Emperor Catagia vs Joffrey Baratheon

[NecronLord]

Terrible news; you've been arrested for sedition. The good news is that you have a choice of judge (and jury).


Emperor Catagia of Centauri (Babylon 5)


King Joffrey Baratheon of Westeros (Game of Thrones; TV version or book version)

Both happen to be the day before their eventual poisoning.

Which do you choose and why?

[Khaat]

A continuance to the day after tomorrow...?

Sorry, that was spammy.

(The edit window isn't long enough for me to get up to speed on the particulars of either, and my usual write-first-don't-hit-submit-later thing didn't work for me this time.)

Sedition. Hmm.

Not going to end well either way, so I'll go with Catagia, and play to his "godhood" delusion.

[The Romulan Republic]

Hmm. I don't know much about Catagia, but I know enough about Joffery to know I don't want to be in the same country as the diseased little fucker.

[U.P. Cinnabar]

Cartagia, and somehow blackmail Londo into helping me out in exchange for not blabbing to Cartagia about the plan to off him. Then, after the deed is done, find the first available transport headed back to B5, then BS Corwin into granting me asylum while Sheridan and Ivanova are at Coriannis VI telling the Shadows and Vorlons to fuck off back beyond the Rim.

Then, get a job with station maintenance, keep my nose clean, and disappear into the woodwork, while Londo and the others turn their attentions to more important matters.

After all, I have a much better chance of not being randomly brutally murdered in the Babylon 5 universe than I would in the Game Of Thrones 'verse.

[FaxModem1]

Cartagia, and somehow blackmail Londo into helping me out in exchange for not blabbing to Cartagia about the plan to off him.

Cartagia find you hanging from a noose with a suicide note the day of the trial. Blackmailing Londo is NOT a good idea.

[Vendetta]

Cartagia.

Cartagia has more levers that you can at least use to defer judgement or merely secure something inconvenient but not fatal because, insane as he is, he is actually vaguely interested in ruling the Centauri and increasing their power (at least until they all have to die to fuel his apotheosis).

Joffrey is incapable of grasping the concept of exercise of power beyond the absolutely most immediate sense of making things happen that he can watch, and so will probably order you tortured to death for immediate amusement (and probably wouldn't care what you actually did, sedition is rather a fiddly word, after all).

[U.P. Cinnabar]

Cartagia, and somehow blackmail Londo into helping me out in exchange for not blabbing to Cartagia about the plan to off him.

Cartagia find you hanging from a noose with a suicide note the day of the trial. Blackmailing Londo is NOT a good idea.

And, Londo will doubtlessly explain that to me, before the sheer desperation of my ploy tickles his funnybone. Maybe enough for him to help me out a bit. Or, maybe G'kar will take pity on me. Any straw for a drowning man to grasp, however slender.

Still my chances of not being randomly brutally murdered are better in the B5 universe than in the GoT verse.

[JamesStaley]

I am not familiar with Joffrey Baratheon. Can someone explain him to me, please?

[U.P. Cinnabar]

I am not familiar with Joffrey Baratheon. Can someone explain him to me, please?

Until he met his timely but unlamented death in the usual George R.R. Martin fashion, he was the boy-king of Westeros in the TV/novel series Game of Thrones, who(surprise, surprise, Sergeant Carter) was a murdering, sadisitic, cold-blooded, unpleasant little shit. I'm sure actual fans of the series will have more to say on the subject, but that's the executive summary.

[JamesStaley]

.....And who was George R.R. Martin?
Sorry for my ignorance here folks, but I don't keep up with recent/current stuff too much, and i'm not a gamer at all.

[JamesStaley]

Okay, based on what little info i've just been given, i'd have to say Cartagia was not a totally cold-heart psycho nut-case: after all, his coming God-hood was for the good of Centuri Prime and it's people as well. "After he was a God it would be cruel to leave them behind". So he was doing it for the greater good of EVERBODY, not just himself!

[Lord Revan]

.....And who was George R.R. Martin?
Sorry for my ignorance here folks, but I don't keep up with recent/current stuff too much, and i'm not a gamer at all.

In case you've not found it out just yet George R.R. Martin is the writer for the "A song of Ice and Fire" book series on which the Game of Thrones TV series is based on.

[Simon_Jester]

Well, even pretending that you're doing what you're doing for the good of the realm shows a higher order of thinking and human(oid) decency than Joffrey was capable of showing most of the time.

[Lord Revan]

Well, even pretending that you're doing what you're doing for the good of the realm shows a higher order of thinking and human(oid) decency than Joffrey was capable of showing most of the time.

Granted that's mostly because Joffrey doesn't have any real capability for decency and capability of rational thinking is at best very minor (at worst it's non-existant) so being better them him at either isn't exactly high praise.

Or when the best defense that his uncle could muster up was "do you think I would be so incompetent as to stay around looking dazed and confused if I had killed him" whe accused of his murder tells something about what kind of person the bastard king of House Lannister was.

[Simon_Jester]

Joffrey had gone a looong way out of his way to antagonize his uncle, of course, including hiring actors to perform skits specifically intended to humiliate him personally at the very feast he was poisoned at. So it's not as though Tyrion could deny that he had the means, the motive, or the opportunity to commit the crime.

[Lord Revan]

Joffrey had gone a looong way out of his way to antagonize his uncle, of course, including hiring actors to perform skits specifically intended to humiliate him personally at the very feast he was poisoned at. So it's not as though Tyrion could deny that he had the means, the motive, or the opportunity to commit the crime.

True though not exactly a plus for Joffrey's personality. Then there was the fact it would have been easier to count the people who didn't want to kill Joffrey when he was poisoned then to count the ones who did want to kill him (who didn't want to kill him:his mother and maybe his true biological father not sure about that one though (the identity of the true father is a spoiler so I won't reveal it), who wanted to kill him: pretty much everyone else).

[U.P. Cinnabar]

.....And who was George R.R. Martin?
Sorry for my ignorance here folks, but I don't keep up with recent/current stuff too much, and i'm not a gamer at all.

Fantasy writer, (in)famous for his Game of Thrones novel series.

[SpottedKitty]

Until he met his timely but unlamented death in the usual George R.R. Martin fashion, he was the boy-king of Westeros in the TV/novel series Game of Thrones, who(surprise, surprise, Sergeant Carter) was a murdering, sadisitic, cold-blooded, unpleasant little shit. I'm sure actual fans of the series will have more to say on the subject, but that's the executive summary.

No, I think you did a pretty good job of hitting all the best points of his character.

[Q99]

Joffrey had gone a looong way out of his way to antagonize his uncle, of course, including hiring actors to perform skits specifically intended to humiliate him personally at the very feast he was poisoned at. So it's not as though Tyrion could deny that he had the means, the motive, or the opportunity to commit the crime.

But who doesn't?

Well, some may not have the means or opportunity, but nigh everyone has a motive.

[Lord Revan]

Joffrey had gone a looong way out of his way to antagonize his uncle, of course, including hiring actors to perform skits specifically intended to humiliate him personally at the very feast he was poisoned at. So it's not as though Tyrion could deny that he had the means, the motive, or the opportunity to commit the crime.

But who doesn't?

Well, some may not have the means or opportunity, but nigh everyone has a motive.

His biological parents(well at least his mother) don't want to kill him but that's about it.

[Solauren]

Hmmmm. sedition charge in B5, or Westros....


If I'm actually guilty, I'm going to go with Joffery, and then demand Trial by Combat.
Then Demand to represent myself, and that Joffery face me himself (or failing that, Jamies 'one hand' Lannister.
And I'll call him the false born bastard of incest and treason, and dare him to prove it by defeating me in fair combat.

And in the unlikely event that works, full body tackle whichever of the two I'm facing (I'm bigger then them), and hope I can kill them before I get stabbed to death.

I figure if I'm a dead man anyway, might as well make my demands memorable.

If I'm not guilty, go with Catagia, and offer to submit to truth drugs to verify that I'm innocent.