Congratulations, Mr. President!
Moderators: Alyrium Denryle, Edi, K. A. Pital
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- Vympel's Bitch
- Posts: 3893
- Joined: 2003-03-02 10:45am
- Location: Pretoria, South Africa
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Congratulations, Mr. President!
As a result of legal quibbles, George W. Bush is removed from office. You are put in his place as the new American leader. Your platform, please?
Rinse and repeat with relevant phrasology for those outside the United States. Assume Prime Ministers Howard and Blair recieved similar treatment at the hands of their country's highest advocates of law. You are in control. Agendas, ladies and gentlemen?
Rinse and repeat with relevant phrasology for those outside the United States. Assume Prime Ministers Howard and Blair recieved similar treatment at the hands of their country's highest advocates of law. You are in control. Agendas, ladies and gentlemen?
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- Warlock
- Posts: 10285
- Joined: 2002-07-05 02:28am
- Location: Boston
- Contact:
green imperialist party. improve education, ecology, and start adding new states.
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
- NecronLord
- Harbinger of Doom
- Posts: 27384
- Joined: 2002-07-07 06:30am
- Location: The Lost City
As I have now become the supreme Dictator of Great Britain and Dominions (that means you Gibraltar) And have total control of the millitary, and they have just sworn an oath of loyalty to me. I would like to begin what I call the "Short Sharp Shock Doctrine."
There is no longer a state religion, the anglican church has been booted.
I am now president, the minor royalty are being exiled, the queen and any others old enough to harbour the illusion of deposing me quietly shot.
We're joining the euro. Hard fucking cheese.
It's tax increase time people. The public services in this country are knackerd. BEND OVER!!!
Nationalisation of the railways. If we can't find a private company to run it, then we're taking over.
I'm blowing up the millenium dome. Admission to the spectator areas £15.
There is no longer a state religion, the anglican church has been booted.
I am now president, the minor royalty are being exiled, the queen and any others old enough to harbour the illusion of deposing me quietly shot.
We're joining the euro. Hard fucking cheese.
It's tax increase time people. The public services in this country are knackerd. BEND OVER!!!
Nationalisation of the railways. If we can't find a private company to run it, then we're taking over.
I'm blowing up the millenium dome. Admission to the spectator areas £15.
Superior Moderator - BotB - HAB [Drill Instructor]-Writer- Stardestroyer.net's resident Star-God.
"We believe in the systematic understanding of the physical world through observation and experimentation, argument and debate and most of all freedom of will." ~ Stargate: The Ark of Truth
"We believe in the systematic understanding of the physical world through observation and experimentation, argument and debate and most of all freedom of will." ~ Stargate: The Ark of Truth
- MKSheppard
- Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
- Posts: 29842
- Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm
Announce the New Americn EMPIRE, and begin the conquest of Upper Montana
and Lower New Mexico.
In reality, just cut taxes, tell politicians to fucking cut the pork out of
their fucking bills or else I'll veto them
and Lower New Mexico.
In reality, just cut taxes, tell politicians to fucking cut the pork out of
their fucking bills or else I'll veto them
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
- RedImperator
- Roosevelt Republican
- Posts: 16465
- Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
- Location: Delaware
- Contact:
Find a copy of the Federal Budget. Tear out every last expenditure not specifically authorized by the Constitution. Cut taxes 85%. End the Cuban embargo and get me some cigars.
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
X-Ray Blues
Assuming I'm Dictator, and not merely the President...
1) Pardon all non-violent drug offenders. End all affirmative action.
2) U.S. troops out of Japan, Germany, and Saudi Arabia (after Iraq is taken care of). Eliminate military presence elsewhere in Europe; I'm sure they won't mind, you know, being against American imperialist cowboys and all. Diminish military presence in N. Korea.
3) End Socialism Security, sell of government assets such as undeveloped western land and abandoned military bases to buy annuities for those still dependent on it.
4) Repeal the 17th Amendment. Replace it with a national retail sales tax.
5) In the name of the 9th and 10th Amendments, abolish the various unconstitutional departments.
6) Go through latest Congressional budget, tearing out pages at random. It will likely come out better than before. After that, take out everything not authorized by the Constitution.
7) IRS. Gone. Instantly. Forever.
Put an $80 million bounty of Osama bin Laden. Anyone is eligible for it, even his henchman. Or wives. He must be returned alive. After he is returned alive, he will be lowered into Times Square from a helicopter. The crowd will take care of him.
9) End of welfare. Poverty will no longer be a government-subsidized alternative lifestyle.
Too much to list, really, I'll add more as I think of it.
1) Pardon all non-violent drug offenders. End all affirmative action.
2) U.S. troops out of Japan, Germany, and Saudi Arabia (after Iraq is taken care of). Eliminate military presence elsewhere in Europe; I'm sure they won't mind, you know, being against American imperialist cowboys and all. Diminish military presence in N. Korea.
3) End Socialism Security, sell of government assets such as undeveloped western land and abandoned military bases to buy annuities for those still dependent on it.
4) Repeal the 17th Amendment. Replace it with a national retail sales tax.
5) In the name of the 9th and 10th Amendments, abolish the various unconstitutional departments.
6) Go through latest Congressional budget, tearing out pages at random. It will likely come out better than before. After that, take out everything not authorized by the Constitution.
7) IRS. Gone. Instantly. Forever.
Put an $80 million bounty of Osama bin Laden. Anyone is eligible for it, even his henchman. Or wives. He must be returned alive. After he is returned alive, he will be lowered into Times Square from a helicopter. The crowd will take care of him.
9) End of welfare. Poverty will no longer be a government-subsidized alternative lifestyle.
Too much to list, really, I'll add more as I think of it.
Last edited by Joe on 2003-03-24 03:16pm, edited 4 times in total.
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
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- Warlock
- Posts: 10285
- Joined: 2002-07-05 02:28am
- Location: Boston
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oh yeah, go through the budget, rip out the money going to violaters of human rights, and putting research into enviromentally safe things.
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
First off, engineer a truly spectacular crises, probably of the terrorisim variety aginst Congress preferably. Call a national emergency, suspend the surviving Congress and the Consitution, declare martial law. Use this period to 'sanitize' a new Congressional body , use them to perpetuate a state of Emergency, granting the Executive branch full govenmental powers 'for the duration of the crisis'. Constitution + Bill of Rights meet Mr. paper shredder. Perpetuate an ongoing terrorist threat , from within America, begin purging all questionable individuals and potential resistance leadership. Add in an overseas element as the backers for this insurrection, and begin using propaganda to focus American fear and anger outwards. Re-shape American self-image to that of an Imperial nation, the only hope for the future of both America and the world.
Begin program of conquest and Empire building, ultimate aim being the creation of a planetary govenment.
Begin program of conquest and Empire building, ultimate aim being the creation of a planetary govenment.
BotM
- RedImperator
- Roosevelt Republican
- Posts: 16465
- Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
- Location: Delaware
- Contact:
Imperator/Korr 2016!
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
X-Ray Blues
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- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 1571
- Joined: 2002-07-13 12:56pm
Massive reforms to remove the inefficencies that cause us in the UK to have incredibly high taxes but still have laughably bad public services. Large cuts to the bloated wages MPs get would be first on the agenda and if they don't agree then they can all take a long walk off a short pier... For certain a lot more private companies are going to involved in things like healthcare. I'm not into letting people die because they can't afford to pay healthcare costs but damn the NHS costs this country an absolute fortune and it just does not fucking work. I've lost a few relatives to underfunded NHS hospitals...
Oh yeah and Andy Gilchrist swings from the nearest tree just because I don't like him... Damn traitor, forcing us to hold 19,000 troops back in a time of war to cover for strikes that seem to be almost excusively caused by his militant socialism. Firefighters get paid good wages for unskilled work and a 16% rise over 3 years is fucking excellent not to mention the excellent pensions and such. If they were so hard done by then every firefighter job that becomes available wouldn't be massively appllied for.
State church goes bye, bye as well. Fuck that. Seperation of church and state will become law and strictly enforced.
A lot of crimes suddenly find their punishment becoming 'bullet in the head the morning after the trial.' Criminals will be a lot less willing to commit crime when death is the mandatory punishment.
Death of the welfare state or at least massive cutbacks and restrictions. Too much abuse makes this cost a fucking fortune. The amount of dole scrounging scum where I live is beyond a joke - they must be costing the system an absolute fortune.
Less state funded shit. We stick our noses in where it just doesn't belong. Arts? Who gives a shit? They can fund themselves or wither away.
I wouldn't join the Euro. I just don't feel it's such a great idea to tie our economy to the mainland in such a way. It takes away some of our ability to adapt to current economic conditions. A federal Europe could kiss my hairy ass, I'd sooner become a state of America - less French people for a start
Oh yeah and Andy Gilchrist swings from the nearest tree just because I don't like him... Damn traitor, forcing us to hold 19,000 troops back in a time of war to cover for strikes that seem to be almost excusively caused by his militant socialism. Firefighters get paid good wages for unskilled work and a 16% rise over 3 years is fucking excellent not to mention the excellent pensions and such. If they were so hard done by then every firefighter job that becomes available wouldn't be massively appllied for.
State church goes bye, bye as well. Fuck that. Seperation of church and state will become law and strictly enforced.
A lot of crimes suddenly find their punishment becoming 'bullet in the head the morning after the trial.' Criminals will be a lot less willing to commit crime when death is the mandatory punishment.
Death of the welfare state or at least massive cutbacks and restrictions. Too much abuse makes this cost a fucking fortune. The amount of dole scrounging scum where I live is beyond a joke - they must be costing the system an absolute fortune.
Less state funded shit. We stick our noses in where it just doesn't belong. Arts? Who gives a shit? They can fund themselves or wither away.
I wouldn't join the Euro. I just don't feel it's such a great idea to tie our economy to the mainland in such a way. It takes away some of our ability to adapt to current economic conditions. A federal Europe could kiss my hairy ass, I'd sooner become a state of America - less French people for a start
Join up any time We'd be happy to have you onboard.I wouldn't join the Euro. I just don't feel it's such a great idea to tie our economy to the mainland in such a way. It takes away some of our ability to adapt to current economic conditions. A federal Europe could kiss my hairy ass, I'd sooner become a state of America - less French people for a start
BotM
- Spanky The Dolphin
- Mammy Two-Shoes
- Posts: 30776
- Joined: 2002-07-05 05:45pm
- Location: Reykjavík, Iceland (not really)
The Glorious Empire of Blood rises in Imperial Year One. I watch our Death Troops slaughter The Enemy from my Dark Tower.
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Don't like not being serious, too bad.
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Don't like not being serious, too bad.
I believe in a sign of Zeta.
[BOTM|WG|JL|Mecha Maniacs|Pax Cybertronia|Veteran of the Psychic Wars|Eva Expert]
"And besides, who cares if a monster destroys Australia?"
One more thing...I would also enact a permanent amendment to the Constitution that could never be altered mandating that the U.S. never come to the military aid of France ever again.
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
- Cal Wright
- American Warlord
- Posts: 3995
- Joined: 2002-07-07 03:24am
- Location: Super-Class Star Destroyer 'Blight'
- Contact:
It is with great reluctance that I have agreed
to this calling. I love democracy... I love America.
But I am mild by nature, and I do not desire to see the
destruction of democracy. The power you give me I will lay
down when this crisis has abated, I promise you. And as my
first act with this new authority, I will create a grand
army of America to counter the increasing threats of
the terrorists.
Even as we speak, elements of the Imperial Navy lead by Grand Admiral Shepard are advancing on enemy locations.
::Cut to shots of ignorant protestors being cut down by laser fire. Intelligent outspeakers are congratulated for independant thought::
::else where units advance on enemy buildings and towns::
I have dissolved the Senate and place direct control in the hands of the regional Moffs. God bless America.
to this calling. I love democracy... I love America.
But I am mild by nature, and I do not desire to see the
destruction of democracy. The power you give me I will lay
down when this crisis has abated, I promise you. And as my
first act with this new authority, I will create a grand
army of America to counter the increasing threats of
the terrorists.
Even as we speak, elements of the Imperial Navy lead by Grand Admiral Shepard are advancing on enemy locations.
::Cut to shots of ignorant protestors being cut down by laser fire. Intelligent outspeakers are congratulated for independant thought::
::else where units advance on enemy buildings and towns::
I have dissolved the Senate and place direct control in the hands of the regional Moffs. God bless America.
Were you born with out a sense of humor or did you lose it in a tragic whoppy cushion accident? -Stormbringer
"We are well and truly forked." -Mace Windu Shatterpoint
"Either way KJA is now Dune's problem. Why can't he stop tormenting me and start writting fucking Star Trek books." -Lord Pounder
The Dark Guard Fleet
Post 1500 acheived on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 2:48 am
1.)Institute a better tax code without so many loopholes and stupid taxes.
2.)Reorganize Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid to work better at getting people out of poverty. It's not enough to give people barely enough money to live they also have to have a means of getting out of poverty.
3.)Affirmitive Action stays legal. Deal with it. The damage done to such a large group of people for a dozen decades can't be undone by simply standing around doing nothing...Try and tell someone from the inner city that he has an equal opportunity to get into college while maintaining a straight face...I dare you...
3.)Foreign Policy that doesn't piss off nation after nation.
4.)Pay our dues to the UN. And then some. Using the UN to reduce worldwise suffering is morally required in my opinion...hell 50 bucks to UNICEF can save a dozen kids from dying...(Living High, Letting Die ~ Peter Unger)
5.)Increase research into alternate energy sources. Oil won't last forever.
6.)Reorganize NASA to get away from boondoggles like the SpaceStation/Shuttle and into stuff with redeeming value while increaseing commercialization of space.
7.)Conquer Canada.
2.)Reorganize Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid to work better at getting people out of poverty. It's not enough to give people barely enough money to live they also have to have a means of getting out of poverty.
3.)Affirmitive Action stays legal. Deal with it. The damage done to such a large group of people for a dozen decades can't be undone by simply standing around doing nothing...Try and tell someone from the inner city that he has an equal opportunity to get into college while maintaining a straight face...I dare you...
3.)Foreign Policy that doesn't piss off nation after nation.
4.)Pay our dues to the UN. And then some. Using the UN to reduce worldwise suffering is morally required in my opinion...hell 50 bucks to UNICEF can save a dozen kids from dying...(Living High, Letting Die ~ Peter Unger)
5.)Increase research into alternate energy sources. Oil won't last forever.
6.)Reorganize NASA to get away from boondoggles like the SpaceStation/Shuttle and into stuff with redeeming value while increaseing commercialization of space.
7.)Conquer Canada.
Plato's Beard. Dulling Occam's razor since...um...a long time ago.
- Spanky The Dolphin
- Mammy Two-Shoes
- Posts: 30776
- Joined: 2002-07-05 05:45pm
- Location: Reykjavík, Iceland (not really)
- RedImperator
- Roosevelt Republican
- Posts: 16465
- Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
- Location: Delaware
- Contact:
KJA's Kleenex leavings, perhaps?Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Wow, were'd you get 500 ft tall AT-ATs?
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
X-Ray Blues
- Cal Wright
- American Warlord
- Posts: 3995
- Joined: 2002-07-07 03:24am
- Location: Super-Class Star Destroyer 'Blight'
- Contact:
KhyronTheBackstabber provided that shot. His courage is admirable. I wish him well in the field. ¤§¤
Alright, get this god damned thread back on topic guys, someone's going to drop the hammer.
Alright, get this god damned thread back on topic guys, someone's going to drop the hammer.
Were you born with out a sense of humor or did you lose it in a tragic whoppy cushion accident? -Stormbringer
"We are well and truly forked." -Mace Windu Shatterpoint
"Either way KJA is now Dune's problem. Why can't he stop tormenting me and start writting fucking Star Trek books." -Lord Pounder
The Dark Guard Fleet
Post 1500 acheived on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 2:48 am
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- Rabid Monkey
- Posts: 2230
- Joined: 2002-07-20 06:49pm
- Location: too close to home
Re: Congratulations, Mr. President!
Bah! Let the vice-president run the show for all I care. I'll be too busy with all those cute interns and whitehouse strippers.Axis Kast wrote:As a result of legal quibbles, George W. Bush is removed from office. You are put in his place as the new American leader. Your platform, please?
- Jason von Evil
- Sol Badguy
- Posts: 8103
- Joined: 2002-11-29 02:13am
- Location: Writer of the fictions
- Contact:
1. Change the national anthem to The Imperial March.
2. Make Puerto Rico a state while at the sametime, launching an invasion of Mexico and Canada. Hello 51st, 52nd, and 53rd states.
3. Declare Iraq a US territory.
4. Make some education laws and such. Mostly let the VP handle that kind of stuff.
5. Convince Britain and Aussieland to sign acts of union with the US.
6. Declare the creation of the Imperial States of America, or the ISA.
7. Conquer the rest of the world.
8. Change name to Imperium of Man or Terran Empire.
These are of course, in jest, but I can think of serious changes.
2. Make Puerto Rico a state while at the sametime, launching an invasion of Mexico and Canada. Hello 51st, 52nd, and 53rd states.
3. Declare Iraq a US territory.
4. Make some education laws and such. Mostly let the VP handle that kind of stuff.
5. Convince Britain and Aussieland to sign acts of union with the US.
6. Declare the creation of the Imperial States of America, or the ISA.
7. Conquer the rest of the world.
8. Change name to Imperium of Man or Terran Empire.
These are of course, in jest, but I can think of serious changes.
"It was the hooker rationing that finally drove people over the edge." - Mike on coup in Thailand.
- Raptor 597
- Sith Devotee
- Posts: 3338
- Joined: 2002-08-01 03:54pm
- Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
Conquer Greater Montana and Texas South by an actual delaration war. "Protect" the rest of the Americas by taking a hardcore view on the Monroe Doctrine. Invade and remove Fieldo Castro. Cut social secruity slowly and cut all dead beats off from welfare. Pull all military forces from europe except from Britain and up them too take control of the continent. Change the the US's name to "The Grand Americian Imperium".
Formerly the artist known as Captain Lennox
"To myself I am only a child playing on the beach, while vast oceans of truth lie undiscovered before me." - Sir Isaac Newton
"To myself I am only a child playing on the beach, while vast oceans of truth lie undiscovered before me." - Sir Isaac Newton
- Dahak
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 7292
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- Location: Admiralty House, Landing, Manticore
- Contact:
Cut military spending by a LOT.
Install a social welfare system worth its name.
Ban guns.
All in all, europeanize it
Install a social welfare system worth its name.
Ban guns.
All in all, europeanize it
Great Dolphin Conspiracy - Chatter box
"Implications: we have been intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown, and transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown. Apart from the unknown, everything is obvious." ZORAC
GALE Force Euro Wimp
Human dignity shall be inviolable. To respect and protect it shall be the duty of all state authority.