French Fries get new name in the House

[Darth Wong]

Someone should mention that the Statue of Liberty is originally French

Yes, they'll have to destroy it. And renovators should sweep through all of the homes in America to destroy any french doors they find. In addition, all pornography featuring french lace or french maid outfits must be purged (or at least, rounded up and sent to Canada).

[Soulman]

Wouldn't it be marvellous if the Americans finally saw sense, by the way, and called them "chips"?

Because then you'd get them confused with the crispy thinly-sliced high-sodium sometimes-ruffled snack that comes in silvery pouches.

Nah, you'd call them crisps. So french fries will be chips and chips will be crisps. And then all will be well with the world...

[Montcalm]

Well since these idiots politicians wants to rename everything.
I suggest we rename every level of US government the white house will be loony bin one,the capitol will be loony bin two and the house of representatives will be loony bin three

[neoolong]

Wouldn't it be marvellous if the Americans finally saw sense, by the way, and called them "chips"?

Because then you'd get them confused with the crispy thinly-sliced high-sodium sometimes-ruffled snack that comes in silvery pouches.

Nah, you'd call them crisps. So french fries will be chips and chips will be crisps. And then all will be well with the world...

Hmm. Or we could just be lazy and rename freedom fries crisps. So we wouldn't be changing two names.

[Soulman]

Hmm. Or we could just be lazy and rename freedom fries crisps. So we wouldn't be changing two names.

NO!!! You want to call them by the same names as us Brits do, as we are great, or something. Anyway chips aren't crisp (as they are full of greasy goodness) whereas chips (or crisps) are crisp (and crunchy) and should therefore be called crisps, not chips, which aren't crisp. And I am now confused.

[Montcalm]

[Subliminal message]Fried Fingers Fried Fingers Fried Fingers Fried Fingers Fried Fingers[Subliminal message]

[neoolong]

Hmm. Or we could just be lazy and rename freedom fries crisps. So we wouldn't be changing two names.

NO!!! You want to call them by the same names as us Brits do, as we are great, or something. Anyway chips aren't crisp (as they are full of greasy goodness) whereas chips (or crisps) are crisp (and crunchy) and should therefore be called crisps, not chips, which aren't crisp. And I am now confused.

I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to make us Great Britain Junior. Ain't gonna happen bub.

[Durandal]

Hmm. Or we could just be lazy and rename freedom fries crisps. So we wouldn't be changing two names.

NO!!! You want to call them by the same names as us Brits do, as we are great, or something. Anyway chips aren't crisp (as they are full of greasy goodness) whereas chips (or crisps) are crisp (and crunchy) and should therefore be called crisps, not chips, which aren't crisp. And I am now confused.

I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to make us Great Britain Junior. Ain't gonna happen bub.

You've got it backward. Great Britain wants to become the 51st state.

[neoolong]

NO!!! You want to call them by the same names as us Brits do, as we are great, or something. Anyway chips aren't crisp (as they are full of greasy goodness) whereas chips (or crisps) are crisp (and crunchy) and should therefore be called crisps, not chips, which aren't crisp. And I am now confused.

I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to make us Great Britain Junior. Ain't gonna happen bub.

You've got it backward. Great Britain wants to become the 51st state.

I thought that was Canada.

[Montcalm]

Hmm. Or we could just be lazy and rename freedom fries crisps. So we wouldn't be changing two names.

NO!!! You want to call them by the same names as us Brits do, as we are great, or something. Anyway chips aren't crisp (as they are full of greasy goodness) whereas chips (or crisps) are crisp (and crunchy) and should therefore be called crisps, not chips, which aren't crisp. And I am now confused.

I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to make us Great Britain Junior. Ain't gonna happen bub.

Well that will make junior stronger than dear old dad

[neoolong]

Someone should mention that the Statue of Liberty is originally French

Yes, they'll have to destroy it. And renovators should sweep through all of the homes in America to destroy any french doors they find. In addition, all pornography featuring french lace or french maid outfits must be purged (or at least, rounded up and sent to Canada).

No French maid outfits? Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

[SirNitram]

NO!!! You want to call them by the same names as us Brits do, as we are great, or something. Anyway chips aren't crisp (as they are full of greasy goodness) whereas chips (or crisps) are crisp (and crunchy) and should therefore be called crisps, not chips, which aren't crisp. And I am now confused.

I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to make us Great Britain Junior. Ain't gonna happen bub.

You've got it backward. Great Britain wants to become the 51st state.

*arrives in MiB outfit, drags Damien off*

We are already in control here.

*Neuralizers the witnesses*

[Enlightenment]

But what's been pissing me off lately is the fact that whenever any thread mentions America, in any manner, you come in and make some snide remark about how jingoistic/unenlightened/just plain stupid we are. IN EVERY FUCKING THREAD.

Hasn't it occured to you the fact that every thread about US relations with the world has one or more jingoistic twits spouting off about how the US is morally superior to everyone else or has some white man's burden to rule everyone else might just have a the slightest bit to do with this? You lot don't deserve a free ride to piss on everyone else without getting flamed in return.

[The Dark]

[
You've got it backward. Great Britain wants to become the 51st state.

I thought that was Canada.

No, 51st is Puerto Rico. Canada is 52nd. Great Britain's 53rd. And France is roughly 7,496th (give or take a couple hundred).

[Montcalm]

[
You've got it backward. Great Britain wants to become the 51st state.

I thought that was Canada.

No, 51st is Puerto Rico. Canada is 52nd. Great Britain's 53rd. And France is roughly 7,496th (give or take a couple hundred).

Screw Puerto Rico make Quebec the 51st state and you could change the name.

[Darth Wong]

Question: if they wanted to take the "French" out of "french fries", why couldn't they simply call them "fries"? Why this idiotically jingoistic "Freedom fries" bullshit?

Maybe they should just go all the way and call them "Captain America fries", or "Beacon of Democracy fries", or perhaps "Saviour of the Civilized World fries".

[Lonestar]

Question: if they wanted to take the "French" out of "french fries", why couldn't they simply call them "fries"? Why this idiotically jingoistic "Freedom fries" bullshit?

Maybe they should just go all the way and call them "Captain America fries", or "Beacon of Democracy fries", or perhaps "Saviour of the Civilized World fries".

*Ahem* Savior of the Civilized World fries.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

Question: if they wanted to take the "French" out of "french fries", why couldn't they simply call them "fries"? Why this idiotically jingoistic "Freedom fries" bullshit?

Maybe they should just go all the way and call them "Captain America fries", or "Beacon of Democracy fries", or perhaps "Saviour of the Civilized World fries".

Because idiotically jingoistic people give things idiotically jingoistic names!

And I'm sure that the French are laughing at us right now for that screw-up.

[Stormbringer]

Question: if they wanted to take the "French" out of "french fries", why couldn't they simply call them "fries"? Why this idiotically jingoistic "Freedom fries" bullshit?

Because we're dealing with jingoistic idiots. Lets face it, these are a bunch of marginalized lawmakers that have nothing better to do than patriotisize the menu at their cafeteria.

Maybe they should just go all the way and call them "Captain America fries", or "Beacon of Democracy fries", or perhaps "Saviour of the Civilized World fries".

Don't give them any ideas, please. Besides, those aren't stupid rhymes.

[Crayz9000]

Hasn't it occured to you the fact that every thread about US relations with the world has one or more jingoistic twits spouting off about how the US is morally superior to everyone else or has some white man's burden to rule everyone else might just have a the slightest bit to do with this? You lot don't deserve a free ride to piss on everyone else without getting flamed in return.

And maybe it hasn't occurred to your stupid ass that most of us aren't in that vocal minority. So stop shouting for your equal representation, tosser. Life moves on, you obviously don't.

[Slartibartfast]

Someone should mention that the Statue of Liberty is originally French

Yes, they'll have to destroy it. And renovators should sweep through all of the homes in America to destroy any french doors they find. In addition, all pornography featuring french lace or french maid outfits must be purged (or at least, rounded up and sent to Canada).

No French maid outfits? Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

You can call it the American Maid.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

Yes, they'll have to destroy it. And renovators should sweep through all of the homes in America to destroy any french doors they find. In addition, all pornography featuring french lace or french maid outfits must be purged (or at least, rounded up and sent to Canada).

No French maid outfits? Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

You can call it the American Maid.

Or how about "Freedom maid"?

Also, why not call them "Froggy Fries" if we're angry at the French?

[Vympel]

Freedom fries just too funny to touch
By Matt Taibbi

http://www.russiajournal.com/news/cnews ... l?nd=36043

"It has been a perilous week for comedy in the United States of America.

After the latest neo-Orwellian stunt pulled by two bonehead congressmen from North Carolina — mssrs. Bob Ney and Walter Jones, Republicans both, abolished French toast and French fries from the congressional kitchen, replacing them with “freedom fries” and “freedom toast” — comedians all over the U.S. have assumed the poses of wary pack animals, cringing at a safe distance from the huge, sumptuous, inviting carcass before them.

The consensus is that this thing must be a trap, and no one, not even among the most material-starved stand-up acts on television, is going anywhere near it.

I was one of those who passed. Invited to write a column for an American paper on a “humorous media issue” taking place in the last week, I took one look at “freedom fries” and realized I was too intimidated by the theme to even try. It’s hard to make a joke about something like “freedom fries.”

On a funniness scale of 1 to 100, it’s already at least a 480. Trying to squeeze another laugh out of “freedom fries” over and above the actual news report … well, it’s a little like that scene in Das Boot, when the Jurgen Prochnow character orders the sub 30, 40, then 50 meters below its design capacity. You’re standing there staring straight ahead, trying to look sure of yourself, and meanwhile the whole teenage German crew is staring at you in horror, sweat pouring down their temples, lurching at every sound … forty sets of eyes begging you with all their being to stop the madness and give the order to surface.

Even Maureen Dowd of the New York Times, not a person generally plagued with a lot of self-doubt, left “freedom fries” alone, instead writing a fictional piece about the U.S. Army following a giant make-believe rabbit into Baghdad.

All of which may explain why no commentators in the U.S. have publicly speculated on what the outcome might have been if Russia had indeed used its veto at the Security Council. Representative Barney Frank, on the day the resolution passed, wondered aloud if “Chinese checkers” might become “freedom checkers” if China uses its veto, but he failed to speculate further.

And no one among the major newspapers — I was watching — went anywhere near this question in the last week. There was plenty of rumination on the possible expansion of the French theme (in a move I was waiting for, several Midwestern papers, including the Purdue Exponent, jokingly proposed boycotts of the soon-to-be-released “Inspector Gadget 2,” in order to force star French Stewart to change his name to Freedom), but Russia, China, and Germany were left alone.

A few smaller papers (e.g. The Billings, MT Gazette) detailed the history of this kind of semantic weirdness, noting that soldiers during World War I called sauerkraut “liberty cabbage” and that the term “hot dog” was originally a backlash against the too-German “frankfurter.” But that was about it.

However, in the last few days, the blogger circuit has started in on Russia.

The closest thing to an actual published writer broaching the subject as of yet has been one Ivan Eland of the Independent Institute (which is connected with an actual print publication called the American Prospect), who predicted the imminent arrival of “freedom dressing” and “freedom roulette” as replacements for the Russian versions.

Funnier than this, though, was a column on the little-known unclemelon.org site, which imagined the foundation of the “Freedom Orthodox Church.”

It also noted sadly that the much-loved “Black Russian” would probably just have to be called vodka and Kahlua, since “Black Freedom” would send “the wrong message to the wrong people.”

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Personally, I think everyone should call them what I call them. (How egotistical is that?)

That's right, I want all of you to wander down to your local fast-food joint and ask for an order of "lard-fried potato crap."

[Stormbringer]

Personally, I think everyone should call them what I call them. (How egotistical is that?)

That's right, I want all of you to wander down to your local fast-food joint and ask for an order of "lard-fried potato crap."

Well, it does have the advantage of making you aware of what you eat.