Ok, I have to share this story (warning: it's a fart story)

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 01:14am

Because of my dieting, mostly because of the steamed broccoli, I often get gas. Anyone who knows about steamed broccoli also knows that it causes some really foul smelling farts so...

I was in the store today buying some shoes. I was squatting down to grab a pair when I could not help but to let one gol. It was pretty bad. At about that time, a mother came walking next to me with her young child. She sniffed the air and said, "Oh my god, Jesse! I have to get that diaper off of you!" She checked his diaper, realized it was not him and then glanced at me. By this time my face was bright red so she knew I did it.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-05 01:18am

ROTFLMAO!!!

I too have a lot of steamed brocolli, it's no fun for the people who live with me.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-03-05 01:22am

Gandalf wrote:ROTFLMAO!!!

I too have a lot of steamed brocolli, it's no fun for the people who live with me.

Brocolli! The accursed foul and would becounquers of the universe! *Immeaditely begins digging a foxhole*

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 01:25am

Artichoke is pretty bad too!

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-03-05 01:28am

I'll take your for it. I'm afterall not a Vegan vegetable conquering eating Hippie.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 01:30am

Hey, I eat lots of turkey, fish, chicken and beef! I am an omnivore too!

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-03-05 01:31am

Yay. Support random anmals by eating them!

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-05 01:32am

hehe.

She didn't necessarily know that it was you...

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 01:33am

Well, my face looking like this --->

was sort of a give away. I should have made a quick getaway while she checked his diaper.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-03-05 01:35am

That must have sucked for you! Wait, how loud was it?

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-03-05 01:37am

Darth Yoshi wrote: That must have sucked for you! Wait, how loud was it?

THe ones that are quiet are usually and will provide no warning. Those scare people.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 01:38am

It was not so much loud as it was hot and smelly. When you warm up the room temperature by about 10 degrees, you know you're in trouble.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-03-05 01:42am

Dude, you should have just gone 'Yo, at least I eat my veggies mommy.

'

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-05 01:44am

Over the years I've learned to hide that it was me, I usually just stare at some random person who isn't looking back.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 02:31am

Can I have a custom title? Maybe, "He who farts broccoli?"

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-05 02:51am

That would be cool.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 02:57am

Thanks for you support, gandalf!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-05 03:06am

Superman wrote:Thanks for you support, gandalf!

It's what I do

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2003-03-05 03:13am

You know, it amazes me to no fucking end how I can be utterly alone in a store aisle or outside, I check to see that the coast is clear, then let loose the Dogs of War-

and EVERY DAMED TIME, someone makes a beeline for my position!

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-03-05 01:11pm

Superman wrote:Well, my face looking like this ---> was sort of a give away. I should have made a quick getaway while she checked his diaper.

You have to learn the ways of the Fart Game. When I worked at Circuit City we still had a counter where customers could pick up the product from the warehouse. We had a game, where one of us would let out a silent fart and not laugh, smile, or anything. Just walk away. When customers would smell it they often looked at the other customer behind them in line. It took practice though.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-03-05 01:21pm

Damn, I remember when I let one rip on the line in the Borders near my house. No one could tell who it was, and you could see everyone was trying their hardest not to gag. Best part was, not one person looked at me

Falkenhorst · Post by **Falkenhorst** » 2003-03-05 02:48pm

One time I was at work and I blew a nasty one and didn't say anything, just kept working like normal, and the Cashier thought it was these 2 hot girls that did it, ahahhahahahhaah.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-03-05 03:06pm

I remember eating some really nasty three bean soup and then going to best buy to get Warcraft 3. There was a large group of girls nearby checking out CD's and I felt a nasty one coming on (not to mention there was no way around) so i made a beeline directly through the group but one of them had just picked up a CD and was walking twards the cashier. She blocked my path for a split second but it was long enough for me to let out the nastiest fart i have ever smelled. One of the girls said "do you smell that?" and they turned in my direction. Fortunetly no one was looking at me when i let out the fart so I jumped over the CD rack and ducked down i then started crawling twards the WC3 display, got up, grabbed a copy and got the hell out of there as fast as i could

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-05 03:11pm

Once at school I walked up next to some girl studying in the library. I farted next to her head. She looked at me, I looked at her and then I walked away.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-03-05 03:49pm

Accidentally farted in a girl's face in elementary school as I got up to go to the bathroom. Came back to find everyone looking at me