The bad pick-up lines thread

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-20 10:01pm

If anyone has pick-up lines that they think shouldn't be used, either because they've tried them, or they believe any woman would stay away from you if you tried them, then they should post them here. Here are mine:

1. Hey, miss. If you go out with me, I'll stop humping your dog at night.
2. (To someone with coffee) Hey, do you need cream? It's all over my pants now that I've looked at you.
3. *The lyrics to "Hot in Here" by Nelly*
4. If I follow you everywhere and keep telling you stupid pick-up lines, will you go out with me? (That seems to be my case)
5. I'm having an orgasm tonight. I hope you come.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-20 10:08pm

"Were you're parents retarded, because I think you're special"

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-03-20 10:16pm

Ok, time to pulls some out from the black mage.

"Hey would you look at that, my magical watch says you're not wearing panties. Whoops my bad must be an hour fast, must be an hour fast."

"I must be the King of the World, because, baby, your bow is TITANIC!"

"Call it a Sixth Sense, but I can talk to dead people. And your love life is telling me it could do with a resurection."

"Lady, are you a nuerologiest, 'cause DAMN, your body is messin' with my mind!

"I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!"

"Are you from Venus? Cause, baby, yer ass is outta dis world!"

"You don't happen to work at the UPS, do you? 'Cause I coulda swore I saw you checkin' out my package!"

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-03-20 10:19pm

Here's some that are common among my friends.

"Hi, I'm a spaceman, may I eject you pants?"

"The word of the day is legs, lets go over to your place and spread the word"

"Lets play armymen, I'll lay on the bed and you can blow the shit outta me."

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-03-20 10:20pm

6. Do you like tulips? Cause you can plant two on my dick.

*that is not only bad, but very rude. *

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-03-21 12:24am

1. My bed's broken. Can I stay in yours?

2. [for presidents only] Hey, baby. Wanna take a presidential pole?

3. If you were a McDonald's hamburger, they'd call you the McBeautiful.

4. Oooo, la la! Can we Freedom Kiss?

5. If you were any hotter, you'd be on fire.

Use pick-up lines responsibly. Any successful outcome resulting from these lines is not typical. Master of Ossus does not recommend, nor condone, the use of any of these lines.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-21 12:29am

"You have any <insert your ethnic group here> in you?"

"No."

"You want some?"

Sienthal · Post by **Sienthal** » 2003-03-21 01:02am

Hey baby, I'm ugly, you're foul, we have something in common!

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-21 01:26am

"Hey baby, I smell somethin' stinkin', and it must be you, cuz you're the shit!"

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-03-21 01:50am

"The word of the day is legs. Spread the word."

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-03-21 01:55am

"You know what would look good on you? Me."

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-21 02:11am

"Your father must be a butcher, because it looks like someone shoved two fine hams in yo' pants."

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-03-21 08:49am

"Erm.... do you like comic books?"

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-21 08:59am

Weren't you on Jerry Springer?

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Mind if I stand here until it's safe where I farted?

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credit: http://www.funnypickuplines.net/

Rathark · Post by **Rathark** » 2003-03-21 09:29am

"If you were a dinosaur, you'd be Babeasaurus Rex!"

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-03-21 10:20am

Rathark wrote:"If you were a dinosaur, you'd be Babeasaurus Rex!"

Isn't that a Wayne & Garth line?

anarchistbunny: I love the space man one. Very cute.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-03-21 10:26am

"Wanna come over to my place for pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?"

"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me."

"If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning."

"I'll lower my standards if you lower yours."

"I know Milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?"

"Let's go play army: I lay down and you blow the hell out of me."

More as I remember them.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-03-21 10:55am

I personally like, "I lost my teddy bear; can I sleep with you tonight?"

So sweet and innocent and yet...not.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-21 10:58am

You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one."

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-21 11:01am

OK here is a real one:

"The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name."

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-03-21 01:03pm

"Well, I slept with your sister last night, can I sleep with you tonight?"

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-21 01:09pm

aerius wrote:"Well, I slept with your sister last night, can I sleep with you tonight?"

According to Jerry Springer, that line works!

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-21 01:11pm

Zaia, no, that's "If you were a President, you'd be Babraham Lincoln!"

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-03-21 01:18pm

Zoink wrote:You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one."

ROTFLMAO!! That's fucking classic.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-03-21 02:25pm

Lets make like a puzzle and see if our pieces fit.

Hot Damn, I'm getting cavities just looking at choo.