A chapter many of you have been waiting for....
Rome Sweet Rome
This is us and our focus. I thought hunting would be awesome.
HOLY SHIT. IT IS THE MOST BORING FOCUS EVER.
And worse - because it gives health boni you just live a longer, more boring live. UGH.
Our realm.
NEW EMPEROR, SAME SHIT.
You know why the AI does this? Because it does not take retinues into account when calculating the total troop strength.I only have around 16k in levies,. So every petty duke can in theory have a chance against me when only levies are looked at.
But: I got 32k in retinues and Varangian guardsmen. High quality troops and all that. I also got superior tech.
This would be so easy to fix but Paradox does not realize this.
'sup, Venice? How does it feel getting plundered over and over again?
Hunting. This was the only fun event chain in hunting.
(this was also the most interesting thing our wife did)
Hunter.
We decided to start our push into Egypt.
While we were busy smashing into the poor Egyptian armies, this happened:
*YAWN*. AGAIN?
You know how it goes...
Good dog.
New titles fix everything.
Life is so much easier when you are not hated by your vassals and got a furry companion. Who knew.
But....
...and this went on and on and on. Every five years a great hunt for the beast, every five years a failure.
We conquered the outskirts of Rome first....
and after the current pope had died, the time had come for a great plan of ours.
...and so, on a winter morning, the commanders of the tagmata were called into the Imperial chamber, a lavishly decorated room dominated by portraits and busts of the two great emeperors and empresses of this dynasty. There was Ioulianos III and the pirate Empress Despina and Cethegus and Gyla. There was only one meeting on this agenda - a return to the birthplace of the empire. The Emperor's voice was decisive and while the proceedings were made in secret, we full well know the Speech Emperor Justinian made to his troops:
"Brave soldiers of Rome. Too long have we been seperated from the waters of the Tiber, from the seven hills and the noble homes of our ancestors. For centuries foreigners have ruled over our patria. No more.
There will be no looting and no pillaging. For we return to our home.
Roma. Roma aeterna."
- The Thanasiad XXVI, 753.
The papal army, weakened by internal strife and mass desertion, was no match for the tagmata.
But the Pope had sent messengers to every prince in christendom. Only one state however dared to come to his help - The holy Roman Empire. Soon, reports came in of massive columns sneaking down the alps, to retake Rome in the name of Catholicism.
The HRE army marched on to Rome...
...only to collectively say NOPE when seeing the Tagmata march towards them in battle order.
The HRE tried to flee towards the north, trying to link up with further reinforcements.
But our superior logistics and military organization helped us catch up with their main column near Perugia.
The battle was short and merciless. Our heavy infantry swept everything before them while our light cavalry skewered any survivors. In one battle, the entire field Army of the HRE perished. Seeing no chance of challenging us, the Emperor of the HRE surrendered.
Rome was ours.
We quickly started a building program and poured massive amounts of funds to restore ruined buildings to their proper function. In particular, the Circus Maximus started rebuilding. After all, the hippodrome of Constantinople needed a twin in the east - and what better than the much older, much more glorious twin of old?
Latium, the cradle of Roman civilization, was once again the Demesne of the Emperor of the Eastern Roman Empire.
ROMA AETERNA.
(tbc in the next post)