This crappy short story I wrote..

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Cosmic Average
Jedi Knight
Posts: 692
Joined: 2002-12-17 11:11am

This crappy short story I wrote..

Post by Cosmic Average »

It's not very good, owing to the fact that I can't write, but with practice maybe I'll gradually become mediocre. It didn't turn out at all the way I first envisioned it, but hey..

Criticism would be appreciated.
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Marching in retreat. Falling back. Heh. We’re ain’t ‘falling back to a strategic location’, we’re being pushed back. We’re being routed and High Command don’t know what to do. While they’re debating, worlds are falling. And it’s their damn fault the SolCom is in this war.

The first damn intelligent alien species we meet and we go to war with them. Maybe we wouldn’t have if they had tried to talk with us, but they didn’t. High Command kept sending out messages, everything from radiowaves to infrared, but they never got a peep out of ‘em.

The brass decides to send out spy ships, thinking maybe they can ‘intercept signals in the hope we’ll be able to communicate on the same medium’. Didn’t work. Command then sends out ships to track the buggers movement, maybe to find their homeworld or something. That didn’t work, neither.

High Command starts to get angsty. We got a lot of ships that can’t be communicated with or, even worse, can’t be spied on. What if they’re a menace? So the exalted leaders, and you better believe I use that term sarcastically, orders a fleet to engage a ship, hoping to catch one of the aliens alive. That one ship took out almost a fourth of the fleet before being destroyed. They didn’t capture any of the aliens, either.

And that’s when the rest of ‘em showed up. We used to think that they only had one solar system, but now its believed that system we first found them in is just an outpost.

The klaxons begin to hoot. I curse and kick out of my bunk, rushing to battle stations. Commander tells me we ain’t defending this planet any longer, the defenses are gonna be set on auto so that they can rip into the alien fleets when they get here. Orders are to board jumpships and fall back to the inner planets so we can make a stand there.

A last stand, I think.
weemadando
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Post by weemadando »

Last stand stories are 10 an penny, but uniformly cool.
Cosmic Average
Jedi Knight
Posts: 692
Joined: 2002-12-17 11:11am

Post by Cosmic Average »

I think there's something inherently great in an against the odds type of scenario, like a lone, wounded guy armed with just a knife charging an army. :D

Of course, my little crappy story is not intended to be a last stand type of deal, but rather a first person introspection of a demoralized soldier in a losing war. That's the end of it. :)
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