Virginia school removes wheat for being "Islamic"

[Aasharu]

Because wheat came from the middle east originally.

AUGUSTA COUNTY, Va. – A Virginia school district has removed a number of wheat and vegetable products from its lunch menu after a flood of phone calls and emails from concerned parents demanded the removal of the grains and greenery, which originated in the Middle East nearly 9,000 years ago, on the grounds they could be used to indoctrinate their children into Islam.

“I am a Christian and I feel my rights and the rights of my children are being violated,” said Cathy Henderson, whose ninth-grade son is enrolled in the Augusta County school district. “The school needs to be held accountable for deceiving the community. It’s appalling. They didn’t even tell us where these ingredients were from.”

Cathy and other parents congregated at the sanctuary of Good Will Ministries Friday afternoon to voice their opinions and grievances, with many calling for the immediate termination of the Augusta County public school cafeteria staff. “What gives these people the right to put poison in my child’s food?” Demand Margaret Peterson, who said she stumbled upon the “sinister origins” of wheat, lettuce, and cucumbers while searching the Internet for Christmas recipes. “I was mortified,” she said.

“I’m not surprised,” said Ed Hamilton whose two daughters attend middle school in Augusta County. “This is what happens when you have a Muslim in the White House.” Ed and other members of the Augusta community are calling for a complete ban on all Islam related teachings in the public school system. “There’s no place for it here,” Hamilton said. “We’re a good Christian community.”

Meanwhile, Augusta County school administrators are struggling to find nutritious replacements for dozens of previously acceptable lunch menu items now found to contain various “un-American” ingredients such as wheat, oats, barely, peas, lettuce, radishes, onions, and parsley.

“It’s frightening to think that my child -or any child for that matter, could be eating the same foods as the savages over in Iraq who want nothing more than to behead us because of our freedom,” said Cathy Henderson. “What I don’t understand is why Mr. Obama is so content to let that happen.”

Sometimes I get really depressed by how stupidly kneejerk people can be.

[General Zod]

Sometimes I get really depressed by how stupidly kneejerk people can be.

I know right? It's just like how people will repost articles in outrage without fact-checking to make sure it's legitimate and not a fake news site.

[Grumman]

Sometimes I get really depressed by how stupidly kneejerk people can be.

I know right? It's just like how people will repost articles in outrage without fact-checking to make sure it's legitimate and not a fake news site.

Wait, you're telling me that Elon Musk isn't a cyborg?

[General Zod]

Sometimes I get really depressed by how stupidly kneejerk people can be.

I know right? It's just like how people will repost articles in outrage without fact-checking to make sure it's legitimate and not a fake news site.

Wait, you're telling me that Elon Musk isn't a cyborg?

I'm afraid that's classified information.

[Aasharu]

Well. This story is completely false, and I'm the idiot that believed it. Sorry everyone.

[Iroscato]

The best kind of satire is that which can fly straight under the radar.

Usually though, it's just good practice to find a second news article corroborating the story.

[Simon_Jester]

As a schoolteacher... it's believable that there exists a parent who is that stupid.

It's not believable that the school district would react that quickly to the stupidity of a single individual, among other things because actually feeding the kids who come to school IS one of our legal obligations, so we can't just pull foods from the cafeteria without some kind of viable replacement that meets certain nutritional standards.

[General Zod]

They may in fact, be parodying this particular news story.

[Simon_Jester]

To be fair, Muslims themselves regard saying that proclamation of faith as the cornerstone of the rituals associated with converting to Islam. For a government employee to make people say it is as much a violation of separation of church and state as having said government employee force you to attend Mass.

[Grumman]

To be fair, Muslims themselves regard saying that proclamation of faith as the cornerstone of the rituals associated with converting to Islam. For a government employee to make people say it is as much a violation of separation of church and state as having said government employee force you to attend Mass.

I agree. The analogy I made elsewhere is that this geography teacher gave his students an assignment requiring them to transcribe John 3:16 in blackletter. Even if it was the latin version ("Sic enim Deus dilexit mundum, ut Filium suum unigenitum daret: ut omnis qui credit in eum, non pereat, sed habeat vitam æternam.") that would still clearly be something the teacher should not be allowed to do.

[Simon_Jester]

It's more than that.

Basically, saying the shahada (and meaning it) is all by itself a declaration of conversion to Islam, as far as Muslims are concerned. Say it out loud in front of witnesses (and mean it) and yep, you're a Muslim. Granted that non-Muslims don't see things the same way, but then, non-Christians have no reason to assume that accepting a Christian baptism makes you a Christian either.

So forcing people to express those words in Arabic is at least on the same order of 'violates separation of church and state' as forcing people to accept a partial or incomplete baptismal rite.

So yeah, weird as it is for me to say so, I'm with the fundies on this one.

[Broomstick]

Admittedly, I'm not fully versed on the "copying Arabic script" thing, but was the teacher who assigned the phrased to be copied even know what is said, or did he/she just randomly select a bit of script for copying?

[Simon_Jester]

The teacher may not have been responsible, but someone compiled that worksheet who should have known better.

You can't claim to know anything about Islam if you haven't at least learned that much. I know that much.

[LadyTevar]

I believe the teacher may have given that phrase solely on the basis of complexity and conciseness. I do not speak nor read Arabic, so the image of the Shahada in that link I would have assumed to be one long word, not the full verse that is the basis of Islamic belief. As a Calligrapher, that is both gorgeous and hellishly difficult to get right every time if you were not trained in the language. I would have an easier time with Japanese or Chinese, going top to bottom, than I would right-to-left.

[Simon_Jester]

Well, what I'm saying is, someone must have chosen the shahada, and I really would think they'd have to be someone who knew enough about Islam to know what it was.

It could just be a stupid mistake, of course, but that looks like a pre-made worksheet created by someone who must have found the phrase somewhere and would have had the opportunity to learn what it says, and having known what it says they should know the significance.

[Ralin]

It's more than that.

Basically, saying the shahada (and meaning it) is all by itself a declaration of conversion to Islam, as far as Muslims are concerned. Say it out loud in front of witnesses (and mean it) and yep, you're a Muslim. Granted that non-Muslims don't see things the same way, but then, non-Christians have no reason to assume that accepting a Christian baptism makes you a Christian either.

So forcing people to express those words in Arabic is at least on the same order of 'violates separation of church and state' as forcing people to accept a partial or incomplete baptismal rite.

So yeah, weird as it is for me to say so, I'm with the fundies on this one.

The "and mean it" bit being the critical one, I think. Way it was explained to me Muslims are also generally pretty clear that you have to be specifically saying it with the intention of converting for it to count. There's no "Oops, you're Muslim now!" fake out rule.

Admittedly, I'm not fully versed on the "copying Arabic script" thing, but was the teacher who assigned the phrased to be copied even know what is said, or did he/she just randomly select a bit of script for copying?

As I understand it that's just about the most commonly written thing in Arabic calligraphy, and one of the most common things to hear said in Arabic. So it's not like it isn't highly relevant as an example of the art.

[Broomstick]

The "and mean it" bit being the critical one, I think. Way it was explained to me Muslims are also generally pretty clear that you have to be specifically saying it with the intention of converting for it to count. There's no "Oops, you're Muslim now!" fake out rule.

Not everyone knows that - some of the whackjob jihadists who have been known to take hostages have also been known to force people who know no Arabic to repeat the phrase and then said "Gotcha!". True, these are generally not the most educated of Muslims or jihadists, but unfortunately some people are like that.

I've also known some Christians who think "I accept Jesus Christ as my savior" and the like to be Magic Words(TM) that instantly make you Christian whether or not you said them with intent. Again, generally not the most intelligent or well-educated of people.

[Grumman]

The "and mean it" bit being the critical one, I think. Way it was explained to me Muslims are also generally pretty clear that you have to be specifically saying it with the intention of converting for it to count. There's no "Oops, you're Muslim now!" fake out rule.

Not everyone knows that - some of the whackjob jihadists who have been known to take hostages have also been known to force people who know no Arabic to repeat the phrase and then said "Gotcha!". True, these are generally not the most educated of Muslims or jihadists, but unfortunately some people are like that.

There's also the problem of the significant minority of Muslims - apparently including more than 60% of Egyptians - who think that anyone who converts and reneges should be put to death.

[Simon_Jester]

The "and mean it" bit being the critical one, I think. Way it was explained to me Muslims are also generally pretty clear that you have to be specifically saying it with the intention of converting for it to count. There's no "Oops, you're Muslim now!" fake out rule.

Yes, but just because you're doing something that is technically not valid as a ceremony of ritual conversion to Islam doesn't mean you should be making people say or write out the words in Arabic (the liturgical language of the Muslim faith) lightly as a random homework assignment.

Admittedly, I'm not fully versed on the "copying Arabic script" thing, but was the teacher who assigned the phrased to be copied even know what is said, or did he/she just randomly select a bit of script for copying?

As I understand it that's just about the most commonly written thing in Arabic calligraphy, and one of the most common things to hear said in Arabic. So it's not like it isn't highly relevant as an example of the art.

Thing is, again, it is in fact an important profession of faith in the Islamic religion, which one cannot easily separate from the Arabic language because nearly all native Arabic-sepakers are practicing Muslims.

Pure mistake-ness can explain how this could have been done wrong innocently; my point is that given that this IS a social studies unit on the Islamic faith, whoever did the curriculum design for that unit SHOULD have known enough about the Islamic faith to know better than to ask teachers to make students write out "There is no god but God and Muhammad is his Prophet" in Arabic. It's culturally insensitive to non-Muslims.

The "and mean it" bit being the critical one, I think. Way it was explained to me Muslims are also generally pretty clear that you have to be specifically saying it with the intention of converting for it to count. There's no "Oops, you're Muslim now!" fake out rule.

Not everyone knows that - some of the whackjob jihadists who have been known to take hostages have also been known to force people who know no Arabic to repeat the phrase and then said "Gotcha!". True, these are generally not the most educated of Muslims or jihadists, but unfortunately some people are like that.

There is certainly Muslim scholarship refuting the position that simply saying the words is enough, or so I am given to understand.

I've also known some Christians who think "I accept Jesus Christ as my savior" and the like to be Magic Words(TM) that instantly make you Christian whether or not you said them with intent. Again, generally not the most intelligent or well-educated of people.

There is LESS Christian scholarship refuting this position, I suspect. If only because the Christian baptismal rite is more complicated than the Muslim rite of attesting that one is a Muslim. So the Christians who think that are if anything less wrong than the jihadi types who think so.

But it's still culturally insensitive to non-Muslims to make them write or say those specific words in Arabic. Or for that matter any other language.

There's also the problem of the significant minority of Muslims - apparently including more than 60% of Egyptians - who think that anyone who converts and reneges should be put to death.

This position is a traditional Islamic one but is SUPPOSED to be coupled with the tradition that you have to really really mean it when you convert and that there have to be multiple Muslims present to attest to your sincerity.

[Highlord Laan]

The best kind of satire is that which can fly straight under the radar.

Usually though, it's just good practice to find a second news article corroborating the story.

It also says a great deal about the US currently that this article managed to fly under said radar.

[Grumman]

It also says a great deal about the US currently that this article managed to fly under said radar.

Sure, it says your hate has blinded you.