An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Purple »

Batman wrote:And the reason to rejoice would be-what, exactly?
Evil Wizard. And I keep repeating those two words like that without a sentence for a reason. Basically there is more to it than just "Evil Wizard exists" or "Evil Wizard is in charge" or "This or that relating to Evil Wizard." It's all of those at once and more. Literally everything about the fact that suddenly reality has become reality + Evil Wizard is rejoyceworthy.
How does an evil wizard being in charge change the fact that countless innocent people are oppressed, tortured, murdered and so on?
It doesn't. Why would it? It just offsets it. 2 + (-1) = 1 > 0 and all that.
By your (for want of a better word) reasoning you'd be happy to live in Stalin's USSR if it turned out Stalin was a Kryptonian.
Kryptonians aren't wizards. At least not that I know off. But if it was a kryptonian wizard, sure.
It has become clear to me in the previous days that any attempts at reconciliation and explanation with the community here has failed. I have tried my best. I really have. I pored my heart out trying. But it was all for nothing.

You win. There, I have said it.

Now there is only one thing left to do. Let us see if I can sum up the strength needed to end things once and for all.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Imperial528 »

As a long time acquaintance of Purple, I can tell you he'd be quite happy under Stalin's USSR. SuperStalin or no. At least, last I talked to him. He may have changed since.

EDIT: Purple you sniping six-sided bastard, you posted first.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Batman »

Kryptonians have at times casually moved 'reach the edge of the universe in a heartbeat' FTL, casually shoved around planets, generally tend to react to 'we just threw enough firepower to vapourize a Borg Cube your way' by whining about how you ruined their wardrobe but you think Palpatine is more impressive.
'Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
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'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Purple »

Batman wrote:Kryptonians have at times casually moved 'reach the edge of the universe in a heartbeat' FTL, casually shoved around planets, generally tend to react to 'we just threw enough firepower to vapourize a Borg Cube your way' by whining about how you ruined their wardrobe but you think Palpatine is more impressive.
It's not about being impressive or powerful. It's about being two things: 1. Evil and 2. A magic user.
A kryptonian is not a magic user.
It has become clear to me in the previous days that any attempts at reconciliation and explanation with the community here has failed. I have tried my best. I really have. I pored my heart out trying. But it was all for nothing.

You win. There, I have said it.

Now there is only one thing left to do. Let us see if I can sum up the strength needed to end things once and for all.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Batman »

At this point I think it's pretty evident that Purple is either stark raving mad or actively trolling.
'Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
'No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.'
'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Purple »

Batman wrote:At this point I think it's pretty evident that Purple is either stark raving mad or actively trolling.
Why do you say that? It's not my fault that there is a difference between a superpowered alien and a magic user. There just is. Especially since IIRC kryptonians gain their power from being shined on by our sun which means they are just flukes of nature and not a person who besides talent also has invested many long hours into studies of the evil.
It has become clear to me in the previous days that any attempts at reconciliation and explanation with the community here has failed. I have tried my best. I really have. I pored my heart out trying. But it was all for nothing.

You win. There, I have said it.

Now there is only one thing left to do. Let us see if I can sum up the strength needed to end things once and for all.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Batman »

Kryptonian: can do things that are impossible to explain using the laws of physics as we currently understand them, including moving FTL, casually shoving around planets, and ignoring TT level firepower
Sith Lord: can do things that are impossible to explain using the laws of physics as we currently understand them, but routinely has to run from threats that Clark would blithely ignore on account of not actually being one.
'Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
'No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.'
'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by NecronLord »

This is way off topic and getting spammy, if you need a sith vs superman thread (and I can't think why!), make one. I am beginning to see decreasing value in keeping this thread open. Let's restrict future comments to the original scenario, silly as it is.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Metahive »

I would actually question if the ship in orbit belongs to the Galactic Empire at all since they act way out of character. Standard procedure of the Empire WRT primitive and unaffiliated worlds would be to simply demand submission under the threat of destruction, not to randomly attack a rather insignificant military force on the planet that has to largely make do with looted equipment. If they attacked anyone, wouldn't it be the actual military superpowers on the planet like the US, Russia and China?

So my judgement is that the ship belongs to impostors, maybe it's those interstellar con artists from the TNG episode The Devil's Due.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Lord Revan »

or the rebels using looted Imperial gear.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Metahive »

Why would Rebels pose as imperial officers to a primitive, unaffiliated planet (remember, they're introducing themselves as imperial)? There'd be no point to it. If they wanted our support they'd be upfront about who they are. If they wanted to stage a false-flag operation to discredit the Empire they'd attack random civilian centers (which would be OOC for the Rebels however). No matter how you turn it I find the con-artist explanation to make the most sense.

This whole scenario is dumb and wankish.
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Saddam’s crime was so bad we literally spent decades looking for our dropped monocles before we could harumph up the gumption to address it
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Joun_Lord »

Metahive wrote:I would actually question if the ship in orbit belongs to the Galactic Empire at all since they act way out of character. Standard procedure of the Empire WRT primitive and unaffiliated worlds would be to simply demand submission under the threat of destruction, not to randomly attack a rather insignificant military force on the planet that has to largely make do with looted equipment. If they attacked anyone, wouldn't it be the actual military superpowers on the planet like the US, Russia and China?

So my judgement is that the ship belongs to impostors, maybe it's those interstellar con artists from the TNG episode The Devil's Due.
It may not be the same Empire as the Empire of the Star Wars movies.

There is the theory put forth earlier in the thread that the Star Wars movies could be propaganda. Would explain easily why the Empire is all hearts and minds rather then turbolasers and kneeling.

Could be a future Empire, Star Wars taking place a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Takes time to get here so those ships could be part of Fel Empire. They had the Imperial Mission as part of their Victory Without War strategy of spreading Imperial influence and it wouldn't be surprising that they'd be using older ships. Their missions is to help those in poverty and even Earth 1st worlders by their standards are poverty stricken, to say nothing of the millions or billions of actual poverty stricken hoomangs. They were supposed to have sites set up on places like Tatooine to help the needy there and Tatooine people are probably doing a bit better then many Earthers.

Speaking of Tatooine, that is a world that is pretty primitive. No real natural resources unless you like sand and whiny blond kids. The Empire had a presence there but mostly took a hands off approach. Same with another even more primitive world, Endor. Again hands off, let the locals do their own thing mostly. We are probably somewhere between Tatooine and Endor. If the Empire showed up it would most likely be just to plant their flag, blast some belligerents to clean the dust off their cannons and to show to not fuck with them, and other then that would probably leave us mostly alone unless we were strategically important. They'd probably set up a base or embassy even then.

The main thing we would have to worry about in corporations following the Imps looking for primitive worlds to exploit. I doubt we'd be dumb enough to trade off Australia for some space beads or all the contents of Fort Knox for a space can opener but still I could see mega-corps trying to exploit us, either for our culture or anything we have that is unique.

Or could be intergalactic space douches have a giggle at our expense by dressing up as fictional characters.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Metahive »

Joun_Lord wrote:It may not be the same Empire as the Empire of the Star Wars movies.

There is the theory put forth earlier in the thread that the Star Wars movies could be propaganda. Would explain easily why the Empire is all hearts and minds rather then turbolasers and kneeling.
Then this thread becomes even more pointless than before. If we can simply make up how and why the Empire behaves then what's there to discuss? My headcanon beats your headcanon? Yeah, that sounds like a fruitful debate.
Speaking of Tatooine, that is a world that is pretty primitive.
Except it's one of the main bases of operation a powerful interstellar faction, the Hutts. That already makes it an inadequate comparison to Earth.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by The Romulan Republic »

Sure, Tatooine is primitive. Its just that "primitive" by Star Wars standards includes things like "The farmers' personal robots are outdated" and "Your ship takes weeks rather than days or hours to cross the galaxy."
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Joun_Lord »

Metahive wrote:
Joun_Lord wrote:It may not be the same Empire as the Empire of the Star Wars movies.

There is the theory put forth earlier in the thread that the Star Wars movies could be propaganda. Would explain easily why the Empire is all hearts and minds rather then turbolasers and kneeling.
Then this thread becomes even more pointless than before. If we can simply make up how and why the Empire behaves then what's there to discuss? My headcanon beats your headcanon? Yeah, that sounds like a fruitful debate.
Well you could discuss your headcanon or skullgun. More seriously conjecturing on how the Empire behaves is about all we can do in this scenario. We don't really have any instances of the Empire playing around with a culture around our primitiveness. And how the Empire would even react is dependent on a person headcanon of the Empire. If you believe the Empire is RAR EVIL you will think the Empire will level our cities and enslave us to mine ore that is practically useless. If you believe the Empire is evil but mostly benevolent you will think the Empire would show up and plant the flag for Emperor and Empire, Force Save the Emperor, and economically exploit us while trying to civilize us.
Speaking of Tatooine, that is a world that is pretty primitive.
Except it's one of the main bases of operation a powerful interstellar faction, the Hutts. That already makes it an inadequate comparison to Earth.[/quote]

I doubt the Empire set up shop on Tatooine just because Jabba's fat butt (do Hutt's even have butts or are they all butt?) was there.
The Romulan Republic wrote:Sure, Tatooine is primitive. Its just that "primitive" by Star Wars standards includes things like "The farmers' personal robots are outdated" and "Your ship takes weeks rather than days or hours to cross the galaxy."
The robots and starships come from the larger galaxy and isn't native tech. Take them and the blasters away and Tatooine is even more primitive then our own planet. Such tech could easily be given or sold to us without a problem.
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Batman »

Hello? Anakin built 3PO out of spare parts. Everybody uses repulsorlift vehicles for transportation. Having droids to maintain/talk to your farming equipment (which Earth has no equivalent to) is commonplace. The inhabitants of Tattoine routinely maintain, treat as commonplace and manage to cobble together out of local resources technology any modern day scientist would declare 'Can't be done. Call me back in 15,000 years.' In the Star Wars universe, droids and starships and blasters are about as high tech and exotic and we can't do it locally as fossile-fueled cars and guns are today.
Anakin managed to build a fucking podracer.
'Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
'No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.'
'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'
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Re: An unexpected party takes care of ISIS (RAR!)

Post by Metahive »

Joun_Lord wrote:Well you could discuss your headcanon or skullgun. More seriously conjecturing on how the Empire behaves is about all we can do in this scenario. We don't really have any instances of the Empire playing around with a culture around our primitiveness. And how the Empire would even react is dependent on a person headcanon of the Empire. If you believe the Empire is RAR EVIL you will think the Empire will level our cities and enslave us to mine ore that is practically useless. If you believe the Empire is evil but mostly benevolent you will think the Empire would show up and plant the flag for Emperor and Empire, Force Save the Emperor, and economically exploit us while trying to civilize us.
So we can mindlessly speculate about stuff without any sort of firm foundation or we could stick to what we actually see them do in the media they show up in. I vote for the latter and leave the former to theologians.

And that tells us that Palpatine, grand-major-poobah in charge of the Empire is an exceptionally power-hungry and ruthless despot who really would like to see the imperial flag waving over as many worlds as possible and who considers it sound policy to commit planetary genocide for the sake of demonstrating power. Yeah, sorry, but the latter part firmly put the Empire in the "unpleasent" category of major powers and doesn't bode well for any primitive worlds encountered. If they exterminate wealthy and important core-worlds without much thought, what makes you think they will treat a world as inconsequentially weak as ours any better.

That's why I think the Imperials showing up in the OP's scenario are either renegades or impostors, but not representatives of the real deal.
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Saddam’s crime was so bad we literally spent decades looking for our dropped monocles before we could harumph up the gumption to address it
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