How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

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aerius
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How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by aerius »

So the other day I was at the bar with my friends when the conversation went to fleshlights and sex dolls after we got through the usual topics. And since we're good friends, we can talk about anything without judgement, so I was like "you ever wonder how you clean out a Real Doll after you cum in it?", and my buddy says "you know, that's a good question, cause you can't just flush it out in the sink like a fleshlight". And that's how we spent the next 5-10 minutes hypothesizing on how to clean the spunk out of a Real Doll after use and laughing our asses off. My wife heard part of the conversation and wasn't nearly as amused.
Spoiler
Our best theory is as follows. A Real Doll is probably a good 80-100 lbs so it would be a pain in the ass to drag it into the bathtub after each use, so there must be some kind of cleaning kit & procedure for it. We think you need to douche it to get most of the jizz out, then you take a small bottle brush and some cleaning solution to finish scrubbing out the body cavities.
Another friend also noted that the latest Real Doll models have AI speech recognition and will actually talk back to you. So obviously the next questions were "how sad would it be if your Real Doll says no?" and also "is it rape if you fuck your Real Doll after it says no?" Discuss, and feel free to ask questions you wouldn't ask in polite company.
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Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by General Zod »

For the price of a real-doll you're probably better off just getting a self-cleaning hooker.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by TheFeniX »

..................................... .... fuck it. Some of the higher end dolls have detachable genitals. For the mouth, I have no idea. Some have sleaves that are easy to remove. Use a condom. Also, the stuff isn't that hard to clean up as long as there's nothing around to absorb it. So, you're already fucking a toy, man up and use some water wipes to clean that shit out.

.... Don't look at me like that, I just know things.
aerius wrote:Another friend also noted that the latest Real Doll models have AI speech recognition and will actually talk back to you. So obviously the next questions were "how sad would it be if your Real Doll says no?" and also "is it rape if you fuck your Real Doll after it says no?" Discuss, and feel free to ask questions you wouldn't ask in polite company.
No. It's not an intelligent AI nor is it "living" by even the most sci-fi of definitions. Even then, just like playing out "rape fantasies" between consenting partners isn't illegal, I wouldn't think creating a simple program to say "no" based certain criteria would be illegal either. Creepy maybe.

This would be in the same boat as treating AI in video games as real people (which I swear some country tried or is trying to do). While this IS a form of AI, it's simple script based responses and is not actually intelligent. My animals in my animal game might die if I don't feed them. Am I guilty of animal cruelty if I just don't even load the game up again?

My son has a bear that says "Ow" when you press certain buttons. It wouldn't shut up one night, so I threw it. It hit the wall and said "Ow." Did it actually feel pain? If not, did the sexmotron doll actually mean "no?" No, it can't reason, it's a sextoy.

That said, personally, while I'm usually big on "to each his own," I'd consider this "pretty fucked up," to use a technical term.

Now here's a fucked up scenario about VR. If you crammed a sexdoll with a camera, speaker, mic, and other sensors and your (human) partner put on a VR helmet and you started going at it and SHE said "stop" and you didn't stop. What's the deal? Imagine there's some kind of toy on her end now? What if 100 other really weird shit that could crop up with Internet connections and vibrating things?

NOTE: I thought of this a long time ago after watching Lawnmower Man (particularly the cyber "rape" scene) and an old HBO Real Sex with a part about the original Real Dolls. At what point will "consent" and "harm" become a TOTAL legal and ethical clusterfuck?

Also, I envy you because when my friends and I go to the bar, they all talk about goddamn fantasy football (EVEN IN THE OFF SEASON). Sexdoll talk would be an upgrade.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by General Zod »

TheFeniX wrote:..................................... .... fuck it. Some of the higher end dolls have detachable genitals. For the mouth, I have no idea. Some have sleaves that are easy to remove. Use a condom. Also, the stuff isn't that hard to clean up as long as there's nothing around to absorb it. So, you're already fucking a toy, man up and use some water wipes to clean that shit out.
Maybe they're Russian design?

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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by Archinist »

TheFeniX wrote:
Now here's a fucked up scenario about VR. If you crammed a sexdoll with a camera, speaker, mic, and other sensors and your (human) partner put on a VR helmet and you started going at it and SHE said "stop" and you didn't stop. What's the deal? Imagine there's some kind of toy on her end now? What if 100 other really weird shit that could crop up with Internet connections and vibrating things?
They could just either disconnect or remove the toys from their bodies.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by TheFeniX »

General Zod wrote:Maybe they're Russian design?
More German considering Krieger actually built the fucking thing (PHRASING, BOOM!*).

Though Mitsuko is a good example (of the AI issue) because she seems self-aware beyond that of a simple response based AI. She loves Kreiger, but did he program her to love him? Is it actually a form of slavery? Would self-aware sex-dolls be the same? What if he had crammed her AI into Katya's reanimated Cyborg body?

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Archinist wrote:They could just either disconnect or remove the toys from their bodies.
That still leaves X amount of time of "rape" happening once consent is withdrawn. Just because you have an easy escape doesn't imply consent.

*weak on my part, but lunchtime is almost over and I'm not that clever.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by General Zod »

TheFeniX wrote:
General Zod wrote:Maybe they're Russian design?
More German considering Krieger actually built the fucking thing (PHRASING, BOOM!*).

Though Mitsuko is a good example (of the AI issue) because she seems self-aware beyond that of a simple response based AI. She loves Kreiger, but did he program her to love him? Is it actually a form of slavery? Would self-aware sex-dolls be the same? What if he had crammed her AI into Katya's reanimated Cyborg body?
At one point I think Krieger remarked that he kills her every night.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by muse »

TheFeniX wrote:Now here's a fucked up scenario about VR. If you crammed a sexdoll with a camera, speaker, mic, and other sensors and your (human) partner put on a VR helmet and you started going at it and SHE said "stop" and you didn't stop. What's the deal? Imagine there's some kind of toy on her end now? What if 100 other really weird shit that could crop up with Internet connections and vibrating things?
I believe that falls under accessory to crime. But I am not a lawyer. If we lived in a more Orwellian you'd be charged with thought crimes and sent away for re-education since you've shown intent and willingness to carry out your intent on the victim. Once again, I am not a lawyer.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by aerius »

General Zod wrote:For the price of a real-doll you're probably better off just getting a self-cleaning hooker.
Since this is a board based on science and numbers and shit, I looked up the price of a Real Doll and the cost of hookers in my city. A Real Doll would cost me around $8000 whereas a hooker is about $300 an hour. This puts the break even point at a bit under 27 hours of use on the Real Doll, so all else being equal, if you plan on getting more 27 or more appointments with hookers in your lifetime, you'll be ahead if you get a Real Doll. Personally, I'd go with Fleshlights and hookers if I were stuck in that hypothetical scenario.
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aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. :)
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Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by General Zod »

aerius wrote:
General Zod wrote:For the price of a real-doll you're probably better off just getting a self-cleaning hooker.
Since this is a board based on science and numbers and shit, I looked up the price of a Real Doll and the cost of hookers in my city. A Real Doll would cost me around $8000 whereas a hooker is about $300 an hour. This puts the break even point at a bit under 27 hours of use on the Real Doll, so all else being equal, if you plan on getting more 27 or more appointments with hookers in your lifetime, you'll be ahead if you get a Real Doll. Personally, I'd go with Fleshlights and hookers if I were stuck in that hypothetical scenario.
On the other hand, it's a lot easier for most people to save up $300 than it is $8000.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by Zeropoint »

I have to admit that I haven't TRIED one, but it's hard for me to imagine that using a Realdoll would be as good an experience as an escort that's doing a good job.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by Archinist »

muse wrote:
TheFeniX wrote:Now here's a fucked up scenario about VR. If you crammed a sexdoll with a camera, speaker, mic, and other sensors and your (human) partner put on a VR helmet and you started going at it and SHE said "stop" and you didn't stop. What's the deal? Imagine there's some kind of toy on her end now? What if 100 other really weird shit that could crop up with Internet connections and vibrating things?
I believe that falls under accessory to crime. But I am not a lawyer. If we lived in a more Orwellian you'd be charged with thought crimes and sent away for re-education since you've shown intent and willingness to carry out your intent on the victim. Once again, I am not a lawyer.
So what would happen if they set everything up so that they could request their partner to "stop", but their partner couldn't hear them and they recorded it?
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by aerius »

General Zod wrote:On the other hand, it's a lot easier for most people to save up $300 than it is $8000.
New business idea: Sex doll rentals. For half the price of a hooker, you can rent a Real Doll to satisfy your needs. Just don't damage it. I wonder how much of a market there is for sex doll rentals, and how much people will pay for this service. Cleaning the damn things is going to be a bitch though, I'll need to hire someone to do that part for me.
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aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. :)
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Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by Elheru Aran »

aerius wrote:
General Zod wrote:On the other hand, it's a lot easier for most people to save up $300 than it is $8000.
New business idea: Sex doll rentals. For half the price of a hooker, you can rent a Real Doll to satisfy your needs. Just don't damage it. I wonder how much of a market there is for sex doll rentals, and how much people will pay for this service. Cleaning the damn things is going to be a bitch though, I'll need to hire someone to do that part for me.
No thanks. The clap is the clap, whether you get it from an escort or a hunk of silicone. And yes, it can happen. There's an Ig Nobel prize for that.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by aerius »

Elheru Aran wrote:No thanks. The clap is the clap, whether you get it from an escort or a hunk of silicone. And yes, it can happen. There's an Ig Nobel prize for that.
That's why a professional cleaning service/procedure is needed. Dunking the sex doll in isopropyl alcohol should do the trick, or maybe I'll go high tech and use the the power of radiation.
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aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. :)
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Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by TheFeniX »

I don't know why I "think" I know this, but I'm pretty sure at least in the sad state of Texas: resale of sex toys is illegal due to (probably Religious) "health concerns." Though I can't say I disagree with that. I've never had the inkling to try out even a fleshlight in any more than a "that... might be cool?" kind of way. So, if I somehow stumbled into one (Are we not doing phrasing anymore?): sure, why not.

But "hey bro, you wanna borrow this thing I've blown my load into 100 times? Don't worry, I cleaned it." would be a answered with a firm "nah dude.... nah."
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by Col. Crackpot »

Aerius, over the years there have been a few times where I stopped and wondered how many bodies are buried in your basement.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

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More then there should be, less then you think?
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by Col. Crackpot »

Someone refresh my memory as it has been at least a dozen years... was it Aerius who pondered the question as to who squeegeed up the spunk off the holodeck floor?
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by aerius »

Col. Crackpot wrote:Someone refresh my memory as it has been at least a dozen years... was it Aerius who pondered the question as to who squeegeed up the spunk off the holodeck floor?
Nah, that wasn't me. At least there's no evidence it was me. I don't remember it and a search doesn't pull up anything so I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. Also, everyone knows that you shouldn't bury bodies in your basement, it leaves voids in the concrete and that can really screw up the foundation. Here in Canada, we leave the bodies in the forests to feed the bears.
TheFeniX wrote:I don't know why I "think" I know this, but I'm pretty sure at least in the sad state of Texas: resale of sex toys is illegal due to (probably Religious) "health concerns." Though I can't say I disagree with that.
Isn't pretty much everything related to sex toys illegal in Texas? I thought they had a dildo ban in that state for fuck's sake.
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aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. :)
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Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by General Zod »

aerius wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:Someone refresh my memory as it has been at least a dozen years... was it Aerius who pondered the question as to who squeegeed up the spunk off the holodeck floor?
Nah, that wasn't me. At least there's no evidence it was me. I don't remember it and a search doesn't pull up anything so I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. Also, everyone knows that you shouldn't bury bodies in your basement, it leaves voids in the concrete and that can really screw up the foundation. Here in Canada, we leave the bodies in the forests to feed the bears.
TheFeniX wrote:I don't know why I "think" I know this, but I'm pretty sure at least in the sad state of Texas: resale of sex toys is illegal due to (probably Religious) "health concerns." Though I can't say I disagree with that.
Isn't pretty much everything related to sex toys illegal in Texas? I thought they had a dildo ban in that state for fuck's sake.
Alabammy is the one with the dildo ban. You can't buy alcohol until past noon on a Sunday in Texas, though. :finger:
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by phred »

How much alcohol do you drink that you can't just stock up on Saturday?
Col. Crackpot wrote:Someone refresh my memory as it has been at least a dozen years... was it Aerius who pondered the question as to who squeegeed up the spunk off the holodeck floor?
A: I'm sure there's an automated system for that
B: It may have been Shroomy with that question
C: Why isn't Shroomy in this thread? He could do some serious damage here
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by The_Saint »

Wasn't that question answered in the UPF adventure?
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

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phred wrote:How much alcohol do you drink that you can't just stock up on Saturday?
I had a rough Friday/Saturday and I didn't have the chance to go to the liquor store until it was closed.
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Re: How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

Post by TheFeniX »

aerius wrote:Isn't pretty much everything related to sex toys illegal in Texas? I thought they had a dildo ban in that state for fuck's sake.
That got overturned a while ago. I still don't know why I think resale of used sex toys is illegal though.
General Zod wrote:Alabammy is the one with the dildo ban. You can't buy alcohol until past noon on a Sunday in Texas, though. :finger:
Pfft, you beer and wine guys and your complaints ring hollow. Imagine a three-day weekend and not realizing until Sunday morning you're out of Whiskey. So, you either buy up some swill like Mike's Hard Lemonade or you just don't drink. Either way, it's painful.
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