France-bashing in the news

[Crazy_Vasey]

There were some great French jokes in the papers the other day but I only remember a couple of them.

Q) What do you call a million frenchmen with their arms up in the air?
A) The army.

Q) How many gears does a French tank have?
A) 6. 5 reverse and 1 forward in case they get attacked from behind.

Probably old but I hadn't heard them before.

[His Divine Shadow]

West African Republic. Been having quite a few issues over the past decade. France is generally the first to rock up when there are problems.

Hell, pretty much anywhere in North/Western Africa and you can be guaranteed that France will be the first to turn up. Unless they're the ones starting shit.

What? Are you saying that the French are acting unilaterally? The warmongers, they should have to go to the UN and get permission before setting out on imperialist campaigns.

Well, actually they are going in at the request of the governments. Somehow I don't think Iraq will be laying down the red carpet for the Black Horse cav, and have Saddam shaking the hands of the Marines as they land on the beaches, giving them each a lei and saying "Welcome to Iraq - We hope you enjoy the mother of all battles mk2."

I'd like to see such an event

[Sea Skimmer]

There were some great French jokes in the papers the other day but I only remember a couple of them.

Q) What do you call a million frenchmen with their arms up in the air?
A) The army.

Q) How many gears does a French tank have?
A) 6. 5 reverse and 1 forward in case they get attacked from behind.

Probably old but I hadn't heard them before.

I've seen that used for Poland, Italy, France, the UK and Russia. It has some basis in reality though, as a tank prototype was built by Poland with five reverse and only two forward gears.

Another one that gets used for many nations: Q "How do you stop a Polish tank?" A "Shoot the people who are pushing it."

[The Dark]

There's one that I heard was based on a real story from WWII, though I doubt its veracity.

A Polish unit was fighting a German unit. The Poles tossed some hand grenades at the Germans. The Germans bent over, picked up the grenades, pulled the pins out and tossed them back.

The only way I can think this would be true would be if it was either an irregulars unit or one not trained in using grenades, because even I know better than that.

[Slartibartfast]

This appeared in the Buffalo News today and I thought I'd copy it:

House GOP member calls France second-rate country

WASHINGTON - A Republican member of the House International Relations Committee called France "a second-rate country" that should be left out of any future defense coalitions that include the United States. Rep. Peter King of Nassau County, NY, accused France of using its influence on the United Nations Security Council and NATO to hobble international cooperation aimed at disarming Iraq.

"We may have to restructure (NATO), form a new alliance which the French will not be part of," King said Tuesday. "We cannot allow a second-rate country to have a veto power or obstructionist power over American foreign policy." King said France also was a hindrance to US military intervention in Bosnia and Kosovo in the 1990s.

"France is posturing itself as a moral guardian, when they would have lost World War I, and they set a world record in World War II for the quickest surrender by a world power," King said. A spokeswoman at the French embassy in Washington did not return a call seeking comment.

Reactions?

Crybaby

"Boo-hoo, France is mean, I only want to play if she doesn't play too."

[The Dark]

This appeared in the Buffalo News today and I thought I'd copy it:

House GOP member calls France second-rate country

WASHINGTON - A Republican member of the House International Relations Committee called France "a second-rate country" that should be left out of any future defense coalitions that include the United States. Rep. Peter King of Nassau County, NY, accused France of using its influence on the United Nations Security Council and NATO to hobble international cooperation aimed at disarming Iraq.

"We may have to restructure (NATO), form a new alliance which the French will not be part of," King said Tuesday. "We cannot allow a second-rate country to have a veto power or obstructionist power over American foreign policy." King said France also was a hindrance to US military intervention in Bosnia and Kosovo in the 1990s.

"France is posturing itself as a moral guardian, when they would have lost World War I, and they set a world record in World War II for the quickest surrender by a world power," King said. A spokeswoman at the French embassy in Washington did not return a call seeking comment.

Reactions?

The Dems are getting in on it too. USA Today reported:

Some congressmen blasted France for using its NATO vote to prohibit even a discussion on whether Turkey is defended, and for refusing to consider force against Iraq. "Most of us believe that they (the French) would all be speaking German today if it were not for U.S. military intervention," Rep. Gary Ackerman, D-N.Y., said.

And then others are speaking out also:

Senior Pentagon advisor Richard Perle testified before Congress that France opposes force against Iraq because it wants to diminish America's role in the world. And he said that because France isn't part of NATO's military structure, it should be excluded from most decisions. In 1966, France withdrew from the integrated military of NATO. France remains involved in decision-making, but its forces would not be under control of NATO commanders.

Iraqi cooperation is more important than increasing the number of inspectors, as France has proposed, chief U.N. inspector Hans Blix said.

Additionally, Hans Blix stated that Iraq has missiles with a range "well beyond" the allowed 90-mile range. Both the al-Samud II and al-Fatah have ranges that exceed the United Nations mandated maximum range for Iraqi SSMs.

The Philippines expelled Iraqi diplomat Husham Husain for alleged links to the terrorist group Abu Sayyaf.

[theski]

You forgot the best French joke

Why did the French plant so many trees in paris?

Drum Roll......

So the Nazis can march in the shade!! HAHAHAHAH

[Xenophobe3691]

Bah, last time the French asked for this much proof in came to Paris under the German Flag

[God Emperor]

Why did you dig up a dead thread?

[Xenophobe3691]

Bean's little ditty about the UK, France, and Germany.