NFL 2015

[Elfdart]

The preseason starts in a few hours, so I guess now is as good a time as any to start the new thread for 2015.

The Hall of Fame inductions last night were great stuff, in spite of the best efforts of the HoF and the NFL. First they weren't going to let Junior Seau's daughter speak, then they relented somewhat after even the biggest mouthbreather football fans realized just what a dick move the Hall and NFL were trying to pull. But still the powers that be had to screw up something, which they did by showing Seau in a Patriots uniform of the official banner. This might not seem like a big deal at first, but is there a chance in hell they would have used a photo of Joe Montana in a Chiefs uniform? Or Tony Dorsett in a Broncos uniform? Did they show Tim Brown (also in this class) in a Buccaneers uniform?

Speaking of the Hall of Shame, Frank Gifford (AKA Mr Kathy Lee Gifford) has just died at the age of 84. He was a HoF receiver/halfback for the Giants in the 50s, and despite having little skill or experience as a broadcaster, got the plum job of doing play-by-play on ABC's Monday Night Football. For reasons no one has ever figured out, Gifford, Don Meredith and Howard Cosell made a perfect team in the booth, even though as individuals covering a game they were awful -as they were when paired up with others in the booth (like when Meredith went to NBC and worked with Curt Gowdy). For you whippersnappers who never got to see the REAL Monday Night Football, head over to YouTube before the NFL has vintage games like this one taken down:



On a happier note, Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks series is back from break tomorrow, with the Vikings next on the scaffold. Their takedown of the Titans was brutal and hilarious.

The NFL has sentenced them to a nationally televised game against the Jaguars on a Thursday, where it will rival Mr. Ed reruns taped off Nick at Nite 25 years ago in ratings.

Fuck this team.

The Titans are the most boring dysfunctional franchise in all of sports, they are the missionary position of the NFL.

It may only be preseason but Deadspin is in mid-season form!

[Ziggy Stardust]

Just some random thoughts on a few teams:

It looks like the Texans are going to have another lost season. Arian Foster going down is a huge blow to that team. His backup, Alfred Blue, was absolutely god-awful last season. Unfortunately, J.J. Watt can't carry this team on offense as well, so I don't see them making any noise this season at all. Maybe 5 or 6 wins?

I also see a disappointing season for Cardinals fans. It's unlikely Carson Palmer is going to be able to perform as well as he did pre-injury for them, and they don't have any other promising quarterbacks on the roster (although ANYONE is an upgrade over Ryan Lindley). Bruce Arians will probably magic this team to more wins than they otherwise deserve; but, last season this team won a lot of very close games and historically speaking teams without elite quarterbacks don't sustain that behavior over large sample sizes.

Tampa Bay, I think, will be better this season than people realize. Probably not a great team, but in contention at least for the NFC South or wildcard spot if they get some lucky breaks.

[Elfdart]

If the Cardinals had a bad QB (as opposed to the Teebowesque QBs they had) in the playoffs last year they would have beaten the Panthers. This team is like the Ravens or Bears of 2000-2010: An average QB away from a Super Bowl.

[RogueIce]

So apparently this Judge is less than impressed by "more probable than not" and would much rather have "direct evidence" as the standard for the NFL suspending Brady...

Judge: 'What direct evidence implicates Mr. Brady?'

August 12, 2015, 1:15 pm
NEW YORK -- Patriots fans have explored every nook and cranny looking for holes in Roger Goodell's suspension of Tom Brady. But there's one that hadn't been probed much. It's been probed now.

Judge Richard Berman hammered away at NFL Management Council attorney Daniel Nash, trying to establish if the NFL had "any direct evidence linking Mr. Brady" to ball deflation, specifically on the night of the AFC Championship Game between the Patriots and the Colts.

Beginning by revisiting the facts of that night, Berman first pointed out that, "it turns out Mr. Brady did better without the underinflation." Berman even quoted Brady's first-half passing stats in the AFC title game and compared them to the second half.

After that, Berman asked Nash, "What direct evidence implicates Mr. Brady in that half of that game."

Nash noted that at Brady's appeal in June, the quarterback stated that neither Jim McNally nor John Jastremski would have deflated footballs of their own accord. To which, Berman replied, "Is that it?"

"Is there a text or e-mail? No," admitted Nash. "But there is considerable evidence that Mr. Brady knew about this. While there may not be a smoking gun, there is evidence of culpability."

Berman, a few minutes later, returned to the idea of narrowing the scope to the first 30 minutes of the AFC Championship since that's what the punishment was handed down for.

"I'm trying to figure out what was the evidence of a scheme or conspiracy during the Jan. 18 game. I'm having trouble with that," Berman told Nash.

Nash did attempt to cite text messages which insinuate balls being doctored by saying, "The texts previous."

Berman parried, "This is the only game we're talking about. This relates to one game."

Tom E. Curran serves as Comcast SportsNet's NFL Insider. Read more from Tom here, or follow him on Twitter or Facebook.

Also it seems like it'll hinge on whether or not they can prove Brady had anything to do with deflating balls during the AFC Championship specifically, rather than any previous games.

[Ziggy Stardust]

If the Cardinals had a bad QB (as opposed to the Teebowesque QBs they had) in the playoffs last year they would have beaten the Panthers. This team is like the Ravens or Bears of 2000-2010: An average QB away from a Super Bowl.

Well, the Ravens won a Super Bowl during that time frame, so not sure that analogy quite holds.

And I'd rather have Tebow ten times over than Ryan Lindley. In any case, I still see the Cardinals regressing this year. I haven't seen any real signs that they will improve personnel-wise, and last year they had a lot of "lucky" wins.

[Alferd Packer]

All I'll say is, ahahahaha, the fucking Jets. They looked awful last night, their locker room is a disaster. And yet somehow they'll scratch out enough wins to get a middling pick in next year's draft.

Here's hoping their games get blacked out locally.

[Elfdart]

Mark Sanchez looked like dry shit against the Colts and was outplayed by Tim Tebow -that's worse than a butt fumble!

[Elfdart]

I watched a few of the dress rehearsals last night (i.e. the next to last preseason games) and the Chiefs, Eagles, Colts and Vikings looked pretty sharp. The Vikings especially since their best player didn't play. How sharp? Only 3 of 29 passes weren't caught. Bridgewater completed everything he threw.

[Thanas]

Ravens look like undisciplined mess so far.

Was pretty good to nearly see Harbaugh kill Gruden after that Redskin LB piledrove Kamair Aiken. THIS IS THE WWE

[The Xeelee]

So I am a Brit NFL fan and I "support" the Seattle Seahawks though I don't really know too much. Is there any news in particular I should follow?

[Elfdart]

So I am a Brit NFL fan and I "support" the Seattle Seahawks though I don't really know too much. Is there any news in particular I should follow?

Just that Seattle's offense has been lackluster all preseason. Why, I can't tell.

[Thanas]

Read this and be amazed. If this would be happening in Germany the club would be tossed out immediately. Link

[Ziggy Stardust]

Read this and be amazed. If this would be happening in Germany the club would be tossed out immediately. Link

I think it's hilarious that you have been completely silent on all of the "Deflategate" news from the past couple of months (you know, all the developments that don't prove the Patriots are DERP EVIL) until you could find this blatantly biased piece that doesn't even get all the fucking facts straight (about either Spygate or Deflategate ... I mean, Jesus, even the Wikipedia article on both is more accurate than this piece of shit).

But, hey, I'm sure it's more fun for you to repeat the same old myth that the Patriots cheated their way to all those Super Bowl wins, in denial of all facts and reason.

[Flagg]

Ahahahah! First fucking quarter of the first game of the season and the Patriots start cheating with radio interference. After all of this shit starts running down the leg of the Cheatriots earning that monicker for all eternity they start their first quarter of the 2015 season cheating! It's awesome!

[RogueIce]

Apparently it was an issue for both sidelines so don't get too excited over #HeadsetGate, Flsgg

[Thanas]

Well, the steelers are raising a stink about it.

Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, miffed, said that his coaches’ radios never work against the Patriots. “That’s always the case. Yes. I said what I said,” Tomlin said.

And from their website:

NO SURPRISE AT ALL
This is the kind of stuff that happens to the visiting team in Gillette Stadium all the time. From the start of the game through the opening 14 minutes of the first quarter, the Steelers’ coaches’ headsets were receiving the Patriots Radio Network broadcast of the game. The broadcast was so loud that the Steelers coaches were unable to communicate, and the NFL rule is that if one team’s headsets are not working the other team is supposed to be forced to take their headsets off. It’s what the NFL calls the Equity Rule. Strangely enough, whenever an NFL representative proceeded to the New England sideline to shut down their headsets, the Steelers headsets cleared. Then as the representative walked away from the New England sideline, the Steelers’ headsets again started to receive the Patriots game broadcast.

More

[Flagg]

Apparently it was an issue for both sidelines so don't get too excited over #HeadsetGate, Flsgg

No, it wasn't, after a few minutes NFL officials turned off the Cheatriots coaches headset radios so as to try and nullify the Cheatriots shenanigans.

[GuppyShark]

There needs to be a movie where Whoopi Goldberg goes undercover as a Pats cheerleader to expose the whole organisation, they could call it Patriot Act.

I guess since my team is in the other conference it's just hilarious to me, how ballsy to just double down on the cheating by jamming headsets and shit in your first game post deflate gate.

[Thanas]

FUCK THIS SEASON.

[Gandalf]

My fantasy football team had a great opener, thanks to Travis Kelce. So I'm happy about that.

There needs to be a movie where Whoopi Goldberg goes undercover as a Pats cheerleader to expose the whole organisation, they could call it Patriot Act.

I guess since my team is in the other conference it's just hilarious to me, how ballsy to just double down on the cheating by jamming headsets and shit in your first game post deflate gate.

Or failing that, Whoopi just says that while it was cheating, it wasn't "cheating" cheating.

[Elfdart]

FUCK THIS SEASON.

Kubiak did his manly best to keep your team in the game. Too bad the Ravens aren't playing defense against a 40-year-old QB every week.

Thank you Matthew Stafford for throwing a ball late, across your body and off the wrong foot. We needed that pick desperately.

Before I forget:

RAIDERS SUCK!

[Flagg]

FUCK THIS SEASON.

Just enjoy the twilight years of the NFL, Thanas. I honestly doubt there will ever be a Super Bowl 75 (or possibly even a Super Bowl 65) as it's going to be untenable due to increased knowledge about the effects of multiple concussions, even mild ones. And frankly, no fucking helmet is ever going to be able to prevent concussions. And as someone with firsthand knowledge of how numerous non-sports related (and some street-hockey) concussions myself, I can tell you flat out, they mess you up. But I got lucky and didn't have any severe long term damage aside from balance issues.

But you're going to start seeing parents (like my mom, who I was kind of pissed at for a long time for not letting me play, and I was good, not great, but good. Better at baseball, never failed to hit the ball at bat, I just found it boring. But now? Very grateful) not letting their kids play and I'd imagine as the evidence mounts, entire school districts closing down their tackle (real ) football programs due to risks of lawsuits. I mean I'm sure the South and parts of the Midwest will be holdouts, but even then, there will be a breaking point.

So unless flag football (zzzzzzzzz) becomes all the rage and the NFL can transition, enjoy it while it's here. Unless they use robotszzzzzzzzzz...

[Flagg]

My fantasy football team had a great opener, thanks to Travis Kelce. So I'm happy about that.

There needs to be a movie where Whoopi Goldberg goes undercover as a Pats cheerleader to expose the whole organisation, they could call it Patriot Act.

I guess since my team is in the other conference it's just hilarious to me, how ballsy to just double down on the cheating by jamming headsets and shit in your first game post deflate gate.

Or failing that, Whoopi just says that while it was cheating, it wasn't "cheating" cheating.

Then she gets smallpox after refusing the vaccine and dies. The End.

[Col. Crackpot]

FUCK THIS SEASON.

Just enjoy the twilight years of the NFL, Thanas. I honestly doubt there will ever be a Super Bowl 75 (or possibly even a Super Bowl 65) as it's going to be untenable due to increased knowledge about the effects of multiple concussions, even mild ones. And frankly, no fucking helmet is ever going to be able to prevent concussions. And as someone with firsthand knowledge of how numerous non-sports related (and some street-hockey) concussions myself, I can tell you flat out, they mess you up. But I got lucky and didn't have any severe long term damage aside from balance issues.

But you're going to start seeing parents (like my mom, who I was kind of pissed at for a long time for not letting me play, and I was good, not great, but good. Better at baseball, never failed to hit the ball at bat, I just found it boring. But now? Very grateful) not letting their kids play and I'd imagine as the evidence mounts, entire school districts closing down their tackle (real ) football programs due to risks of lawsuits. I mean I'm sure the South and parts of the Midwest will be holdouts, but even then, there will be a breaking point.

So unless flag football (zzzzzzzzz) becomes all the rage and the NFL can transition, enjoy it while it's here. Unless they use robotszzzzzzzzzz...

Spot on for the most part, but where ever there is money, there will be a way. At least for a while. 2 of the 3 most valuable sports franchises on the planet ( Dallas Cowboys and New England Patriots) are NFL teams. 6 billion between just two teams.

Which is precisely why the NFL needs subterfuge like deflategate. It gets the base outraged at a convenient villan instead of the fact that hundreds of men are getting their brains scrambled on live TV.

That way they can keep making fortunes feeding gladiators to the lions and always be ready to whip up a shit storm when one gladiator dare use a sword half an inch larger than the rest.

[Flagg]

Just enjoy the twilight years of the NFL, Thanas. I honestly doubt there will ever be a Super Bowl 75 (or possibly even a Super Bowl 65) as it's going to be untenable due to increased knowledge about the effects of multiple concussions, even mild ones. And frankly, no fucking helmet is ever going to be able to prevent concussions. And as someone with firsthand knowledge of how numerous non-sports related (and some street-hockey) concussions myself, I can tell you flat out, they mess you up. But I got lucky and didn't have any severe long term damage aside from balance issues.

But you're going to start seeing parents (like my mom, who I was kind of pissed at for a long time for not letting me play, and I was good, not great, but good. Better at baseball, never failed to hit the ball at bat, I just found it boring. But now? Very grateful) not letting their kids play and I'd imagine as the evidence mounts, entire school districts closing down their tackle (real ) football programs due to risks of lawsuits. I mean I'm sure the South and parts of the Midwest will be holdouts, but even then, there will be a breaking point.

So unless flag football (zzzzzzzzz) becomes all the rage and the NFL can transition, enjoy it while it's here. Unless they use robotszzzzzzzzzz...

Spot on for the most part, but where ever there is money, there will be a way. At least for a while. 2 of the 3 most valuable sports franchises on the planet ( Dallas Cowboys and New England Patriots) are NFL teams. 6 billion between just two teams.

Which is precisely why the NFL needs subterfuge like deflategate. It gets the base outraged at a convenient villan instead of the fact that hundreds of men are getting their brains scrambled on live TV.

That way they can keep making fortunes feeding gladiators to the lions and always be ready to whip up a shit storm when one gladiator dare use a sword half an inch larger than the rest.

Your team is the cheatingest bunch of cheaters since the 1919 Chicago Whitesox, deal with it.

Ok, that bullshit aside, I agree that it's not like pro-football will just stop, I think it will slowly shrink from national pastime (because boring assed baseball hasn't been the U.S. National Pastime for decades) into regional pastimes, then basically the equivalent of backyard wrestling with some small pockets of amateur or very low paying pro leagues.

I dunno if watching grown men scratch themselves and spit loogies in a game that moves slower than Methuselahs dusty bowels Major League Baseball will make a comeback, but my money would be on the NBA as Americas new pastime, which is a shame because basketball is fun to play, not to watch, at least in my opinion.

Unless they go into total WWE male soap opera with feats of athleticism that look more harmful than they are since it would effectively just be stunts. That's the only way I see the NFL surviving and still making quite a bit of money.