Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:
amigocabal wrote:
Terralthra wrote:And, as I pointed out, the actual criminal law in California already defined consent as "active cooperation in act or attitude" for years before the "yes means yes" law was passed. So I really don't know what anyone is arguing about, except TheHammer, who really wants to be able to safely fuck blacked out people. I'll get back to that argument when I'm feeling masochistic enough.
So what was the purpose of the law, and why only apply it to college students? Surely the legislators were aware of Iniguez.
The purpose of the law was to incentivize colleges to teach consent better to their students. I can't believe this is difficult for you to understand. Whether or not you want to call it "rape" or "sexual assault" or whatever, surely you will be willing to admit that there is a lot of shitty sexual behavior going on at the college level? Behavior that is less than what we would all wish for? NMN campaigns and so on aim a lot at the behavior of victims. YMY campaigns try to aim at the decision-making of those who violate and claim they didn't mean to, or rationalize by saying "they didn't say no."
It is not a proper role of the state to regulate shitty sexual behavior. The proper role is to enforce the line between consent and non-consent.

As for the yes means yes law, it does require consent to be ongoing. Obviously, this implies that the withdrawal of consent, once given, has to be verbal. (Surely the Legislature did not intend for people to read minds once consent is given, to ensure that consent is still there.)
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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amigocabal wrote:It is not a proper role of the state to regulate shitty sexual behavior. The proper role is to enforce the line between consent and non-consent.
Sigh.
amigocabal wrote:As for the yes means yes law, it does require consent to be ongoing. Obviously, this implies that the withdrawal of consent, once given, has to be verbal. (Surely the Legislature did not intend for people to read minds once consent is given, to ensure that consent is still there.)
I don't think you have to be a mind-reader to correctly deduce that someone who is pushing you away with hands and feet while shaking their head is withdrawing consent. If you think that describes someone who is "actively cooperating in act or attitude" because they didn't say no out loud, then YOU ARE PART OF THE FUCKING PROBLEM. The whole point of active and ongoing consent is that you don't have to explicitly withdraw consent; no longer explicitly giving it should be sufficient.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:The purpose of the law was to incentivize colleges to teach consent better to their students.
Then the purpose of the law is stupid. High schools should teach consent to their students, because people who go to college aren't the only ones who have sex.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Grumman wrote:
Terralthra wrote:The purpose of the law was to incentivize colleges to teach consent better to their students.
Then the purpose of the law is stupid. High schools should teach consent to their students, because people who go to college aren't the only ones who have sex.
I agree, high schools should teach consent. I also think high schools should teach calculus (and they do) but that doesn't mean that colleges get to avoid teaching calculus because the assumption is that everyone learns it in high school. Consent is different because...?
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:
Grumman wrote:Then the purpose of the law is stupid. High schools should teach consent to their students, because people who go to college aren't the only ones who have sex.
I agree, high schools should teach consent. I also think high schools should teach calculus (and they do) but that doesn't mean that colleges get to avoid teaching calculus because the assumption is that everyone learns it in high school. Consent is different because...?
Consent is not like calculus, consent is like reading. A college student should be taught advanced mathematics because they need more proficiency in more advanced mathematics than Joe Average does - because they have passed the point where the would-be engineers are separated from the would-be art teachers. A college should not have to teach its students how to read because this is a proficiency that is required by everyone, regardless of whether they are going to be a brain surgeon or a bricklayer. Unless you're a eunuch or into BDSM, the level of understanding of consent you require is exactly the same as the level of consent everyone else requires, so it makes far, far more sense for students to be raised that level of competence during your compulsory schooling years instead of leaving the bricklayers to fend for themselves.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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And yet, colleges also have reading classes. Maybe you should approach this from a perspective of "does this action reduce harm?" instead of "is this action ideal?"
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:And, as I pointed out, the actual criminal law in California already defined consent as "active cooperation in act or attitude" for years before the "yes means yes" law was passed. So I really don't know what anyone is arguing about, except TheHammer, who really wants to be able to safely fuck blacked out people. I'll get back to that argument when I'm feeling masochistic enough.
I think you're still not grasping the meaning of the phrase "blackout drunk". It doesn't mean that someone has passed out or is no longer in control of their actions. It just means they won't remember much of what happens after that point. If they keep drinking, they will eventually become "totally shitfaced" to use a technical term and not capable of giving affirmative consent, but before that happens they are still very much in control of their actions.

I was once out getting blotto with an acquaintance who was friends with people I had recently had a falling out with, and consequently she had heard a lot of shit talk about me. Because we were the only ones who wanted to go to a particular karaoke bar that night, it ended up being just us two. Over the course of the night, she slowly realized that the things she had heard were bullshit and that I was a pretty cool guy, and at the end of the night we ended up in bed together. We were both heavy drinkers and were pretty smashed, but I retained enough sense to realize that she might have passed the blackout point and so I didn't let it get all the way to intercourse, even though she tried to initiate. In the morning, she had forgotten all about the great time we'd had the night before and proceeded to freak the (lack of) fuck out. I'm not sure what would have happened if I had given in and had sex with her, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been good.

So when I raise concerns that the awareness movement might be scaring away supporters by being blasé about the "rapeyness" of drunken hookups, it's not some hypothetical situation of false accusation, it almost happened to me.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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I'm not being blasé about the possibility of "false" accusations of black-out drunk sex being rape. I'm saying it's not a false accusation. If you had had sex with someone drunk enough to not remember what she did in the morning, that would be nonconsensual.

If you're really concerned about the possibility that you might not be able to tell if someone is drunk because you're also drunk, and you are afraid you'll get accused of rape when they wake up in the morning not remembering what they did last night and knowing they would not have wanted to have sex sober, you shouldn't get so drunk that you can't tell if someone else is drunk. Maybe you shouldn't have sex with someone who is drunk at all. It's not my, or anyone else's job, to assuage your worries about the consequences of black-out drunk sex. It's your job to keep those consequences in mind when making decisions.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Grumman wrote:
Terralthra wrote:The purpose of the law was to incentivize colleges to teach consent better to their students.
Then the purpose of the law is stupid. High schools should teach consent to their students, because people who go to college aren't the only ones who have sex.
Speaking as a high school teacher, I would love it if I could deliver a message like that and have all the students get the memo. It would be so useful to have that ability to just... somehow make people learn appropriate behavioral standards, while they're still hormone-crazed fourteen year olds. If I could do that I could teach almost anything I wanted to.

The reality is, a lot of people graduate from high school with only a vague idea of how to be functional human beings. It's one of the unfortunate side-effects of our system of mass education.

In premodern times every child spent a lot of their teenage years surrounded by adults, being treated as a particularly fresh-faced adult in their own right, and expected to adhere to adult norms of functional behavior. If they acted inappropriately, they could expect to be disciplined very severely- exactly as the people of that time would treat an adult who broke the same rules.

Now, teenagers spend many if not most of their waking hours in environments where the teenagers outnumber the adults twenty to one. Thus, the norms of behavior they learn from their environment are often toxic- the result of mixing a thousand teenagers in a dusty old box while fifty or so responsible adults try frantically to keep order while somehow imparting life knowledge and abstract thinking skills.

And if they act inappropriately, well, what are we supposed to do, kick them out of school? "No Child Left Behind;" they need an education or they stand about as much chance of survival in a modern economy as a side of bacon in a shark tank. So we have to keep them in the system, usually in the same physical building, which means they routinely get away with all kinds of bizarre and horrible shit, with no long-term consequences detectable to them and no short-term consequences painful enough to create an aversion. Even if they themselves don't indulge in this horrible shit, they know people who do, and many of them are 'cool kids' (specifically, psychopaths who can manipulate and charm gullible teenagers into thinking they're impressive for being complete jackasses).

Of course, the teenagers in question have other sources of guidance- parents in particular- so it's not a complete lost cause. But if the parents are jackasses themselves, or if something else interferes with their socialization...

You're left with someone who is legally an adult, in an adult body, with a brain that is more or less matured physically and is capable of abstract thought. But they really have no concept of what it takes to go through day to day life, and keep it up for the thousands upon thousands of days of an adult's lifetime, without doing shit that would get them arrested or fired or thrown out of their home on a regular basis.

So yes, you have to do things like hold seminars in college to define what "sexual consent" means. Because only 70 or 80 or 90 percent of the college students there get it. The others... well, the male part of that population has always been the ones the rapes come from. Only for the past half century there have been large supplies of vulnerable young women on the campuses for them to target... and only now are we getting truly serious about the problem.
Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:So when I raise concerns that the awareness movement might be scaring away supporters by being blasé about the "rapeyness" of drunken hookups, it's not some hypothetical situation of false accusation, it almost happened to me.
Yes, and you did exactly what people are saying everyone should do. You grasped that you really shouldn't hook up with someone who is drunk enough that it is seriously affecting their behavior.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:I'm not being blasé about the possibility of "false" accusations of black-out drunk sex being rape. I'm saying it's not a false accusation. If you had had sex with someone drunk enough to not remember what she did in the morning, that would be nonconsensual.

If you're really concerned about the possibility that you might not be able to tell if someone is drunk because you're also drunk, and you are afraid you'll get accused of rape when they wake up in the morning not remembering what they did last night and knowing they would not have wanted to have sex sober, you shouldn't get so drunk that you can't tell if someone else is drunk. Maybe you shouldn't have sex with someone who is drunk at all. It's not my, or anyone else's job, to assuage your worries about the consequences of black-out drunk sex. It's your job to keep those consequences in mind when making decisions.
That's exactly the attitude that people are afraid of, and it's also bullshit. By the logic of "too drunk to remember = rape", it's possible for two people to rape each other in the same encounter, and also for the "victim" to be the one who initiated sex. Frankly, you have a ridiculous standard for what constitutes consent, and this attitude drives away people who would support the awareness movement but have had encounters similar to mine.
Simon_Jester wrote:Yes, and you did exactly what people are saying everyone should do. You grasped that you really shouldn't hook up with someone who is drunk enough that it is seriously affecting their behavior.
Yes, but if I had let things go further, it still would have been consensual. If I'd had just 1 more drink, I probably wouldn't have had the presence of mind to shut it down, and not every guy can be expected to turn down an offer of sex for fear of an accusation. People who have been in a similar situation aren't going to support the awareness movement if they think it considers them predators for having a drunken hookup.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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I do think you have a fair point.

There may be a case for an exception clause similar to the one that exists regarding sex between two minors. I'm not sure exactly how it'd be worded, but maybe there should be one.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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you shouldn't get so drunk that you can't tell if someone else is drunk.
As someone with a decent amount of drinking experience . . . it's much easier to do this than a lot of people seem to realize. Especially if you're drinking from typical red party cups. I'm not saying anything about rape one way or another, just that people shouldn't be so quick to shit all over drinking blackouts. Especially if they've never experienced one.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:That's exactly the attitude that people are afraid of, and it's also bullshit. By the logic of "too drunk to remember = rape", it's possible for two people to rape each other in the same encounter, and also for the "victim" to be the one who initiated sex. Frankly, you have a ridiculous standard for what constitutes consent, and this attitude drives away people who would support the awareness movement but have had encounters similar to mine.
I don't care. If consent culture and blackout-drunk hookup culture are in conflict, I know which one I want to win. If this were drunk driving, I wouldn't accept "Sure, I was blackout drunk, but I managed to drive home safely, so your standards for safe to drive are ridiculous."

Just as importantly, accepting "sure, they were blackout drunk, and I saw how much they'd been drinking, and knew there was a likelihood they likely were well past the point of mental competence, and fucked them anyway, but they totally consented while blackout drunk" is opening a legal defense to people who intentionally target the blackout-drunk - or intentionally get someone blackout drunk - to simply pretend ignorance. It's excusing shitty behavior and providing a shield to outright predatory behavior, and if drunken hookup culture has to go to protect people from getting raped, I really don't care all that much. I don't value drunken hookup culture, and I don't think the right of people to hook up drunk is worth defending.

Drink as much as you want, fuck if you want to, but accept the risk of being accused of rape for fucking someone too under the influence to morally consent. If you don't want that risk, then don't have sex with someone drunk. It's not on consent culture to make you feel better about questionable sexual behavior. It's perfectly possible to have lots and lots of enjoyable sex without getting drunk to do it, or getting someone else drunk.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:If consent culture and blackout-drunk hookup culture are in conflict, I know which one I want to win.
But who says they are necessarily in conflict? Most people seem capable of understanding the difference between drunk people hooking up and a predator intentionally getting a girl too drunk to physically resist. The only conflict seems to be coming from people like you, who are taking a bizarre hardline stance against the very concept of drunken hook-ups, despite the fact that it is completely unrealistic and unreasonable to meaningfully enforce that stance. You also seem to be ignoring a lot of the reasons people are coming up with to explain to you why it is unreasonable. You've completely hand-waived away the possibility that your stance will quite often result in two people mutually raping each other, because they are both drunk. The current laws do a better job of resolving this conflict than you're stance has any hope of doing. All you are going to do is raise the rate of false positives without a corresponding proportional increase in true positives with respect to catching actual rapists/predators.
Terralthra wrote:If this were drunk driving, I wouldn't accept "Sure, I was blackout drunk, but I managed to drive home safely, so your standards for safe to drive are ridiculous."
That seems like a strawman to me, and a false equivalence.

I think the argument people are trying to make to you is more equivalent to, "Yes, getting drunk and driving home is bad. But there's nothing wrong with drinking and being in the car, as long as you aren't driving. It doesn't endanger anybody." And your argument under this metaphor is basically saying, "Well, fuck you, if you are in a car and you're drunk you're out of luck because you're just as bad as the drunk driver."
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Ziggy Stardust wrote:
Terralthra wrote:If consent culture and blackout-drunk hookup culture are in conflict, I know which one I want to win.
But who says they are necessarily in conflict? Most people seem capable of understanding the difference between drunk people hooking up and a predator intentionally getting a girl too drunk to physically resist.
Except, no, they clearly don't. Arthur_Tuxedo clearly laid out a situation in which the morning after, the person with whom he ended up in bed was quite freaked out, and Arthur said, "if I had had sex with them, I don't know what would have happened." That certainly seems to imply that he feared he might be accused of raping someone when from his perspective, it would have just been drunk people hooking up. My argument is that maybe, given the fucking obvious ambiguity and difficulty people have telling the difference between "drunken hookup" and "sexual assault", maybe we ought to err on the side of caution and not fuck people who are blackout drunk. Arthur_Tuxedo laid out a great argument, in fact, for erring on the side of caution and not fucking someone blackout drunk, but he seems to think it was an argument the other way.
Ziggy Stardust wrote:The only conflict seems to be coming from people like you, who are taking a bizarre hardline stance against the very concept of drunken hook-ups, despite the fact that it is completely unrealistic and unreasonable to meaningfully enforce that stance.
Not at all. I just said, in the post you are replying to, "get drunk and fuck other drunk people if that's what you want." You snipped that part out, presumably because it would have looked really fucking dumb for you to say what you just did without pretending I didn't say what I said. What I'm saying is that if you want to go around fucking blackout drunk people, you should be ready to accept the consequences of that action, which, under current law, can amount to an indictment for rape. You and others seem to be arguing that we should change that law, but framing it as if I, arguing for the existing law to stand as is and be enforced as is, am somehow a radical advocating for change.
Ziggy Stardust wrote:You also seem to be ignoring a lot of the reasons people are coming up with to explain to you why it is unreasonable. You've completely hand-waived away the possibility that your stance will quite often result in two people mutually raping each other, because they are both drunk. The current laws do a better job of resolving this conflict than you're stance has any hope of doing. All you are going to do is raise the rate of false positives without a corresponding proportional increase in true positives with respect to catching actual rapists/predators.
The current law makes either of two drunk people having sex with each other culpable for sexual assault. You're saying you'd rather that weren't the case, and I'm saying tough cookies. You're the one arguing something needs to change here, and pretending that it's the status quo. It's not. You want to get drunk and fuck other drunk people, fine, do that. But there are consequences to your actions. Sometimes those consequences include an accusation of rape, under current law.

The law is what it is, and the law makes such an accusation reasonable, and you can't really change the law away from what it is without legalizing predatory behavior. Your choices are to fuck sober people, and have less of a chance of being accused of rape, or to drunkenly hook up, and accept a higher chance of being accused of rape. Choice is yours, but you want to make it my fault.
Ziggy Stardust wrote:
Terralthra wrote:If this were drunk driving, I wouldn't accept "Sure, I was blackout drunk, but I managed to drive home safely, so your standards for safe to drive are ridiculous."
That seems like a strawman to me, and a false equivalence.

I think the argument people are trying to make to you is more equivalent to, "Yes, getting drunk and driving home is bad. But there's nothing wrong with drinking and being in the car, as long as you aren't driving. It doesn't endanger anybody." And your argument under this metaphor is basically saying, "Well, fuck you, if you are in a car and you're drunk you're out of luck because you're just as bad as the drunk driver."
Except, no, that's not the argument. Arthur_Tuxedo just laid out a real situation in which, had he had intercourse with someone blackout drunk, he could have been accused of rape, under current law. Unless your argument is that we should change the law to be "If you're drunk, and someone fucks you, and you don't remember consenting, tough cookies, you didn't get raped because you chose to get drunk, and sometimes the consequences of getting drunk is that someone you don't want to fuck is going to fuck you," then I don't see how this is at all an abstract debate.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Okay, here's another story that I'm not particularly proud of that happened a few months after the first: After a night of irresponsible drinking with some friends, I passed the blackout point and then walked home. On the way home, I apparently struck up a conversation with a girl who was fuming outside of another bar because her friends had been rude to her, and I guess I can be a charming drunk because we ended up going back to my place. However, I have no firsthand memory of anything after starting to walk home and woke up next to someone I didn't recognize. According to your standards, she raped me. Do you have a problem with that interpretation?
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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According to the law's standards, she may have raped or sexually assaulted you, yes. That is to say, you say don't remember what happened, but I presume by "woke up next to", you mean that you had had intercourse during the night? If the answer is yes, then yes, you would be within your legal right to accuse her of rape. If there was sexual contact short of intercourse, it could be sexual assault. If she came in and cuddled up and you just went to sleep, then the law doesn't really cover that situation.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:According to the law's standards, she may have raped or sexually assaulted you, yes. That is to say, you say don't remember what happened, but I presume by "woke up next to", you mean that you had had intercourse during the night? If the answer is yes, then yes, you would be within your legal right to accuse her of rape. If there was sexual contact short of intercourse, it could be sexual assault. If she came in and cuddled up and you just went to sleep, then the law doesn't really cover that situation.
And do you think that's a good thing, that consensual sex should retroactively become rape based on whether or not you forget you gave consent?
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

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Terralthra wrote:Except, no, they clearly don't. Arthur_Tuxedo clearly laid out a situation in which the morning after, the person with whom he ended up in bed was quite freaked out, and Arthur said, "if I had had sex with them, I don't know what would have happened." That certainly seems to imply that he feared he might be accused of raping someone when from his perspective, it would have just been drunk people hooking up. My argument is that maybe, given the fucking obvious ambiguity and difficulty people have telling the difference between "drunken hookup" and "sexual assault", maybe we ought to err on the side of caution and not fuck people who are blackout drunk. Arthur_Tuxedo laid out a great argument, in fact, for erring on the side of caution and not fucking someone blackout drunk, but he seems to think it was an argument the other way.
His argument is that he didn't do anything wrong that night, but that if he had taken one more drink, if his judgment had been marginally more impaired, he would have decided to have sex with a woman who was "actively consenting and participating" in initiating sex with him...

But this woman would later have no memory of doing so. Even though he had no reasonable way of foreseeing that this woman would be blackout drunk and not remember anything, because it's not possible to know by casual inspection whether a person is "blackout drunk" or "moderately tipsy."

I mean, presumably if the woman had remembered the whole night, there wouldn't have been a problem on her end, if we accept Arthur's description of events. She even passed the "positive consent, yes means yes" standard. But if they'd had sex, and she came to you and said she was raped... you'd believe her, as far as I can tell, and ignore or condemn any attempt by Arthur to share his memories of what happened.
What I'm saying is that if you want to go around fucking blackout drunk people, you should be ready to accept the consequences of that action, which, under current law, can amount to an indictment for rape. You and others seem to be arguing that we should change that law, but framing it as if I, arguing for the existing law to stand as is and be enforced as is, am somehow a radical advocating for change.
Well, the main issue here is the standard of evidence. Can we justify a criminal indictment for someone who tried in good faith to comply with the law, and who had no reason to assume that the person they were talking to was legally incapable of giving consent? We're not talking about "falling down drunk" here, we're talking about "just drunk enough to trigger a neurological rewrite that prevents formation of long term memory after the fact"

In general, for a given law, you have to define reasonable procedures by which a law-abiding citizen can avoid conviction. Here, getting affirmative consent is not enough, because the other party might be to an unknown level unable to remember having given consent after the fact.

So the only way to avoid conviction is to never have sex with anyone you suspect might be even mildly impaired. And, realistically, to never become even mildly impaired yourself, lest you violate the first half of the resolution. In which case you're basically proposing to ban alcohol consumption at mixed-sex social gatherings because it leads to rapes... which is a self-consistent and honorable position to take, but you should acknowledge you're doing it.

Under your interpretation of current law, it is possible for two people to rape each other, and the very common activity of "getting drunk in the company of friends" is at least as risky as drunk driving and should not be attempted by anyone not willing to risk jail time. These are very significant things, that should not be glossed over as casual "but of course" propositions.
The current law makes either of two drunk people having sex with each other culpable for sexual assault. You're saying you'd rather that weren't the case, and I'm saying tough cookies...
The problem is that it's nonsensical. How can the rapist themself not have consented to the sexual act they themself initiated?

It's like accusing two people of stealing the same TV from each other. Clearly, someone has to own the damn thing.
You're the one arguing something needs to change here, and pretending that it's the status quo. It's not. You want to get drunk and fuck other drunk people, fine, do that. But there are consequences to your actions. Sometimes those consequences include an accusation of rape, under current law.

The law is what it is, and the law makes such an accusation reasonable, and you can't really change the law away from what it is without legalizing predatory behavior. Your choices are to fuck sober people, and have less of a chance of being accused of rape, or to drunkenly hook up, and accept a higher chance of being accused of rape. Choice is yours, but you want to make it my fault.
Part of the problem is that if we refuse to 'legalize predatory behavior' by creating a legal situation that leads to absurdities, we just make the task of defending in court easier for said predators.

"Your honor, I had literally no idea she was blackout drunk, she actively assented to the sex act at the time, and in fact it was her idea in the first place" is a rather nasty defense for a genuine rapist to use. But it is made much easier to use in a real rape case, if we are constantly bombarded by cases like Arthur's.

Because, well, that's a thing that could totally happen to a reasonable person, who honestly thinks the person they're dealing with will remember consenting to (and suggesting) sex after the fact.
Except, no, that's not the argument. Arthur_Tuxedo just laid out a real situation in which, had he had intercourse with someone blackout drunk, he could have been accused of rape, under current law. Unless your argument is that we should change the law to be "If you're drunk, and someone fucks you, and you don't remember consenting, tough cookies, you didn't get raped because you chose to get drunk, and sometimes the consequences of getting drunk is that someone you don't want to fuck is going to fuck you," then I don't see how this is at all an abstract debate.
Well, the current state of the law is that in practice, if you're drunk, and someone fucks you, and you don't remember consenting... good luck getting a conviction because it's probably going to be their word about events (which they probably remember) against yours (which by your own admission you don't remember). Which means going through all the trauma of a public rape trial and still having nothing happen.

So I think we need to figure out some way to modify the law to create a less nasty paradox, but I haven't figured out what it is yet.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

Post by cmdrjones »

Terralthra wrote:According to the law's standards, she may have raped or sexually assaulted you, yes. That is to say, you say don't remember what happened, but I presume by "woke up next to", you mean that you had had intercourse during the night? If the answer is yes, then yes, you would be within your legal right to accuse her of rape. If there was sexual contact short of intercourse, it could be sexual assault. If she came in and cuddled up and you just went to sleep, then the law doesn't really cover that situation.

:lol:

nothing personal mind you, I just find there is a disconnect here, upthread I was lambasted for asking questions about the legal responsibilities of married partners when it comes to sex. Several people claimed there were none. If that is correct, I don't see the "contract" of marriage offering any protection in the above scenario. I can't see a man engaging in it, just for some tax benefits and so on, when it would provide him no legla protection whatsoever from waking up next to his wife and being retro-actively accused, tried and convicted of rape. Seems a much more logical strategy to simply put a CCTV camera in your room and record every sexual encounter.
Terralthra wrote:It's similar to the Arabic word for "one who sows discord" or "one who crushes underfoot". It'd be like if the acronym for the some Tea Party thing was "DKBAG" or something. In one sense, it's just the acronym for ISIL/ISIS in Arabic: Dawlat (al-) Islāmiyya ‘Irāq Shām, but it's also an insult.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

Post by Covenant »

cmdrjones wrote:nothing personal mind you, I just find there is a disconnect here, upthread I was lambasted for asking questions about the legal responsibilities of married partners when it comes to sex. Several people claimed there were none. If that is correct, I don't see the "contract" of marriage offering any protection in the above scenario.
What you are quoting has nothing to do with marriage. He says contact and not contract.

In your urgency to try and find something to latch onto you are failing basic reading comprehension.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

Post by Terralthra »

cmdrjones wrote:
Terralthra wrote:According to the law's standards, she may have raped or sexually assaulted you, yes. That is to say, you say don't remember what happened, but I presume by "woke up next to", you mean that you had had intercourse during the night? If the answer is yes, then yes, you would be within your legal right to accuse her of rape. If there was sexual contact short of intercourse, it could be sexual assault. If she came in and cuddled up and you just went to sleep, then the law doesn't really cover that situation.
:lol:

nothing personal mind you, I just find there is a disconnect here, upthread I was lambasted for asking questions about the legal responsibilities of married partners when it comes to sex. Several people claimed there were none. If that is correct, I don't see the "contract" of marriage offering any protection in the above scenario. I can't see a man engaging in it, just for some tax benefits and so on, when it would provide him no legla protection whatsoever from waking up next to his wife and being retro-actively accused, tried and convicted of rape. Seems a much more logical strategy to simply put a CCTV camera in your room and record every sexual encounter.
Please stop shitposting. There are no legal responsibilities for sex in a marriage "contract." When I cite the law, I can actually point to the sections of the law laying out my position. Marriage provides no "protection" for someone from accusations of rape; in California, there are two sections laying out "rape" and "rape of a spouse" and they are effectively identical except for the marital relationship spelled out between perpetrator and victim.

Simon, et al., I'll get back to you soon.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

Post by cmdrjones »

Terralthra wrote:
cmdrjones wrote:
Terralthra wrote:According to the law's standards, she may have raped or sexually assaulted you, yes. That is to say, you say don't remember what happened, but I presume by "woke up next to", you mean that you had had intercourse during the night? If the answer is yes, then yes, you would be within your legal right to accuse her of rape. If there was sexual contact short of intercourse, it could be sexual assault. If she came in and cuddled up and you just went to sleep, then the law doesn't really cover that situation.
:lol:

nothing personal mind you, I just find there is a disconnect here, upthread I was lambasted for asking questions about the legal responsibilities of married partners when it comes to sex. Several people claimed there were none. If that is correct, I don't see the "contract" of marriage offering any protection in the above scenario. I can't see a man engaging in it, just for some tax benefits and so on, when it would provide him no legla protection whatsoever from waking up next to his wife and being retro-actively accused, tried and convicted of rape. Seems a much more logical strategy to simply put a CCTV camera in your room and record every sexual encounter.
Please stop shitposting. There are no legal responsibilities for sex in a marriage "contract." When I cite the law, I can actually point to the sections of the law laying out my position. Marriage provides no "protection" for someone from accusations of rape; in California, there are two sections laying out "rape" and "rape of a spouse" and they are effectively identical except for the marital relationship spelled out between perpetrator and victim.

Simon, et al., I'll get back to you soon.
dude, i'm agreeing with your premise.... I'm just pointing out a likely 2nd or 3rd order effect....
Terralthra wrote:It's similar to the Arabic word for "one who sows discord" or "one who crushes underfoot". It'd be like if the acronym for the some Tea Party thing was "DKBAG" or something. In one sense, it's just the acronym for ISIL/ISIS in Arabic: Dawlat (al-) Islāmiyya ‘Irāq Shām, but it's also an insult.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

Post by SCRawl »

cmdrjones wrote:
Terralthra wrote:According to the law's standards, she may have raped or sexually assaulted you, yes. That is to say, you say don't remember what happened, but I presume by "woke up next to", you mean that you had had intercourse during the night? If the answer is yes, then yes, you would be within your legal right to accuse her of rape. If there was sexual contact short of intercourse, it could be sexual assault. If she came in and cuddled up and you just went to sleep, then the law doesn't really cover that situation.

:lol:

nothing personal mind you, I just find there is a disconnect here, upthread I was lambasted for asking questions about the legal responsibilities of married partners when it comes to sex. Several people claimed there were none. If that is correct, I don't see the "contract" of marriage offering any protection in the above scenario. I can't see a man engaging in it, just for some tax benefits and so on, when it would provide him no legla protection whatsoever from waking up next to his wife and being retro-actively accused, tried and convicted of rape. Seems a much more logical strategy to simply put a CCTV camera in your room and record every sexual encounter.
Marriage is not, in the modern sense, legal protection from accusations of rape, if consent is not obtained. There once was a time when a man could not be accused of raping his wife, but not anywhere civilized is this still the case.

The one issue I do have with this legal framework is the absence of an "implied consent" exception. If I walk up behind my wife and surprise her with a hug, I have implied consent to do so. If I attempt this with a random stranger I could be accused of sexual assault. (Note that it is the length and depth of our relationship which grants this implied consent, not the marriage contract itself.)

I suppose that the reason why there is no "implied consent" exception is that it would be abused. "My girlfriend likes it when I *insert act here* when she pretends to resist" would be a likely defence.
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Re: Dennis Prager says women campus assualts lie

Post by Ziggy Stardust »

I don't feel like keeping up with this thread, there are too many people posting long posts for me to keep up with everyone's arguments and respond to them appropriately. Further, I think there is some redundancy, other people are making similar enough arguments for me that it doesn't seem necessary for me to parrot them. The only thing I want to clarify before I bow out:
You and others seem to be arguing that we should change that law, but framing it as if I, arguing for the existing law to stand as is and be enforced as is, am somehow a radical advocating for change.
You're the one arguing something needs to change here, and pretending that it's the status quo.
Terraltha, I never argued that we should change the law. In fact, I said rather explicitly I think the current laws as they stand do enforce the issue appropriately. I am in support of the status quo from a legal perspective, even while I agree with Simon Jester that there needs to be a strong cultural shift SEPARATE from legal issues. My point was that the stance you seemed to be arguing, and I apologize if I misinterpreted, was even more stringent then current laws, to a point I considered counterproductive. I was under the impression that YOU were arguing the current laws should be changed in order to be MORE strict; if that wasn't your intent that was my fault for not reading carefully enough.

But I never said, and certainly never meant to imply, that I want the current laws to change.
Unless your argument is that we should change the law to be "If you're drunk, and someone fucks you, and you don't remember consenting, tough cookies, you didn't get raped because you chose to get drunk, and sometimes the consequences of getting drunk is that someone you don't want to fuck is going to fuck you," then I don't see how this is at all an abstract debate.
Never said that. Never meant to imply that.

Anyway, as I said, this thread is too busy for me to keep up on. Normally I don't bow out like this but I'm just finding it a pain to keep track of things at the moment. For the record, if I did not communicate it properly in my last post, my argument is closer to Simon Jester's than whoever the fuck this cmdrjones asshole is. I think the current laws are fine, but we need a culture shift and educational initiatives that not only raise awareness but take into account the nuanced and gray nature of sexual assault, which can be a really complicated issue.
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