Tough friendship!

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-03-07 08:39pm

I got this in the email earlier today and it got a chuckle out of me.

Dear Dad,

A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war in
Iraq.

He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the
support of France. I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the
near future anyway.

I also told him that is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of faggots for soldiers. I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do
whatever it had to do, and France's support was only for show anyway. Just
like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, as
evidenced by the fact that this French officer was shopping in the American
PX, and not the other way around.

He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and whip his ass
in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that
even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average
Frenchman.

He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff. With friends
like these, who needs enemies?

Tell Mom I love her,

Your loving daughter
Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-03-07 08:43pm

LOL, sweet. I like.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-07 08:44pm

Maybe France could come to the US's rescue somehow?

And now a joke:
Why do the French grow trees along the side of it's streets?

So the Germans don't get sunburnt.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-03-07 08:48pm

Some people say that France is acting like how they are right now cause they were a major power in old days and they still want to feel important and want others to think they're important too. So they talk tough, holding on to that golden age-like figment of memory from long ago when they were one of the top nations of the world.

Time's left them behind in the dust. They're some pretty sore losers. Can't just admit that they're no longer as important as they had been long ago.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-07 08:52pm

Shinova wrote:Some people say that France is acting like how they are right now cause they were a major power in old days and they still want to feel important and want others to think they're important too. So they talk tough, holding on to that golden age-like figment of memory from long ago when they were one of the top nations of the world.

Time's left them behind in the dust. They're some pretty sore losers. Can't just admit that they're no longer as important as they had been long ago.

I think Europe itself is becoming like a un-needed, the power nowadays is in US, Asia, and the Mid East. Pity really, I'd think of all people, the Europeans now know best not to go to war.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-07 08:53pm

I think they will need our help in the next sequel.

Sam Or I · Post by **Sam Or I** » 2003-03-07 08:53pm

Thats too funny, he got his ass handed to him by a woman.

Thirdfain · Post by **Thirdfain** » 2003-03-07 09:10pm

Hmmph... don't assume that a woman is a weaker fighter than a man... Earlier today a girl I know challenged me to a game of bloody knuckles. Being a jocular, fun-loving fellow ( not to mention in good shape and easily 50% bigger than she,) I accepted. She proceeded to beat my knuckles into pulp. Your average girl may have less physical strength than your average male, but, as the adage goes, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog."

We all know how much fight your French soldier has shown himself to have

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-03-07 09:17pm

A professor of mine told me this the other day:

You need France in a war just like you need an accordian deer hunting, just extra baggage to haul around and it is more likely to hurt than help.

(mind you, this was in his VERY heavy eastern european accent, which made it very funny)

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-07 09:19pm

Hey Thirdfain, how does one play "Bloody Knuckles"?

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-03-07 09:23pm

Gandalf wrote: I think Europe itself is becoming like a un-needed, the power nowadays is in US, Asia, and the Mid East.

Sure, despite the fact that the only economy comparable in size and strength to the U.S is.. the E.U. And it will remain like that for a long time (not quite, the E.U economy is due to become even bigger, with the new countries joining in).

Yes, our military lacks offensive capabilities, and it's structured only for defense. But remember, we have the men, the knowledge, the money and the structures. And, of course, plenty of WMD. the E.U military superpower, if the will for it existed, is not hard to obtain.

Pity really, I'd think of all people, the Europeans now know best not to go to war.

Since Europe has commited suicide twice in the last century, it's only natural that we're more weary of the war than the U.S, a country which survived the same century without a fight in its soil.

Thirdfain · Post by **Thirdfain** » 2003-03-07 09:25pm

Hey Thirdfain, how does one play "Bloody Knuckles"?

You um, punch your opponent in the knuckles. Then they punch you in the knuckles. Again and again. First to capitulate looses. It is really stupid

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-03-07 09:27pm

Colonel Olrik wrote:Since Europe has commited suicide twice in the last century, it's only natural that we're more weary of the war than the U.S, a country which survived the same century without a fight in its soil.

ACTUALLY, during WW2, the US WAS attacked, the Aleutian islands of Alaska were occupied shortly by the Japanese, and there was a farmer killed by one of the Jap balloon bombs.

So, technically, there WAS a fight on our soil.

Dontcha love nitpickers?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-03-07 09:27pm

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Anyone who buys that can go watch a replay of the last Celebrity Boxing, where fat middle-aged (but large) Joey Buttafuco threw the damn-buff-for-a-chick Chyna around like a rag doll.

What are you saying, that it's impossible for a woman to beat a man in hth combat?

If so, I should introduce you to a certain female redbelt who lives near me.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-07 09:33pm

Thirdfain wrote:
Hey Thirdfain, how does one play "Bloody Knuckles"?
You um, punch your opponent in the knuckles. Then they punch you in the knuckles. Again and again. First to capitulate looses. It is really stupid

Yes, it is really stupid. Sorry you had to abase yourself in public with that explanation.

Enlightenment · Post by **Enlightenment** » 2003-03-07 10:53pm

AFIAK that letter is an urban legend.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-07 11:06pm

You lost in bloody knuckles to a girl half your size? If she was half your size bloody knuckles is the last thing I would expect her to win in, she would have more of a chance in winning a regular fight.

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-03-07 11:35pm

LOL

As much as I enjoy this bit of fiction, and wish it had really happened, its full of to many holes to be real. One, no officer from any nation would have the balls to walk up to a USMC Lt Colonel and begin to talk shit to them , woman or not. Two, the self same Lt Col would not have dared a French superior or subordinate to a fist fight in front of a damned Burger King!!

However, if the real Lt. Col Johnson, USMC would care to step up and take credit for this, I'll buy the entire brigade a round next time your State side

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-03-08 05:27pm

Enlightenment wrote:AFIAK that letter is an urban legend.

Still funny.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-03-08 05:30pm

Cute and funny.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-08 05:34pm

NF_Utvol wrote:A professor of mine told me this the other day:

You need France in a war just like you need an accordian deer hunting, just extra baggage to haul around and it is more likely to hurt than help.

(mind you, this was in his VERY heavy eastern european accent, which made it very funny)

Dangit, I was just about to tell that joke...

Anyway, going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion.

Does it qualify a a new joke if it's worded differently?

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-03-08 05:41pm

The french are pussies.. that you eat.

In all seriousness though, I still think the French should still get a little consideration from the US. Outside of the fact that they have some very fine looking ladies, they DID help us a LOT in our war for independence. And while some might argue that was waaaay long ago, the world shouldn't work as checks and balances. It just goes to show that America, unlike its allies, does NOT FORGET.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-03-08 07:36pm

IG-88E wrote:I got this in the email earlier today and it got a chuckle out of me.

Dear Dad,

A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war in
Iraq.

He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the
support of France. I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the
near future anyway.

I also told him that is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of faggots for soldiers. I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do
whatever it had to do, and France's support was only for show anyway. Just
like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, as
evidenced by the fact that this French officer was shopping in the American
PX, and not the other way around.

He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and whip his ass
in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that
even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average
Frenchman.

He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff. With friends
like these, who needs enemies?

Tell Mom I love her,

Your loving daughter
Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC

ROFL

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-08 08:11pm

Trytostaydead wrote:The french are pussies.. that you eat.

In all seriousness though, I still think the French should still get a little consideration from the US. Outside of the fact that they have some very fine looking ladies, they DID help us a LOT in our war for independence. And while some might argue that was waaaay long ago, the world shouldn't work as checks and balances. It just goes to show that America, unlike its allies, does NOT FORGET.

Well we did forget 200 years ago...

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-03-08 08:44pm

With the way everyone dislikes the French, I'm thinking I should have elected to learn Spanish instead.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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