Define it by picking an arbitrary number - same way we decide if people are too drunk to drive, same way we decide if someone is to young to have sex. The same god damn way the law works for fucking everything. I don't know why this is so hard to understand. Like AD I feel it should be somewhere around the point where we decided people are too drunk to drive.Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:You've made the same unjustified leap as the other posters, which is to assume that an intoxicated person is not aware enough of what they're doing and who they're doing it with to consent to sex, and like them you have also failed to define that "certain threshold". Drunk people know exactly what they're agreeing to and who they're agreeing to do it with, moral hangups and marriages be damned. It's not like someone who dropped acid and thinks they're a carton of yogurt agreeing to be stirred. The only threshold at which this is not the case is when someone is drunk to incapacitation and cannot form the words to consent or muster the coordination to resist (if they're even aware of their surroundings). Having sex with a person in that state is clearly rape even in the strictest sense. Setting the bar any lower causes far more problems than it solves (if it solves any) and creates nonsensical "double rape" situations, as well as trivializing actual rape by lumping it in with relatively normal behavior. I can understand the desire to discourage sketchy drunk hookups, but treating them as rape would ruin a lot of peoples' lives over a "crime" that most of them couldn't have possibly known they were committing with a "victim" who was a willing and active participant.Phillip Hone wrote:Arthur, you bring up some interesting points, but I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of consent.
Consent is not a measure of what a person wants, but rather of what they consciously agree to. You can't even begin to compare it with the Mel Gibson defense, because the Mel Gibson defense is about Gibson's internal beliefs - does he hate the Jews? I completely agree with you that if you end up sleeping with someone while drunk, that is an indication that you had sexual feelings towards them and on some level wanted to. A drunk person is capable of genuine attraction, but not genuine consent. Where you go wrong is that you equate the two, when in reality, they are related but very different.
It is still possible to rape someone even if they want to have sex with you, if they haven't actually agreed to it, which can be for a number of reasons. Maybe they're not ready to have sex yet. Maybe they're waiting for marriage or some such. Maybe they're in a state where they are not qualified to give consent (past a certain threshold of drunkenness-see Jub's post for my thoughts on that).
I defy you to explain to me how it is any more irrational than saying a 17 1/2 year old is off limit but 18 year olds are fine.
Like others have mentioned, I believe they should count as some form of negligent rape. Similarly, we don't charge people who accidentally run somebody over as if they plotted for months to stab them to death in their sleep. Yet both are crimes and both are taken seriously.
Everything you have written above is not my experience.Simon Jester wrote:
Let me be more clear. We as a society at least get the idea of designated drivers. And of bars confiscating people's keys. Stuff like that. It's not considered the realm of comedy to imagine a group of friends out to get drunk, where one guy stays sober to drive everybody home.
So while people often fail to practice basic precautions, we seem to be past the point where the drunk drivers are fighting for their right to drive drunk. They're into the "we get it's dangerous, we don't feel we have a sufficiently convenient choice, so we're gonna keep gambling" phase. It is socially accepted that drunk driving is at best a bad idea.
Nope. People can still drink. Never said otherwise. It's easy - go out and drink all you want, but no driving, and no sex.At which point you've basically said "no social drinking that might lead to sex." Which translates, for all practical purposes as "no social drinking."
In which case I think my characterization of this position of yours as "teetotaler" earlier in the thread was quite apt. You're basically trying to ban social consumption of alcohol, and while I don't think it's inherently wrong for you to try, realistically you are doomed to failure and will save yourself some time by admitting it.
You've got to be shitting me - something creating push back is a good reason to just leave it be? Is that what you're saying? I'm aware that this will be difficult. I just think it's worthwhile.Drunk screwing is practically the whole point of alcohol consumption for many people. It's not something we do for convenience, it is in many cases why we went somewhere that serves alcohol. This creates a higher degree of pushback.