[Official Thread] OBAMA WINS RE-ELECTION

[General Mung Beans]

Marco Rubio speaking now. Among his major points are comparing and constrasting Cuba with the US, and that faith is the root of American values.

Whatever you think, he's a pretty rousing and powerful speaker.

[CaptHawkeye]

Oh please cue the fucking bible thumping.

"America is special because God loves it"

"Sorry if you're stuck with student debt and live at home, pray more. I mean it's been working great so far right?"

[Mr Bean]

That was cute "He was born in a foreign land to an uncertain future, struggled with hardship...."
And that was Romney dad not Romney of course not Mittens himself.

He's also doing a lot of talking about making things better for your kids
Implicit acknowledgement that shits gonna suck for you

[General Mung Beans]

Romney about to come out on the stage.

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

Clint Eastwood could've used a teleprompter. Or, better yet, not having been invited to the GOP Convention. That's what I would say if I were a person hoping this convention will bring favorable feelings for Romney. However, listening to him ramble on like a nursing home patient makes me cackle, as it wiped out much of the warm-fuzzies that I might've been tempted to feel from the heart-string tugging "personal" stories from earlier.

And, Marco Rubio . . . giving a "Rubio for President in 2016" speech. Which, at least, makes up for having to suffer through Eastwood.

Now Mittens himself is up...

[Mr Bean]

Clint Eastwood could've used a teleprompter.

He had one
Also Mittens is doing a red carpet walk, he should be speaking in like four minutes now considering he's shaking every single hand.

[Mr Bean]

Mittens:Paul loves his mom and his taste in music is bad.

[Mr Bean]

Mittens:The deficit was created in 2008 by Barack Obama!
Or that at least is his implication
Twenty bucks says Bush is never mentioned

*Edit the crowd keeps breaking into chants for some reason

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

He starts out, sounding like the robot that he is. Which is why the first part of his speech is about Paul Ryan, whom we're all pretty sure is a human being. And then he goes back to being a robot. So far, this android is only slightly less sleep-inducing than, say, a Norah Jones album.

[General Mung Beans]

"I wish President Obama had succedeed because I want America to succed. "-Romney

[Mr Bean]

Okay Mitts life story lets see how true it stays
He was born, Midwest okay...
Talk about the moon landings... good line

He's being kinda generic

*Edit
Oh wow that's line to piss of other countries
"When you need someone to do the really big things you need an American"-Romney
Also he mentions his dad life

[CaptHawkeye]

I think it's funny that people care so much about the style of the speeches when the substance is what really matters. Who cares that Rubio is a good speaker if what he's saying is so god damn stupid and smug you want to slap him?

Romney's speech is not bad really, it's not clever but he's not bringing up God or attacking minorities and gays. So far. He's talking about real issues that are affecting people. Nothing too amazing but it could be much, much worse. He's sadly the least object able element of a very object able organization.

[Mr Bean]

Good story about his Mother, she ran for Senate? I never knew

[General Mung Beans]

Romney now talking about his faith, albeit relatively generically.

[CaptHawkeye]

He pluralized the word "faith" and made no emphasis on Christian or Catholic religions being inately superior to others or a precondition for America's success. That's still better than Rubio basically saying Jesus loves America and that's why it's the best country ever.

[Mr Bean]

Here comes the Bain lets see how honest he's going to be.

[General Mung Beans]

He pluralized the word "faith" and made no emphasis on Christian or Catholic religions being inately superior to others or a precondition for America's success. That's still better than Rubio basically saying Jesus loves America and that's why it's the best country ever.

Even Rubio was pretty generic, he said "faith" was the most important value rather than something like "America is founded on Judeo-Christian values"

(Probably got the exact wording wrong): "You know what sort of a President he is, when the day you feel the most good about him was the day you voted for him."

[Dalton]

GODDAMN $716B MEME AGAIN

[Mr Bean]

Okay so he mentions three companies Bain helped (Once on accident) and Obama hates success.
Oh and of course I'll balance budget by lowering taxes and killing obama care

[General Mung Beans]

Five policy points:
1. Full energy independence by 2020
2. Expanding choice on schools
3. More trade agreements but not when they engage in unfair practices
4. Cut the deficit and work towards a balanced budget
5. Lower taxes, reduce regulations, and rein in cost of health care by repealing the new health care law

All economic planks.

[CaptHawkeye]

He has to pay lip service to his own party's myths. These people still live in a bizarre universe where it was Obama who created the deficit and not Bush.

"and to heal the planet". Implicit acknowledgement of global warming. Any more on that and he'd get boo'ed probably.

[Mr Bean]

Five policy points:
1. Full energy independence by 2020
2. Expanding choice on schools
3. More trade agreements but not when they engage in unfair practices
4. Cut the deficit and work towards a balanced budget
5. Lower taxes, reduce regulations, and rein in cost of health care by repealing the new health care law

All economic planks.

Only two of those mentioned in his speech and he still says replace but never specifies with what.

[Mr Bean]

Okay now time for the Obama attacks and they at least sound good even if they are blatantly untrue.

[CaptHawkeye]

The bit about foreign policy pissed me off. If anything Obama has been abnormally aggressive and hardline to foreign powers and potential enemies. Then again even many left-wing Americans still really believe the Ayatollah sits at his home twiddling his mustache plotting the destruction of those plucky freedom loving heretics!

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

An uninspired speech from a robot that hits all the Republican talking points (lower taxes for "job-creators" i.e. rich white assholes, more drilling, "school choice", protecting the "sanctity" of life and marriage, "freedom" of religion, less regulation, fuck the planet, more blowing up of brown people.) A benefit to having a robot talk about the GOP party planks is that there are no warm-fuzzy emotional feelings to get in the way of the realization of just how repugnant the modern GOP platform really is.

It's also funny that, when he tries to not sound like a robot, he sounds like he's constipated.