An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

[Zor]

In this scenario a most unexpected set of events happens. It starts out when NASA and other such scientific bodies monitoring the night sky find a trio of strange energy bursts happen, followed by a trio objects moving to earth from their locations. In a hour's time, it become possible to see them from the Earth's Surface.



Three Imperial class Star Destroyers park themselves in an orbit about 1,000km above the planet's surface. When that happens they transmit a message, it is of an officer speaking in an strange language with a robot providing translations. He identifies himself as Rear Admiral Stelvinius of the Imperial Star Destroyer Supernova and they have come to provide humanitarian aide and military relief against "insane theocratic insurgents". Then they begin launching their parasites, including fighters and landing ships. All of which are go to Iraq. As such in a few hours stomping around Iraq and Syria are a bunch of these...


...and these guys.



Due to the sudden and rapid deployment of their forces to key positions, mobility, orbital support and superior technology they soon manage to exterminate thousands of ISIS combatants. They also begin distributing food and water to civilians, as well as medical aide. This ranges from field clinics to taking those civilians severely wounded up to the ISD's for Bacta treatment and cybernetics for amputees. They continue their activities for a month before their forces depart, though not before they arrange a few embassies/recruiting stations in New York, London, Beijing, Moscow, Mumbai, Rio and Sidney Australia and saying that every few months a freighter will come by to collect recruits for the Imperial Navy, Imperial Army and Stormtrooper corps. Attacks upon these offices will not be tolerated.

What happens and what do you do?

Zor

[FaxModem1]

The Jedi in England suddenly face an affirmation of their faith, even in a roundabout way.

Honestly, a lot of people are going to be awestruck that the Star Wars military is real, and that they have conquered part of the Middle East, and are also now the reigning superpower. The United Nations Security Council will either unite, or work against each other to try and push their way to joining this Galactic Empire as a step up against these now regional powers.

The US, Russia's, and everyone else who has a space program either vastly funds it as it is now a major requirement in this new era, or nationalizes it into their nation's military.

There will be swathes of people joining the Imperial Military, if only because it will be their best chance to see the stars. Spies, saboteurs, turncoats and thieves of technology will be among the groups joining, and the Empire will do what they can to filter them out.

There are going to be stupid incidents from civilians, and the Imperial response would be majorly harsh.

[Borgholio]

Well firstly, the arrival of the Empire will shake things up all across the world. Many people will be awestruck at first (myself included), but then we will all remember that the Empire were the bad guys. They were responsible for destroying an entire fucking planet and murdering billions. Once the cool factor wears off, people will start getting scared and paranoid about the possibility of the Death Star showing up someday. The major militaries of the world will be on high alert and no doubt someone somewhere *cough* Iran / North Korea *cough* will do something stupid like shooting a missile at an Imperial shuttle. With luck, the Imperials will only bombard the actual culprits and not make any examples of nearby nations.

Because of what we know about the Empire, simply clearing out some terrorists here and there will not be enough by itself to get the general public (let alone national governments) trusting them. They would have to be lenient in their justice, generous in their trade / diplomatic deals, and actually make themselves a benefit to have around if they want us to accept them.

[Enigma]

I'd hold off calling them the bad guys until fully informed. What if the SW series was used as Rebel propaganda turning us against the Empire should they arrive? What if the Empire were actually the good guys and the Rebel Alliance was the SW version of ISIS?

What would the Empire's reaction when they find out that we knew them through movies and such? My guess is that Lucas would be getting a visit from someone in Intelligence. They'd probably have people stationed on Earth to monitor the production of new SW movies and other forms of entertainment.

Other than that, everyone on Earth will crap out a collective brick and there'll be an arms race, the likes we've never seen. Every space agency on the planet will be swimming with more money than they can ever use.

[Borgholio]

I'd hold off calling them the bad guys until fully informed. What if the SW series was used as Rebel propaganda turning us against the Empire should they arrive? What if the Empire were actually the good guys and the Rebel Alliance was the SW version of ISIS?

Heh...that's actually a good point. It would turn much of what we know about Star Wars right on it's head.

What would the Empire's reaction when they find out that we knew them through movies and such? My guess is that Lucas would be getting a visit from someone in Intelligence. They'd probably have people stationed on Earth to monitor the production of new SW movies and other forms of entertainment.

Well how did they find us in the first place? Perhaps they had a spy on Earth for a long time, saw the movies, and signaled back to HQ and asked for someone to come by and either find out how we knew so much, or set the record straight.

With that said, what would the Imperials be able to show us that couldn't be handwaved away as more propaganda? They might have to actually transport a good number of our politicians, members of the press, and some nerds back to their galaxy and show us that Alderaan is still in one piece, but the conspiracy theory groups will still be going apeshit.

Other than that, everyone on Earth will crap out a collective brick

Indeed, but it's not the arms race that I'd be worried about. Like I said, I'd be more worried about a rogue nation-state doing something stupid that has repercussions for the rest of us.

[Elheru Aran]

A rather important question, I think, would be if any Imperial technology managed to make its way into Earth hands.... it's almost guaranteed that once we got off our asses and realized that we were dealing with a truly science-fictional technology, there would be a mad scramble to snatch up anything we could, perhaps up to and including sending special forces to quietly knock off stormtrooper patrols and steal everything they're wearing and carrying. Any nationals that came into contact with Imperial forces would likely be swiftly picked up and thoroughly interrogated ("what did they treat you with? what did it do to you? hey, cool cybernetic hand, mind if we take that, we'll give it back promise"). Droids and such are likely also to be nicked.

Star Wars technology is simply so far ahead of our own that it would be immeasurably valuable, even if we had no idea where to begin figuring it out. If the Empire is smart enough to notice the ridiculous technological disparity, they're smart enough to quietly create a sort of trading agreement to slowly bring our world up to parity with the rest of the Empire.

[Purple]

Well I'd join the navy. So much is certain. I'd also start a cult that worships Palpatine as a deity and Vader as a prophet.

[biostem]

Well I'd join the navy. So much is certain. I'd also start a cult that worships Palpatine as a deity and Vader as a prophet.

We only know that the Imperial Navy exists - we don't necessarily know that other factors of the SW universe are true as well. What if this is actually a "good" offshoot of the Empire, trying to start over in some remote corner of the universe?

I'd be hesitant to make any assumptions about who they owe their allegiance to, (if they do at all). Since they apparently could wipe out any nation they wanted, I will give them the benefit of the doubt as to their intentions, until they demonstrate otherwise...

[Joun_Lord]

A rather important question, I think, would be if any Imperial technology managed to make its way into Earth hands.... it's almost guaranteed that once we got off our asses and realized that we were dealing with a truly science-fictional technology, there would be a mad scramble to snatch up anything we could, perhaps up to and including sending special forces to quietly knock off stormtrooper patrols and steal everything they're wearing and carrying. Any nationals that came into contact with Imperial forces would likely be swiftly picked up and thoroughly interrogated ("what did they treat you with? what did it do to you? hey, cool cybernetic hand, mind if we take that, we'll give it back promise"). Droids and such are likely also to be nicked.

Star Wars technology is simply so far ahead of our own that it would be immeasurably valuable, even if we had no idea where to begin figuring it out. If the Empire is smart enough to notice the ridiculous technological disparity, they're smart enough to quietly create a sort of trading agreement to slowly bring our world up to parity with the rest of the Empire.

While the government would probably be quarantining everyone in contact with the Impys at first I doubt most people would be dumb enough to start attacking troopers and trying to steal Imperial property, especially not governments. Assuming this Empire is like the normal Empire then anything we want tech wise will probably be able to just be bought or traded for outright. Figuring out what we can trade to make Imp credits will be probably a small pain but I'm sure we can figure out something, trading our unique foodstuffs or turning earth into a tourist trap with our proof the human life evolved here (assuming the Imperials are human too).

Why kill some troops for their blasters and risk retribution that you cannot in anyway defend against when you can just call up Blastech and order a couple crates of guns? Why steal droids when you can just buy them without getting the world conquering military angry at you?

Most likely Earth would be a bit like Iraq and A-stan after the US occupation, we'd be brought up to their levels at the point of a gun (and have space McDonalds forced upon us in the process) and our militaries would probably be able to work out some agreement to get piles and piles of older equipment poured onto them along with trillions of credits spent on buildings nobody will use, equipment used maybe once and then destroyed, no bid horribly over-priced rebuilding and PMC contracts, and other quarter assed projects that are mostly there to line the pockets of the Emperor's buddies.

[Purple]

We only know that the Imperial Navy exists - we don't necessarily know that other factors of the SW universe are true as well. What if this is actually a "good" offshoot of the Empire, trying to start over in some remote corner of the universe

Well I did put those two in order. I'd join the navy and than ask who is in charge so that I can start a religion worshiping them.

[PREDATOR490]

I would be reluctant to join the Empire until they gave an idea of what they want the man power for.

Star Wars tech is fantastically more advanced and the priciples behind how it works is going to take a long time to learn. Why would the Empire need illiterate backward savages to do anything for them but the most menial of tasks ?

I suppose you can argue that if a child in Star Wars can learn then we might but that assumes Star Wars humans are developmentally the same. If not, the smartest people on Earth will end up being little more than dumb pets that cannot even compete with a Star Wars child.
I dont see much recruitment potential other than cannonfodder.

Otherwise, judging anything based on the Star Wars films would be extremely dangerous without investigation. Even if they were accurate, Earth is so trivial that nothing could be done about it except take whatever the Empire decides to do.

[jwl]

I'd hold off calling them the bad guys until fully informed. What if the SW series was used as Rebel propaganda turning us against the Empire should they arrive? What if the Empire were actually the good guys and the Rebel Alliance was the SW version of ISIS?

What would the Empire's reaction when they find out that we knew them through movies and such? My guess is that Lucas would be getting a visit from someone in Intelligence. They'd probably have people stationed on Earth to monitor the production of new SW movies and other forms of entertainment.

Other than that, everyone on Earth will crap out a collective brick and there'll be an arms race, the likes we've never seen. Every space agency on the planet will be swimming with more money than they can ever use.

Well either an insanely powerful evil empire has just turned up on our doorstep, or an insanely powerful evil terrorist organisation that has been playing with our entertainment franchises for decades gets a new target to aim at. Either way, it's not looking very good for us.

[Tribble]

Why would the Empire want Earth anyways? It's not like we have anything unique to offer that a galaxy spanning government doesn't already have. For that matter, why would they bother to land? They would already have total control over the planet just by having the Star Destroyer in orbit. If they are intending on conquering the planet while leaving the infrastructure relatively intact, they don't need to do it via troops; all they have to do is launch a plague or two to wipe out the native population, and problem solved. We might fire off all our nukes for area denial, but I'm pretty sure they would have the capability to intercept many of them, and they probably have ways of dealing with the radiation for the ones that they miss. It's not like PR is a problem either; we don't have interstellar communications, and if all of us were wiped out no one would even know about it. It's far easier for them to do that and rebuild rather than send an occupation force, so I really can't see them doing the ladder.

The only reason why I could see them needing the human population intact is for experimentation/testing. They certainly don't need us for the manpower. Again nobody will notice or care if we perish, so the Empire can do whatever it wants.

Or Perhaps the Emperor intends on establishing another Byss? We could be isolated enough for that to work. Plus, having several billion humans to draw life force from without anyone noticing might be nice.

[Borgholio]

The only thing that makes sense is if they are not evil as per the movies, but they are actually fairly benevolent. What if this scout group of ISDs was doing a first contact mission a la Star Trek? They might simply be explorers.

[jwl]

One interesting thing is that if the movies are accurate, seeing as they are set "long ago, in a galaxy far, far away", this means this is more the descendant of the empire of the movies. There are plenty of friendly countries now which weren't amazingly nice to everyone in the past, so maybe this might also apply to the empire? There's no need to judge current France by the Napoleonic wars, for example. You even see this process in the movies themselves, as the galactic empire is the descendant of the galactic republic.

Also, considering this is referring to "a galaxy far, far, away", this means that they have since learnt about significant intergalactic travel, so their tech level will have gone up quite a bit.

[Patroklos]

A rather important question, I think, would be if any Imperial technology managed to make its way into Earth hands.... it's almost guaranteed that once we got off our asses and realized that we were dealing with a truly science-fictional technology, there would be a mad scramble to snatch up anything we could, perhaps up to and including sending special forces to quietly knock off stormtrooper patrols and steal everything they're wearing and carrying. Any nationals that came into contact with Imperial forces would likely be swiftly picked up and thoroughly interrogated ("what did they treat you with? what did it do to you? hey, cool cybernetic hand, mind if we take that, we'll give it back promise"). Droids and such are likely also to be nicked.

1.) http://www.projectrho.com/public_html/r ... exotic.php

See the "Alien technology" part towards the middle. It is not necessarily a good thing to be playing around with SW technology lightly. They have craft the size of a car that can lift off planets casually and cross the galaxy. More amazingly they have craft the size of aircraft carriers that can do the same without laying waste to the planet below. When you have aliens that can play fast and lose with energies of that power without a second thought I would be loath to mess around with even their version of a toaster without worrying about devastating my neighborhood.

2.) If we are talking resistance I doubt we have the resources to build much of it anyway. We don't have much tibanna gas sitting around for instance. At least not that we know of. Neither do the Imperials if they are isolated for that matter.

If they are isolated within a century the idea won't be us moving up to their level but them slowly descending to ours, though the floor for that decent will be heightened by whatever tech is suitable to adaption to our resource/industrial base. But that won't be much, any more than ancient Rome could keep 99% of our gadgets working.

[Eulogy]

The RAR does not make sense as written, because as others have said the Empire does not need people from Earth as personnel, what with being trillions of sentients large and they can already get all the clones and robots they can afford. If Earth interests them for any reason, then that is a Very Bad Thing for us unless they really are altruistic - and there's no reason to think they are, even if the movies are inaccurate.

The most likely scenario is that Q or similar being is dicking around with us.

[Borgholio]

What I think would be a more interesting RAR is if instead of the Empire finding us, it's the Imperium of Man. How would the IoM react to having a still (mostly) natural Holy Terra that hasn't been attacked by Chaos yet, and how would we react to soldiers that are far more violent and terrifying than anything in the SW galaxy?

[Eulogy]

What I think would be a more interesting RAR is if instead of the Empire finding us, it's the Imperium of Man. How would the IoM react to having a still (mostly) natural Holy Terra that hasn't been attacked by Chaos yet, and how would we react to soldiers that are far more violent and terrifying than anything in the SW galaxy?

It would be akin to getting kidnapped and locked in the basement by a insanely religious, murderously xenophobic and ludicrously powerful psychopath. For our own good, of course.

[Joun_Lord]

The RAR does not make sense as written, because as others have said the Empire does not need people from Earth as personnel, what with being trillions of sentients large and they can already get all the clones and robots they can afford. If Earth interests them for any reason, then that is a Very Bad Thing for us unless they really are altruistic - and there's no reason to think they are, even if the movies are inaccurate.

If they are explorers they will want to plant the flag on Earth to say they did so and to learn about us like the Feddies. They could be exploiting us even if they already have what they need because its not like they can't use more natural resources, subjects, and cannon-fodder. They could be playing the galactic equivalent of white man's burden where they conquer savages (us) for our own good whether we want it or not.

They could just be good dudes who want to stop help a group of people living in a diseased shithole were people still die before they are a 100 to easily treatable diseases and sicknesses, poison themselves with fossil fuels, and point radioactive bombs at each other. Or could just be as simple as we are in their territory and thus their problem.

The fact is in this RAR they are here and are setting up recruiting posts means for whatever reason they have an interest in us.

Besides its not like the Empire we already know doesn't set up shop on primitive backwaters or let others do so. They set up a base on Endor just because it was so isolated. Tatooine is a total shithole with probably considerably less going for it but they had an Imperial presence and was recruiting from there.

Whatever way it goes they will probably be exploiting us atleast some, I could see the Star Wars movies winding up on a art exhibit on Coruscant to ooh and aah people with our primitive interpretation of their culture. Scientists and anthropologists would probably enjoy studying our tech, culture, and fossil records. Our food might interest these people from beyond the Star Wars, I'm positive they've never had a burger or pizza. Could easily start to franchise some of our foods like we do today with exotic foods from far off cultures.

We should be grateful that so far it seems like they are going for a soft method of conquering us. They could easily flatten our cities, round us up and force us to change our names to more civilized Imperial names, and then force us to work as servants to pay them back for the honor of conquering us.

[Borgholio]

fossil record

Well we DID evolve here. I'm sure their scientists will be quite curious how humanity could evolve on a little backwater planet like Earth and somehow make it all the way to their galaxy tens of thousands of years before we even built our first city...

[Cykeisme]

To us it'd be a (understatement) big deal, but to the galactic community at large I don't think a dinky little planet like this would even raise any eyebrows.

Looking at how things go in the movies, if a backwater planet was discovered just like our planet, I'm guessing folks might come and visit and trade might open up, maybe?
A planet with tech as far behind as ours might not have much to trade, though.

The only thing we have that has value for sure is slaves, because for some reason there is still a burgeoning illegal slave trade in the Outer Rim territories.
This is definitely not cool for us, and unless we get the Navy's constant protection (regular patrols and a hotline to them), we're going to need SW-tech weapons to ward off criminal slavers coming to kidnap people.

[Joun_Lord]

To us it'd be a (understatement) big deal, but to the galactic community at large I don't think a dinky little planet like this would even raise any eyebrows.

Looking at how things go in the movies, if a backwater planet was discovered just like our planet, I'm guessing folks might come and visit and trade might open up, maybe?
A planet with tech as far behind as ours might not have much to trade, though.

The only thing we have that has value for sure is slaves, because for some reason there is still a burgeoning illegal slave trade in the Outer Rim territories.
This is definitely not cool for us, and unless we get the Navy's constant protection (regular patrols and a hotline to them), we're going to need SW-tech weapons to ward off criminal slavers coming to kidnap people.

What do we trade for with primitive cultures? Either their culture, tourism, or perishable good like fruits and things like tobacco. Maybe eventually we'd wind up making space iPods but probably we'd for now be banking on trading off shit they've never heard of and getting people to come here to spend their credits to "visit the homeworld of humanity". I'm sure especially amongst humancentric elements of the Empire visiting where their ancestors came from (somehow) would be a pretty good draw.

We also have some pretty good tourist sites and archeological sites that may not seem like much to us as we've be stuck with it but would probably be fascinating to Imperial citizens. Someone who lives in such a high tech society would probably love to see stuff like the Amish or visit quaint European communities. Things like the pyramids and Mount Rushmore would probably be intriguing, "how did these primitive humans build something like that?"

We probably wouldn't the number 1 tourist destination or even close but I'm sure with a bit of ingenuity we could probably get a ton of credits rolling in just by tourism alone.

Slavers would probably be a problem but I'm sure we could probably get the Imperials to give us a old cruiser or two to defend ourselves. Though considering there is probably going to be atleast a minimal Imp presence here, which would include FTL comms to stay in contact, I doubt we would see a large scale attack that would warrant massive plantary defenses. Our problems would be slavers who don't want to go to the ground and risk a fight (our primitive guns will still kill someone just as dead) but them snatching up people taking to the stars. A space shuttle or soyez capsule with a star wars engine strapped to it is what we'd probably be limited to for awhile and would be easy pickings for any slaver. We'd be sending people just because of the ease in which we could now explore our own solar system, though I doubt we be trying to go much farther then that on our own.

[jwl]

fossil record

Well we DID evolve here. I'm sure their scientists will be quite curious how humanity could evolve on a little backwater planet like Earth and somehow make it all the way to their galaxy tens of thousands of years before we even built our first city...

Some sort of extreme convergent evolution? A lot of species in star wars do look rather humanoid, even if they are reptilian-like so unlikely to have come from a common ancestor. They do look rather overtly human in the star wars movies, but maybe that's because they are constrained to human actors? Are the movies still a higher canon level than clone wars in the Disney canon? If not, you could argue that the appearance of the characters in clone wars/rebels is just a valid as in the movies, and I can easily imagine obi wan and co. from clone wars having an alien linage with some kind of convergent evolution to us.

[Irbis]

He identifies himself as Rear Admiral Stelvinius of the Imperial Star Destroyer Supernova and they have come to provide humanitarian aide and military relief against "insane theocratic insurgents".

And then some troll sends them video of Bush talking about god and they bomb Washington DC in response?

Care to inform us how they would even identify ISIS supporters, from, you know, every other human in ISIS territory? Is every Stormtrooper a mind reader? What targets ISIS exactly has worthy bombing from orbit not killed already by US non stop bombardment? How you stop all healed people from being dissected to learn how it was done? Or religious nuts from blowing up embassies in revenge? Why the intervention makes so little sense?

Also, is Russia praised by Imperials as the most progressive of Western countries and all other nations encouraged to follow the model of strong leader and weak senate?