Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

[Crazedwraith]

So ... yet another Turtles property. That won't be confusing at all ... what, with Teen Titans: Redux a TMNT series currently running on Nickelodeon.

You think people can't tell two different versions of TMNT apart? Even when one is live action and the other is entirely animated? Really?

This is how we get dumb shit like the Batembargo on Justice League, so it wouldn't be confused with The Batman.

Don't validate companies 'viewers are morons' viewpoint. Just... don't.

[Guardsman Bass]

Is it weird that I didn't recognize that it was Megan Fox playing April O'Neill? She must have patched things up with Michael Bay over Transformers.

In any case, I'm fairly meh over this. The Turtles look great, but the movie looks like it's ripping off the recent Spiderman movies in some ways.

[Channel72]

I don't see Master Splinter in this remake. He is, after all, a radical rat.

Anyway, let's start taking bets for the Rotten Tomatoes aggregate score. I predict 52%.

[TheFeniX]

Anyway, let's start taking bets for the Rotten Tomatoes aggregate score. I predict 52%.

I'm pretty sure critics hated the original movies and, unless I'm way out of touch, you don't have the popularity among the kids (and their parents) of the IP to boost the viewer scores. They only thing likely to drag it out of Dungeons and Dragons territory is that it's much more likely to have a high production value. However, if they can mutilate the source material enough to make it a shitty Batman ripoff, they might skate by with your prediction.

But reviewers are easily taken in, what with the hilarity of those reviews I've read on Dark Knight and Rises. So, if they can cobble together some kind of social commentary and pass of confusing pacing and/or giant plot-holes through editing, you never know.

[Kuja]

"That's what your father and I were trying to do"

Splinter is April's father. Calling it.

[Luke Starkiller]

"That's what your father and I were trying to do"

Splinter is April's father. Calling it.

I'll take that bet, her father is Shredder.

[Enigma]

I couldn't hear what was said in the trailer but has the word "Cowabunga" been uttered or did they use Nickelodeon's "Booyakasha!"?

[Kuja]

"That's what your father and I were trying to do"

Splinter is April's father. Calling it.

I'll take that bet, her father is Shredder.

Shredder is the one talking though.

[Borgholio]

I wonder if they're going to ditch the entire Oroku Saki persona. He doesn't look very Japanese...

[TheFeniX]

I wonder if they're going to ditch the entire Oroku Saki persona. He doesn't look very Japanese...

That's an interesting way of putting it...

Is the imdb page legit? Warrick Davis as Splinter and voiced by Tony Shaloub? Johnny Knoxville as the voice of Leonardo and Whoopie Goldberg....woaaaah man. I have to see this trainwreck at some point. I might hit up Chris and check this out at some place that serves alcohol and just enjoy the insanity.

[Vendetta]

Wait, did someone edit turtles into the new Batman movie?

The Turtles comics started as a parody of grimdark 80s/90s comics, so y'know that's probably not a bad way of approaching a modern movie of them...

[TheFeniX]

Wait, did someone edit turtles into the new Batman movie?

The Turtles comics started as a parody of grimdark 80s/90s comics, so y'know that's probably not a bad way of approaching a modern movie of them...

I get this is hypocritical on my part since even the 80s cartoon wasn't faithful to the original: but the popularity of TMNT came from said cartoon, rather than their origins.

The original premise (of the cartoon) was pretty dumb: random toxic waste mutates 4 turtles and a man into mutants who kung-fu fight their way against an evil man in desperate need of a metal wax. But that really didn't matter, because nothing about anything had to make sense. Like in the latest movie (SPOILERS!): Patrick Stewart is a 10,000 year old Mayan (or whatever) general who is cursed with immortality and has to round up a bunch of monsters so he can finally die. Also, Raphael is a dick and motherfuckin' Casey Jones!

Right off the bat, we have to ask the question for the new movie: in their bid to create super-soliders, someone thought box-turtle genetics were the way to go? Why? Speed? Their ability to roll over when knocked on their back? The diseases they carry? Since when do we need super-soldiers to fight crime? Crime is this bad? Where's the national guard (oh wait, they don't exist in Hollywood writing). In what way would spending millions (or billions) on genetic research to make 4 mutant turtles be better than just hiring a shit-load more cops? Why is Megan Fox still allowed to "act" in movies. Seriously, Gellar was awesome in the CGI movie. Also, she can act and is much easier on the eyes than Fox.

Anyways, once you start building somewhat of a believable premise, I start drinking heavily and tearing your stupid-shit writing apart, like in "The Dark Knight." Because people ate that shit up, but it's just as stupid and convoluted as the plot of Final Fantasy VII that nerds masturbate to. And Dark Knight didn't have to contend with translation failures, so it's even worse.

[Havok]

Looks like they went with my favorite version from the original run of comics with some slight modifications.

[Borgholio]

Justifiable necro - new trailer is out.



I can say that this has definitely gotten my hopes up.

[Iroscato]

Yeah the second trailer's swung it for me a little - but I almost never trust trailers these days.
However, if they keep the tongue-in-cheek humour I'd be fine with that.

[Elheru Aran]

Shredder looks like ass. Apparently they're going with the robot-exoskeleton type thing. I don't particularly care for it.

Turtles are looking a little bit better, but I'm not sure if they've been fudging with their faces a little or if it's just growing on me...

[Channel72]

I see they put in a cute reference to the "Turtles as aliens" controversy.

[TheFeniX]

Shredder looks like ass. Apparently they're going with the robot-exoskeleton type thing. I don't particularly care for it.

Looks more like "The Predator" got kidnapped by Cyberdine.

[Channel72]

That's Cyberdyne. Get it right. It's not an online food ordering service. They make killer AI and shit.

Hmm... Cyberdine... mental note: create a new startup called "Cyberdine" to compete with Grubhub, cashing in on the cultural association with the Terminator franchise. Who wants to invest?

[Jaepheth]

That's Cyberdyne. Get it right. It's not an online food ordering service. They make killer AI and shit.

Hmm... Cyberdine... mental note: create a new startup called "Cyberdine" to compete with Grubhub, cashing in on the cultural association with the Terminator franchise. Who wants to invest?

It'd only work if you delivered via drones

[Mr Bean]

After finally seeing the trailer count me into the cautiously optimistic crowd as opposed to the "ready to be disappointed crowd"
The noses still look stupid but yes, the individual turtle designs look better even if once again thank you trailer for spoiling what should be a solid OHSHIT moment of the Shredder's mech suit.

[Highlord Laan]

I'm somewhat optimistic for this. I loved TMNT as a kid in the early 90's. Hm. I wonder what happened to my old ammo can full of TMNT trading cards...