South African Poacher Gets Air-Jawsed

[Alyrium Denryle]

BWAHAHAHAHA!

By Stewart Maclean 11:47AM BST 25 Sep 2010
Khanyisile Momoza, 29, was attacked as he harvested valuable perlemoen shells in the waters near Gansbaai in South Africa.
The fisherman was among a group of 12 poachers who had tried to swim to safety after spotting the shark in shallow waters.
A friend of Mr Momoza, who witnessed the attack, said: "There was screaming and crying. We just swam, we didn't look back.
"We were swimming in a group but he was a bit behind us.
"It jumped out of the water with him and then it took him down."

The attack took place on Tuesday between Dyer Island and Pearly Beach, east of Cape Town.
In an interview with the Weekend Argus local newspaper, the victim's friend told how the poaching group had left the beach at 6am and swum for two hours before reaching the island three miles offshore, where they began hunting for perlemoen shellfish.
The men were swimming back to shore with their catch when the great white approached.
The survivors admitted they had been too scared for their own lives to help the stricken swimmer and raced back to dry land.
Once ashore the group alerted authorities to the tragedy.
Illegal harvesting of perlemoen is big business in South Africa, where the valuable shellfish are common along coastal areas.
The molluscs' fleshy insides are considered a delicacy similar to oysters, and either served raw or cooked in seafood dishes.
But widespread farming of the shells has sparked fears the population could plummet.
In 2007 South African authorities listed the species, also known as abalone, as endangered with the global wildlife protection body CITES.
The restrictions were loosened in July this year, although it remains illegal to harvest perlemeon without a licence.
However hundreds of local fishermen are believed to continue to work in the illegal trade.
Many poor workers risk arrest or injury to hunt for the wild shells, whose meat can be worth up to £25 a kilo.
The shark attack victim's friend told the Argus his group went perlemoen fishing around once a week and needed the money to provide food for their families.
Gans Bay, known in Afrikaans as Gansbaai, is famously the centre of South Africa's great white shark population.
In recent years some experts have warned the increase in commercial "shark dive tourism" has encouraged great whites to inhabit shallower waters.
Every day hundreds of tourists pay to experience a close encounter with the creatures, which are enticed with food to come close to boats.
Some fear the sharks are now commonly inhabiting waters where humans are more likely to be swimming or working.
The poacher is the second person this year to be killed by a shark in South Africa.
In January tourist Lloyd Skinner was killed by a great white as he swam a few metres off the beach in Fish Hoek near Cape Town.
Shocked holiday-makers watched from the shore as the 47-year-old was pulled underwater.
Rescuers later searched for the Zimbabwean's body but found only his goggles.

It is sad that these fishermen have to poach to make ends meet, but god damn it illegal fishing is one of the reasons that the oceans world wide are in collapse... a rather big one, actually. Even large corporations falsify their catch counts. So, I have a little sympathy, but this was going to happen eventually, and frankly... they swam two miles in water full of great white sharks, up at the surface looking like fucking seals. What the fuck did they think was going to happen? This guy is no more a victim than a person who cuts their arm off when horseplaying around a god damn band-saw.

[Flagg]

Well he clearly deserved to die a horrible death.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Well he clearly deserved to die a horrible death.

For stupidity of that magnitude? Yes. And I would say the same thing about myself if I ever get taken by an alligator because I decided to hang out at the water's edge with a screaming hatchling. I should put that in my advance directive, actually.

Swimming over open fucking water in South Africa day in and day out in areas populated by seal colonies, looking and acting like a very stupid seal should qualify people for the god damn darwin awards if they had not reproduced already. There should be a specific section just for people who do stupid shit like that.

[Shroom Man 777]

Well, I think it's pretty fucking horrible that someone got eaten by a fucking shark. There's nothing really funny about a person being ripped to pieces by hundreds of serrated teeth threshing him about like a rag doll. Oh no he harvested some abalones and stupidly swam in a dangerous shark-infested area, and so he died. Yay?

[SAMAS]

I love the mountains
I love the clear blue skies
I love big bridges
I love when Great Whites fly...

[Shroom Man 777]

And when people die?

Uh, okay. Cool. Koombayaya. I guess.

[VarrusTheEthical]

I'm sure that in hindsight, Mr. Momoza will have learned a valuable lesson about illegal fishing. He may even look back at that event and laugh about it...if he hadn't been eaten by a GODDAMN SHARK!

[Alyrium Denryle]

Well, I think it's pretty fucking horrible that someone got eaten by a fucking shark. There's nothing really funny about a person being ripped to pieces by hundreds of serrated teeth threshing him about like a rag doll. Oh no he harvested some abalones and stupidly swam in a dangerous shark-infested area, and so he died. Yay?

Not yay!. Just gallows humor. HAH! is more appropriate.

Is it sad the guy died? Sure.

Was it horrifically painful? Probably not, actually. He got hit at thirty miles an hour by an animal that weighs at least a ton or two, has a bite force of 2000 psi and rows of razor sharp teeth. Gruesome yes. Painful no. If he was not killed on impact, he would have gone into shock, his brain awash in adrenaline and endorphins, and he would have exhanguinated within seconds from trauma to every blood organ, and huge lacerations to... most major artieries.

What is funny, is that he died because of his own stupidity. Oh no! Woe is he! He did something manifestly risky (and illegal/wrong, even if perhaps mitigated by the fact that S.A. has really gone to economic and political hell) without even taking the simple precaution of using a boat. In effect, he decided to play Discovery Channel Roulette, and lost.

[Flagg]

ITT we learn that AD is a fucking reprehensible piece of shit of a human being.

[Darth Wong]

And when people die?

Uh, okay. Cool. Koombayaya. I guess.

Oh please, it's commonplace to laugh at people who get killed due to their own stupidity. Spike TV even has an entire show which is dedicated to this particular form of recreation, called "1,000 Ways To Die". The Darwin Awards are based on it. What's with the high-and-mighty act all of a sudden?

Why is it hilarious when some idiot tries to break into a building and ends up accidentally hanging himself on the wiring in the ceiling, but disgusting if somebody laughs at a poacher being eaten by a shark?

[madd0ct0r]

ITT we learn that AD is a fucking reprehensible piece of shit of a human being.

Today I learned a Great White is quite a fast way to go. And swimming with them is silly.

[Flagg]

ITT we learn that AD is a fucking reprehensible piece of shit of a human being.

Today I learned a Great White is quite a fast way to go. And swimming with them is silly.

Well clearly doing something stupid in an effort to provide for your family is cause for horrible death. And Great Whites tend to attack their prey with one bite, then let them bleed to death before going in and eating them. Maybe this poor bastard got "lucky" and never knew what hit him. Still not funny.

[Darth Wong]

ITT we learn that AD is a fucking reprehensible piece of shit of a human being.

Today I learned a Great White is quite a fast way to go. And swimming with them is silly.

Well clearly doing something stupid in an effort to provide for your family is cause for horrible death. And Great Whites tend to attack their prey with one bite, then let them bleed to death before going in and eating them. Maybe this poor bastard got "lucky" and never knew what hit him. Still not funny.

So why is it funny when it's some American guy on the Darwin Awards?

[Flagg]

Today I learned a Great White is quite a fast way to go. And swimming with them is silly.

Well clearly doing something stupid in an effort to provide for your family is cause for horrible death. And Great Whites tend to attack their prey with one bite, then let them bleed to death before going in and eating them. Maybe this poor bastard got "lucky" and never knew what hit him. Still not funny.

So why is it funny when it's some American guy on the Darwin Awards?

Usually because there is some kind of pointless stupidity or greed attached, as opposed to someone doing something admittedly dumb while trying to provide a meager living for themselves. If this had been a bullfighter gored to death for example it would be morbidly funny due to the cruelty of bullfighting. I mean why is this case funny, but a 10 year old getting his arm bitten off by a bullshark in known shark waters not?

[Zinegata]

So why is it funny when it's some American guy on the Darwin Awards?

Probably because he can't use the American guy on the Darwin Awards to take cheap shots on people he doesn't like so he can look tough and cool to his peers?

[madd0ct0r]

ITT we learn that AD is a fucking reprehensible piece of shit of a human being.

Today I learned a Great White is quite a fast way to go. And swimming with them is silly.

Well clearly doing something stupid in an effort to provide for your family is cause for horrible death.

If I met a guy who bet his house on the roulette to try and provide for his family I'd punch him.
Same here.

Stupidly risking yourself (possibly the main money earner) is such an amazingly obviously stupid manner is not doing your wife, children or other dependents any favours.

[The Romulan Republic]

Nobody deserves to die, let alone die such a horrific death, just because they made a mistake or did something illegal. This death is a tragedy, and I don't find it funny or feel he deserved it.

And yeah, Wong, I feel the same way about the Darwin Awards and the dumbass Spike show.

[Alyrium Denryle]

ITT we learn that AD is a fucking reprehensible piece of shit of a human being.

Oh please. That I have a well developed sense of schadenfreude is nothing new on this board. A board I remind you, that is dedicated to the mockery of morons.

Well clearly doing something stupid in an effort to provide for your family is cause for horrible death.

Yes. I laugh as surfers who get their legs bitten off too. If someone dies in a freak industrial accident when proper precautions are taken, that is sad. When someone dies in the commission of a crime because they were incompetent, it is funny. What is hard about this to grasp? Or what about that guy who got drunk and decided to rape a raccoon? Was this not amusing? What the hell is the difference? This guy could have protected himself in a number of cheap cheap ways. Rowing out on inflatable rafts would probably have been enough, and those are cheap. But no. They went swimming.

And Great Whites tend to attack their prey with one bite, then let them bleed to death before going in and eating them.

Yes and no. There are two attack types. Bite and bleed, and the geographically unique "burst out of the water and hit the prey item with enough force to catapult the shark completely out of the water with prey in its jaws" attack, which is what happened to this guy. Death from this is near instant from raw trauma.

Usually because there is some kind of pointless stupidity or greed attached, as opposed to someone doing something admittedly dumb while trying to provide a meager living for themselves

And there are basic precautions that could have been taken that were not. Again. Discovery Channel Roulette. One can safely swim with Whites if they do it right. They dont attack at the bottom, and they will typically leave you alone if you dont look like a god damn seal. A stick will ward one off if it gets too curious.

Instead, these guys went to the surface, swam on the surface, panicked so they looked and sounded like an injured or distressed group of seals, and stayed on said surface. Going too and from a dive site with an inflatable dingy would have saved them a lot of hassle. Moreover, it is not like ignorance of where they were, what they were dealing with, and how to avoid it is a reasonable claim. They live in areas known to have great whites, they know what great whites like to chew on (it is not like they dont have PSAs in S.A. They do) and a bit of basic logic and some pooled resources would mitigate a lot of the risk.

Instead, they sit there and think "That only happens to other people" and WHAM. Food for the shark and some gulls.

I mean why is this case funny, but a 10 year old getting his arm bitten off by a bullshark in known shark waters not?

Because a ten year old does not know any better, and they can attack in a place that a reasonable person does not expect shark attack (fresh water). Most people are blissfully ignorant of the number of close encounters they have with small to medium sharks whenever they go swimming in the ocean. Attacks happen sometime, and they are no one's fault. Those really are random.

You have to fucking try to get hit by a white, because they are so specialized with regard to their prey. You have to be in cold deep water lounging about at the surface like a god damn retard... and you do not go into those waters without knowing great whites are around, because where they live is well publicized. In the same way that no one goes to a place with crocodiles around having no god damn clue. Such people do not exist unless they are children.

Fucking stupidity. I applaud those who play Discovery Channel Roulette and never lose... but I will sure as hell laugh my ass off when someone does lose.

And yeah, Wong, I feel the same way about the Darwin Awards and the dumbass Spike show.

Well Romulan, at least you are consistent.

[Alkaloid]

Frankly, this isn't that stupid. If they went out and a guy was taken every two or three days, sure, dumb job, but given that this seems to be the first time it has happened in a long while, I don't see how it's more dangerous than being a fire fighter or a policeman.

[The Romulan Republic]

Yeah, there is that as well. Aren't shark attacks really rare?

[Shroom Man 777]

What's with the high-and-mighty act all of a sudden?

Why is it hilarious when some idiot tries to break into a building and ends up accidentally hanging himself on the wiring in the ceiling, but disgusting if somebody laughs at a poacher being eaten by a shark?

I don't know. Because death is a lousy thing? (And maybe I'm feeling dry and fun-less at the moment)

I guess, yeah, you really can't help laughing at someone who dies by bleeding to death because he tried to stick a high pressure hose in his butt for the lulz and ended up getting his colon exploded, or something all Darwinian Awardy and bizarre or stupid. But when you think about it, or try to visualize that corpse with a disintegrated colon hanging out between his butt cheeks lying on a pool of blood and feces, or a shark-masticated corpse washing ashore on a beach, or a body hanging from the ceiling, that's not really funny.

I know it reeks of high and mighty moralizing sensitive BS, and I'm sure I've gone all "haha" when hearing similar Darwin Awards-like stories all the time. Yeah, gallows humor. Breasts bleeding and all that. But thinking about it right now, there's something off with the idea of TV shows full of (okay, stupid) human beings getting messed up in all sorts of ways, and audience guys sipping pepsi and just chuckling at the montage of maimings, dismemberments and deaths.

Eh. Maybe later when someone else posts another equally absurd story of some guy getting messed up in all sorts of dumb ways, or when I also post also story like that, I'll also join in on the laughing at the absurdity and morbidity. Maybe I'm just having a "hey wait a sec..." moment of contemplation. I'm not pretending to be some FCC family values morality paragon, cause yeah, I can and do totally laugh and go "oh my god that's so wrong holy shit" at this kind of stuff too.

People should do psychological researches on the nature of schadenfreude, the how and the why and so on.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Yeah, there is that as well. Aren't shark attacks really rare?

On a per capita basis, yes. If you consider the entire population of swimmers... but this is not like that.

Surfers, given enough time, are very likely to get tagged by a great white in the right waters. Same with abalone divers and the like. They put themselves in the situation, basically ringing the dinner bell. Abalone divers however, at least usually take the precaution of using a fucking boat to get from dive spot to dive spot instead of swimming too and from a bloody island like the shark's favorite food. They minimize their exposure time. These guys did no such thing.

Crocodile attacks are really rare too, if you consider the entire population of northern australia... but when you restrict your sampling pool to people who fish from beaches in rivers heavily populated by crocodiles, or people who go swimming in billabongs at night, the probability increases substantially.

Also: firefighters and such use safety equipment. See above.

[Alkaloid]

It's not safe, sure. But looking at that article, it looks like two people were attacked in the bay over a year long period. Even if there were only 100 people in the water on any given day (a very conservative estimate) thats still only a 1 in 50 chance of getting hit a year if he dives every day. Now, those aren't odds I'd want to play, especially not long term, but if I were a starving south african with no other employment prospects it might look a little more appealing. Don't confuse this with support for poachers though, all I'm saying is that this isn't that stupid an action, and not anywhere near as funny as a fat white guy in khakis being eaten by a lion he was trying to shoot.

[weemadando]

AD, would you feel the same way if a snake was just trying to eke out a living so it could nest and lay some eggs and then BAM someone kills it because it turns out that the snake is in that persons yard?

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=151017

Maybe the shark should have invested in a set of human tongs so it could remove the human without any harm coming to either party?

[Shroom Man 777]

Would that be a South Texan Rattlesnake Gets Ground-Chardoked BWAHAHAHA?