Boarding

oberon · Post by **oberon** » 2002-08-22 12:17am

My cutting ops post seems kinda lopsided, but things like this are within the reach of any able-bodied people. It's just that it's hard to be balanced when you think that, here on Earth, we won't board someone without the minimal gear of steel-toed boots, hearing protection, flak jacket, helmet, gasmask, lifejacket, shotguns and assault rifles, nightsticks, and handcuffs; yet on ST, they regularly head into harm's way in a very hostile environment with no protective gear, and their prisoner-handling equipment consists of an active forcefield over an open cell door!

So...

Suppose a boarding party of sailors finds itself in charge of securing a fully-crewed late-model Enterprise, and starts in an airlock somewhere in the dregs, and suppose a (relatively well-equipped) feddie away team finds itself on the weatherdeck of, say, the USS Nimitz, with a like mission. Who gets whom?

M

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-08-22 01:32am

Fed redshirts roasted by Tomcat exhaust, another one runs, and manages to get his head clipped ott by another landing Aircraft.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-08-22 03:08am

Let's see...

US boarding party goes in with body armor and MP5s (or M16s, if you're so inclined). Boarding party rapidly advances through ST ship, viciously murdering all redshirts in their way, but is eventually knocked out by anti-intruder gas.

VERDICT: US boarding party ends up in stupid jail cell

Trekkie boarding party starts in some deserted quadrant of the vessel. They proceed to STUN (LOB syndrome prevents Starfleet from killing anyone lower-tech than them) sailors they encounter, but eventually the bridge realises something is wrong and sends aforementioned armored and armed marines after the redshirts. Redshirts are wiped out in an brief but very vicious firefight, and their corpses are heaved into the ocean.

VERDICT: Trekkies get smacked down by the overwhelming power of automatic weaponry.

Kazuaki Shimazaki · Post by **Kazuaki Shimazaki** » 2002-08-22 03:37am

I think there's a possibility the Marines are in NBC gear, you know

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-22 07:02am

However REAL Saliors and by indication Pirates tear a bloody swath through the Red-shirts, Yelling and umm looting and yelling Pirate phrase for all thier worth ending up with a Klingon VS the Pirate Captian fight on the Bridge and in the end the Red-shirts join with the Pirates and from there take over the entire Federation!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-08-22 09:36am

USMC team slaughters everyone on the ship. Boarding parties always take masks, and det cord>force field.

The Federation away team would be hard pressed to open dogged hatches, and would certainly fall down every ladder and stairway they came to. The ships Marine platoon won't even be needed. Within twenty minutes every red shirt will have broken his ankle.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2002-08-22 09:51am

THe closet thing to a far fight the feds can get into outside their own universe is against Movie Starship troopers or ingame Marines from Starcraft, and even those wouldn't entirely be far since both have bodyarmor...

Imperial Federation · Post by **Imperial Federation** » 2002-08-22 11:39am

Ah, good old Federation. The only people in the universe to send their fighting troops down in pyjamas.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2002-08-22 11:48am

THe Yosemite Bear wrote:Fed redshirts roasted by Tomcat exhaust, another one runs, and manages to get his head clipped ott by another landing Aircraft.

Don't forget the guy getting launched from the flight deck by Tomcat exhaust (nearly happened to me and it was only on idle).

I would imagine some red shirts would also get wasted by the arresting wires snapping back.

After noticing that the Feds are using beam weapons the flight deck wash down system could be activated so the red shirts would have to try shooting phasers through 4 acres of foamy water.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2002-08-22 11:51am

Sea Skimmer wrote:USMC team slaughters everyone on the ship. Boarding parties always take masks, and det cord>force field.

The Federation away team would be hard pressed to open dogged hatches, and would certainly fall down every ladder and stairway they came to. The ships Marine platoon won't even be needed. Within twenty minutes every red shirt will have broken his ankle.

Can you inagine them whineing about the knee knockers.

oberon · Post by **oberon** » 2002-08-22 03:24pm

*Redshirt trips through an open door, bangs head* "OWWW! How come these rooms are so small? Why do they have to have all this crap in here? What is this junk, anyway?"

starfury · Post by **starfury** » 2002-08-22 04:26pm

I would imagine some red shirts would also get wasted by the arresting wires snapping back.

you mean when those massive wires snaps back and rips the feddie in half, slicing and dicing federation redshirts as it flies back and forth.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-08-22 07:47pm

The Feddies get violently seasick and puke all over the deck, then they slip on their own vomit and crack their heads open when they fall.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2002-08-22 09:34pm

*Imagines all the vicious things happening to the red shirts* MWAHAHAHA!, oops sorry....I get those destructive homicidal urges sometimes and red shirts work perfectly to take it under control.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-08-22 11:52pm

Another question: What if Klingons boarded a 20th century naval vessel? Would they got their bat'leths and get slaughtered?

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-08-23 01:56am

Oh, please. Bat'leths vs. at least semi-automatics. Hmm...I think the Klingons will discover what it's like to wipe the floor with their asses.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2002-08-23 10:28am

A US marine might experience initial shock at seeing something as revulting as a Klingon, but that revulsion would soon aid US Marines in quickly identifying and neutralizing all enemy forces, regardless of the annoying bellows of the enemy (which would be quite effectively silenced by an accurately placed bullet).

Unlike terrorists or subversives, a Klingon would stick out like a sore thumb, but even so, one of them may heft a blade thingy in the air long enough to create a cool camera shot (provided someone is there to take pictures while they're alive) before they were ingloriously mowed down.