To take your example, when women did not have the power to vote, women could not in any way be held responsible for the actions of elected officials even if said officials were elected with 100% of eligible voters.
Now, let's scroll forward to the current state of affairs. I live in Virginia's 3rd Congressional district, which makes my representative in the House one
Bobby Scott. Yes, it's a Wikipedia link, because it's just there to serve as a general summary. Now, the Virginia 3rd is gerrymandered all to hell and gone, such that it's an incredibly safe democratic district, primarily set up that way by packing an enormous number of Richmond-area democratic-leaning blacks into one district so they can't influence races outside the 3rd. In 2014, the Republicans didn't even bother running a candidate at all, because Scott generally wins races with high seventies to low eighties and has only once won with less than 70% of the vote. Now, with all that setup, if Scott did something noxiously vile in office (not betting on it, he's generally fairly chill, but whatever, it's a hypothetical), I would not view as in any way responsible anyone who voted against him or, and this is key, anyone who didn't bother to vote against him but would have if they'd bothered. If it were a competitive district, this would not be the case, because their collective apathy might well have had a measurable effect on Scott's victory. In the conditions that actually exist, however, I can't blame someone for say 'fuck it, why should I bother' when the results of the district's elections are a foregone conclusion.
The same is even true for a Democrat who might be offended by shit he'd hypothetically done. In 2014 he was unopposed, so even if he HAD done some incredibly vile shit, what are you going to do if
nobody's running against the man? Kindly don't spout some Mister Smith Goes To Washington crap about 'run against him yourself' or some such. You and I both know that that shit doesn't fly in the US, and even if it did, most actual real-world people don't have the time or money to do it even if they wanted to.
Now, I'm lucky on a personal level that Scott is generally a fairly decent Representative, but on the flip side I do rather wish that some of the huge mass of black, democratic voters could have bled over into the Virginia 7th, which isn't quite as badly gerrymandered, but bad enough that a full-on Tea Party lunatic was able streak in from the far right and take the election with room to spare. Sadly, I'd moved out of the 7th several months before, so I couldn't vote against him myself. Not that it would have mattered much, given that Dave Brat won with nearly a 14-point spread.
So, in summary, my own vote wouldn't have mattered because of gerrymandering had I been in the 7th (drowned out by pro-Republican districting) and didn't matter where I actually lived in the 3rd (Scott could have beaten the sum total of all write-in candidates with less than a twentieth of his actual votes). Accordingly, no, you're not somehow 'responsible' just because you live in a democracy.