....wasn't this thread about Waterloo and Napoleon?
I mean, if cmdrjones wants to growl about the poor widdle South being invaded in the War of Southern Aggres....er, I mean, the American Civil War, shouldn't we do that in another topic?
But just in case people want to stay here.
First things first. Hey, Jones? Newsflash:
I hate the fucking Spartans too. At best, I have a glimmer of respect for Brasidas, the same way I might have for Cleburne or Joe Johnston or Longstreet. My favorite figure in classical Greece is the Theban leader Epaminondas. Aka
the guy who kicked the Spartans out of Messenia and liberated the helots. And the guy who's never had a movie made about him, which sucks, although admittedly a lot of sources about him were lost over time, so that probably contributed.
I admit I'm not an expert on the Achaemenid Persians, but wasn't their entire system a theocratic monarchy where the Great King was the embodiment of Ahura Mazda, where he called even satraps his slaves and where anyone's life or property could be taken at his whim? If not, I'll gladly read sources that show where this is incorrect. I love learning new stuff about history.
Now, on to the War of Southern Aggression.
The South, from the 1820s on,
repeatedly acted to threaten the Union on behalf of their economic and social system, centered on slavery. The South attempted to push through censorship laws that violated the 1st Amendment to stop abolitionist literature in the mails.
Pacifist Abolitionist literature at that, as in the 1830s the abolitionists were primarily pacifists and their literature wasn't addressed to black slaves but their white owners, attempting moral conversion!
The South spent
nine years attacking the civil liberties of American citizens with the gag rule in the House, made specifically to prevent people from making any petitions relating to slavery. Southern congressmen attempted to gerrymander the Committees of the House to stack them with Southerners. Southerners threatened to
murder abolitionists. Southern Congressmen twice attempted to censure US Rep. John Quincy Adams, once because he *gasp*
presented a petition from slaves and then because he presented a petition from a town in Pennsylvania calling for - wait for it, maximum irony -
dissolution of the Union, because they were tired of Southern suppression of American civil liberties! Adams himself got to snark about how he was being attacked from a quarter that had, it was known, made so many "calculations" about the "worth of Union".
On top of that, despite all protests of "states' rights", the South pushed through enforcement of fugitive slave laws that used federal power over local state power on the issue of suspected fugitives, including a provision that gave financial incentive for the commissioner - not a judge or jury - to find a suspected fugitive to be a slave
even if he was free.
Diplomatically Southerners and Southern-aligned politicians embarrassed the United States with the notorious Oostend Manifesto, which made what was effectively a threat against Spain that if it did not negotiate selling Cuba to the United States, the US government would invade Cuba if it deemed it necessary (that is, if, say, Spain ordered abolition of the African slaves in Cuba, or if there was a slave revolt). Southerners kept the United States from recognizing the Republic of Haiti until the Civil War. Southerners used violence against free settlers in Kansas, provoking men like John Brown into counter-reprisal. A Southern Congressman
assaulted a United States Senator on the floor of the Senate, injuring him so badly he took months to recover, and the reaction from the South was a flood of new canes with the message "Hit him again!"
Then we have the
Dred Scott decision. Hoo boy. Instead of the simple expedient of "He's a slave, he can't petition the courts", Taney - a Southerner, mind you - went further, declaring the provisions of the Missouri Compromise unconstitutional and that slavery could not be forbidden in
any territory, thus opening up every section of the United States that was not already an organized state to slavery. Which, naturally,
infuriated the non-slave states.
And then, finally, in 1860 the South collectively helped Lincoln win by dogmatically splitting the Democratic Party instead of accepting the Douglas candidacy, and upon the results of this fuckup, they promptly began seceding because "OMG them Republicans are comin' for our darkies!", during which they fired on a federal fort!
And as a final note, what do we find when we read the CSA constitution? Link:
http://avalon.law.yale.edu/19th_century/csa_csa.asp
Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution of the Confederate States of America wrote:
(4) No bill of attainder, ex post facto law, or law denying or impairing the right of property in negro slaves shall be passed.
Article IV, Section 3 of the Constitution of the Confederate States of America wrote:
(3) The Confederate States may acquire new territory; and Congress shall have power to legislate and provide governments for the inhabitants of all territory belonging to the Confederate States, lying without the limits of the several Sates; and may permit them, at such times, and in such manner as it may by law provide, to form States to be admitted into the Confederacy. In all such territory the institution of negro slavery, as it now exists in the Confederate States, shall be recognized and protected be Congress and by the Territorial government; and the inhabitants of the several Confederate States and Territories shall have the right to take to such Territory any slaves lawfully held by them in any of the States or Territories of the Confederate States.
Well
lookie what we have here! States are not allowed to ban
negro slavery - you can ban slavery of whites but by God blacks are staying in chains! - and Territories have to permit them too! What was that about states' rights? After all, in the Union under the Constitution, any slave state could
choose to undo slavery. Virginia was voting on it at one point, I'll remind you, Delaware actually did on its own initiative during the war, and in the first decades of the Union the New England and Upper Mid-Atlantic States all ended slavery. But under the Confederate Constitution? Nope! States and Territories don't have the right to say no to slavery, they need a Constitutional Amendment!
Article I, Section 2 of the Constitution of the Confederate States of America wrote:
Sec. 2. (I) The House of Representatives shall be composed of members chosen every second year by the people of the several States; and the electors in each State shall be citizens of the Confederate States, and have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the State Legislature; but no person of foreign birth, not a citizen of the Confederate States, shall be allowed to vote for any officer, civil or political, State or Federal.
Oh look, another right of the states taken away. Under the Constitution of those damned states' rights-hating Northerners, states pick their own electoral law. Not in my states' rights haven, good sir! After all, some liberal lily-livers might actually let
brown people vote. Or even, dare I say it,
free blacks. OH THE HUMANITY!
And I'm not even getting into the various ordinances of secession which specifically cited tha perceived threat to negro slavery as a justification for secession.
Hell, even if you take Persia as the land of freemen under their Great King and Greece as a slave society, the Confederacy still has
less justification than the Greeks. The States of the South had entered into a fair compact with the other states. A compact that the states of the North had honored, even after the South began to
fucking abuse it, beginning with the three-fifths clause artificially inflating their proper representation! The Northern states did not secede, or even threaten to, over the gag rule. They did not threaten to secede over the attempt to censor the mail. They did not do so when one of their Senators was violently assaulted on the Senate floor, or all the times the South's representatives tried to block their people from congressional appointments and committees. The Haverhill petition that saw John Quincy Adams put in the figurative dock was just a petition from members of one community.
The South?
Constant threats of secession. Constant blackmail against the other states if they didn't get their way, tempered only by Unionist moderates in the South. And finally.... oh my God, Lincoln was elected because we split the Democrats! THE NORTH IS AFTER OUR GUNS, ER, OUR DARKIES! WE MUST SECEDE!!!!
You know what? I've come to a conclusion recently. The American Civil War, boiled down... is about a junkie violently attacking his brother because said brother said something that made him think his drugs were going to be taken from him.
That's what the South was.
A crazed fucking junkie lashing out to protect his drugs.