What to do with Bin Laden?

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What to do with Bin Laden?

Post by Nathan F »

Assuming he isn't dead, what should be done with him if caught?

Personally, I think that we oughta tie him to a fire hydrant in the middle of Manhattan and let them take care of him.

That, or, he could be paraded around the country in a cage so people could throw things (eggs, rotten tomatoes, spam...)
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Re: What to do with Bin Laden?

Post by Darth Wong »

Nathan F wrote:Assuming he isn't dead, what should be done with him if caught?

Personally, I think that we oughta tie him to a fire hydrant in the middle of Manhattan and let them take care of him.

That, or, he could be paraded around the country in a cage so people could throw things (eggs, rotten tomatoes, spam...)
He won't be taken alive, assuming he's not dead already.
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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

He should become the first man to walk on the surface of the sun! :twisted:
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Post by Perinquus »

Assuming he's not already dead, the best thing would be for him to be killed without anyone ever knowing about it. If you kill him and it becomes known, he's a martyr and the terrorists will likely recruit scads of young fanatics hoping to follow in the footsteps of their hero. Ditto if he's taken alive and executed. This also gives him a chance to look brave and dignified at the end, which again, might inspire Arab fanatics. If he's taken alive and imprisoned for life, like Rudolf Hess at Spandau prison, look forward to terrorist attacks meant to break him out, or attacks and hostage takings where the terrorists demand his freedom.

But if he just disappears, and nobody ever hears from him again... It makes us seem a little more dangerous and deadly to the Islamofascists, and denies him that martyr status.
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Post by Darth Wong »

If he's captured alive, drug him, stick him in a cave, and then blow it up. Later, sift through the rubble and say "Whoa, he got blowed up real good by a bomb! I guess we musta got that dude by accident a few months ago! Gee, what an anti-climax ..."
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Post by Howedar »

I concur.
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Post by Ignorant twit »

Seriously? If he's captured alive, the truth should be hid ulmost indefinately whilst we do whatever is possible to drain his brain.

Otherwise I think we should force feed him Vodka until he passes out. Then put him in a car in some deserted cliff in Pakistan. Place a brick on the gas petal and drive him over the edge. Nobody ever made a martyr out of drunk who killed themselves. And to be on the safe side we slip him some time released cyanide just in case he survives his flight.
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Post by irishmick79 »

Strap his ass onto a bomb and drop him into Baghdad.
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Post by Stormbringer »

If we find him, shoot him in the head and then bury him in a shallow grave. Deny ever finding him.

If we find him dead then bury him and deny everything.
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Post by Next of Kin »

Stormbringer wrote:If we find him, shoot him in the head and then bury him in a shallow grave.
Wrapped in swine-skin?
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Post by 2000AD »

I'd go along with what other people have said. Kill himand deny you found him. Let him fade away.
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Post by Ignorant twit »

2000AD wrote:I'd go along with what other people have said. Kill himand deny you found him. Let him fade away.
At some point that becomes counter productive, he becomes the legendary figure who escaped US might. The goal should be to have people not admire him.

Hence I think filling him with vodka and faking a car wreck would be MUCH preferable to leaving him to rot. He's a symbol that needs to be dealt with. Discredit and destroy. If not that, then something along Mike's proposal so it is exceptionally anti-climatic.

Leaving him to be some frikking rallying point, the great Usama who the west couldn't catch, is not a particularly good thing.
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Post by Perinquus »

Ignorant twit wrote:
2000AD wrote:I'd go along with what other people have said. Kill himand deny you found him. Let him fade away.
At some point that becomes counter productive, he becomes the legendary figure who escaped US might. The goal should be to have people not admire him.

Hence I think filling him with vodka and faking a car wreck would be MUCH preferable to leaving him to rot. He's a symbol that needs to be dealt with. Discredit and destroy. If not that, then something along Mike's proposal so it is exceptionally anti-climatic.

Leaving him to be some frikking rallying point, the great Usama who the west couldn't catch, is not a particularly good thing.
If he's never heard from again, he's not the legendary figure the West couldn't catch. He's the guy who launched an attack on the U.S. and was never heard from again. It avoids the martyr problem and leaves us looking more dangerous, powerful, and ruthless.
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Post by Stormbringer »

Next of Kin wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:If we find him, shoot him in the head and then bury him in a shallow grave.
Wrapped in swine-skin?
Of course. And covered in ham grease and with a mouth full of bacon!
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Post by Montcalm »

Before doing any of the idea suggested if he`s still alive,stick him in a cell with Bubba :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:
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Post by TrailerParkJawa »

irishmick79 wrote:Strap his ass onto a bomb and drop him into Baghdad.
Dropping him out of a B-52 strapped to a bomb would be kinda funny.

Give him an oxygen mask so he does not pass out on the way down.
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Make it look like he killed himself drunk on vodka eating Pork Rinds. Three unforgiveable sins, all in one delicious package!
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Post by Nathan F »

Stormbringer wrote:
Next of Kin wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:If we find him, shoot him in the head and then bury him in a shallow grave.
Wrapped in swine-skin?
Of course. And covered in ham grease and with a mouth full of bacon!
With cans of spam shoved up his a$$.
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Post by Durandal »

Here's what I'd like to see, though it will never happen.
Strip him down and strap him to a table in Time Square. Give a thumbtack with a magnetized head to those whose family members were killed in the World Trade Center and USS Cole attacks. Line the victims' families up single file, and let them stick the thumbtacks wherever they want, and let them grind it into him, if they so desire. Once one side has been sufficiently covered, flip him around and begin the other side.

After everyone's done. Stick him in a giant vice and slowly close it to crush the thumbtacks into his skin, but don't get to the point where you're crushing bone.

Then, you take a junk yard crane with a giant electromagnet, stick him under it, and turn it on, so all the tacks come flying out of his skin. Repeat until all tacks are gone. Then just let him bleed to death.
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Post by Joe »

Durandal wrote:Here's what I'd like to see, though it will never happen.
Strip him down and strap him to a table in Time Square. Give a thumbtack with a magnetized head to those whose family members were killed in the World Trade Center and USS Cole attacks. Line the victims' families up single file, and let them stick the thumbtacks wherever they want, and let them grind it into him, if they so desire. Once one side has been sufficiently covered, flip him around and begin the other side.

After everyone's done. Stick him in a giant vice and slowly close it to crush the thumbtacks into his skin, but don't get to the point where you're crushing bone.

Then, you take a junk yard crane with a giant electromagnet, stick him under it, and turn it on, so all the tacks come flying out of his skin. Repeat until all tacks are gone. Then just let him bleed to death.
My, you're both bloodthirsty and creative :twisted: :twisted:

I like the idea of strapping him down to a table and dripping HCl onto him, very slowly. Eventually, we move to his heart, and let it be eaten away by the acid.
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Post by aerius »

First, kick him in the nuts, after that, use him as a medical research guineapig. We can give him various forms of cancer and test out new chemotherapy drugs and do radiation treatments on him, that stuff ain't fun from what I know. If he survives that then give him AIDS and test out various AIDS drugs, and then we can move on to other stuff like Ebola if by some miracle he lives through the AIDS tests. And when we're done dump him in a cave and make it look like a suicide.
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Put him on trial, give each person who helped us find him $25,000,000, see if we can get any information on him about terrorist activities after his greusome death, and then kill him in one of the ways mentioned above.
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Post by Darth Wong »

I still think that Osama Bin-Laden is an attention-whore, and that the most fitting death is an obscure one which puts the kibosh on the larger-than-life status he enjoys in Arab countries. Ideally, he would be found in the most undignified situation possible, eg- drowned while vomiting into the toilet after a case of food poisoning.
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Post by RogueIce »

Darth Wong wrote:I still think that Osama Bin-Laden is an attention-whore, and that the most fitting death is an obscure one which puts the kibosh on the larger-than-life status he enjoys in Arab countries. Ideally, he would be found in the most undignified situation possible, eg- drowned while vomiting into the toilet after a case of food poisoning.
With a picture of JanewayDominatrix on the floor! Oh, hell, make him watch some creative Janeway+DarkStar porn! :twisted:

Perinquus wrote:If he's never heard from again, he's not the legendary figure the West couldn't catch. He's the guy who launched an attack on the U.S. and was never heard from again. It avoids the martyr problem and leaves us looking more dangerous, powerful, and ruthless.
That's probably more realistic. You can make the denials those kinds of special denials that always leave doubt in your mind, but you can never prove it. Maybe something like JFK...

Though one unceremonious death would be to have it somehow staged so he dies like a coward (ie: trying to hide behind a child or something but getting popped by Special Forces troops or what-have-you). And, of course, videotape to prove it.
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