Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

[LadyTevar]

Me, coming back from lunch: Oh my gods, it's cold enough to freeze your balls off out there!
My co-worker, in shock: Kathy Kemmish! You're a Lady! You don't have balls to freeze!
Me: SEE! They froze already!

[LadyTevar]

I am hard at work, pouring over a massive pile of Birth Certificates, when my supervisor steps into my cube.
"Kathy, if you need work to do there's more births over here."

I look at the pile of Births I'm working on (which I counted later -- 79), and said "Don't I have enough?"
Supervisor gets annoyed, walks off. "I'm telling you there's more to do!"

[Borgholio]

You could interpret that as saying "If you're bored, you can do these". So just find something more important to do and you'll be fine.

[Kanastrous]

I'm not receptive to suggestions that I've run out of work and "in case you need something to do..."

I track my own work flow and if you happen to be in a supervisory position, when the time comes that I'm in need of the next thing to do, I will fucking well come and tell you myself. Or if you are wondering about the status of projects for which I am responsible, you may -ask-.

Don't insult me by suggesting that I'm akin to some kind of draft animal in need of constant direction and management. When I'm performing in a managerial role myself, I sure don't behave that way toward my subordinates.

[Raw Shark]

BFF: I can see your penis!

ME: You walked in the men's room! I'm peeing!

BFF: You have a nice penis...

ME: Thanks!

BFF: Don't tell my fiance I said that!

ME: I won't. Don't tell my girlfriend I let you look!

BFF: I won't. I love the service industry.

ME: Yeah. it's like this little club where we get naked sometimes.

BFF: Yeah. I love you.

ME: I love you.

[Raw Shark]

Entitled Little Dipshit [Long Monologue Paraphrased]: Yeah, I don't really give a fuck about the Broncos, but I'm coming downtown tomorrow in case there's a riot. I've never flipped over a car before, and how many chances do you get to do that kind of shit, right?

Your Driver: I am staying the fuck out of downtown tomorrow.

[Raw Shark]

Fucking Idiot: Can I get a ride?

Your Driver: Nobody with food gets in this cab, sorry.

FI: [genuinely incredulous] This isn't food! It's a burrito!

[Zaune]

If it was Taco Bell he may have had a point.

[Raw Shark]

If it was Taco Bell he may have had a point.

Zing!

Burritos are easily the most popular street food in Denver. Most of the guerilla vendors on the corner with a cooler are slinging them (with very widely-varying quality), and most of the food trucks are more-or-less selling them, too, no matter what culture's cuisine they claim to be offering. You can get it with Mexican, Thai, Indian, BBQ, or Vietnamese sauce, but you're getting it with rice in a flour tortilla. These things are generally hastily-made and behave like a fucking hand-grenade if I allow one into my taxi - Count to three and it explodes all over the back seat. Especially on nights like last night, when grown men were weeping piteously and passing out in pools of vomit on the street over the defeat of their heroic self-avatars in the Superbowl.

[Thanas]

You are in Denver? Have you tried putting the umadbro pic of Richard Sherman in the front seat?

[Raw Shark]

You are in Denver? Have you tried putting the umadbro pic of Richard Sherman in the front seat?

Yes I am, and no I haven't. I'm honestly relieved that the Broncos got completely humiliated; it cost me some money, but also a lot of stress at work compared to a win or a close loss. There was this ugly tension building for days that just dissipated into melancholia.

[Kanastrous]

"Did we decide where we're hanging those pipes?"

(gestures) "Here, and here."

"Holy shit, we're going to need a short steadicam guy."

[Kanastrous]

(One of the Art Directors in my office, leaning to peer out through the windows after the Production Designer)

Art Director: "Never mind me, I'm just spying on where Phil's going."

Me: "What, did the batteries in his tracker chip run out already?"

Art Director: "Yeah, we have to feed him a new one."

Me: "Maybe we could hide it in a piece of cheese..."

Art Director: "Yeah, someone has to feed it to him."

Me + another designer walking past my office, in unison: "NOT IT!"

[Kanastrous]

So yesterday there was a minor dustup between one of my colleagues and a construction foreman. And this morning the foreman apologized, they kissed and made up, and all was well. And the metal foreman hears about this, "What? He apologized?! I'm gonna go over there and give him shit for that. Apologizing to the Art Department!"

And I said, "Yeah, can't have him make all you Construction guys look bad."

"Hey, I'm not -Construction-, I do -metal- work. I don't fuck around with all that pussy building-out-of-wood stuff."

[cosmicalstorm]

My friend has started shitting all over Facebook about his new job, namely something called ACN Multi level marketing. The attitude is remarkably snobby, he and his new friends are posting pictures of meeting-halls full of enthusiastic people, all of them claiming they will get super-rich by selling some kind of energy-license.
Does anyone have personal experience with this sort of thing?

[Borgholio]

My friend has started shitting all over Facebook about his new job, namely something called ACN Multi level marketing. The attitude is remarkably snobby, he and his new friends are posting pictures of meeting-halls full of enthusiastic people, all of them claiming they will get super-rich by selling some kind of energy-license.
Does anyone have personal experience with this sort of thing?

It's bullshit, just like most unsolicited salesman jobs.

[Kanastrous]

"Multi level marketing" - think steak knives.

[Broomstick]

At least steak knives have a purpose. They're useful. You can use them to create yummy meals.

[Borgholio]

At least steak knives have a purpose. They're useful. You can use them to create yummy meals.

Or as my wife says, you can use them to go STABBIE STABBIE.

Yes, she's violent.

[Zaune]

This appears to be their website.

I can't say with absolute certainty whether or not they're as skeezy as these outfits usually turn out to be, but they're either staunch believers in minimalist web design or too tight to commission anything better.

[Borgholio]

Home-Based Business

There's the key right there. Scam.

[spaceviking]

I am amazed that they put multi level marketing in their name. At least try to hide you are a scam.

[Dalton]

Yeah, people get suckered into this sort of shit all the time. It's very cult-like. A guy I went to high school with recently tried to lure me in with some bullshit sales pitch but it bounced right off my cynicism.

[Zaune]

I feel a lot less stupid for getting suckered into this now.

[Kanastrous]

So, just as a matter of caution, don't joke about solving the problem of not-nearly-enough-space for the catwalks with guards patrolling that the director wants to have by saying hey, we could just build it sub-scale and hire midget actors to fit.

Because you will be taken seriously.