What to do with Bin Laden?

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-03-28 11:17pm

How bout we take his, uhm, male organ and stick it into the whole of a lid of a glass box full of flesh eating beetles, and make him watch....

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-03-28 11:17pm

Darth Wong wrote: He won't be taken alive, assuming he's not dead already.

A shame really.

Time for my broken record.

A tree on the White House lawn. A rope tied to a limb. A limp form swinging for a week solid. Attention whore, eh? Alright, 24 hour coverage for that week. All the attention he deserves.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-03-28 11:18pm

Nathan F wrote:How bout we take his, uhm, male organ and stick it into the whole of a lid of a glass box full of flesh eating beetles, and make him watch....

That presumes he has one of a decent enough size for the beetles to make a meal of...

Hey, it's a juvenile bin Laden organ joke! You had to expect it sooner or later!

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-03-28 11:33pm

Nathan F wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
Next of Kin wrote: Wrapped in swine-skin?
Of course. And covered in ham grease and with a mouth full of bacon!
With cans of spam shoved up his a$$.

Now that's just going too far!

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-03-29 12:03am

Next of Kin wrote:Now that's just going too far!

No it's not.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-29 12:35am

Naturally, Darth Wong takes the smart route, there's a lot to be said about finding drowned in vomit.
I also like the "disappear him" scenarios, yes he is an attention whore.
But I would much rather hamstring him, with his hands bound behind his back, and toss him into a herd of starving pigs. "Disappear" him by turning him into pig shit.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-03-29 12:57am

Frank Hipper wrote:<wnip>"Disappear" him by turning him into pig shit.

Uhm, what's the difference between that and what he is now?

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-03-29 02:51pm

From Those whacky brits...:

RogueIce wrote:
Queeb Salaron wrote:Put him on the ground floor of a big useless building and implode it upon him.
I can agree to that. See how HE likes it when a building falls down on top of you!

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-03-29 02:55pm

If taken alive, he should be given a quite trial for his crimes, and given a lethal injection. No media coverage until after the fact, and just a short quip.

However, I see no reason not to grenade the sucker, have the soldiers drags the bits out, and have a medical expert proclaim he's been dead for the past few months, just no one noticed. That will slay his precious followers faith, their leader has been dead all this time and no one noticed.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-29 02:59pm

If he`s still alive and captured he needs to die a slow and painfull death.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-03-29 04:48pm

If they find bin Laden alive, they can hardly afford to capture him, because we'd have to then put him on trial and make a big spectacle of it. Mike suggestion that they just drug him, throw him in a cave, hit it with a missile and then say they found his body would be the best way of dealing with him.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-03-29 05:56pm

Make it look like he was drunk and choked to death on a piece of bacon.

[EVIL GOVERNMENT MODE ENGAGED]

Use him. Torture him until he cracks, and make him produce videos proving he's alive and a threat.

Then stage a terrorist attack with a bomb on a plane that goes right through security. The plane is narrowly saved by a true American Patriot.

Use this to justify any military spending and laws.

In each video, Bin Laden with praise a country that the US hates for financing him. BOOM! America takes out that country.

And to make it look like the search is making progress, fake some top Al Quida officials being killed.

Anyone who opposes brand a "Unpatriotic Ant-American Terrorist Loving Liberal Hippy!"

Eventually, with America's control established, the US will find Bin Laden, stated at the top.

[END EVIL GOVERNMENT MODE]

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-03-29 06:13pm

I say we hook him up with an IV rig (no catheter, no colostomy bad for you, my son!) and drag the whole contraption onto a Tilt-A-Whirl. Put that fucker on Puree and see how long he lasts. Then let the midget clowns have him.

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2003-03-29 06:15pm

Make him beg for his life on TV. That or have him get sodomised by a Pig (also on TV).

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-03-29 06:17pm

Maybe he should get raped by a TV. (On TV.)

Waits to see how many of you get that one.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-29 06:19pm

That's all well and good for fun, but seriously, if we ever did something like that, we could expect to see some western journalist or tourist kidnapped and subjected to some kind of similar horrible death. Is that what you want?

No, kill him quietly and in such a manner as to ruin his larger-than-life public persona.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-03-29 06:25pm

Darth Wong wrote:That's all well and good for fun, but seriously, if we ever did something like that, we could expect to see some western journalist or tourist kidnapped and subjected to some kind of similar horrible death. Is that what you want?

No, kill him quietly and in such a manner as to ruin his larger-than-life public persona.

Aren't those goals kind of contradictory? Not trying to be a smartass, but how do you end a larger-than kind of life without a larger-than kind of death? No, wait... there is a way!

Clandestine kidnapping... constant overfeeding... gold llame jumpsuit... run-down hotel toilet tested for dead and bloated celebrity corpse support... we can do this!

Other than that, if "eye for an eye" style retribution is what you're worried about, let's arrange to have Carmen Electra fuck him to death. What the hell, I'll even volunteer to be the sacrificial journalist.

Skelron · Post by **Skelron** » 2003-03-29 06:26pm

I'm a simple dull man, a Trial conducted as fairly as possible given the circumstances. (his world wide infamy) For Crimes against Humanity conducted in an international court, with at least one Judge coming from a, as an example, Third World Country. (To derail any claims of American/Western bias) Then when he has been found Guilty, Treated the same way as anyone else with a list of crimes as long as his. Show that not only has he been beaten but, despite the hate many feel towards him, we WILL not Abandon our principles, and that it dosn't matter what people do to us, we will stick to what we claim to believe in. It sends out two signals, one it shows that we will treat all equally before the law, and two that when we say we believe something we actually mean it. Of course for this to be a viable tactic it has to extend to America's other prisoner's the ones at a certain bay... It means we have to start acting in the west, the things that we claim to belive in.

David · Post by **David** » 2003-03-29 08:38pm

If he is captured alive, which I doubt, the UN will probably demand that he be brought before an international court for war crimes, where, after years of procrastinating, he will be judged by a group of people which represent many contries that are guilty of war crimes themselves, or nations that have ties to other nations that uphold him as a hero.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-03-29 08:41pm

David wrote:If he is captured alive, which I doubt, the UN will probably demand that he be brought before an international court for war crimes, where, after years of procrastinating, he will be judged by a group of people which represent many contries that are guilty of war crimes themselves, or nations that have ties to other nations that uphold him as a hero.

Well, hey, why don't we just say "fuck the UN" if they try that? After all, it's what people accuse us of doing with Iraq. Why make bin Laden any different?

David · Post by **David** » 2003-03-29 08:56pm

Because we, as Americans, feel some deparate urge to appease a bunch of third rate nations whom have no effect on the international community other than to suck up millions because of the failure of their own governments

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-03-29 09:08pm

David wrote:Because we, as Americans, feel some deparate urge to appease a bunch of third rate nations whom have no effect on the international community other than to suck up millions because of the failure of their own governments

Ah, silly me. I forgot. Thanks for remind me of that and putting the UN back into perspective for me.

Still, I think if that were to happen, and they let him go, the public outcry in the US would DEMAND us to go get him from wherever they hold him for the trial and take care of him ourselves.

And I don't think it would involve a courtroom.

David · Post by **David** » 2003-03-29 09:12pm

I doubt that Bush or whoever is the prez at the time will want to go risk that kind of international pitfall, I also doubt bin Laden would allow himself to be taken captive.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-03-29 09:30pm

David wrote:I doubt that Bush or whoever is the prez at the time will want to go risk that kind of international pitfall, I also doubt bin Laden would allow himself to be taken captive.

I think international pitfall would be second to cries of impeachment if that were to happen, because I imagine the American public would NOT be pleased in such a scenario.

And you're right, he probably won't be taken alive. Personally, I would place money on some SpecForce guy just shooting him and saying he was resisting or something (not in a heoric way, but "grabbing for gun and managed to pull trigger on himself" or some other pointless/cowardly way of doing for PR value).

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-29 10:06pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:Maybe he should get raped by a TV. (On TV.)

Waits to see how many of you get that one.

Will it be on a FOX special called "When Arabic Terrorists Get Raped By an Electric Appliance"?

Yes, bin Laden deserves all of this, but wouldn't an embarrasing public execution make America look bad?

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What to do with Bin Laden?

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