Some men pay you to climb a small building with a cheap grapple hook.

[Archinist]

You are planting public gardens near a car park, when all of a sudden, several dozen M113 APCs arrive and drive over your garden and ruin it. A man in a car gets a hammer and bashes one of the crew to death, but then they immediately open fire with more than 300 AK-47s all at once, and the man is annihilated. Then one of the crew walks up to you and gives you 5 cheap $40 eBay grappling hooks and throws you into a M113 whereupon you black out.

When you come to, you are standing in front of a 50 meter tall abandoned residential building, and the M113s are flying above you with the aid of 5 dozen m2 browning MGs spinning around at extremely high speed. A man, dangling from one of the M113s throws a severed human head at you and the M113s roar and fly away faster than a fighter jet.

You break the head open on the ground and find a cheque for a large sum of money waiting for you, with a note telling you that there is an invisible sniper floating the in air who will shoot you if you don't follow the instructions. The note also tells you that you must climb the wall whereupon you will be freed.

You look at the 5 grappling hooks and read their product description:

"ELITE SILENT NINJA THROWING STAR EPIC GRAPPLING HOOK! EVER WANTED TO DO ALL THE SUPER DOUPER SPINNING NINJA THINGS IN THE MOVIES AND KILL ALL THE BADDIES? NOW YOU CAN! MADE OF 400% GENUINE CYLON QUANTUM MESH STAR SPY STUFF! CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING OVER 500 NATIONS FROM A SINGLE STRAND OF ROPE, THIS CORD WILL LET YOU CONQUER THE UNIVERSE!

What do you do now?

[bilateralrope]

You are planting public gardens near a car park, when all of a sudden, several dozen M113 APCs arrive

At this point I'm running.

I'll probably get caught.

You break the head open on the ground

Why the fuck would I smash open someone's severed head ?

What do you do now?

Since I didn't find the cheque or the note, I've got no idea they want me to climb the wall. So I'm leaving.

[Darth Tanner]

Are you off your meds again?

A grappling hook is going to be of limited/no use as you won't be able to throw it up 50m to catch at the top?

I instead walk home/to hospital, trusting I'm having some sort of halucenegenic episode, possible a result of some of the plants in the garden.

[Broomstick]

Seriously, WTF? Who the hell has a human head thrown at their feet and their first reaction is to break it open like a pinata?

[Ralin]

Seriously, WTF? Who the hell has a human head thrown at their feet and their first reaction is to break it open like a pinata?

Have you ever even played a video game?!

[Simon_Jester]

A lot of people who will do stuff like that in a video game would never, never do it in real life. In video games, stuff lying around will either shatter into literal nothingness or be something you can break open for power-ups and treasure. In real life, parts of people's bodies don't break open to yield anything except horribleness.

And everyone who isn't profoundly insane knows that.

[Ralin]

A lot of people who will do stuff like that in a video game would never, never do it in real life. In video games, stuff lying around will either shatter into literal nothingness or be something you can break open for power-ups and treasure. In real life, parts of people's bodies don't break open to yield anything except horribleness.

And everyone who isn't profoundly insane knows that.

You did notice who made this thread, right?

[Archinist]

A lot of people who will do stuff like that in a video game would never, never do it in real life. In video games, stuff lying around will either shatter into literal nothingness or be something you can break open for power-ups and treasure. In real life, parts of people's bodies don't break open to yield anything except horribleness.

And everyone who isn't profoundly insane knows that.

No, not always. The interior of a human body is not horrible or evil, and I don't know why you'd think that. And there are plenty of video games where either the item has no reaction at all and cannot be interacted with, or the item breaks to reveal nothing inside.

It is also possible to insert materials into people's bodies, meaning that it is indeed possible to break open someone's leg, for instance, and find a key inside, for let's say a collar, perhaps for your dog for extra security. That is just an example, and I'm sure there are many other useful reasons to insert items into someone's body.

BTW: The story is a silly fantasy and is not intended to be taken seriously. The real debate is about climbing a 50 metre wall with a stage prop/toy grapple hook.

[bilateralrope]

BTW: The story is a silly fantasy and is not intended to be taken seriously. The real debate is about climbing a 50 metre wall with a stage prop/toy grapple hook.

So you have fantasies of killing random people ?

[Archinist]

BTW: The story is a silly fantasy and is not intended to be taken seriously. The real debate is about climbing a 50 metre wall with a stage prop/toy grapple hook.

So you have fantasies of killing random people ?

No? I don't think I do.

[Broomstick]

A lot of people who will do stuff like that in a video game would never, never do it in real life. In video games, stuff lying around will either shatter into literal nothingness or be something you can break open for power-ups and treasure. In real life, parts of people's bodies don't break open to yield anything except horribleness.

And everyone who isn't profoundly insane knows that.

No, not always. The interior of a human body is not horrible or evil, and I don't know why you'd think that.

Most people have an aversion to blood, gore, and shattered bones not so much from inherent repulsion but rather empathy with the person suffering agony when their limbs were shattered and flesh torn. Most normal people. Clearly, you are not normal.

It is also possible to insert materials into people's bodies, meaning that it is indeed possible to break open someone's leg, for instance, and find a key inside, for let's say a collar, perhaps for your dog for extra security. That is just an example, and I'm sure there are many other useful reasons to insert items into someone's body.

WTF?

Your example is a key for your dog's collar? Not something actually plausible like, say, a pacemaker which actually benefits the person? No, you go straight for stupid shit.

BTW: The story is a silly fantasy and is not intended to be taken seriously.

Don't worry - NO ONE is taking you seriously.

The real debate is about climbing a 50 metre wall with a stage prop/toy grapple hook.

Can't be done. What's the debate? Even with adequate climbing tools very few people have the upper body strength required to do such a thing, that takes extensive training. With a "stage prop"? Not a fucking chance.

See, that's the problem with your hypotheticals, they display a very profound ingnorance.

Instead of all the stupid ass window dressing why no just start a thread discussing how/what's required to climb a 50 story building?

[Broomstick]

Seriously, WTF? Who the hell has a human head thrown at their feet and their first reaction is to break it open like a pinata?

Have you ever even played a video game?!

Sweetheart, I've been playing games since before most people on this forum were born, yes, I've played video games. Including games full of stupid. "Smash open severed head like pinata" is still not my first impulse on seeing a severed head.

[Archinist]

Okay, so I actually got the idea for this thread of a reddit TIFU story involving some guy getting a grappling hook stage model and trying to climb a building with it. The contraption broke before he could get very far, but apparently it still took him a little bit up the building before it failed. Therefore, I am wondering what the average person could do with it, what they would do in such a scenario and how it would turn out for them.

The grappling hook still did grab onto something, and could still be used as a climbing rope, so it is not impossible.

[Darth Tanner]

You can buy a proper climbing rope for £25 and a proper grappling hook for £8 so $40 odd.

The issue is you can't just magically throw a grappling hook up 50m and even if you could most people lack the upper body strength to simply climb a rope with no climbing gear.

Do you keep the key to your dogs collar (what sort of dog collar needs a key?) inside your leg?

[bilateralrope]

Okay, so I actually got the idea for this thread of a reddit TIFU story involving some guy getting a grappling hook stage model and trying to climb a building with it. The contraption broke before he could get very far, but apparently it still took him a little bit up the building before it failed. Therefore, I am wondering what the average person could do with it, what they would do in such a scenario and how it would turn out for them.

The grappling hook still did grab onto something, and could still be used as a climbing rope, so it is not impossible.

Then ask the question you'd like answered. By now you should be able to predict that we will respond to your entire post. We will not ignore part of it just because you want us to.

[Archinist]

You can buy a proper climbing rope for £25 and a proper grappling hook for £8 so $40 odd.

The issue is you can't just magically throw a grappling hook up 50m and even if you could most people lack the upper body strength to simply climb a rope with no climbing gear.

Do you keep the key to your dogs collar (what sort of dog collar needs a key?) inside your leg?

It's an old residential building, so I'm sure it would have all the nooks and crannies around to launch a hook up and keep going.

Most of those hooks are probably not safe for actual climbing, and are used more a decoration to go with a halloween spy costume for instance. I mean, a toy "super spy cloak" grappling hook is around $40, so it would make sense that a real grappling hook/similar equipment would be more than $300.

As for the dog, well I don't have a dog directly under my command, so no.

[Zwinmar]

DOOD, wtf is wrong with you? You need to go get help.

I have actually used a grappling hook in training, It was easier to form a ladder with the squad than use it so we never took it along.

[Broomstick]

It's an old residential building, so I'm sure it would have all the nooks and crannies around to launch a hook up and keep going.

If there are a lot of nooks and crannies you might get farther with free-climbing techniques.

Here's the problem with the OP: you have so much window dressing on it that the reader loses sight of your real question, which is about climbing with a grappling hook and how well the average person would do with it. So people focus on all the other bits and don't get to your question. If you're going to do a RAR! and do it well everything needs to be focused on the primary question/premise.

Guys, anyone got some classic well done RAR! threads we can point this guy to?

[Ziggy Stardust]

This is the same guy that thinks putting on a coat will make you colder. If you show him a well-done RAR thread I pretty much guarantee he will take exactly the wrong lessons from it.

[Iroscato]

That heater's definitely to blame for this, poor lad's brains are addled.

[LadyTevar]

Locked, as there's more "Are you fuckin' stupid" posts than actual discussion.