If it were only true...

God Emperor · Post by **God Emperor** » 2003-03-13 09:56pm

That would be unusual.

Darth Picard.

Jordie · Post by **Jordie** » 2003-03-13 10:08pm

"As you can see, your puny starfleet is no match for my spacetroopers."

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-03-13 11:08pm

Jordie wrote:"As you can see, your puny starfleet is no match for my spacetroopers."

And the best part is, it's more or less true.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-03-13 11:12pm

More along the lines of:

"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH! Oh, no, my relatively young Starfleet officer. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things...Ah, yes, a Federation officer's weapon. Not much like your father's. By now you must know your father can never be turned from the dark side...So will it be with you... wait what am I talking about? I don't even know your father...eh...Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Federation starship... Yes,...I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here...What's that? Data will recaliblate the shield phase matrix to correspond with the subspace energy influx modulator, causing subatomic farion radiation to overload the jurispon particle flux manager and allowing local luminal electro magnetic radiation to destabilize the interdimensional energy refraction/dissapation system? Your faith in your technobabble is yours...Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on Earth are walking into a trap. As is your Star Fleet! It was I who allowed the Federation to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them...Oh...I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."

"Come, man. See for yourself...From here you will witness the final destruction of the Enterprise, and the end of your insignificant Federation...You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Federation weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Sweep me with it. It can't hit me even at this range with an automatic targeting computer! Bwahahahahahaaaa!!!! Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make yourself more my servant...It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now....mine! .... Oh no, I still don't know your father....damn it, I have to stop doing that!!! As you can see, my relatively young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will Commander. Actually, no. Belay that order. Just use the point defense laser cannons to piss them off and then gradually increase the firepower to scare the bantha poo doo out of them before vaporizing parts of their ship with the heavy turbolasers and then using the super laser. Yeh heh heh....the ol' noggin still works...

"Your ship has lost. And your friends on Earth will not survive. There is no escape, my relatively young apprentice. The Federation will die...as will your friends...Good. I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Sweep me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the dark side will be complete....Wait a minute...he's not Force sensitive! What am I doing with him?! Eh, I'll just string him along and make him feel special before I deep fry his ass."

"Good. Use your aggressive feelings, man! Let the hate flow through you...Good. Good. Good! Your hate has made you powerful. I wonder what's on the HoloNet now....maybe some good Twilek porn....damn it, I think I'll just wrap this up now... Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place by my side! You want to join?! Err....uhm...I wasn't prepared for that... Twilek porn!!! No! It's er, uh...a...trick! You playing me for a fool?! I may be senile but I'm not a fool! So be it...dumbass."

"If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed...no, I'm not falling for that trick again....Young fool...only now, at the end, do you understand...Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side. Stop saying you want to join!!! Stop it! STOOOP!!! You have paid the price for your lack of vision! Now, relatively young Picard...you will die."

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-03-14 12:44am

ROFLMAO. Damn that's great.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-03-14 03:15pm

Hah!

The Enterprise looks like it's about to crah throught that window, though.

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-03-15 01:53pm

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:More along the lines of:

"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH!

ROTFLMAO.

FUQ!

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will Commander.

"I mean Fire at Commander Will! That bloody Riker's been annoying me ever since he started growing his silly little beard!"

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-03-15 07:39pm

His head is nearly the size of his torso. o_O

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-03-15 10:29pm

Now remember the enterprise was still a fare distance closer than the ds at the time of this pic, so it isn't a very accurate size comp.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-03-15 11:15pm

That's gonna be one dead Soveirgn.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-03-16 05:14am

Rob Wilson wrote:
IRG CommandoJoe wrote:More along the lines of:

"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH!

ROTFLMAO.

FUQ!

Seconded.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-03-16 03:59pm

Ok I'm going to reveal my ignorance of acronyms now. What does FUQ stand for?

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-03-16 04:13pm

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:Ok I'm going to reveal my ignorance of acronyms now. What does FUQ stand for?

Better edit before the more rabid ASVSers find and kill you. It means Frequently Unasked Questions.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-03-16 04:17pm

*mutter* *grumble*

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-03-16 04:19pm

Dalton wrote:*mutter* *grumble*

Now, Roby, calm down. Here, have some donuts.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-03-16 04:24pm

Then what does FUQ have to do with what Rob Wilson quoted me on?

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-03-16 04:27pm

http://www.daltonator.net/fuq/index.html

It contains a quote archive. He was saying that what he quoted is funny and should be added.

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-03-17 08:43am

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:Then what does FUQ have to do with what Rob Wilson quoted me on?

It was worthy of being placed in the FUQ, along with all the other funny stuff said over the years. And it was for the whole thing, I just quoted a little part, rather than the whole thing (carry over from ASVS).

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-03-20 11:36pm

Aha.....I'm flattered.