NFL Draft 2016

[Elfdart]

Thirty-two NFL teams just completed the latest crapshoot all the while pretending there's some kind of "strategy" involved in selecting college athletes in their early 20s who just might be useful players by the age of 26. Since coaches are often hired and fired based on which of these dice throws will be a winner, they try to examine every bit of evidence like the FBI Crime Lab.

Of course that doesn't stop teams and prospects from screwing the pooch every spring, which is the main entertainment value I get from watching. This year was special. Laremy Tunsil was touted as a top 5 pick as an offensive left tackle, a highly prized position -even more so because two teams in particular (Chargers, Ravens) needed help on the O-line. Tunsil was all set to go to a team where he would be a starter from day one AND earn an obscene amount of money for being drafted so highly. So what does he do?

He posts a video on Twitter where he's doing bong hits through a gas mask while reclining in front of a Confederate flag!


Then he deleted the tweet, deleted the account, and claimed his page was hacked. Oh, and ratted out one of his college coaches for paying him under the table.


While he was at it, he should have blamed it all on his long lost evil twin. It's every bit as plausible, and has the added bonus of being original.

Tunsil was then snapped up by the Dolphins for a cheaper price and because being the Dolphins, they aren't in any position to say any player is not good enough for them.

But what NFL draft would be complete without those lovable fumbledicks at NFL Network giggling like 12-year-old boys over Beavers and Bush?

[Gandalf]

I watched the draft this year, and that weird tweet was the highlight of the whole thing. It makes me wonder if the NCAA is going to restrict social media somehow for their farm system athletes.

[Alferd Packer]

Probably not at the NCAA level, because so few college athletes go on to the pros. But I'd bet dollars to donuts one of the first things all incoming players get now is a crash course in social media awareness. Hell, they may even have to sign something that says if they goof up on social media, they lose their phones. They're probably also strongly encouraged to use the team's "social media expert," (a term I just made up which, sadly, is probably an actual job title) which then allows the team to censor any questionable posts.

[Elfdart]

Draft prospects are in a kind of limbo, since they've left school (so the NCAA can't do anything) but haven't signed with a team (so the NFL can't do anything either). The top prospects usually sign with agents, so maybe the smart agents will try to stop some of the jackassery. One problem: sports agents are often a leading source of jackassery.

[Flagg]

Thirty-two NFL teams just completed the latest crapshoot all the while pretending there's some kind of "strategy" involved in selecting college athletes in their early 20s who just might be useful players by the age of 26. Since coaches are often hired and fired based on which of these dice throws will be a winner, they try to examine every bit of evidence like the FBI Crime Lab.

Of course that doesn't stop teams and prospects from screwing the pooch every spring, which is the main entertainment value I get from watching. This year was special. Laremy Tunsil was touted as a top 5 pick as an offensive left tackle, a highly prized position -even more so because two teams in particular (Chargers, Ravens) needed help on the O-line. Tunsil was all set to go to a team where he would be a starter from day one AND earn an obscene amount of money for being drafted so highly. So what does he do?

He posts a video on Twitter where he's doing bong hits through a gas mask while reclining in front of a Confederate flag!


Then he deleted the tweet, deleted the account, and claimed his page was hacked. Oh, and ratted out one of his college coaches for paying him under the table.


While he was at it, he should have blamed it all on his long lost evil twin. It's every bit as plausible, and has the added bonus of being original.

Tunsil was then snapped up by the Dolphins for a cheaper price and because being the Dolphins, they aren't in any position to say any player is not good enough for them.

But what NFL draft would be complete without those lovable fumbledicks at NFL Network giggling like 12-year-old boys over Beavers and Bush?

Sound about right.