cabinet, was struck by the number of themes he set out in his speech last week, including attacks on personal irresponsibility and vested interests, that reoccurred in Cameron's.

But Cameron also offered a stronger defence of liberal interventionism than Miliband by defending the British leadership role in Libya: "This is a party – ours is a country – that never walks on by. Earlier this year some people said to me: 'Libya's not our concern', 'don't start what you can't finish', and even – 'Arabs don't do democracy'.

"But if we had stood aside this spring, people in Benghazi would have been massacred. And don't let anyone say this wasn't in our national interest … let's be proud of the part we played in giving the Libyan people the chance to take back their country."

I can't bring myself to even watch the accompanying video. Honestly, the man couldn't sound like more of a pompous, condescending twerp if he tried!

[Count Chocula]

Well Obama did the whole AFY We Shall Overcome bit in his stumps for the jobs bill here in the States, so if you're disgusted at Cameron you may as well barf in your mouth for 99% of all politicians. Bush did it before him, and so did Clinton, and GHW Bush, and Reagan etc. I'm sure Maggie Thatcher had a few England Fuck Yeah! speeches.

[Eframepilot]

I kind of pity him. Unlike the U.S., Britain doesn't even have the option of massive deficit-financed stimulus to drive the economy forward; even the Labour party's plans call for a lesser degree of cutbacks. Their only choice is to keep the proverbial stiff upper lip and hope for the best, though it's a message that makes for ridiculous speeches.

[Glimmervoid]

Cameron’s speech was funny, but I think the WTF highlight so far has to be Theresa ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ May. For those who don’t know May was using her speak to play to the crowd and bash the Human Rights Act and the European Convention of Human Rights (particularly Article 8, which guaranties the right to family life).

One particular anecdote was the following, “We all know the stories... about the illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because, and I am not making this up, he had a pet cat."

Of course this wasn’t true. With minutes of her saying this, a spokesman for the Judicial Office issued a statement denying anything of the sort (and that the Home Office already knew this). Later in that very conference Ken Clarke offered May a ‘small bet with her that no one has ever been refused deportation on the grounds of ownership of a cat.’ Or, in non-political speak, ‘stop being such a blithering idiot.’

The truth is, the case May is refereeing to involved a man who was allowed to say because he was in a long term committed relationship with a British woman (as the Home Office’s rules allow). The Home Office ignored its own rules, tried to deport the man and he appealed. The judges, rightly, said that since he was in a long term committed relationship, the Home Office had to follow its own rules and let him stay. The cat was one piece of a wealth of evidence he submitted to prove he was in such a relationship.

Of course, Cameron seems to have come down on May’s side (somehow) but for people with more than two brain cells to rub together, it does raise a question: Is May incompetent or a liar, and which would we prefer to be Home Secretory?

[Hillary]

Cameron’s speech was funny, but I think the WTF highlight so far has to be Theresa ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ May. For those who don’t know May was using her speak to play to the crowd and bash the Human Rights Act and the European Convention of Human Rights (particularly Article 8, which guaranties the right to family life).

One particular anecdote was the following, “We all know the stories... about the illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because, and I am not making this up, he had a pet cat."

Of course this wasn’t true. With minutes of her saying this, a spokesman for the Judicial Office issued a statement denying anything of the sort (and that the Home Office already knew this). Later in that very conference Ken Clarke offered May a ‘small bet with her that no one has ever been refused deportation on the grounds of ownership of a cat.’ Or, in non-political speak, ‘stop being such a blithering idiot.’

The truth is, the case May is refereeing to involved a man who was allowed to say because he was in a long term committed relationship with a British woman (as the Home Office’s rules allow). The Home Office ignored its own rules, tried to deport the man and he appealed. The judges, rightly, said that since he was in a long term committed relationship, the Home Office had to follow its own rules and let him stay. The cat was one piece of a wealth of evidence he submitted to prove he was in such a relationship.

Of course, Cameron seems to have come down on May’s side (somehow) but for people with more than two brain cells to rub together, it does raise a question: Is May incompetent or a liar, and which would we prefer to be Home Secretory?

It will not change anything at all. Politics has nothing to do with truth and everything to do with presentation. Most Tory voters have the same opinion of the Human Rights Act as Theresa May. They will have lapped up the cat story, despite its lack of reality. They WANT it to be true, so will simply say (as Cameron did) "See, the judge mentioned the cat, so she WASN'T lying". Even if the case had never even existed, it wouldn't have been an issue. "Well it's the sort of thing that does happen" would be the response.

Of course, anyone with two brain cells to run together will know that most ministers are fairly incompetent and all are liars (they have to be in order to do their job).

[Zaune]

Oh, yes, the whole cat thing. I'd almost forgotten about that; it didn't really register because it's the same kind of blatant lies and distortions the Mail and the Express put out about "ethnics" all the bloody time. And now it seems the Home Secretary has decided to save them the effort of making the stuff up for publication...

Can we officially declare them Godwin;s Law-exempt yet? The Tories, I mean, not the tabloids.

[ComradeClaus]

Heh...I guess he forgot how much America helped the UK in the past, w/ vast sums of money & resources.

How will he handle UK being bailed out by Germany? Since they hold the EU pursestrings. A Nationalist demagogue bloated on past glory must be sickened st the idea. Of course, I'm sure they'll insist on the UK replacing the shilling w/ the Euro first, before they pay.

[Hillary]

Heh...I guess he forgot how much America helped the UK in the past, w/ vast sums of money & resources.

How will he handle UK being bailed out by Germany? Since they hold the EU pursestrings. A Nationalist demagogue bloated on past glory must be sickened st the idea. Of course, I'm sure they'll insist on the UK replacing the shilling w/ the Euro first, before they pay.

1) There is no prospect of the UK having to be bailed out by the EU.

2) The UK currency is the pound, not the shilling.

3) Why would the EU want a failed economy to join the Euro anyway?

4) Your title is appropriate.

[ComradeClaus]

^No prospect? The economic picture seems kinda grim.

Why would they not? They threw enough money at the crooks in Greece. (Germany has to be one of the most oblivious lenders in history)

I know, it's just that 'pound' is such an absurd way to name a currency, they should embrace the sweet Euro conformism.

I got the title (as well as losing my avatar & signature for having broken a rule, not being stupid in general)

I generally post from a humoUrist POV.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Then you might try getting a better sense of humour. The EU bailed out Greece because they were totally in the shitter, a place Britain ia a long way from at present.

And to be technical, our currency is "Pounds Sterling." And if you think that choosing a different, joint currency over the basis of a name then you're a fucking idiot.

And as ridiculous as Cameron has become of late, I still prefer him to the previous Labour lot.

[Alkaloid]

No prospect? The economic picture seems kinda grim.

Frankly, the US is more likely to go down the crapper than the UK at the moment because as absurd as the politics are, there is actual work being done to try and stop things getting worse and no one inside the country actively trying to stop it. It requires a lot of stupidity, hard work and massive mistakes in decision making to tank a countries economy to the point that it needs bail outs al la Greece.

[Thanas]

I got the title (as well as losing my avatar & signature for having broken a rule, not being stupid in general)

You have earned it both for being stupid in general and for breaking a rule.