Everything you wanted to know about life behind bars!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-03-27 03:28pm

Damn, I was expecting at least a couple people getting stabbed with sharpened spoons or getting shanked with improvised shivs during those 9 months.

The most creative improvised weapon I've heard of was a shiv made from melting down Saran wrap on the cell radiator. This happened in a jail one of my friends worked at before he became a police officer. The perp had been tossed in solitary after starting a riot and fighting the prison guards. While in solitary he saved all the Saran wrap that they put on top of his food containers and melted them together on top of the radiator. He then sharpened the shiv on the concrete floor and when he got put back into the general population a month later he shanked his cellmate.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-03-27 03:32pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Geez. This is jail he's talking about people! Murders might happen in LA County jail, but that's known as a worse hell-hole than most prisons in the country.
I'm surprised no one's expressed any shock at the fact that I've been to jail. Heh, 3 different ones, actually.

I'm both shocked and surprised, since you seemed to be one of those
nice-guys.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-03-27 03:33pm

MKSheppard wrote:Oh almost forgot:

A few years before I arrived, a prisoner stabbed a guard with a ballpoint
pen, and because of that, they took away all of our normal ballpoint
pens and issued us with flexible pens, which were pieces of shit. when
we tried to "stiffen" up the pens so we could write easier with them,
they became "contraband" subject to seizure

Ah yes, the infamous Bic pen of doom, those things are pretty nasty. Few people realize how much damage those things can do, especially when they shear on impact into nice jagged pieces.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-03-27 03:36pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: Have A Nice Day.

Einy, I am getting FUCKING tired of people using my time
in jail as an ad homimem insult, so please sit down
and shut up, OK?

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-03-27 03:37pm

Are the toilets arranged so that you have to do your business in front of everyone?

Were there lots of fights, especially race fights, and did the average dude have to have a shiv just to get by?

Were the guards assholes or relatively professional? How about the prisoners: laid back about the whole thing and doin' their time or constantly power-tripping and being king of the hill?

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-03-27 03:39pm

MKSheppard wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: Have A Nice Day.

Einy, I am getting FUCKING tired of people using my time
in jail as an ad homimem insult, so please sit down
and shut up, OK?

Hey, I spent a night in Orleans Parish Prison, and trust me IT WAS NO FUN! I'm not proud of it, and quite frankly, I see no way you could be proud of your jail time.

It was a joke anyway. Don't get your pantyhose all in a run, ok? Lata and Happy Fragging!

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-03-27 03:44pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: Hey, I spent a night in Orleans Parish Prison, and trust me IT WAS NO FUN! I'm not proud of it, and quite frankly, I see no way you could be proud of your jail time.

I'm not. it's a huge mistake that I could have done without, and I
have to deal with the fallout from that incident even now, several years
later.

I'm just correcting people's misconceptions about my jail time here to
head off pathetic ad homimem insults against me later in the future

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-03-27 03:46pm

Coyote wrote:Are the toilets arranged so that you have to do your business in front of everyone?

No, each jail cell had it's own toilet. However, during lockdown, you did
have to end up doing your business in front of your cellie.

Were there lots of fights, especially race fights, and did the average dude have to have a shiv just to get by?

Not in my wing, which was the medical wing. However, there were one or
two fights in the other wings in E block during my time. We didn't get
to see them, but we knew about them when those wings were locked
down for the day.

Were the guards assholes or relatively professional? How about the prisoners: laid back about the whole thing and doin' their time or constantly power-tripping and being king of the hill?

Guards were professional. Most of the prisoners were laid back about
the whole thing. It was a sort of game, seeing how much you could
get past the guards, such as porn rags, tobacco, etc.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-03-27 04:20pm

What did you do for exercise when you weren't reading a book?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-03-27 04:21pm

Next of Kin wrote:What did you do for exercise when you weren't reading a book?

They let us out into the exercise yard at noon-time each day, when it
wasn't snowing or raining, or cold.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-03-27 04:23pm

MKSheppard wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: Hey, I spent a night in Orleans Parish Prison, and trust me IT WAS NO FUN! I'm not proud of it, and quite frankly, I see no way you could be proud of your jail time.
I'm not. it's a huge mistake that I could have done without, and I
have to deal with the fallout from that incident even now, several years
later.

I'm just correcting people's misconceptions about my jail time here to
head off pathetic ad homimem insults against me later in the future

Okay, my apologies for that joke then. Besides as far as I'm concerned, I have no beef with you.

Lata and Happy Fragging!

P.S. Do you play Quake?

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-03-27 04:24pm

Was there any special reason why you were placed in the medical wing?

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-03-27 05:38pm

Only assholes get caught, Shep your a disgrace to ordinary decent criminals everywhere

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-03-27 05:45pm

Raxmei wrote:Was there any special reason why you were placed in the medical wing?

Shep's legally deaf. That's probably why.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-03-27 05:56pm

Mind you when I was a poor college student I had one of the longest indepth chats with a released murderer, on a bus ride. We actually talked about Dostoyeski, Machevelli, Tolstoy, Sartre, Pasternak, Hugo & Dumas and many others.

Definatly made my exame on Philosophy and Liturature more interesting that month.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-27 06:25pm

Also, did you try to escape? Did anyone try to espace while you were there? If so, how did they do it?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-03-27 09:12pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, did you try to escape? Did anyone try to espace while you were there? If so, how did they do it?

Thought a LOT about escaping while stewing in cell during lockdown. Idle fantasies mostly.

IRL, it isn't worth it. Automatic 10+ year sentence for even attempting
to escape, no ifs, buts, or whatever.

THe last time someone escaped from Seven Locks Road Jail was
almost 15-20 years ago...

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-03-27 09:47pm

Could you elaborate more on what got you into jail?

nechronius · Post by **nechronius** » 2003-03-28 05:41pm

You possess firearms or did you have to give those up?