Another man with women problems

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-03-21 09:32pm

Okay, here's what's going on. My girlfriend, Maria, has just moved into a new apartment with her brother and his stupid wife. She has been living with her brother for some time now, and he just got married. Anyways, Maria had some money saved up so she could help pay the rent, but her brother's wife took the money and spent it on bathroom decor. I was looking forward to seeing her today (have not seen her for a while because I am studing for a test next week), but see told me she had to work more hours to make up for the money. I asked her to tell her brother's wife to return the bathroom decor and tell her brother what his wife did, but she said no. why? She respects her family so much that she is blind to it. Her uncle even tried to stop her from seeing me because he thinks I am a terrorist because I am of Middle Eastern descent, and she agreed to it at first (we were dating for a month or so before HE found out, which is the main reason why I did not give up on her). Anyways, this wife bullshit is the final straw, and I am dumping her ass. It hurts a lot, but I believe it is the right thing to do. It's kind of like gang green; if your hand becomes infected, you may not want to cut it off, but you must in order to save yourself.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-03-21 09:57pm

Well... That sucks... Maybe you could run off with your girlfriend, and never come back? No more pesty relatives!

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-03-21 10:10pm

Good on you. Fucking agree to break up with you because of her dumbass uncle.

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-03-21 10:11pm

Well, the relatives are not really the problem. It's her blind devotion to them.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-21 11:59pm

Somebody has to be #1. If she's not willing to make you #1, then somebody else must be #1, and that appears to be her family. So how could you possibly have a healthy future together? Best to cut your losses. Any woman who would hide her boyfriend from her family because of their racism rather than defending him AGAINST their racism has her priorities really messed up.

In my case, I once told Rebecca that she would have to choose between me and her family, because she can't have both, so one has to come before the other (this dilemma was made very clear in my case because of the racial issues her parents had). I think it's important that all couples sit down at some point and make sure they're clear on this.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-03-22 12:03am

As the others have said. Either your her number one and she is yours, or its not going to work and you should cut your losses.

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-03-22 12:27am

Thanks your thoughts, guys. I really appreciate it. I'll try to talk to her about tomarrow, because I can't simply cut her out of my life. We've been going out for almost a year, and she's gown on me.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-03-22 12:29am

Heartless as this might be, you have to talk to her and make a choice. If she can't put your relationship ahead of her messed up relationship with her family you'll have to leave her.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-03-22 01:40am

Somebody is going to have to talk to her and tell her just because her family does or says something doesn't mean that it's right.

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-03-23 03:20am

Well, we talked it over, and she sees my point of view. In fact, she even called her sister in law a fat pork! And as far as the problem with her uncle, she did make it make it clear to him that she is in control of her life; not him (she made it clear to him a while back. I was just using her uncle as an example of how she can be blind to her family sometimes). I hope she stays true to her word, because she is better than all of the other girls I have met (what other women would play with me and my Star Wars toys?

).

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-03-23 03:22am

Sorry, but everyone who's told you just to dump her if being a bit heartless.

You're oin the right thing by giving her a chance. It's difficult to break away from one's family. Good luck with it all,.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-03-23 09:06am

My thrid fiance dumped me to please her family. She was from Dublin and i am from Belfast. That wasn't the problem i went to see her every weekend, the train was only £30 return. THe problem was her family found out i was a Protestant Unionist and they thought i deserved to die so "Ireland could be united and for the Irish only". Apparently because i hold a British passport i wasn't Irish.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-03-23 02:35pm

I think it's excellent that you're working through it. It's sometimes hard to find the happy medium between doing what's best for yourself and what everyone else thinks is best for you.

As her boyfriend, you should be an important part of her life, just as her family should be an important part of her life, but she needs to stand firm for her own beliefs as well, whether or not they line up with your beliefs or her family's beliefs.

Adelfi · Post by **Adelfi** » 2003-03-24 03:23am

you could always keep her around on the backburner while she works out her family loyalty issues and in the meantime have relations with as many other women as possible

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-03-24 03:49am

Darth Pounder wrote:My thrid fiance dumped me to please her family. She was from Dublin and i am from Belfast. That wasn't the problem i went to see her every weekend, the train was only £30 return. THe problem was her family found out i was a Protestant Unionist and they thought i deserved to die so "Ireland could be united and for the Irish only". Apparently because i hold a British passport i wasn't Irish.

Ulch. Now that is stupid.