An Apology

SLAM: debunk creationism, pseudoscience, and superstitions. Discuss logic and morality.

Moderator: Alyrium Denryle

Locked
SMJB
Padawan Learner
Posts: 186
Joined: 2013-06-16 08:56pm

An Apology

Post by SMJB »

Hey. I don't know how many of you were here the last time I was here, or remember me, but I made this thread about non-Black people saying the N-word, arguing that it wasn't necessarily offensive.

First of all, that was racist of me. That's not the only thing I have to say here, but it's the most important thing, so if there's only one thing you take away from this thread, please let it be that I acknowledge the fact that I was in fact being a racist little asshole and I'm sorry.

I wasn't being malicious. I wasn't even arguing for myself, as everyone assumed. I was...not quite playing the Devil's Advocate, as I was being wholly sincere, but the same sort of overly pretentious, look-at-how-smart-and-philosophical-and-emotionally-detatched-I-am logic was in effect. I'm...not entirely sure what I thought my point was, beyond the whole "If someone trapped alone on a desert island *did* spend their days shouting racial obscenities at the sky, what would be the harm?" thing, especially seeing how I didn't think arguing back when someone says "Don't say that, it's racist" was acceptable behavior or anything else, and upon reflection, it is not a thing that fucking needed to be said, especially not in a way that lends credence to the latter viewpoint. So again, sorry.

(There was another thread that was accused of being racist at the same time. I don't remember all that well, but I'm pretty sure that one was just very, very poor word choice on my part. Still, memory can sometimes be self-serving, and even if that's an accurate description it's still on me for screwing the proverbial pooch, so sorry.)

Sorry.

That being said, the assholes who gaslit me and ran me off the board are still fucking assholes. If you're reading this, fuck you Metahive and whoever else it was. Yeah, I was hiding the fact that I was neurodivergent, and maybe you didn't realize just how traumatizing it would be for me, but that is no better an excuse for your actions than my ignorance was for mine.

It took me a long, long fucking time to come to grips with the fact that this wasn't a "false accusation of racism." I continued to refer to it as such long after I began to notice the racist nature of incidents like that that involved other people, and it is probably largely because it was such a traumatic experience for me that this was the case. Basically, you did the exact fucking opposite of helping.

(It also took me a long time to, you know, screw up the courage for this apology.)

Granted, it wasn't your job to help me get over my racism or whatever. I'm not going to hound you for your own apologies or anything like that. That's not what this is about. But it is still what happened and I still hate you for it. Just so long as everyone's good with that, we can move on.

Sorry (heh) if that last bit, like, ruins this apology for you all or whatever, but I'm not apologizing to be forgiven; I'm apologizing because that's what you do when you're wrong, and that's what I was. Wrong.

TL;DR--Sorry for being a racist asshole. You ableist dickbags.
Simon_Jester wrote:"WHERE IS YOUR MISSILEGOD NOW!?"
Starglider wrote:* Simon stared coldly across the table at the student, who had just finnished explaining the link between the certainty of young earth creation and the divinely ordained supremacy of the white race. "I am updating my P values", Simon said through thinned lips, "to a direction and degree you will find... most unfavourable."
User avatar
Hillary
Jedi Master
Posts: 1261
Joined: 2005-06-29 11:31am
Location: Londinium

Re: An Apology

Post by Hillary »

This is going to end well....
What is WRONG with you people
Channel72
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 2068
Joined: 2010-02-03 05:28pm
Location: New York

Re: An Apology

Post by Channel72 »

I don't really remember your racist rants - but I do remember that hilarious quote in your sig. Now I have to find the context which led Simon Jester to say it.

Regardless, most people aren't likely to respond well to "qualified" apologies.
Adam Reynolds
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 2354
Joined: 2004-03-27 04:51am

Re: An Apology

Post by Adam Reynolds »

Channel72 wrote:I don't really remember your racist rants - but I do remember that hilarious quote in your sig. Now I have to find the context which led Simon Jester to say it.

Regardless, most people aren't likely to respond well to "qualified" apologies.
In case you are wondering, it was here.
User avatar
Steve
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 9774
Joined: 2002-07-03 01:09pm
Location: Florida USA
Contact:

Re: An Apology

Post by Steve »

I understand if you still feel angry about things, but you completely undermined your apology by not just bringing it back up, but then calling out your antagonist by name. That makes this seem like less of a real apology and more like a passive-aggressive one. Even accounting for what you're saying - that the way you were confronted did nothing to convince you at the time and only prolonged your bad behavior - bringing it up this way and in this manner was a mistake. So yes, you're probably going to catch hell for it. Take your lumps and move on, it's the best way to deal with it.

That said, good on you for realizing the issue. It's not always easy to look back and realize "Wow, I was a colossal moron, wasn't I?", or to have to give up previously-held beliefs and thoughts. It's just a step you have to take to mature as a person and improve. I wish you good luck for that endeavor and others.
”A Radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism." - Sir Winston L. S. Churchill, Princips Britannia

American Conservatism is about the exercise of personal responsibility without state interference in the lives of the citizenry..... unless, of course, it involves using the bludgeon of state power to suppress things Conservatives do not like.

DONALD J. TRUMP IS A SEDITIOUS TRAITOR AND MUST BE IMPEACHED
Simon_Jester
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 30165
Joined: 2009-05-23 07:29pm

Re: An Apology

Post by Simon_Jester »

Yeah.

The problem is that people who are apologizing for being stupid tend to have been emotionally worked up at the time, and the memory "I was stupid" doesn't always make them feel like the emotions were invalid. So you get this endless stream of "I'm sorry I did something dumb, BUT" apologies.

In interpersonal relations this is kind of necessary for mutual understanding- we need to resolve that one, I did something dumb, and two, something you did made me dumber, caused me to get emotionally worked up.

But when delivering a public apology it doesn't work that way, because condemning the people who offended you and apologizing to the people who you offended at the same time just looks like two things that cancel each other out. Because you can't really differentiate and say "this part of my apology applies to what I did, this part applies to someone else."


Adamskywalker007 wrote:
Channel72 wrote:I don't really remember your racist rants - but I do remember that hilarious quote in your sig. Now I have to find the context which led Simon Jester to say it.

Regardless, most people aren't likely to respond well to "qualified" apologies.
In case you are wondering, it was here.
Actually, here:

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic. ... d#p3791612

About a year or so earlier.
This space dedicated to Vasily Arkhipov
User avatar
Thanas
Magister
Magister
Posts: 30779
Joined: 2004-06-26 07:49pm

Re: An Apology

Post by Thanas »

SMJB wrote:That being said, the assholes who gaslit me and ran me off the board are still fucking assholes. If you're reading this, fuck you Metahive and whoever else it was. Yeah, I was hiding the fact that I was neurodivergent, and maybe you didn't realize just how traumatizing it would be for me, but that is no better an excuse for your actions than my ignorance was for mine.
Saying "I was wrong but you assholes enabled me" is not a smart thing to do. Kinda makes one go "why the hell do we tolerate this asshole back if he cannot even apologize properly for racist rants?".

As a result, I have temp-banned you for the week, which may be changed to a permaban based on how the mods feel about this. Topic locked.
Last edited by Thanas on 2015-07-08 02:41am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Mixed a few issues up, clarified.
Whoever says "education does not matter" can try ignorance
------------
A decision must be made in the life of every nation at the very moment when the grasp of the enemy is at its throat. Then, it seems that the only way to survive is to use the means of the enemy, to rest survival upon what is expedient, to look the other way. Well, the answer to that is 'survival as what'? A country isn't a rock. It's not an extension of one's self. It's what it stands for. It's what it stands for when standing for something is the most difficult! - Chief Judge Haywood
------------
My LPs
Locked