Alaska congressman suggests using wolves to end homelessness

[Borgholio]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/in- ... elessness/

Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young, famous for his salty tongue and brusque demeanor, suggested Thursday that if he let loose wolves in some congressional districts, they “wouldn’t have a homeless problem anymore.”

The strange comment was made during a halting five-minute exchange with Interior Secretary Sally Jewell during a House Natural Resources Committee hearing on her agency’s budget. He accused her and her department of making decisions without consulting the states they’d affect.

Young, who supports taking gray wolves off the endangered species list, mocked a letter 79 members of Congress sent urging Jewell to protect the gray wolf population. (In Alaska, for what it’s worth, you can hunt wolves.)

“How many of you have got wolves in your district?” he asked. “None. None. Not one.”

“They haven’t got a damn wolf in their whole district,” Young continued. “I’d like to introduce them in your district. If I introduced them in your district, you wouldn’t have a homeless problem anymore.”

We sought clarification to ensure we heard correctly. A spokesman for Young said the “analogy was purposely hyperbolic to stress the point that these predators pose serious threats to wildlife management and their listing has damaging impacts to local communities.”

[LadyTevar]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That spin won't make the full revolution.

[Zaune]

Even if he was employing sarcasm, irony and/or reductio ad absurdium, he should still think twice before saying this kind of thing. It might give some of his less level-headed fellow Congresspersons ideas.

[SpottedKitty]

Some people don't realise Jonathan Swift was writing satire when he came up with A Modest Proposal...

[Grumman]

Some people don't realise Jonathan Swift was writing satire when he came up with A Modest Proposal...

And Borgholio appears to be top of the list.

Don Young is not suggesting using wolves to end homelessness. He is saying "Protect the wolves? You stupid bastards, wolves eat people!"

[General Zod]

Some people don't realise Jonathan Swift was writing satire when he came up with A Modest Proposal...

And Borgholio appears to be top of the list.

Don Young is not suggesting using wolves to end homelessness. He is saying "Protect the wolves? You stupid bastards, wolves eat people!"

That doesn't actually help his case, since there's scarcely any verifiable records of wolves attacking humans. It just makes him ignorant instead of a malicious douche.

[Grumman]

Don Young is not suggesting using wolves to end homelessness. He is saying "Protect the wolves? You stupid bastards, wolves eat people!"

That doesn't actually help his case, since there's scarcely any verifiable records of wolves attacking humans. It just makes him ignorant instead of a malicious douche.

Wolves in North America have killed people who were up, healthy and moving about. Even if he is overstating the threat those same wolves would present to people who are sick, mentally ill, impaired by drugs or simply asleep, that is still nowhere near as bad as the bullshit Borgholio was trying to pin on him.

[GuppyShark]

Since you've contradicted General Zod, can you provide a source for your assertion that wolves hunt humans for food?

[Grumman]

Since you've contradicted General Zod, can you provide a source for your assertion that wolves hunt humans for food?

My assertion was that wolves have killed humans, not specifically that they were hunted for food. The report on the death of Kenton Joel Carnegie does not appear to be available online, but the one for Candice Berner is.

DNA evidence and wolf tracks observed at the scene indicate that two to four wolves were likely involved in the attack. One wolf was an adult female (2010-37) in excellent body condition with no apparent health issues. DNA matching this wolf was most prevalent in the forensic samples. The fate(s) of any other wolves involved in the attack are unknown. Based on the body condition of the wolves culled and on the number of prey species (moose and snowshoe hares) observed in the area, starvation or severe hunger were probably not factors in the attack. However, the
amount of time since the wolves’ last meal is unknown.

Snow track evidence suggests the attack itself was brief, and the deceased was quickly incapacitated. One or two wolves pursued her down the road and attacked while another wolf approached from above the road and intercepted her. Based on evidence in the snow, she died 40 feet from that location.

Depressions in the snow and eyewitness accounts indicated that the body was dragged twice after her death, toward an area with more brush cover. It is possible that the wolves attempted to move her body out of the clearing in response to noise from approaching snowmachines. Her body was moved to its final location after the person guarding her body left the area when he saw a wolf nearby. When a group of residents returned to retrieve the body, it had been moved farther down
the hill to a location with brush cover, and more of it had been consumed.

[Napoleon the Clown]

Wolves that lack regular contact with humans tend to flee. Even if they're currently eating. There's something about humans that wolves naturally fear. When they have regular contact with people, though, that fear goes away and they are more likely to be aggressive if the person gets too close. Ultimately, though, wolves would prefer to just not have anything to do with humans. They'll go after livestock, sure. But they don't look at humans and go "FOOD!" Unless they've been around enough people to realize that a lone human probably isn't dangerous, their reaction is "Fuck, flee!"

And I really doubt that a rancher is going to be in trouble for shooting a wolf (or wolves) that are trying to eat his livestock. Or attack him.


Don Young mostly just has a raging murderboner going and wants an excuse to kill things. Shooting a deer isn't nearly badass enough, so let's make it a wolf!

[GuppyShark]

He is saying "Protect the wolves? You stupid bastards, wolves eat people!"

My assertion was that wolves have killed humans, not specifically that they were hunted for food.

Anyway, Carnegie was in 2005, Berner in 2010. These cases are what we would call an outlier. Suggesting that the presence of wolves is a legitimate concern for the welfare of the human population is like worrying about being hit by a meteorite.

[Zaune]

Wolves that lack regular contact with humans tend to flee. Even if they're currently eating. There's something about humans that wolves naturally fear

Guns, probably, and bows or spears before that.

[Raw Shark]

IN A WORLD ruled by oil and gold, where the sun dares not to show its face for half of the year, one endangered species is unleashed upon another!

[action shots of wolves and homeless people totally ruining each others' weekends... pack tactics + hamstringing, Mad Dog 20/20 molotov cocktails, what-have-you]

Until ONE MAN, raised by the feral dogs of the streets, unites both sides against the common foe...

[flashback footage of the Young Hero running barefoot through snowy alleyways and wrestling with mangy mutts and loving it; getting beat up by the cops and rescued by homeless-people-eating wolves; leading dozens of wolves and hobos on a raid against a guarded mansion and dragging some privileged asshole who signed off on the homeless people get eaten thing in an earlier scene off kicking and screaming]

Rutger Hauer stars in... WILD HUNT.

[General Zod]

Since you've contradicted General Zod, can you provide a source for your assertion that wolves hunt humans for food?

My assertion was that wolves have killed humans, not specifically that they were hunted for food. The report on the death of Kenton Joel Carnegie does not appear to be available online, but the one for Candice Berner is.

My assertion was that attacks were scarce, not non-existent.

[Zeropoint]

IN A WORLD ruled by oil and gold, where the sun dares not to show its face for half of the year, one endangered species is unleashed upon another!

[action shots of wolves and homeless people totally ruining each others' weekends... pack tactics + hamstringing, Mad Dog 20/20 molotov cocktails, what-have-you]

Until ONE MAN, raised by the feral dogs of the streets, unites both sides against the common foe...

[flashback footage of the Young Hero running barefoot through snowy alleyways and wrestling with mangy mutts and loving it; getting beat up by the cops and rescued by homeless-people-eating wolves; leading dozens of wolves and hobos on a raid against a guarded mansion and dragging some privileged asshole who signed off on the homeless people get eaten thing in an earlier scene off kicking and screaming]

Rutger Hauer stars in... WILD HUNT.

I'd watch it.

[Kingmaker]

That headline is either blatantly dishonest or written by an idiot. What kind of moron read that comment and concluded he was advocating feeding homeless people to wolves?

[Borgholio]

that is still nowhere near as bad as the bullshit Borgholio was trying to pin on him.

What bullshit? It came from his own mouth. I don't care if he intended it to be satire or not, HE SAID IT.

“I’d like to introduce them in your district. If I introduced them in your district, you wouldn’t have a homeless problem anymore.”

That headline is either blatantly dishonest or written by an idiot.

See above.

hat kind of moron read that comment and concluded he was advocating feeding homeless people to wolves?

Seeing as how his handler had to scramble to backpedal to try and put the "correct" words in his mouth, I'd say that a great many people thought he was serious, or at least wanted to make sure he wasn't.

[Kingmaker]

Seeing as how his handler had to scramble to backpedal to try and put the "correct" words in his mouth, I'd say that a great many people thought he was serious, or at least wanted to make sure he wasn't.

Or perhaps there's just a legion of dishonest fuckwits.

[Borgholio]

Or perhaps there's just a legion of dishonest fuckwits.

So an elected representative said that they should feed homeless people to wolves. Satire or not, that's what he said. And people report that he said they should feed homeless people to wolves.

This is dishonest...how?

[Napoleon the Clown]

There are many implying he's saying that the solution to homelessness is to feed them to the wolves, when his message was "wolves are dangerous and I'll use this an example that will make sense to them dumb city folk."

Nevermind that his example is absurd. It's less callous than the soundbite comes across, but it's still stupid as hell. More people are killed by white male humans than by wolves. If "danger" is a factor then his logic suggests we should declare open season on white dudes.

[Patroklos]

Or perhaps there's just a legion of dishonest fuckwits.

So an elected representative said that they should feed homeless people to wolves. Satire or not, that's what he said. And people report that he said they should feed homeless people to wolves.

This is dishonest...how?

Please point to his use of the word "should."

[Borgholio]

Please point to his use of the word "should."

Please explain how the use of the word "should" makes any difference compared to the phrase "I’d like".

[Patroklos]

Gladly. I'd like to spend every cent of my money on a sailing yacht and travel the world as a friendly swash buckling pirate. I simultaneously know and freely confess I shouldn't.

You are being daft here, move on.

[Borgholio]

You are being daft here, move on.

And you are dodging the question. How is it dishonest to report word for word what it is the congressman said?

[Patroklos]

You didn't report it word for word. You reported it word for word, and then intentionally and as we now know dishonestly invented a meaning nobody but you agrees applies in the slightest. The diverse cast that has informed you of this should tell you something.