How to clean a sex doll, and answers to questions you never knew you needed to ask

[General Zod]

Isn't pretty much everything related to sex toys illegal in Texas? I thought they had a dildo ban in that state for fuck's sake.

That got overturned a while ago. I still don't know why I think resale of used sex toys is illegal though.

Alabammy is the one with the dildo ban. You can't buy alcohol until past noon on a Sunday in Texas, though.

Pfft, you beer and wine guys and your complaints ring hollow. Imagine a three-day weekend and not realizing until Sunday morning you're out of Whiskey. So, you either buy up some swill like Mike's Hard Lemonade or you just don't drink. Either way, it's painful.

I wanted to buy whiskey but since the liquor stores were closed I thought I'd settle for a six pack of Stella. But no, 7-11 wasn't having any of that.

[TheFeniX]

I wanted to buy whiskey but since the liquor stores were closed I thought I'd settle for a six pack of Stella. But no, 7-11 wasn't having any of that.

I had to Google that beer: "Stella Artois has been nicknamed "Wife Beater" in the United Kingdom, due to a perceived connection with aggression and binge drinking."

Fucking spit Root Beer on my monitor.

[General Zod]

I wanted to buy whiskey but since the liquor stores were closed I thought I'd settle for a six pack of Stella. But no, 7-11 wasn't having any of that.

I had to Google that beer: "Stella Artois has been nicknamed "Wife Beater" in the United Kingdom, due to a perceived connection with aggression and binge drinking."

Fucking spit Root Beer on my monitor.

I didn't know about the reputation until after I started drinking it. It does go down smooth and faintly smells of marijuana though.

[InsaneTD]

Yeah, for some reason the export versions of some beers are of better quality then the locally available version. There's a couple Australian beers that are like that. The local one is considered cheap swill, only fit for cooking with or drinking by rednecks/bogans/chavs/insert local version of singlet and jeans wanker/inbred hick.

Edit: bloody autocorrect.

[Alferd Packer]

I didn't know about the reputation until after I started drinking it. It does go down smooth and faintly smells of marijuana though.

Two reasons for that:

1. It's skunked in the bottle. Green glass lets in more UV radiation than brown glass. UV radiation causes chemicals found in hops to produce thiols, the same chemical that gives a skunk its distinct aroma.
2. The North German hops used to make Stella are naturally pungent, and already contain traces of the same skunky chemical. This is why even if you get Stella in cans, or on tap at a bar, you'll still get a faint whiff of skunk (though much less than bottles).

[Col. Crackpot]

I didn't know about the reputation until after I started drinking it. It does go down smooth and faintly smells of marijuana though.

Two reasons for that:

1. It's skunked in the bottle. Green glass lets in more UV radiation than brown glass. UV radiation causes chemicals found in hops to produce thiols, the same chemical that gives a skunk its distinct aroma.
2. The North German hops used to make Stella are naturally pungent, and already contain traces of the same skunky chemical. This is why even if you get Stella in cans, or on tap at a bar, you'll still get a faint whiff of skunk (though much less than bottles).

Which is is why Stella ( and Beck's, Pilsener Urquell etc.) is always better on draft. Stella is actually fucking magnificent on draft. Heineken is rancid Dutch deer piss regardless of what it comes in.

[Raw Shark]

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this board?

Also, $300 average for a hooker? Maybe for one with a great body, an amazing personality, and a killer smile, but out on the streets where this shark swims you're looking at about $20.

[Col. Crackpot]

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this board?

Also, $300 average for a hooker? Maybe for one with a great body, an amazing personality, and a killer smile, but out on the streets where this shark swims you're looking at about $20.

$300CAD. That's like $18. Also what self respecting hooker takes pink and purple money?

[The_Saint]

Life's cheap in your waters Raw Shark, there's probably <$300 hookers in my waters but anyone worth spending money on is $400+ p/h...

[Raw Shark]

Life's cheap in your waters Raw Shark, there's probably <$300 hookers in my waters but anyone worth spending money on is $400+ p/h...

I don't spend money at all, but I've had some cheap offers.

[aerius]

$300CAD. That's like $18. Also what self respecting hooker takes pink and purple money?

About $230 actually. Also, it's red and purple. And fresh Canadian bills smell like maple syrup, which is pretty fucking awesome.

As for prostitutes, I don't know the cost of the streetwalkers since that's a part of town I stay the hell away from, I'm going by the escort services which are pricing at $300 or so.

[General Zod]

$300CAD. That's like $18. Also what self respecting hooker takes pink and purple money?

About $230 actually. Also, it's red and purple. And fresh Canadian bills smell like maple syrup, which is pretty fucking awesome.

As for prostitutes, I don't know the cost of the streetwalkers since that's a part of town I stay the hell away from, I'm going by the escort services which are pricing at $300 or so.

All the legit escorts are on the internet these days.

[Raw Shark]

As for prostitutes, I don't know the cost of the streetwalkers since that's a part of town I stay the hell away from, I'm going by the escort services which are pricing at $300 or so.

You and I hang out in very different parts of town, then. And escorts are a very different profession from streetwalkers.

[General Zod]

As for prostitutes, I don't know the cost of the streetwalkers since that's a part of town I stay the hell away from, I'm going by the escort services which are pricing at $300 or so.

You and I hang out in very different parts of town, then. And escorts are a very different profession from streetwalkers.

It's a matter of semantics.

[Col. Crackpot]

$300CAD. That's like $18. Also what self respecting hooker takes pink and purple money?

About $230 actually. Also, it's red and purple. And fresh Canadian bills smell like maple syrup, which is pretty fucking awesome.

As for prostitutes, I don't know the cost of the streetwalkers since that's a part of town I stay the hell away from, I'm going by the escort services which are pricing at $300 or so.

All the legit escorts are on the internet these days.

"Legit"
Go Google yourself up a whore and see who gets to your house first, Destiny from the interweb hooker store or Johnny Law.

[LaCroix]

You know, prostitution IS legal in a lot of places...

[Elheru Aran]

All the legit escorts are on the internet these days.

"Legit"
Go Google yourself up a whore and see who gets to your house first, Destiny from the interweb hooker store or Johnny Law.

Poke around certain corners of the Net and you'll see that it's surprisingly easy to find proper prostitutes, with reviews even. There's whole fora dedicated to the "hobby". Law busts are surprisingly low, although that can depend on location-- they're more likely to just book any prostitutes they catch, going after the johns is too much trouble unless they set up a sting, and they'll never do "outcall" (going to the client's house/location) because it's too risky.

[aerius]

You know, prostitution IS legal in a lot of places...

Or even if it's technically illegal like where I live, it's effectively legal for all intents & purposes since the only thing that gets policed is streetwalkers and illegal immigration/human smuggling. Law enforcement goes after the agencies/crime lords if they suspect that something isn't kosher, they're not going to come after me if I order up a pair of bisexual twins for my kinky needs.

[Khaat]

Have a tripod and video camera, and get a quick release form template off the internet: you aren't hiring a hooker, you're hiring a pornstar.

[General Zod]

Have a tripod and video camera, and get a quick release form template off the internet: you aren't hiring a hooker, you're hiring a pornstar.

I hope you can afford pornstar prices.

[Raw Shark]

According to a vice cop who I know (what? I can't trash the cops all the time and still hang out with one? If I contradict myself, then I contradict myself. I contain multitudes) going after prostitutes is just depressing. They're not going to stop, you're just wasting everybody's time.

[Elheru Aran]

According to a vice cop who I know (what? I can't trash the cops all the time and still hang out with one? If I contradict myself, then I contradict myself. I contain multitudes) going after prostitutes is just depressing. They're not going to stop, you're just wasting everybody's time.

Basically, yeah. They'll snatch the low hanging fruit all the time, the streetwalkers/druggies/idiot johns, but there are so many prostitutes out there, using the power of the Internet to stay out of trouble, that it's too much bother and expense for most forces to maintain more than a few vice officers. Vice squads these days are more concerned with serious stuff like human trafficking and child porn-- two people consensually fucking after exchanging a sum of money is rather low on the list.

Doesn't mean they won't occasionally post an ad on Backpage and try to nick a few dumbasses, but on the whole most of the prostitutes and "hobbyists" out there are smart enough to not get caught at the job.

[The_Saint]

Random anecdote: My local 'house of ill repute' (when it existed) had the lease on half a building where a lawn bowls club had the other half as their club rooms. The brothel was so low key (and apparently the ladies quite polite) that the bowls club would have visitors mix up the front doors, get redirected to the correct door and after asking at the club what the other half the building was, were quite surprised when told what the business was.

In the last 10 years the law has cracked down on such things though (through pandering to the ageing Christian population segment) and so basically sex workers have to be 'self employed' and no more than two to a single premise.

[LaCroix]

We don't allow street walkers, but self-employment at home or in brothels or clubs is fine. I'm driving past 4 or 5 brothels or 'Laufhaus' each leg of my commute, and if you know the usual signs, easily double that in at-home private ventures in rental buildings

We even have billboard&newspaper ads(with rauchy pictures) and some even air radio spots. I believe a big swinger club once had a series of tv ads done.

[AMX]

We don't allow street walkers...

That's not actually true.
They are limited to a few specific areas, but not completely illegal.