Dom/Sub stuff

Sektor31 · Post by **Sektor31** » 2003-03-04 11:29pm

You ever been one of these? Or are still one of them? If so, why or why not? What makes this stuff so...pleasurable?

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-03-05 12:15am

Well, this is a new one. I'm not even sure I'm the right one to answer this, but I have somewhat distantly related experience...

My most recent girlfriend Hiroko and I had this type of relationship, but not as a lifestyle type of thing. She was a very dominant girl at times. I, on the other hand, am not submissive. But...

Strangely enough, I found that on the nights where I wasn't totally on my game and Hiroko did manage to get me into a position where she could acquire my acquiescence to something I didn't really want to do, these situations were accompanied by the feeling of a burden being lifted from me. During these rare occasions, if I didn't perform at my best, it wasn't my fault, because it wasn't my idea.

There was also a feeling of relief in general, resulting from not being in control of all aspects of my environment and the events occurring within it. Don't get the wrong impression -- I don't like being in control of things... that's just the position in which I customarily find myself. I just have this weird effect on people. So when Hiroko would assert control, especially if she was looking for something I wasn't initially interested in, it was exciting. I could be free to just experience what was going on without having to orchestrate or direct it in any way, and yet I was still surrounded by the familiarity of home. It allowed me to feel both unconstrained and secure at the same time. Eventually, it became part of the routine for her to demand something of me -- not necessarily even sexual in nature -- and for me to resist until she left me no choice but to comply.

So as you can see, I'm not a Sub, and yet in some ways I suppose I am. I might be a new category -- a Defiant, someone who enjoys it when the other party has control, but who will not relinquish control to the other party until it has been taken.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-03-05 12:40am

subbie bottom with rare dommie top urges. :p

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-05 01:41am

Sektor31 wrote:You ever been one of these? Or are still one of them? If so, why or why not? What makes this stuff so...pleasurable?

Why not ask yourself why the things that turn you on turn you on?
I can only wonder at myself sometimes, if I had a clue as to what makes me tick, I'd let you know...

Icehawk · Post by **Icehawk** » 2003-03-05 01:43am

Forgive me for asking but, What the heck is "Dom/sub stuff?"

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-05 01:47am

Icehawk wrote:Forgive me for asking but, What the heck is "Dom/sub stuff?"

Dominant/Submissive sex play, as in S&M.

Icehawk · Post by **Icehawk** » 2003-03-05 01:53am

Ahhhhh I see.

Im unfortunatly still a virging but I have fantasized about being dominant and also being dominated before allthough its not really one of my main fantasies. I can't explain the reason for pleasure behind it though.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-05 02:01am

Icehawk wrote:Ahhhhh I see. Im unfortunatly still a virging but I have fantasized about being dominant and also being dominated before allthough its not really one of my main fantasies. I can't explain the reason for pleasure behind it though.

That's the thing about sexual fetishes, you can describe WHAT turns you on, but when it comes to WHY, I'm left floundering.
It's like trying to describe emotions, words are very poor tools for conveying them.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-03-05 07:44am

Last time I checked Sokar is the resident expert.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-03-05 11:07am

NecronLord wrote:Last time I checked Sokar is the resident expert.

I thought RayCav was the resident S&M expert.... or was the just the resident pervert??

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-03-05 12:34pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
NecronLord wrote:Last time I checked Sokar is the resident expert.
I thought RayCav was the resident S&M expert.... or was the just the resident pervert??

Yes, RayCav was the resident Sadomasicism expert. We're talking about Domination/submission, which lays more with the bondage and discipline part of BDSM.

oh hell.... I just proved I know a bit too much about this. Oops.

Tom_Aurum · Post by **Tom_Aurum** » 2003-03-05 01:32pm

Personally, I think it a minor symptom of the Neo-Victorian society that we live in. Simply put, all stresses, agressions, what-have-you are released during sex and the subjects feel the need to show themselves at their base level. Unfortunately, the "lifestyle" types are the ones that wind up showing the symptoms of Victorianism the most. In short they're stuck up and annoy the shit out of me.

I've found that the main sort of this play that I enjoy doesn't need all of the complicated equipment or what not, just a thorough knowledge of what I know of as "pulse points". Kind of the opposite of pressure points, with a receptive subject usually winds them up in a heap on the floor twitching with a smile.

P.S.
Kitsune eh? All I'm remembering is the Kitsune legend I overheard from part of Ran. Creepy, creepy woman out for blood.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-03-05 07:20pm

Tom_Aurum wrote: P.S.
Kitsune eh? All I'm remembering is the Kitsune legend I overheard from part of Ran. Creepy, creepy woman out for blood.

Who says I'm not out for blood?

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-03-05 08:01pm

I do. Fun perhaps, but blood doesn't really seem to suit you.

As for the question on hand: no; n/a; n/a; n/a.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-03-05 09:20pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:
NecronLord wrote:Last time I checked Sokar is the resident expert.
I thought RayCav was the resident S&M expert.... or was the just the resident pervert??
Yes, RayCav was the resident Sadomasicism expert. We're talking about Domination/submission, which lays more with the bondage and discipline part of BDSM.

What RayCav fancied was for off the end of Sadism. Most people involved in S&M aren't messed up like him. Most are into spanking and other relatively light forms of S&M rather than carving people up.

Tom_Aurum · Post by **Tom_Aurum** » 2003-03-06 05:04am

Ah yes. Genius and insanity. What a lovely pair they do make. One of the good things about Birds of Prey. Harle E. Quinne is the hero's psychotherapist.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-03-06 02:48pm

Really it depends what sex i'm with whether i'm Dom or Sub. When i'm with a woman i prefer her on top taking total control but when i'm with a fella I want to be in control doing the riding. But i'm not like this all the time. Some times it's just pure sexy to give and take in the same session.

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-03-07 01:54am

NecronLord wrote:Last time I checked Sokar is the resident expert.

Well now, thats the first time Ive been called that...

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-03-07 02:06am

Sektor31 wrote:You ever been one of these? Or are still one of them? If so, why or why not? What makes this stuff so...pleasurable?

As to you question I am a Dom, in a male/female relationship(she's also my wife

) I've been into/discovered D/s sinceI was about 17 when I had a most memorable experience with a female friend in HS. As to what makes it pleasureable, why does steak taste good , or why are fluffy clouds pretty are the same kind of question. Its all a mater of wiring and taste, and it is intensly personal as well. For me, when I'm in scene, its a euphoric, it really is better than just hum drum average sex(as good as that may be, lets be honest there is no such thing as a bad orgasam

) and the orgasms last for what seems like an hour, for both of us. I think it all revolvess on the level of trust and comittment that is implicit in this type of relationship that takes it to that next higher level.

Thats how it works for me , for others it may be very diffrent, other couples we know lead very diffrent lifestyles than we do , but are still part of the D/s community.

Any other questions? I'll try to answer as long as I don't have to get to terribly personal

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-03-07 03:13am

Sektor31 wrote:You ever been one of these? Or are still one of them? If so, why or why not? What makes this stuff so...pleasurable?

Bleh, I've never gotten it.
Oh well, it's a fetish no one can understand.

Sektor31 · Post by **Sektor31** » 2003-03-07 06:27pm

Sokar wrote:As to what makes it pleasureable, why does steak taste good , or why are fluffy clouds pretty are the same kind of question. Its all a mater of wiring and taste, and it is intensly personal as well.

Well, yeah, given that you're a Dom, what exactly does D&S involve? Sources have told me things like bondage (ropes, chains, padlocks, handcuffs, etc.) and "torture" (plugs, whips, etc.).

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-03-07 11:17pm

Sektor31 wrote:Well, yeah, given that you're a Dom, what exactly does D&S involve? Sources have told me things like bondage (ropes, chains, padlocks, handcuffs, etc.) and "torture" (plugs, whips, etc.).

In its purest sense D/s is what it says, Dominance and Submission. One partner turns over a fair portion fo their fate and will to another. This can range into both the realm of the sexual and the mundane. Submissives subsume their will eiether for a limited time frame(say only while 'in scene') or 24/7, which is by far the most difficult and potentially fulfilling type of D/s relationship. The Submissive follows the rules and expectations of their dominant, if they fail , or deviate from thoes expectations then there are consequences, this does not always mean spanking or pain, but is more often a denial of other previledges. Only if the offence is bad enough, or it has been repeated despite prior correction, then it can move into physical consequences. A Dominant though has the more difficult aspect of the relationship, your responsible for another human being in a very literal, at times, sense of the word.

Also, pain is not necessarialy a part of the D/s experience, although some couples use it as a form of punishmet for the transgressions of a submissive, and others move ito a combination of D/s and the S&M side of things. Some submissives are into pain and are maschoists as well as submissives. A Warning anyone who uses 'submissive' and 'torture' in the same sentence , you should be VERY wary of as they may be less than savory in their motives, or badly uninformed. Its a sad fact that for ever one of us who are committed to the tenent of Safe, Sane and Consensual, there are a dozen D/s, BDSM posers who can be VERY dangerous. Bondage is fairly common , as being willing to be bound is a major sign of your trust in your dominant, and can be quite exciting sexually for both participants. The entire lifestyle is a varied spectrum of personal tastes and fantasies and ther is no set requirement for enterance into it. [/i]

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-03-08 12:48am

Kelly Antilles wrote:
Tom_Aurum wrote: P.S.
Kitsune eh? All I'm remembering is the Kitsune legend I overheard from part of Ran. Creepy, creepy woman out for blood.
Who says I'm not out for blood?

Out for blood, huh? Me, I get delivery. Hmm. No. Bad joke. So, Kelly, when are you going to get around to trying to tame this outlaw journalist?

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Dom/Sub stuff

Dom/Sub stuff

Re: Dom/Sub stuff

Re: Dom/Sub stuff

Re: Dom/Sub stuff

Re: Dom/Sub stuff

Re: Dom/Sub stuff