Problem

meNNis · Post by **meNNis** » 2003-03-19 11:40am

Okay, sorry if this is too much info for any of yall, but, was hoping for some help from some of ya. Here goes..

I've been together with my girlfriend for about 2 months. Bash me all you want but we do actually love each other, and no, not that kiddy shit. Anyway, we are quite active sexually and have had intercourse a shitload of times. Now, normally I will last anywhere between 15 minutes to 45 minutes depending on the situation, foreplay etc, which is okay because I get her to orgasm about 90% of the time by the time I orgasm and plus the fact she doesnt really care for having sex for too long of a period anyways. Now my problem. 3 days ago we went to have sex, as usual, and about 3 minutes after we started, I came. This was quite a surprise to both of us, especially considering we hardly fooled around prior at all. I was quite upset but she didn't seem to care very much, she said it was just a fluke thing, and convinced me it would be okay. So after convincing me, we went to have sex again yesterday, like usual. Once again hardly any foreplay went into effect, and I came once again after only about 5 minutes this time. Now I was very pissed at myself and I didnt know wtf was going on. She still says it doesnt matter really to her because she loves me and shes understanding. But this is really starting to bug the shit out of me and its happened twice in a row and its never happened before. I have never came this early before and its beginning to scare me. Its out of the blue and I really dont know what could be the cause or anything.

Any comments/suggestions/advice VERY welcome.

and once again, apologies for being disgusting if it seems that way to you.

Thanks.

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-03-19 11:43am

Either you're doing something right, or maybe you're sensitive. Try experimenting and see what happens.

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-03-19 11:49am

Come on dude, the person who would say it's disgusting should be a total idiot.

One thing that may help is try to focus your thoughts -when you're about to blow- to a totally different thing for a couple of seconds.
Like, "where have you been last weekend and what did you do?".

That may help. Try this first, if it fails -which is not probably just watch for the timing- I've got a couple of other cards up in my sleeve.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-19 11:50am

This is SD.net. Trust me, it's going take a lot more to disgust us.

Just keep trying and see if you get your stamina back again.

meNNis · Post by **meNNis** » 2003-03-19 11:51am

How can I be doing something right, when I am finishing so early? She isnt finished by that short of a time. I can usually wait a couple minutes and finish her off, but it isn't the same.

meNNis · Post by **meNNis** » 2003-03-19 11:53am

You dont understand... this isnt my first partner, and definatly not my first time. I dont finish this shortly. I just dont. Why would i have to change routine now all of a sudden?

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-03-19 11:53am

He can't be too sensitive physically. They had sex without problem before.

It's not really about stamina, I rather think it's soul related stuff.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-03-19 07:08pm

Try distracting yourself, just a little, look at the blank wall for a moment, or something like that. I think that it helps to delay orgasm.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-19 07:18pm

Think non-sexy thoughts. And this could well be a sign that you REALLY dig your GF!
If it's a new thing, and has only happened a couple times, with an established history o' good sex, don't sweat it.
Why not tell her it's because you REALLY dig her, how much more of a compliment could anyone ask for?

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-03-19 07:21pm

Three minutes! I'm already eating a sandwich in front of the tv by then!

But seriously, you could try backing off a little when you feel it building up too much. Go down on her. In a moment things will have calmed and you can go back to business. Repeat as necessary. Usually that works. Sometimes you end up measure your distance shot though.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-03-19 07:22pm

If you can tell when you are close to orgasm, you could try pulling out and going down on her for a while before you do. Give your dick a chance to relax while still pleasuring her. Or, if you're uncomfortable with that, you could finger her, freeing up your mouth to do other things.

It would also be a good idea to try to 'map out' this problem. Masturbate alone and see how you react, masturbate in her presence, let her stimulate you without penetration, and just see what happens each time. Pay attention to what you feel and try varying the stimulation accordingly. Try figuring out what causes it and how to control it. If you two have good communication and she understands that it's important to you, she should have no problem with helping you work it out.

And don't get all worked up about it. Stress isn't going to help.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-03-19 07:23pm

meNNis wrote:You dont understand... this isnt my first partner, and definatly not my first time. I dont finish this shortly. I just dont. Why would i have to change routine now all of a sudden?

Working yourself up like that won't help at all. You need to just relax and enjoy it.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-19 08:19pm

Try to picture Saddam Hussein when you feel the pressure building. That ought to stop up the works.

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-03-19 08:27pm

Darth Wong wrote:Try to picture Saddam Hussein when you feel the pressure building. That ought to stop up the works.

I think that that might be going a bit far, he wants to ease off not go completely limp.

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-03-19 08:34pm

Maybe you're too anxious?

Orgasm is related to your sympathetic nervous system.. the fight, flight, fright and fuck system. So, while this might sound hard when related to sex.. try to calm yourself down. Take a few deep breaths.. think happy (not naked happy) thoughts..

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-03-19 08:47pm

Well, is there anything different you can think of between now and the other times? Anxiety or something?

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2003-03-19 09:02pm

Luke Starkiller wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Try to picture Saddam Hussein when you feel the pressure building. That ought to stop up the works.

I think that that might be going a bit far, he wants to ease off not go completely limp.

Yeah, and if he miss-times it he might, you know while thinking o- I have to go and kill myself now.

meNNis don't worry about it. If it doesn't usually occur just laugh it off and forget about it. The more pressure you put on your self the worse it gets. Besides, just because you cum once doesn't mean you can't keep going.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-03-19 09:07pm

Darth Wong wrote:Try to picture Saddam Hussein when you feel the pressure building. That ought to stop up the works.

Ahh for once I disagree with you, Lord Wong. LMFAO!!

Try slowing WAY down when you feel your superlaser's about to fire. That should help some. Bonus: Doing a few of these in a row will result in a VERY POWERFUL ORGASM!!!

If you do it right, your face will look a bit like this:

LMAO!

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-19 10:26pm

Darth Wong wrote:Try to picture Saddam Hussein when you feel the pressure building. That ought to stop up the works.

Yes, but if you're whacking off, that kinda destroys the purpose. When I masturbate myself to bed at night, I just stop and wait for it to relax when I feel it coming.