Jeremy Clarkson declares himself 'better foreign secretary' than Boris Johnson

[TimothyC]

Jeremy Clarkson claims he helped save four men from being swept out to sea on their lilos while on holiday.

The former Top Gear presenter, who is more accustomed to finding his name in the headlines for some sort of controversy, was in the news this morning for reportedly assisting the group of men when winds blew them a mile off from the shore in Majorca.

Clarkson says he spotted the tourists while on his holiday yacht and came to their rescue.

He told The Sun: “They were all in their twenties and a mile out to sea. You’ll never paddle back in from there.

“I helped four of them. I rescued two French and two Germans.

“They burst out laughing when they saw who was rescuing them.”

After carrying out his good deed, he added on Twitter: “I have now saved all the people who were being swept out to sea by a very brisk wind and am going to the pub.”

Clarkson said his rescue proved him to be “a better and more constructive Foreign Secretary than Boris Johnson”. He added that he had apologised to the group for Brexit.

[Zaune]

Larry the Downing Street cat would make a better Foreign Secretary than Boris Johnson.

[U.P. Cinnabar]

What does Clarkson want for that? A Victoria Cross?!

[Mr Bean]

What does Clarkson want for that? A Victoria Cross?!

I think he wants the job, quick give it to him before he can take it back.

If given the choice would you give it to Clarkson that idiot over Boris Johnson?

[U.P. Cinnabar]

Oh, Clarkson definitely.

[Raw Shark]

Good on Clarkson. Speaking as the holder of a Lifesaving merit badge, I wouldn't hesitate to save the biggest asshole in the world if I saw him drowning, no matter how much of a douche I might be otherwise.

[muse]

Good on Clarkson. Speaking as the holder of a Lifesaving merit badge, I wouldn't hesitate to save the biggest asshole in the world if I saw him drowning, no matter how much of a douche I might be otherwise.

What if you knew he'd be more useful dead? Would you still save him?

[U.P. Cinnabar]

The asshole probably only did to save a couple bucks off his driver's license.

Besides, I've known bigger assholes. One of them, my former supervisor at Unarco, was a conspiracy wingnut, Catholic fundamentalist, racist wanker, anti-vaxxer, and a rabid birther, who, in one sentence, defended Darren Wilson shooting Micheal Brown 6-8 times in the center of mass(as legitimate self-defense), and opposed the death penalty as being against God's will, cause the Bible said "thou shalt not kill."

[Raw Shark]

What if you knew he'd be more useful dead? Would you still save him?

An interesting philosophical question sitting in my armchair, but in the heat of the moment I don't think about that sort of thing. The drunk who rammed six cars, a tree, and the building across the street from me at about 90mph a couple weeks ago is definitely an asshole, but I still ran over and performed first aid on him. Maybe he'll learn a life lesson and go on to speak to auditoriums full of high school kids about drinking and driving, or write a great novel that uplifts the spirits of millions, or join the Peace Corps or something.