Harry Potter: Inquisition

[Typhonis 1]

First posted by yours truly elsewhere. A fun look at how claiming to be something you aren't can have unintended consequences.

I do not own Harry Potter nor Monty Python. This fic is written for my own amusement and for the amusement of others, free of charge.


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The Great Hall was abuzz with the usual dinner chatter when a flash of light and cloud of smoke appeared in the open area before the great table. Three figures emerged from said smoke. All three wore red. Two had normal red floppy hats while the third sported an aviators hat. All three glared at Delores Umbridge. She stood up, from her place at the high table, and spoke, "How may I help you, gentlemen?"

The large one in the middle spoke up, "I am Cardinal Ximenez. These are my assistants Cardinal Biggles and Cardinal Fang. We are here at the behest of the Holy See and represent the magical branch of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. "

She actually looked puzzled. "I am not certain I know what group you represent? Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith? I am afraid I'm not that familiar with them."

From her seat Hermione Granger began to hyperventilate. 'Oh bugger. She pissed THEM off?'

From all three men an aura of magical power, all could feel, emerged. Cardinal Biggles brandished a mace that glowed. Fang held aloft a staff, from it a brazier slowly swung back and forth while Ximenez pointed at Umbridge, "Yes the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Known in times of old as The Inquisition! Now then Delores Umbridge, by what right do you claim the title High Inquisitor?"

[Ahriman238]

Bring out the comfy chair! And if that fails, prepare a nice cup of tea.

Mind, wait til they find out she appointed a Junior Inquisitor Squad.