Data fights a Grizzly Bear

[APlayerHater]

Commander Data is beamed down to Alaska. He lacks a phaser, but can be armed with any one melee weapon seen on the show of your choice, or he could try punching it to death. Since a Kodiak seems to be the bear most commonly used in bear vs debates, that's the kind of bear I'm going with.

Given some wikipedia stat searching, let's just say the bear weighs 490 kg (1080 lbs, probably,) and from various testimonials from random people on the internet, it seems these bears can rip car doors off and lift about 500 kg. People have claimed they can tear through steel with their claws, but who knows, probably not.

Data will be show Data and not movie Data, for fight purposes. Memory alpha has him at roughly 37.7 kg (83 lbs I think). Doesn't sound right but that's what you get with throw away dialogue. Another episode has him at 100 kg, so let's just go with that. He has some kind of fancy polyalloy spinal support and a skull made of cortenide and duranium. I'm not sure how strong he's supposed to be, as he goes anywhere from being overpowered by three ferengi and being stopped from stabbing Troy by Worf and Riker, to holding a speeding taxi cab in place with one hand and bending a steel rod without any effort. Some other throw away line (from the offspring) says he has the strength of ten men, so let's just go with that. He can lift 910 kg, why not.

That being said, he's been effectively killed (well, knocked offline) by being lanced by a cancerous blacksmith with a steel/iron(?) rod, as well as damaged by being shot with an arrow (although it had no effect). He has some kind of fluid lubrication system that could probably be torn open, but I don't know that doing so would really slow him down.

Now, assuming Data's emotion chip is offline, the bear doesn't know about his offswitch and can't hit it, and some error has defaulted Data to creepy killer android mode, Data enters the bear's den offering everything flatly quizzical looks. The bear, fully awake and alert, rears up and then settles back down. The bear then stalks left and right for a bit before turning, trotting forward and then settling into a charge. The fight ends when Data is rendered incapable of fighting or is taken offline, same for the bear. Data's emotion chip is offline and his ethical program is compromised, he knows no mercy. The bear sees Data as a threat, so no 'robot appliances are invisible to animals' tomfoolery.

So, any idea how this would go?

[Borgholio]

This has to be one of the most ludicrous questions I have seen in a very long time.

That said, the bear would take Data apart. Their claws CAN pierce sheet metal and they can disassemble a car in short order.

[The Romulan Republic]

What about Data being armed? Does that make no difference?

[Eternal_Freedom]

Wel if Data has a phaser, disruptor or similar the bear probably dies in one max-power shot. If he has a modern firearm, well, it depends on the gun. If it's a big-calibre hunting rifle then he'll fire off as many rounds as he can then close in to finish the bear with his hands.

If he isn't armed, I hope he knows a good mechanic in Alaska.

[The Romulan Republic]

The OP specified a melee weapon.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Oh yeah. Well I doubt a batleth or any other Klingon weapon will be much use. In fact, unless he's allowed to use melee weapons from 40K I think he's still screwed.

[APlayerHater]

It's kind of hard to say because we never really see Data hurt by anything (as far as I remember), except in that one episode with the blacksmith where he gets absolutely trashed. Usually, Worf's klingon bad luck field naturally diverts all ass kicking onto himself, leaving Data unharmed and looking actually competent. What if every time the bear attacked, he hit Worf instead?

For some reason, I see arming Data with a batleth as only decreasing his chances of winning. I guess I just don't hold klingons in high regard. Movies-onward they're a laughably pathetic joke. They're never demonstrated as being stronger or tougher than humans; as far as I can tell they're weaker and less durable, and terrible warriors. Picard was able to hold his own against two armed and armored assassins.

I picked TNG era melee weapons, seen on the show, since obviously you could just vaporize the bear with a phaser.

Anyway, this is about bears, not men.

How about Lore and his borg minions? Let's say five drones. This is assuming you're on the "Data loses easily" side.

Also curious how you'd think a klingon boarding party would handle a bear.

[Borgholio]

Are you just going to keep ratcheting up the odds until the bear is overmatched? Why would Lore or the Borg care about a bear in the first place?

[APlayerHater]

Well I don't know. If the bear obviously wins then... There you go. Not much point in continuing in that vein.

[bilateralrope]

Can Data throw something, either a melee weapon he starts with or something picked up from the environment, well enough to end the fight before the bear gets close ?

[Patroklos]

Oh yeah. Well I doubt a batleth or any other Klingon weapon will be much use. In fact, unless he's allowed to use melee weapons from 40K I think he's still screwed.

A batleth to the head with the full force we know Data can use would turn that bear's skull inside out. Similarly if he can get ahold of any of the bears limbs he can just snap them like tooth picks and or rip them off the bear entirely. The only real question is if data can avoid an initial swipe from the bear with a possibly penetrating claw. If he can get inside the bears reach its all over. Data was shown picking up an good sized steel anvil, that's definitely in the ton range or lifting strength.

I don't think we have ever seen the equivalent of a broken bone on Data but we have seen him (or other similar androids) dismembered so presumably the bear could do that if he got ahold of him. I just don't see that happening without Data again snapping every bear bone in reach.

[APlayerHater]

Can Data throw something, either a melee weapon he starts with or something picked up from the environment, well enough to end the fight before the bear gets close ?

Makes sense to me. He could probably rub two sticks together, light himself on fire, and hug the bear to death. Whatever you can think of to influence the matter, given the stated rules.

He can run out of the den, but he can't outrun the bear, so if he's going to macgyver anything it has to be on short notice. I have no doubt he could think of something quickly, so anything he can improvise in, I don't know. Maybe the 30-seconds to a minute he might have before he has to engage.

[TheFeniX]

As noted in the Data vs Pred thread: the same episode Data got skewered, he easily lifted an anvil like it was a cheap prop. I doubt he would have issue crushing a bear's skull or punching one hard enough, or stabbing it with a spear, to get through enough fat to kill it. But he also can't weigh that much more than a normal person considering his job is being on a starship, he doesn't sink into soft ground, nor does wood crack under his weight. Male Kodiaks can weight around 1500+Lbs and one could easily ragdoll Data with a swipe of it's arm. They also stand 2-3 times the height of a grown man. They are terrifyingly huge and powerful.

Horses can scare me if I start thinking about how easily they could fuck my world up and those things don't eat meat. And a Kodiak can be bigger than they are. They are more in-line with Clydesdales and one of those things could kick Data into orbit.

If the grizzly decides to bum rush Data, knock him to the ground, and start chowing down: Data could get hands on it's head since pain isn't an issue for him. That said, a grizzly could decide to instead just smash the ever-loving shit out of him with it's claws or stomp on him using his weight. I don't know how much blunt-force trauma Data can take, but having his body smashed against rock walls can't be good for his resale value.

That said, if you're one hardcore motherfucker, you can choke a bear out with your own teeth, then club it to death to show why man is on the top of the food chain.

Rocky Mountain Grizzly Bear Jackson Hole, Wyoming This bear was taken by world famous hunter and hunting guide C. Dale Petersen of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It is one of only two grizzlies known to have been killed "without" the use of modern weaponry. Verified by game biologists, Mr. Petersen killed this bear with his hands, and oddly enough, his teeth. It is known that this bear had been aggravated by a group of backpackers, shortly thereafter, Petersen, unaware of previous happenings, came upon the bear. A fight-to-the-death ensued. Petersen, having his right hand and arm wedged in the bear's throat, actually used his own teeth and jaws to pinch off the bear's jugular vein. When the bear passed-out from the lack blood flow to the brain, Petersen beat the bear in the head with a stick.

[bilateralrope]

Can Data throw something, either a melee weapon he starts with or something picked up from the environment, well enough to end the fight before the bear gets close ?

Makes sense to me. He could probably rub two sticks together, light himself on fire, and hug the bear to death. Whatever you can think of to influence the matter, given the stated rules.

He can run out of the den, but he can't outrun the bear, so if he's going to macgyver anything it has to be on short notice. I have no doubt he could think of something quickly, so anything he can improvise in, I don't know. Maybe the 30-seconds to a minute he might have before he has to engage.

The plan I've got questions about is a simple plan:
- Data gets something with some weight to it. It could be a rock, it could be a branch ripped off a tree. It doesn't need to be sharp.
- He throws it at the bear with all the force he can, trying to break bones.
- Get something else, repeat steps 1 and 2 till the bear is dealt with.

[APlayerHater]

The plan I've got questions about is a simple plan:
- Data gets something with some weight to it. It could be a rock, it could be a branch ripped off a tree. It doesn't need to be sharp.
- He throws it at the bear with all the force he can, trying to break bones.
- Get something else, repeat steps 1 and 2 till the bear is dealt with.

Could probably one shot the bear with a thrown boulder to the head (maybe gorn tier boulder throwing, but definitely faster), I'm sure he's fairly accurate with throwing things. He might be able to push a tree onto it and pin it/do some damage.

[TheFeniX]

The plan I've got questions about is a simple plan:
- Data gets something with some weight to it. It could be a rock, it could be a branch ripped off a tree. It doesn't need to be sharp.
- He throws it at the bear with all the force he can, trying to break bones.
- Get something else, repeat steps 1 and 2 till the bear is dealt with.

Bears are fast. This plan fails once Data gets creamed by a 1500Lbs bear hitting him at 20mph when he stops to chuck a rock. That said, this is probably beneficial to Data. Bear knocks him down, starts trying to eat/maul him, Data grabs it's neck with his hands, bear passes out or dies from asphyxiation from either a blood choke or a crushed larynx. Baring a lucky hit disabling Data, I would bet on Data in that fight since a human, who feared death and responds to pain but kept his shit together long enough to do what needed to be done, has killed a bear in this way. Data is stronger, faster, and a lot more durable.

As big and tough as bears are, they still deal with all the little bullshit animals on this plant have to deal with. All that power can be shut down by tightening the spigot on a tiny tube or hitting the hard plate that covers the brain, which isn't protected by layers of skin, fat, and muscle to absorb the impact.

[Simon_Jester]

I'm actually not sure Data's tougher than a bear; do we routinely see Data handle serious blunt-force trauma better than a (moderately toughened and enhanced) human would?

Now, Data will handle major injury to any one point better than a bear, because his critical load-bearing body parts are reinforced metal that even a bear will have trouble damaging- impaling him with a spear is less likely to impede his function.

A good choice of melee weapon for Data would be something like a boar spear, which has a crosspiece in place to keep things from charging right up the shaft and impaling themselves.

If he can severely wound the bear, reducing its mobility, without getting into a grapple, he then has a reasonable chance of outmaneuvering the beast and/or beating it with heavy thrown objects from a distance.

[Enigma]

Data walks along the bottom of a lake I believe in ST:Insurrection, unless I'm mistaken. How heavy would he have to be able to walk normally underwater?

[Patroklos]

You could do the same if you didn't have air in your lungs.

Also that is from the movies which are disqualified. If we have movie Data then we have an android that can take a dozen plus 5.62mm rounds to the chest/back without a thought. Also one that can take the impact of falling seven stories without damage.

[Terralthra]

Show Data can bend a 2-inch thick metal (duranium?) bar without much in the way of effort:

[Darth Tanner]

Seeing as Data gets to choose a melee weapon of his choice from the show I'd say this is a silly question seeing as people without super human reflexes and strength can kill a bear with a spear... only down side is that a dedicated bear spear is out as it has never appeared and the spears that have appeared are not really ideal for something like a bear.

[Channel72]

All of this assumes the bear would even attack Data. Why would it necessarily attack him at all, given that it would clearly smell he is not composed of flesh that can be consumed? I would think the bear might just growl at him. Data could then perhaps get close enough to just punch through the bear's skull, and we're done.

[Terralthra]

Quote from the OP: "The bear sees Data as a threat, so no 'robot appliances are invisible to animals' tomfoolery."

[Batman]

The bear doesn't 'have' to be hungry to fight Data. 'Dude you just stepped on my lawn' is absolutely sufficient (leave alone the bear in question being a female with cubs) and while Data could likely avoid this by simply removing himself from the situation that also kinda nixes the whole setup.

[Tribble]

Battles like these are what brings life to the forum. Seriously, what inspired you to come up with this?

To all those naysayers out there about the plausibility of this fight, just remember that it's actually far more likely to happen than say data fighting a predator or Jedi. Getting the ladder involved would require some tech tech solution, wormhole or someone like Q getting involved, while chances are there are grizzlies still on 24th century earth (just very few whales ). And Riker is from Alaska. They could have gone on a camping trip and after ambushing and eating Riker the Grizzly wanted dessert. Or it might not like Data's face. Bears can be rather temperamental.