A little background is in order. After the 1996 elections the GOP threw a major tantrum. They had been thrashed twice by Bill Clinton, and their efforts to smear him ("He can't control his zipper, his waistline or his wife!") only made him more popular with normal people. The Whitewater investigation turned up nothing on Bubba or Hillary, so the prosecutor was fired by a right-wing judge at the behest of white supremacist senator Jesse "the Hutt" Helms (R-KKK) and replaced with a right-wing crackpot who went about sniffing Bubba's sheets.The Huffington Post | By Sam Levine
Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) paid a man $3.5 million to stay quiet about a sexual relationship from when Hastert was a high school teacher, according to multiple reports on Friday.
The reports of Hastert's conduct came after he was indicted Thursday for deliberately structuring cash withdrawals to avoid bank reporting requirements and lying to the FBI. According to the indictment, Hastert used the funds to pay an unnamed individual who attended the school where Hastert taught before serving in Congress.
The indictment said the funds were paid for "prior misconduct." It did not include details of the misconduct, but law enforcement officials on Friday said it was sexual in nature. Sources told The New York Times that the man Hastert paid had told authorities the former Speaker had inappropriately touched him decades ago. NBC News reported that Hastert had a "sexual relationship" with a student at Yorkville High School while he taught there.
Hastert worked at the Yorkville, Illinois, school from 1965 to 1981 and also coached the school's football and wrestling teams. The school district released a statement on Friday saying it had no knowledge of any misconduct by Hastert.
His efforts paid off when he discovered to his horror that a middle-aged man might have an affair with a much younger woman. Since fellatio was perfectly legal for straight couples at the time, the prosecutor did what so many of them do as a last resort: trumping up charges of perjury, obstruction and contempt. This was somewhat clever, since married men who have affairs tend to lie ("I had to work late. No, really.") and cover them up. The problem was twofold for the Republicans in the House, most of whom came from racially gerrymandered districts where the voters had a seething hatred for black people and those they considered too friendly to them (it was an article of faith among them that Clinton had a love child with a black crack whore):
1) They got elected by fomenting a deranged level of hatred for Clinton, so letting sleeping dogs lie wasn't an option.
2) Quite a few of them were also middle-aged men who had a hankering for young women on the side, among other things.
Since Republicans are a stupid and shameless bunch, they tried to be brazen about it and went ahead with impeaching Clinton, hoping to blackmail him into going away. I can't begin to list all the dirty laundry that ended up coming out, but suffice it to say that Clinton's cum stains on Monica's dress were a snowflake on the tip of the iceberg compared to what his accusers were up to. Like Queen Cersei in last week's episode of Game of Thrones, they had turned loose the Puritan mob and found themselves set upon by the hounds they had unleashed. Once Speaker Gingrich knew the hounds had picked up his trail, he resigned and slithered away. His replacement, Bob Livingston, was also exposed as an adulterer, liar and all-around douchebag and he also ran away with his tail between his legs.
This left Dennis Hastert third in line to be chief executive should any mishap have befallen Clinton and Gore (or later, Bush and Cheney). So the end result of that year-long witch scare was putting an alleged child molester within two heartbeats of the presidency. Nice going, assholes.