Obama Administration Turns Down Death Star Petition

[FireNexus]

This Is Not The Petition You're Looking For

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

[Thanas]

[RogueIce]

The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

Wuss.

[Lord of the Abyss]

NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO)

Some NASA bureaucrat had some fun coming up with that acronym.

[FireNexus]

I do fear we'll have trouble keeping the local systems in line.

[Pelranius]

Just don't ask about the Galaxy Gun, just don't ask about the Galaxy Gun, just don't ask about the Galaxy Gun...

[Malivotti]

Ok that reply from Paul Shawcross was awesome.

[Napoleon the Clown]

They need to petition again under a Republican POTUS, then we can have our Death Star. But only to be used on planets that have "weapons of mass destruction" or "harbor terrorists."

[Questor]

Ok that reply from Paul Shawcross was awesome.

I do believe that he may be one of us.

But he can't wear the pins... except on Star Trek Holidays.

[Ahriman238]

They need to petition again under a Republican POTUS, then we can have our Death Star. But only to be used on planets that have "weapons of mass destruction" or "harbor terrorists."

But... but... I live on a planet with weapons of mass destruction and terrorists.

Seriously, awesome response. Humorous without being insulting, and encouraging people to get science and engineering jobs. Well done.

[Welf]

The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

Wuss.

Well, at least the current administration doesn't believe in blowing up planets.

[Stark]

No, just arresting and murdering it's citizens without trial.

It's a big laugh that Obama probably secured more votes with a few jokes about Star Wars than he lost through all of his dubious activities.

[Flagg]

I hope they sent a bill to whoever decided to waste my money replying to this retarded shit.

[SCRawl]

Stark: Obama doesn't need any more votes. He's working his last full-time gig now.

Flagg: The guy who responded is probably on salary, and I doubt he booked OT to reply to this petition. So good news, it didn't cost anything extra.

[weemadando]

I hope they sent a bill to whoever decided to waste my money replying to this retarded shit.

That'd be the same guy who's job it is to provide a response to all petitioners who gain a certain level of support. And guess what, all their responses would have to be researched, written, edited, vetted, re-written, edited, vetted, re-written, edited, vetted etc by a team of people to make sure that not a single stray word or missed bit of punctuation could confuse or fumble intent or the message.

So congratulations, you're whining about the process of government. What's new?

[Flagg]

I hope they sent a bill to whoever decided to waste my money replying to this retarded shit.

That'd be the same guy who's job it is to provide a response to all petitioners who gain a certain level of support. And guess what, all their responses would have to be researched, written, edited, vetted, re-written, edited, vetted, re-written, edited, vetted etc by a team of people to make sure that not a single stray bit of punctuation could confuse or fumble intent or the message.

So congratulations, you're whining about the process of government. What's new?

They set up the peition system to allow them to respond to serious petitions, not nonsense like this. The very fact that they used government computer and bandwidth on this is unacceptable. Frankly, the only people who find this amusing are Star Wars nerds and fat idiots.

[PainRack]

At least its a much more.... funner version of Texas secedes!