Blatantly self-congratulatory autofellatio

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-23 01:04am

My GRE scores came back today. My verbal score was in the 96th percentile.

All three scores were well above average for the University of Pennsylvania, the grad school of my choice (ranked fifth in the nation in education, my chosen profession).

I'm gonna be a Quaker.

This concludes this public service announcement.

This is probably the most emotion I'll ever display on SDnet, unless I catch fire or something.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-23 01:05am

Congrats, it's good that you're an education major, American public schools need more teachers like you.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-03-23 01:06am

Urm...congrats.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-23 01:11am

Autofellatio, by nature, is self-congratulatory. A future edjamucator should know this.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-23 01:15am

Frank Hipper wrote:Autofellatio, by nature, is self-congratulatory. A future edjamucator should know this.

Mr. Hipper, could I, in real life, achieve autofellatio, I wouldn't be a future educator. I'd be in pornographic freak shows getting paid to do what I love.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-23 01:29am

RedImperator wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Autofellatio, by nature, is self-congratulatory. A future edjamucator should know this.
Mr. Hipper, could I, in real life, achieve autofellatio, I wouldn't be a future educator. I'd be in pornographic freak shows getting paid to do what I love.

The question I always ask when this subject comes up is, would you swallow?

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-03-23 01:30am

RedImperator wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Autofellatio, by nature, is self-congratulatory. A future edjamucator should know this.
Mr. Hipper, could I, in real life, achieve autofellatio, I wouldn't be a future educator. I'd be in pornographic freak shows getting paid to do what I love.

Dalton, FUQ?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-23 01:36am

RedImperator wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Autofellatio, by nature, is self-congratulatory. A future edjamucator should know this.
Mr. Hipper, could I, in real life, achieve autofellatio, I wouldn't be a future educator. I'd be in pornographic freak shows getting paid to do what I love.

Sucking balls?

(sorry, I tried not to post but I couldn't resist)

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-23 01:37am

Frank Hipper wrote:
RedImperator wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Autofellatio, by nature, is self-congratulatory. A future edjamucator should know this.
Mr. Hipper, could I, in real life, achieve autofellatio, I wouldn't be a future educator. I'd be in pornographic freak shows getting paid to do what I love.
The question I always ask when this subject comes up is, would you swallow?

You know, I really don't know. I'm hetero, so I'd probably end up thinking "holy shit, there's a dick in my mouth" right afterwards, so if I hadn't swallowed by then, I'd spit. being as I can't bend that far, it's more of a philosophical question than anything else.

EDIT: I've apparently hijacked my own thread. Neato.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-23 01:40am

You probably could after either getting some ribs removed or three years of yoga.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-23 02:04am

Durran Korr wrote:You probably could after either getting some ribs removed or three years of yoga.

How many ribs would we be talking about? Are the bottom set spares, anyway?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-23 02:07am

I think so. There was a rumor that Marilyn Manson had this done, but I think it was debunked. Still might be a possibility.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-03-23 03:34am

[Ribenaberry]Woo![/ribenaberry]

But please don't lock your back. That's a very embarrasing position to be in while wheeled through A&E.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-03-23 04:51am

Congrats man.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-03-23 09:00am

Durran Korr wrote:I think so. There was a rumor that Marilyn Manson had this done, but I think it was debunked. Still might be a possibility.

I saw the interview where this was put to Manson, He said that if he had the ability to get a blowjob any time he wanted it he'd not be there with the interviewer.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-23 03:00pm

RedImperator wrote:
Durran Korr wrote:You probably could after either getting some ribs removed or three years of yoga.
How many ribs would we be talking about? Are the bottom set spares, anyway?

Probably the bottom ones. The spine might be a problem too, as it might not be flexible enough to allow you to bend down that far.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-03-23 03:43pm

With the proper amount of preparation, the spine can bend that far. The problem is that the ribs will push against your vitals. I'm not speaking from experience, of course.[/i]

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-03-23 07:30pm

I got a 35 in the english section of my ACT...

hehe, anyhoo, congrats!

Alan Bolte · Post by **Alan Bolte** » 2003-03-23 11:07pm

Nathan F wrote:I got a 35 in the english section of my ACT...

hehe, anyhoo, congrats!

Hey, me too! 31 composite, 1510 on SAT.
Congrats from me too! At least you know where you want to be educated.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-24 05:50pm

Rather than start a new thread, I'm just going to congraluate/fellate myself in this one.

I just got my undergrad acceptance into the J.M. Tull School of Accounting here at UGA, 16th in the country. YES!

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-24 06:20pm

Oh yeah? Did I mention my SAT verbal was 800? <slurp slurp slurp> Villanova has been ranked best overall in the country by U.S. News and World Report several times in the past. <slurp slurp slurp> I was editor-in-chief of one of the newspapers on campus for almost two years. <slurp slurp slurp>

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-03-24 06:35pm

n the topic of autofellatio, achieving stretchiness isnt that hard. i went from 3 inches off to able to lick the hed in a less then 1 week of stretching. it realy isnt that hard, just pull your upper body towards your dick until it burns slight and hold for 30 seconds, then slowly SLOWLY release and do this once a night.

:p

..

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-03-24 06:40pm

it is possible...Ron Jeremy did it (before he got too fat) in The Devil In Miss Jones. then again he did have a foot long schlong.....

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-24 06:46pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:it is possible...Ron Jeremy did it (before he got too fat) in The Devil In Miss Jones. then again he did have a foot long schlong.....

Oh. Well in that case, I shouldn't have any problems.

<slurp slurp slurp>

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-24 06:48pm

Ron Jeremy doesn't have a long schlong.