Let's Play: Das Thanasboot!

[Skywalker_T-65]

Yeah but it isn't in America! That being said, I've never even been tempted...so I don't have to worry about Galley duty *shudders*

[Simon_Jester]

I've been trying to keep this in mind- nothing I write is based on an expectation of privacy.

Side note:

Huber actually joined the submarine corps because he considers the chance of survival higher than in any other obvious course of action open to him. No, he is not 100% insane. Yes, he (and I) are well aware of the appalling attrition rate the U-boats experienced. He can't really explain, it would get political.

[Chardok]

Look. Just pretend its mass lightening and compression. In my mind, The u1313 was a prototype boot withdimensioal pockets. he mess is huuuge.

[PeZook]

But having all the lunatics and deformed creepers live and eat and work and sleep right on top of each other is way more hilarious!

[FaxModem1]

And don't worry, Skywalker probably would probably be one of the ones making the stew, not becoming part of it.

[Simon_Jester]

So, who has the bunk directly above/below/across the aisle from der Koch?

[Skywalker_T-65]

*shudders* VERY glad that I'm not on galley duty. Man I'm happy I picked Weapons Officer (and more importantly at the moment...sober WO).

[PeZook]

6

Position BE63
Smell level: moderately low
Sept 13, 1943
01:07 local time

The conference was short and to the point this time - Der Kommandant Thanas was very pleased that his officers were beginning to show some other qualities except for utter terror of offending him. Not the terror was all bad, but a good submariner needed something more than discipline.

"Hang on...west is that way. So intercept uh...here?"

"You are right, herr von Doofenberg.", der Kommandant nodded to himself and turned to the chief engineer, "All ahead flank to intercept, chief!'

"Jawohl! All ahead flank to intercept! Come to course 300!"

The night watch crew suddenly came alive. Not two days ago they were just about ready to die, but today one could see the true submariner's spirit. They were going hunting! Gloury awaited them, gloury or death in battle, which was also glourious!

With some sweating and grunting, von Doofenberg has managed to calculate the estimated time to intercept - eight hours and twenty minutes. As the diesels ramped up and U-1313 went to course, the crew in forward compartments began to service the torpedoes and check loading equipment. Leutnant Skywalker dug back into his book, still unaware the Torpedo Primer was, in fact, a joke publication compiled by the bootsmen as a prank to play on inexperienced offizieren.

This was interrupted by an incident with a Schnaps bottle, which prompted the Kommandant to task stabsbootsman von Dokken (that strange recluse with a thing for whales) to initiate a full confiscation of all alcohol on board. It took two hours for the bootsmen to search every bunk, every locker, every nook and cranny and even von Evilstein's cage stuffed between the side of the pressure hull and torpedo tube 2 - and the amount of recovered alcohol truly worried the Kommandant. It was absurd, an impossible quantity that was hard to believe possible to smuggle aboard.

The Kommandant's dilligent and thorough examination of the confiscated booze was interrupted by funksmaat Ritterbachen, calling from behind the curtain.

"Herr Kommandant! Herr Kommandant!", he shouted, "Another report from the same scout airplane! There's a task group in the area!"

Kommandant Thanas leapt to his feet. He expected to get some sleep in later, before the engagement. Well, it was quickly turning out it wasn't to be so...



What the hell is that? A convention?, the Kommandant thought, watching the chart where the newest contact was drawn. The task group was right between them and the projected convoy interception area.

[MKSheppard]

"We are in luck!" shouted Shapp! "We don't have as far to go!"

[Thanas]

The british convoy (taskforce. Hah. That is a convoy with a military ship as lead ship) switched direction. Intercept point shall be changed to BE39. But reduce speed to Große Fahrt or Halbe Fahrt.

[Chardok]

You want some gross farts, you try some of cook's "special" chili, HEY! UP TOP! YEAHHH!!!!!


Aww....

[Skywalker_T-65]

What is up with this book! It doesn't help at all! Skywalker thought, angrily reading through the book that bootsmen had given him.

"Lieutenant! Have the torpedoes ready!" the Kommandant ordered.

"Ja! Torpedoes will be ready Herr Kommandant!" Skywalker called back, trying to figure out how to work his weapons.

[PeZook]

6

Position BE63
Smell level: moderately low
Sept 13, 1943
01:07 local time

"Jawohl. Ze british convoy...taskforce...Hah. Zat is a convoy led by military ship! Jawohl, I'm sure ze useless swine flying reconeissance planes made mistake...anyways, they must have switched direction. Intercept point shall be changed to BE39. But reduce speed to Große Fahrt or Halbe Fahrt."

"Jawohl! Große Fahrt ver aus!"

With that, the course was changed, and the preparations for the hunt continued. Der Kommandant, however, retired for the night. They still had several hours before interception.

---

Position BE63
Smell level: moderately low
Sept 13, 1943
07:44 local time

The sun was low above the horizon when U-1313 arrived in the predicted interception area. The tension was palpable now, the crew completely focused on their tasks - although der matrosen have carried out their preparations already, so they mostly just sat around, their gear in hand, ready to spring into action.

The officers manning both periscopes, and the ever-reliable sonarman von Dokken, whose ears for aural whale pornography have proven just as capable of recognizing ship movements as whale movements, would do most of the work now.

They were submerged, at periscope depth, awaiting hydrophone contact with the convoy. Leutnant Von Shapp was manning the observation periscope, while Der Kommandant hung around the smaller attack one. Seconds ticked by with agonizing slowness. Von Doofenberg was checking and rechecking his calculations, desperate for confirmation that he guided the boot to the proper interception area.

Only leutnant Skywalker was hoping they'd have missed the convoy, and that he wouldn't have to try and carry out his duties - which he still hadn't even began to dabble in, much less master.

But it wouldn't be so.

"Contact! Two...no, three...sweet Gott, that's a lot of screws!", von Dokken suddenly exclaimed, hearing the distant chorus of dozens of slow screws.

Der Kommandant barked from his hydrophone, "Be precise!"

"Jawohl, herr Kommandant! I have...ten...fifteen...twenty or more slow screws. Five fast screws...wait...one is closing! Bearing 356!"

Von Shapp was still leisurely watching another sector entirely when der Kommandant snapped his periscope to the indicated bearing and saw funnel smoke and a very clear bow wave.



"Dive! All ahead flank, rig for silent running once past 60 metres!", he didn't wait to give the order, "Down periscopes! BOTH PERISCOPES!"

The sailors sprung into action. Leutnant Zwingen began barking out orders for the divesmen,and the boot plunged into the depths, hoping to avoid a fate that met it just a few short days ago. It was U-1313 who was supposed to stomp on allied faces, not the other way around!

"What are we doing?", Skywalker quietly asked Doofenberg, using the fact the kommandant was busy overseeing the dive.

"Well...if I'm holding the map right...I think we're trying to slip below that destroyer and get at the convoy.", Doofenberg explained helpfully. He didn't notice Skywalker go pale.

"Silent running!", came Zwingen's command before the weapons officer could truly panic. It was repeated throughout the boat, like an echo. All noisy devices were stowed, all talk became hushed, and the engines slowed down to a crawl.

The tiefenmeter continued to count down. The hull groaned and creaked. The crew involuntarily looked up, hearing the distant, muffled sound of the destroyer's screws as the steel beat sailed high above them.

"Another destroyer, herr Kommandant! Coming up from behind!"

Silent curses sounded through the command room. Could the damnable Allies have found them?

Von Dokken concentrated mightily,all but ignoring the convoy in favor of the two closest escorts. He could hear something...splashes again...heavy ones...

"Depth charges!", he whispered and tore his headphones off.

Der Kommandant didn't budge, but the rest of his crew braced. They waited, as the deadly bombs undoubtedly floated straight down onto their heads...

And then they heard the detonations. Distant detonations.

Kommandant Thanas smiled.

"Increase speed to three knots. Maintain silent running."

"Jawohl, maintain silent running!"

Skywalker noticed his hands were shaking. The distant detonations continued, shock waves ringing on the boat's hull. Seconds ticked by again. Von Dokken read bearings to the merchant ships, and Doofenberg would mark them on the map, painting a picture of the rough location of the convoy.

"Enough. Chief, take us to periscope depth."

"Jawohl!", leutnant Zwingen said with just a bit of doubt.

Carefully, U-1313 went up. Carefully, the attack periscope was extended, to just above the water line. And Der Kommandant smiled again.



They were right in the middle of the convoy. And the escorts were none the wiser.

Like a fox in Aunt Hilda's hen-house. He chose a large and prominent Liberty Cargo ship.

"Weapons station!", he barked. Leutnant Skywalker realized, to his terror, that the command was directed at him, "Stand by firing solution. Bearing 340, distance...1640. Mark. Angle on the bow...close to 60 starboard."

Skywalker stood there frozen.

"I said mark! Vat are you standing around for!"

Doofenberg activated the stopwatch for him, glaring angrily at the Bavarian. Skywalker stood there with a sorry expression, holding a pencil.

"Two minutes, herr Kommandant!", Doofenberg barked.

"Bearing 348, distance 1400! Mark!"

Half-remembering something from his book, Skywalker marked the two "mark" points on the map. Roughly. VERY roughly. And then inspiration struck him: the Kommandant wanted him to calculate the convoy's speed! That's what the stopwatch was for!

He stared at the attack chart. A drop of sweat fell on it.

Oh, God, he whimpered.

[MKSheppard]

Wait wait wait, how are you doing this without breaking the game (saves) or are you just alt-tabbing in and out?

----

Shapp stared ahead like an ox. A dumb ox, as he was impervious to the sound of the screws and the creaking of the hull. He was so engrossed in reading a slip of paper that the sonarman had passed him that he did not notice the Kommandant coming up to him...

[Thanas]

No. Not liberty ships. Target, in order of precedence:

1. enemy large warships (cruiser, carrier and above)
2. Passenger liners
3. large tankers/whale factories
4. large freighters, victory ships
5. everything else.


Always use just one torp per target (unless it is large warship). Aim at bow area (middle between superstructure and bow wave so that it strikes just below the forecastle). Keep standard depth.

One torp in that location will sink/cripple all targets. One torp per ship and just one attack run per Annäherung.

[Scottish Ninja]

Wait.

von Doofenberg was right the first time.

(My joke was that he was actually a pretty competent navigator when drunk - but that obviously wasn't the case. Instead, it turns out that he is... a fucking precognitive genius navigator when drunk.)

[PeZook]

Wait wait wait, how are you doing this without breaking the game (saves) or are you just alt-tabbing in and out?

Yeah, the saves actually load fine. If they get broken, I will just load a previous one and repeat the approach the exact same way: the point here is to present a task for the players to solve. If they solve it wrongly, they miss their torpedoes.

The precise locations of the ships and the boat don't really matter.

No. Not liberty ships. Target, in order of precedence:

The liberty ship was in front and distinct, so it was used as a measuring point for the convoy's speed so that you can compute firing solutions.

Now just hope your weps is up to the task

[Thanas]

He better not mess up. I usually manage to have all my torps detonate at different ships roughly the same time so they don't start zigzag.

[Simon_Jester]

Recommended Listening

MILDLY DERANGED PROTOPHYSICIST BOOTSMAN frowns concernedly at INCOMPETENT WEAPONS OFFICER.

The Math is weak with this one... what can I do to help him?

BOOTSMAN fishes in his pocket and retrieves prototype ASSAULT SLIDE RULE. It is TWITCHING EAGERLY, and its numerals are visible with DISTURBING SPECTRAL CLARITY. He balances ASSAULT SLIDE RULE precariously on edge of TORPEDO PLOTTING TABLE. It accepts that it has been LOANED OUT.

What do you do? _

[Force Lord]

Ah scheisse, that Bavarian will doom us all....

[The Yosemite Bear]

ahh but those american subs could hit a target square with a torp, and it STILL wouldn't detonate.....

[Simon_Jester]

Er, question, if it doesn't disrupt the math comedy too much.

Could someone define "angle off the bow?" If I've got it right, then from the point of view of the ship we're tracking, our current location would be "holy shit, there's a submarine at 4 o'clock!" is that right?

[fnord]

Guess who's bunk is closest to the galley?

Guess who gives a crap?

Simon, yeah, I think you're right.

IC: Nikoff was getting a lot of practice stealing quietly about das boot, contorting and angling his body just so as he moved about, again engaged in the interminable task of running cups of ... um... coffee ... forward.

[PeZook]

Could someone define "angle off the bow?" If I've got it right, then from the point of view of the ship we're tracking, our current location would be "holy shit, there's a submarine at 4 o'clock!" is that right?

Yes, it's an angle between the course of the target and your course, as drawn from the target's bow (hence, angle on the bow)

[Thanas]

Yeah - best position to shoot merchants is around 80-100°, best position to shoot warships is °60 degrees.